VOL. 6. NO. 12.
select Miscellany.
This Baby’s Shh-f. I
A! warm 3‘! ‘38- JOKES.
We was all prepared to go to the wed-
ding. I was going. father was guinx. “'3
gals was going, and we was going to take
“'t' baby. But come to dress the baby. I
“laid“ t find its little shirt. I‘d laid a clean
0090‘“ 0f “10 answer a purpose; I knew
jest where I'd Pm “that come to look for it
it was gone.
“ For mercy‘s sake,” says I. “gals, has any
of you seen that baby‘s shirt?"
Of course none of ‘em had seen it, and I
looked again, but it wan't nowhere to be
found.
“It‘s the strangest. thing in all nature,"
says I ; “here I had that shirt in my hand
not more‘n ten minutes ago. and now it‘s
gone, nobody knows where ! “Gals," says I.
“do look around, can‘t ye P"
But fretting and fuming wouldn‘t :flnd it,
so I went to the bureau and fished up an-
ther shirt, and put it on to the baby. and
at last we were ready for a start.
Father had harnessed up the double team
and the gals were all having a good time,
going to see hisry Ann married: but some-
how I couldn’t get over that baby‘s shirt.
’Twant so much the shirt, hut to have any~
thing sperrited away from under my face
and eyes, 'twas too provoking.
“ What be you thinking about, mamma l“
says Sophrony. “What makes you so we
her 9" says she.
“l‘m pestered to death thinking about
that babfl shirt.“ says I. “One of you
must it took it, I‘m sartain.“ I says.
“New, ma.“ says Sophrony. says she.
“you needn‘t say that.“ And,“ I laid it
on to ‘em a good many times. they were be
ginning to get gored, and an, we had it
back and forth all about that baby‘s shirt
till we got to the wedding.
Seeing company kind ‘0 put it out ‘o my
mind, and l was gettin‘ good natur’d again.
though i couldn‘t help but any to myself,
every few minutes, what could hare become
of that baby‘s shirt t Till they stood up to
be married, and i forget all about it. Natty
Ann was areal modest creature. and war-
niurv‘n half frightened to death, when she
came into the mom with Stephen, and the
minixtrr told ‘em to jino hands. She that
gave her left band to Stephen. “Your our
rt hand.“ any: the minister, and poor SM n,
he was so baahfui, too, he didn‘t know
what he mu about. he thounht it was his
outtake. am he gave diary his left it ind
That wouldn‘t do, anywuy; but by thia
tune they didn‘t know what they um
about, and Diary Ann lined her left hand
with hit left. thou the loft with the right,
then bo‘h their left initials sguiu, till i WM
all in a tidgrt, and thought they never ‘ii get
fired. Mary Ann looked as red as a turkey;
and to unite matters wuss. she began to
cough—to turn it off. I suppose—anti called
for a glass of water. The minister had
just been drinking, and the tumbler stood
right there. I was so nervous," and in such
a hurry to see it all over, with that I ketch.
ed up the tumbler and ran with it to her;
for i thought to goodness she was going to
faint. She undertook to drink. I" do not
know it happened, but the tumbler slipped,
and gracious me i if between us both we
didn‘t spill the water all over her collar and
sleeve. I was dreadfully frustrated, for it
looked as though 'twas all my fault. and
the first thing I did was to out with my
handkerchief and give it to Mary Ann. It
was nicely done up: she took it and shook
it out. The folks had held in putty well
up to this time, but then such a giggle and
laugh as there was. I didn’t know what
had given them such a start till I looked
and seen. I‘d gins Mary Ann that ba'ly‘a
shirt .’
(Here Mrs. Jones, who is a big fleshy wo—
man. undulated and shook like Is mighty
jelly with mirth. and it was some time be—
fore she amid proceed with her narrative.)
"Why," she continued. while tears of
laughter ran down he cheeks. "I'd tucked
into my dress pocket, instead of a handkerv
chief. That came of being absent minded
and in a fldget."
“And Mary Ann and Stephen-were
they married, after all ?"
“Dearme, yes," said Mrs. Jones, “and
turned out the gayest {wedding I ever at-
tended.”
“0"—
; Clergyutau’s Joke.
I was spending the night in a hotel in
Freeport, Illinois. After breakfast I went
into the sitting room, where I met a pleas-
ant, chatty, goodhumored traveler. who,
like myself. was waiting for the morning
train from Galena. We couversed freely
and pleasantly on different topics, until
seeing two young ladies meet and kissed
each other in the street. the conversation
turnedon kissing, just about the time the
train was approaching.
“ Come,” said he. taking up his cut-pet-
bug, “we are on so sweet subject.let us have
a practical application. I'll make a propo.
cities to rot I‘ll agree to kiss the most
beautiful lady in the cars from Galena, you
beiugthe judge, if you will kiss the next, I
being the judge-’1
This proposition staggered me a little,and
I could hardly tell whether he was in earnest
or in fun; but as he would be as deeply in
it as I could be, I agreed; provided he would
do the first hiatus. though my heart failed
somewhat as I saw his black eyes fairly
dance with during.
“.Yee.” said be, "I‘ll try it first. You
take the backcur,aud go in from the front
“where touunseuhefma cf the la-
'ooe you think
hideously ugly. wrinkled old woman. who
sat in the seat behind.
" Oh, you must excuse me—you must i" I
exclaimed. “ I'm sold this time. I give up.
Do tell me when you have been kissing l"
“ Well." said be, “since you are a man of
so much taste. and‘ such quick preception,
I'll let you off." And we all burst into a
hearty peel of laughter as he said, “ This is
my wife. I have been waiting for her. I
knew that it was a safe proposition."
He told the story to his wife. who looked
ttenfoid sweeter as she heard it.
Before we recahed Chicago we exchanged
cards, and I discovered that my genial com-
panion was a popular Episcopalian preach-
er of (lhicago, whose name I had frequently
heard. Whenever I go to Chicago I always
go to hear him, and a hcartier, more natural
and eloquent preacher ta hard to land. He
was then a young-man: he is now well
known as one of the ablest divine: of the
Episcopal denomination in the Wash—Elat-
per’s Weekly.
,.
The Surprise Party at Potter’s.
BY 3A! .LDEIJR.
Some of fir. and Mrs. Potter‘s friends
happened to remember that last Wednesday
was the tenth anniversary of their wedding.
and they determined to get tip a surprise
party and call at Potter's house. So every-
body purchased u little present of some kind
to take along, and Mrs. Potter‘s aunt got a
beautiful illuminated sign lucloaed in a wal-
nut frame, and bearing the inscription.
“ Heaven Bless Our Happy liontc," and Mr.
Potter‘s uncle got another one with the leg
end, “True Lave Never Dies.“ And when
the provisions were all ready the party start-
ed for the house. They wanted to surprise
the happy couple as much as possible, so
they concluded not to ring the door hell.
But Mrs. I‘otter‘a aunt softly opened the
front door. and assembled the party in the
entry. Then. at a given signal. they opened
the sitting room doar,and burst in with ti
loud laugh. ‘
The scene that that their eyes was a very
taieresting one. Mr. Putter was lying upon
the door with his nose blwdiue,and lira
Potter was leaning over him with a milieu
pin in list hanil,with which she had ev‘r
.ieutly been haiitiuering the husband of her-
timid iluih of theiu hinted but and “Add
When the «tumour prune in lint. Potter hid
the tull'ttiirpiu in the skirts of herdtoas, and
l‘ulivt‘ poked himself up with it sickly lib
nuupt at ti smile twinning about his face.
“ timid joke, wasn‘t it!“ said i‘otter, with
ttit auntie growing alekliet every minute
“ We were prai‘tloinu for \hiliN\lX«“
“ No we weren‘t either,“ antippuil Mrs.
Potter.
“ Why, my low,“ he replied, “ we vet-
t duly new. You Went, liupt‘t‘suutitlui: l‘u
t‘ttittlttlttl saving the life of Smith, and X Wu:
Smith. You know that we, are going to
have tableaux this evening."
“ NH, 1 don't know it, either.
going to have any such foolory iti this house.
“ My darling. how changeable you are!
Now we must have them. I want the folks
t see you as Pocahontas. Won't she make
an Pocahontas, new look at her i"
“ YT . know I banged you with this roll-
lug-pin because you gave me impudcnce.
Now that‘s the wifolc truth. And I'll do
it ngaiu."
" No you won‘t,“ said l’ottcr.
“ Yes, It will."
“ l'd like to sec you .“
“ You would hey? You think I daresn‘t
because these people are stickingthcmselvea
in here where they‘re not wanted. I‘ll
show you.
Then Mrs. Potter uplifted her weapon
and made a dash at him, whereupon Mr.
Potter walked as rapidly as he could, cou-
sistently with dignity, out through the door
into the yard. Tbsp the company conclud-
ed to adjourn, Mrs. Potter wentinto Jones‘
and stuck "Heaven Bless Our llappy Home"
into the stove, and Mr. Potter's uncle split
up “ True Love Never chs" with the axe.
in disgust, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter celebrat-
ed their anniversary ln their own way by
themselves. It will be very surprising if
anybody ever undertakes to get up another
surprise party in our village.
My“
“ Old Hundred.”
We ain‘t
it
If it be true that Luther composed that
tune, if the worship of immortals is carried
on the wings of angels, how often has be
heard the declaration, “ They are singing
‘ Old Hundred ’ now. "
The solemn strain carries us back to the
time of the reformers—Luther and his de-
voted bsnd. He, doubtless, was the first to
strike the grand old chorus in the public
sanctury of his Germany. From his own
steutorian lungs they rolled, vibrating, not
through vaulted cathedral roof, but along a
grander arch—the eternal heavens. ‘ Be
wrought into each note his own sublime
faith‘s immortality. Hence it cannot die!
Neither men nor angels will let it pass into
oblivion.
Can you find a tomb in the land where
sealed lips are that have not snug that tune ‘3
If they were grey old men. they had heard
or sung " Old Hundred. " If they were
babies, they smiled as their mothers rocked
them to. sleep singing " Old Hundred. "
Sinner and saint have joined with the end
less congregation where it has, and without
the peeling organ. sounded on sacred air
The deer little children, looking with won-
drous eyes on this strange world. have lisped
it. The sweet young girl whose tombstone
told of sixteen summers. she whose pure
and innocent face haunted you with its
mild beauty, loved"0ld Hundred, " and as
she song it, closed her eyes and seemed com-
muting with the angels who came so soon
to claim her. He whose manhood was as.
voted to the service of God. and who, with
filtering atop- asended the pulpit stairs with
white hand placed over his laboring breast,
loved " Old Hundred. " And though some-
times his lips only moved. away down in
his Monsoon to ”use its throbs.tbe
melody was sounding. The dear white-
headed father, with his tremulous voice. how
he loved " Old Hundred. ” Dc youuee him
now, sitting in the venerable arm-chair, his
armserossedcver thump of his eaue.his
silvery. locks flouting of from his hollow
temples, and a tearpascbuuoe. Ming down
his fur-rowed checks, as the noble strains
riagoutf Bomb-articulate. quivering,
fuming sound new bunting forth. now its-
asuudfcr.ul-ustluvaiuf If youdouot.
four sacrum service in the Issuer's
ep-a."Old»nuudnd'uauuds faduada
sand-dais. '
You-swaye- churches with
together. Martyrs have hallowed it; it has
gone up from the dying beds of saints.
The old churches where generation after gen-
eration has worshiped. and where many
scores of dear dead have been carried. and
laid before the alter where they gave them-
selves to God,seem to breathe of “ Old Hun-
dred. " From vestibule to tower top. the
very air is haunted with its spirit.
Think, for a moment, of the assembled
company who have, at. different. times and
at. different. places, joined in the familiar
tune! Throug upon throng-the stern,
the timid. the gentle, the brave, the beauti-
fulr—their rapt faces all beaming with the
inspiration of the heavenly sounds.
" Old Hundred t" king of the sacred hand
of heavenly airs! Never shall our ears
grow weary of betting, or our tongues of
singing thee! And when we get toheaveu.
who knows but what the first triumphai
strain that welcomes us may be—
" Be then. 0 God, exalted high. "
-——-.~'——
A Stage “Horse ”
A humorist writes: Some time ago I
gave an account of an accident that
happened to Mr. Hammar, the .tragediun,
at our little theatre in New Castle. while
he was representing the ”Demon of the
Harts,“ and was engaged in descending
through the stage to the infernal regions.
A superhumorary flashed a barrelful of
red fire through the hole as the demon was
going down, and five minutes later an under-
duno demon was being carried home on a
stretcher. Well. Mr. Hammar has met
with another disaster. Last week the man-
ager put on another piece entitled “Wild
Bill; or the Scent of the Rocky Mountains,"
and in this Mr. liammar was to be tied up-
on the hack of an unbroken horse and sent
hurling over the edge of n precipice. Au
nobody in town would lend a horse for the
purpose. the manager bind a mule from the
captain of a canal boat, the Roaring
Maria During the rehearsals the mule
did well enough, but on the first night of
the play the foulilghta must have soared it.
furs: soon as the savages had tied Wild
llill upon his back. instead of charging over
that awful lath and canvass precipice. it to
fused to budge. And when the lndlau
chihftaih prodded it in the side with a tin
spear it not only let out its heels and kicked
that unfortunate bravo into the wings, with
his spout janiineil savagely against the
stomach of the pruniptar, but it melted
around and intidc tin earnest etihrt to chew
Wild Bill‘s legs. Fallinglii this it stood up‘
on three feet and endeavored to ranch up to
hit. “lithium and it‘fhlttlitim otl‘ with the
hoof of its near hind his. Then the “Hub
aunt canto out and “it‘ll in start tlw “title
with it whip. but it merely brush in
about round utul Ntlltti, until tlm trnuodiau
felt an nick: und then it charged up
against the scenery, liivlted ii briin new aun-
tmt torturamtduehil thu f‘illii‘il precipice to
splinters, upset two muslin lifted, and finally
brought up with one leg entangled in the
Son of Galileo, which was pressed into ant»
vice on this orcnalnn to represent Stilt Lake.
This frightened the rnulo so that it Jerknil
the Sun of (lulllco clnar over on the stage
and then went into it (it, during which it tum-
bled, mtd nftor rolling over and over Mr.
[laminar three or'four times, it plunged in.
to the orchestra, and expired with its
luiunchcs in the base drum and Its forelegs
tearing the big tlddlo into kindling wood.
When they untied Wild lllll ht} arose,
wiped the blood from his nose with his
sleeve, felt his legs to sac that they were un-
broken, tind then he went to the ultlcrman‘s
office and registered an oath never to play
anything again but low comedy if he should
live 0,000 years. “ The Scout of the Rocky
Mountains" has been withdrawn, and the
captain of the Roaring Maria is about to
enter suit for damages to that mule.
W
Old Maids.
All through thcland, in homes, and out-
side of them, I find these women, unwed-
ded, in the vulgar patience of every-day
spcecb called “ old maids." with a shrug of
the shoulder. and a slight dash of acorn, in
the finer language of sociologists and essay-
ists denominated “ superfluous women.“—
They have been brave enough to elect to
walk through life alone when some man has
asked them in marriage whom they could
not love; with white lips they have said
“ no," while their hearts have said “‘yee,"
because duty demanded of them the sacri-
fice demanded of them the sacrifice of
their own- happiness. Their lives have
been stepping stones for the advancment of
younger sisters: they have earned the mou-
cy to carry brothers through college into
professions; like the Csrystides of architec-
ture, they stand in their places and uphold
the roof over a dependent household; they
invert the order of nature and become moth-
ers'to the aged, childish parents,-fathers and
mothers. whose failing first they guide gent-
ly down the bill of life, and whose wither.
ed bands they by and by fold beneath the
daisies; they carry words of cheer Put! a
world of comfort to households invaded by
trouble. sickness or death. The dusty years
stretch far behind them; beauty and come-
liners drop away from them, and my grow
faded and carcworn; they become nobodies
to the hurrying, rushing world, and by and
by they will slip out into the gloom—the
shadow will veil them forever from earthly
sight—the great surprise of.the joyful greet-
ing will welcome them, and they will thrill
to the embrace of the heavenly Bridegroom.
Ah! Stewart, who, from your $100,000,000
of earthly treasurea,have given 41,000,000
to the working women in a pleasant hornet
Ah! Peabody, whose gifts of libraries and
institutes and educational funds were prince
ly! Ah! Vanderbilt and Drew. who have
put millions into endowments of schools and
colleges—these poor women have given and
are giving. more than ye all. For out of
your abundance ye have given but little,
and these superfluous women have given
their all—themselves, with their loving
hearts, with their primibillties of happiness,
with their drums of the future! Ah! three-
atarred Grant and Sherman, uotao heroic
was your march through the fearful, brist-
ling wilderness, and from Atlantato the sea.
as is the lonely pamage of this life made by
many an unmated women. whose desolate,
oelihata memes to point a test or add cy-
nical pleasautry to a story. To were stim-
ulated bytheobeutv audprayaraafa'uatlon.
while the guns of a world followed you.
nuttbe patboftbusu women was through
thahctuhct ofridicuis and stun—m A."
m. ~
“~—
A
moles.
ill-II?
”manuals-of: '
Wt‘lahtbe-oevlr .
flow The Wise Woman Work.
—-——-
A lady lnISclenoe Health says:
Monday she rises at the usual hour, which
is fixed to suit both personal needs and aur-
roundlug circumstances. She looks over
her work for the week, and, so far as possi-
ble, she arranges a certain amount of seden-
try work. If baking cr churning, or both.
must be done on Monday. she puts off her
washing until Tuesday, which gives her the
opportunity of putting her clothes to soak
over night.
Then she has the ironing for Wednesday
baking for Thursday, sweeping for Friday,
and cleaning and some baking, and perhaps
week she can wash on Monday it the pre-
fern.
If possible, she has the same jobs for each
day for the week. but if not, she finds some
way of changing, so that she doe not get
much more exercise than a fair pro gtlon
each day. If she gets too much any way
so much the more need of careful manage-
ment. lies sowing is selected, and the wants
of her family so well foreseen that she has
that done first that will be needed most.
though many a time she lets an old garment
be worn rather than break in upon her hours
of nightly repose. She has some light work
if any. for the evening. has her hour for re-
tiring. and keeps it, allowing herself the
time for rest. which she knows from cxperl"
once to be necessary. She W some time
out of doors every day, even if she has to
take her work with her.
Sits takes .thlnga calmly, does not waste
her nerve power, stops and rests if she feels
exhausted, and lets the extra jobs go to the
wall rather than make herself sick with try.
in: to do them. If she really has too much
to do, she studies devices for “shunting “
her work. especially that part of it designed
for show. If still there is too much to do.
she hires help for the heaviest jobs or for
the sewing. and saves money to pay for it
out of a doctor‘s bill. .
She puts some of but vitality into vivaci
tv and companionship for her faintly and
friends. instead of laying it out on their
backs or for their palates. She gives them
her wise Mid kind companionship durina ti
luau. plenum life. She tnaittta them wiser
than they would have been without her; she
bequeatha vitality, calmness and power to
her children, who rise up and call her Nm‘
oil. llet‘ husband also miwth hot and at
last in a ripe old are they go home together.
“Qt——
linen Straight Ahead.
m
l‘ay no attention to slandcrvni or gossip
lliultilt‘l'it. limp llii‘itillititlil in your Nurse
and let their bactihltinira die the death of
«whet. \Viiaiis the use of lying awake
nights, brooding over the remark of sonic
fiilsn friend. that runs through your brain
like forked lightning it What‘s tho use of
getting into it worry and fret over gossip
that has been afloat to your disadvantage“
by acute inctlillcsoiun busy-body. who has
more time than character. Those things
can‘t possibly injure you, unless, indeed,
you take notice of them. and in combating
them gave them character and standing. If
what is Ntltl about you is true, set yourself
right at once; if it is false, let it go for what
it will fetch. If abcc stings you, would
you go into a hive and destroy it t Would
nota thousand come upon you t it in wt:-
dom to any little respecting the iniurlcu you
have received. We are generally losers, in
the end, if we stop to refute all the back-
bltiugs and pumping: we may hour by the
way. They are annoying, it is true, but
not dangerous, so long as we do not stop to
to expostulate and scold. Our characters
are formed and sustained by ourselves, and
not by others. Let us hear in mind that
calumniaters may usually be trusted to time
and the slow but steady justice of public
opinion.
——--¢oh—-——
Ilow T0 I’m run Canopies—Suva n
writer on canaries: In this way I answer
the question “how I have such luck with the
birds 9" Simply by allowing the birds to at-
tend to their own affairs, and by letting
them understand that their mistress would
never harm them. Also by accustoming
them to plenty of light and air and com-
pany, rather than as recommended in books
keeping the cage in a dark room, for fear of
frightening the birds. Make just half the
fuss directed in bird books over the matter,
and you will have, doubtless, better success
in raising birds. Never give them sugar,
but. all the red peppers they will eat. It is
the best thing for them. And if your bird
feels hoarse at any time, put a piece of fat
salt pork in the cage. and see how the little
fellow will enjoy it. Give them flax seed
cone in a while, and if he appears dumpyoc-
cusioually giver. diet of bread and water,
with red pepper sprinkled in. Open the
care door and give your pets the freedom of
the room ; soon they will come at your call
and fly to meet you whenever your voice is
heard. I had one which came regularly to
my desk as I sat writing each day, and dis-
puted with fluttering wing and open beak,
my humble right to the inkatand. He
would take his bath as I held the cup in my
hand, and coolly dry himself on my head.
Another would fly down or upstairs to me
when I called him, and many a time, when
I have been out, be has welcomed my re-
turn by flying down the stairs and singing
at the top of his voice all the while, until at
last. perched on my shoulder, he would so-
company me to my room..
—-—-690--—-—
Nsrouton arm was: DumautnfifT-Ee
following little incident is relswd by Count
do Segur, one of Napoleon’s personal staff
in his molly published memoirs :
One day, preceding an engagement, the
Emperor sought a short interval of repeat!
and shelter from the weather in a farm-
house at Haulack. where H. de Segnr found
him slumbcring in a chair on one side of a
stoveéswkilst a young drummer. also slumber.
lug. occupied the other.
Aatoulahed at this spectacle. he ascertain-
ed that on the Emperor‘s arrival they tried
to turn out the drummer. who resisted. say-
ing that there was room enough for all;
that he was cold. was wounded. was very
welltvthsre, and would remain where be
On hearing this, Nepoieon laughed,and
ordarudthatheshoultl heluftlahia chair,
sincebuostmnglyiusistedouit. Thusthe
fugubvab,nrrouudodhya W‘d‘flf
V
mmmdmm. want-a
The host glowing passages in a minister's
sermon will attract half the attention that
oontretion the man who blows his nose in
church
g . ”1......—
A x ntncky school-muster who had his
wife! upupil found it necessary to chas-
tise b one day. Next. day a notice appear-
ed ont e door. saying. " School closed for
» one w . wheel-master is it ."
I W
A. Ie timentul Machine": girl wanted
a
Itis e fashion now instead of tying a
rib and the throat to ornament the
front 0 the palatot orjacket with loops and
long 3. These are always scarlet, unless
the ribbn matches the suit or costume.
' —-——-.>———-
The. rrisburg Telegraph says: “One of
the ' working preachers of our city
writaes that of his members who take
Rafi. daily papers nine per cent. are
onset! to the Telegraph." Is this the
remuleiaeobard worked? '
’ ——-o»—-—-—
P. 3 darnum has resolved to be a travel-
ing man no longer, but when it was
annouui‘rd that New Haven had a two-
legged lone, his wife had to hide his hat.
“ Mv ion," said a stern parent to a seven-
yearcid hopeful, “ I must discipline you.
Your (ember any: you are the worst boy in
school.“- “ Well. papa," was the reply,
“only yutetday she said I was just like my
tamer."
Mm
The pinion of the Philadelphia Inquirer
set (not sit) up “ The Night before Christ-
mas“ imply-seven years are. and the panel
has hunkept standing ever since. and was
printed it that paper from the original types
first asst in 1348.
W
A young man suffering from “hereditary
guilt“ and he didn‘t mind the pain of it so
hutch, that,“ said he, “the thought that
some oil ancestor had all the fun of sequin
in: thisbteelous heirloom is what take: hold
of his:
, rMQW
.Tbe tillfl lady who was so tail that her
ninth ad to make her all down hefnmahe
could d but successfully would find a
suite mate in the French noun major.
Whom (night was such that he couldn‘t look
down tothc around without feeling diary.
A that who admitted that he played the
amniiui fell intcthe hands of the court
title uniting, yet, for aortic espileahlu roa-
sou, thulutlgo allowed the opportunity to
slip through his lingers, and only gave
him thirty days. There is such it thing as
trying the temper of the people too far.—
Bridgeport Standard.
’ —----¢eo---
Mlasvlda Sweet is the United States Pen-
sion Agent tit Chicago, and somebody has
been itugallant. enough to charge her with
paying a regular tribute for the privilege of
retaining hor ofllco. This site indignantly
denim, and says that her position has lud‘
volveii her in no expense whatever, except
for a shot gun and bull dog to keep off Chl-
cago widowers.
.—-—«o--—
The bill for the worsted that a Main SL,
woman used in working 3 dog on her hus~
band‘s flippers, was brought into him yes-
terday, and he remarked to her that he
wasn‘t going to pay any dollar and a half
for any such fixing." “ lint you said you
wanted a dog on them, responded his wife.
" So I did, madam, so I did. But you
might have made a darned sight smaller
dog." _ .
“ Who‘s Herbert Spencer,Popt" asked an
inquiring Brooklyn boy of his father the
other morning. “ He's a famous English
philosopher, my son." “ And what‘s a phl-
losopber !" continued the lad. with the busi-
ness air of a person who could keep right on
asking questions until doomsday. “ A phi-
losopher," returned the father, gravely, " is
a man who never marries.“
An Ohio editor sat down the other day
and commenced a powerful editorial headed,
“ lIow Shall We Rise f" After writing half
a column be left his chair for a few minutes,
and when he returned he sat down pretty
emphatically on a bent pin placed there by
the “ devil." He soon ascertained “ How to
Rise," but be finished the article in the man-
ner he described when starting out, notwith-
standing. Then he made the " devil ” rise.
W
About a year ago. a couple were married
by a Hartford clergyman now preaching in
New York, and started at once for Europe.
The bridegroom afterward found that a
$100 bill which he had intended to give the
minister as a marriage fee was still in his
et. 0:: his return to this country, he
sought out the minister and asked him
about the fun. "My friend, I received at
your marriage a very small quantity of flue
cut chewing tobacco. folded in: very small
piece of paper,” was the minister‘s reply.
W
Tun Wuhan Punt—Ln old man en-
tered aDetroit shirt store, recently. to get
himself apulr of mittens. He. sawtaome
chest protectors there, and after looking
them over he said : ,
“Well,I'li be mashed if I know what
thui are.” ‘
" They are capital things for the' winter,“
replied the clerk; “ they are chest protec-
tot-s.”
"Put’em on the chest 9” asked the old
man. ,
“Yea. rigbtover the lungs. I will sell
you one very cheap. if you viaat it.f’
," N6, I guess not. My old woman never
hits a down blow. and one 0‘ these things
wouldn’t be wortbga cent t " ' '
”0——
uncleaoclssmwbustuuemiu an
case! who snulldvury ml: of brandy
milieu—two which the doctor
mikes out from the shoulder. but always '
3mm.—Dr.!'raeklta was om sit- *
.-
sumpaarmnfgor
rususunn avuar “mu
GOLDEN BROTHERS, Proprietors-
omcu ll (INK aussrsuwcu. III! M.
(use Your ..... 01.50 lSIx Ila-chm. ".00
Single 03919., 0. Cents.
TERMS STRICTLY IN ADVANCE
No paper discontinued until all arrearageu are
paid, except at tho optlon of the publisher.
Tar-u ofifiorttfim.
run. 1 in. Sin. bin. din. Kcollggcoi. tool.
1 week. at on as no as no at 005500 $700 an on
I “ tm‘s'm'fi't—Fis "tile”b's’o tefi
wmfliwmfflifi' t'obW. 19E
lmonth.250 500 can also l in 'tupc__eooo
a n 4 cow-Ton_§'sfi's‘fi.tgoo logo 3:30
a—T‘Tfié‘fifio tfld’tm unfit—00:10“:
c " soo ism'isco taco asm'sofio 7m
9 .. is so soon Woo umS'uHWssfi'tificn
. 15 as on s. on reptilian
a’ One inch spare constitutes a square: but no
advertisements will be counted less than one square
Hart-tapes and Deaths inserted gratuitously.
local Notices )0 cents per line.
ENQUSMQI R STA
in rho
ELL MS
i.
IIFIB To 8001‘]! NORWALK
IINI‘INIL.
W. G. BURKE, In, rs. 1).
Physician and Stu-goon,
00ers his professional services in the ritlrena of
SouthNiu-wulk and vlcliutv. mum over First Nu.
ticuai Bank, South Nuriral'k. ("“015 hours 8 to ill a.
m.,5.to1:!~l0p.m. but
T“ “Eii‘éi‘i’a'fiifinfi .’
, .
D E N T I S 'l‘ .
Extracting teeth and inacrtiu: artificial dentures a
B
apocialts'.
OFFICE OVER SWt-RD‘S Cbovuin‘u Eunmuu,
”3 South Sorwalk.
EMILY V. D. PARDEE, M. ii,
(Graduate of N. Y Modieal (village for \\‘un\ou.\
for. J“ l.\‘ if .VA RN“ 1. f. NTA‘R‘FTS.
SOI‘I‘II NOIWAliK. CONN.
Office Hours, tintzl ii a. in . and from :f p. in. .-\t«
“Within to all t’laau-v of diversion incident “I it gt u-
nto! implies: iii “hulk“: o and tumor: Nate kept at
b‘ran' Mind‘s t‘sstfln'tiurwu, nptuwn,auil all “f‘
dots promptli t‘uru‘atiimt and attended tit Families
an \p pad With "mum-path“ “‘“h‘dh'fi
ofvtouinu its p. rmiv-iaut-S Minuthal. N D .
:‘ruf. of l‘hiwu tiuil l‘tacttw. b‘, Y. t up; i lenient n
,iiytnp M, It than of t‘iittvgo X. \' l Al‘rvvl h
“fill. it it. run. Malaria nut-u sail
Wilhiltfiiitit lNSUllANCE 00.,
or wavenronx. x. t‘..
Aaaeta over annoyance,
O. I. WILSON
eta—mt for out
w“ ‘hft&t2l§"e!«"$‘$“‘m
(titanium ~door "'Fflflfiéfivi'g: Peak, Sewer:
[401713 J. 13] “4in E.
Attorney at Counsellor-at-Law.
Office. in Swot-it‘s Building,
SOUTH NORWALK. CONN.
ttlttlec formerly wanted by Xi'ivtlln if. lead.)
Entrance on \t‘uahlngtou Street
Premium in all the Courts of t State. (‘nuvtw -
ant-inn carefully executed. cottons mptly.
attendant to. use
Other hours from it M. till l3 M: from 1 RM. to
A.
5 l‘..\l.', from 'u' l‘. M. till ll “M.
GREGORY‘S POINT
MARINE RAILWAY,
sou-nu ivonwauu, or.
CAPACITY OF RMLWAYS. ' LOGO TONS.
Hinds Built or aniwd at Short N'uflicd.
Furniture for voaaoll, Paint. Oils. "eel: Varnish,
Oaknm. Shin Tonia, elm, constantly on bond for sale.
ltll GEO. 8. BELL.
FRENOH’S HOTEL,
Main Street South Sorn‘nlk, Conn.
FORMERM' LUCAS HOTEL.
Eul:ir-cd and newly Furnished. Charges reasonable.
Partlt'l a specialty.
as: C. G. FRENCH. Proprietor.
”sumac-H's HOTEL,
ON Till-3‘. EUROPEAN I‘L.k.\'.
OppOsite City Hall. Park. (‘o’urf House
and New Post Office.
N E\V h' () Ii Ii.
All mndi-rn improvements, Including elevator.
Moms $1 per day and upwards.
257.” T.J. FRENCH & BROS“ Proprietors.
GEO. SCIIAUB’H
Germania House,
Corner uf Olav Street. and Railroad Place.
Best N. Y. Luger Beer. finals at all
Hours.
HAIL COLUMBIA!
A REMARKABLE ECLIPSE will take place some
time in 1 870.
PENNELL’S INK.
will eclipse all others.beoauue it is not Injured
innit-falling, will not. cos-ode the pen or
m n . '
T
Semarang new. and reallv fine.
for Pennell'e Tooth Yowder.
I‘OCEIES.
JOHN HUTCHINGS,
Formerly Hatching: it Ferris, Ely‘s Block. llalu
street. South Norwalk. Thankful for the past pat.~
onagc received from his customers. he hopes, by
keeping a good assortment of Groceries. to meet
their approbation. and secure agcneroua share of
their patronage in the future. I-tf
Imperial Glo a Ink.
kyourDrugriu
FitANK A". 130141.38 a. 00..
DIAL“! I.
GKOtlliittlES PROVISiONS,
‘\.
ovens House BLOCK mm or..
til-y son'ru uouwanx. coma.
_'/ _ Dealer in ,
syn-m. Tin Ware. Cooking Utensfls,_
lamps m leuse heal-Ila! it...
Iota:
1/ .
attended
ctr wasumo-ron swam. scum" 1!!!an
Preserves. Jellies. Canned Fruits. Etc.
W
.Tin. audShaclrcuwcekv
umtdm. rum all kinds M
A
[It
., .
V ‘7.
o.
M
, supine,
copy,
scrum-r,
UNIVERSAL,
Pl‘TNAM,
The (“partnership
'1‘. c. Srrautonund t .
by iiiuiih'isd.
discount “ill be timili- to titular who
l‘i-t “on. tint elite: from a radius of t 3 mile-
frwu New "at i‘ll.
GEN BIL“.
W noaifiou,
RELIANCE, SHERMAN,
MONITOR. I'UTNAH .
SHERMAN NOVELTY,
nuance,
L's'ti' Eltn‘AL,
t'uun',
(fluid 02 Ht.”
EMF!“ ii,
3“.
[2. Id. Locli “’000’8.
§5 .. $20
Ollie.
inhuman—Norton.
Per Day at home. Terms free. Ad
dress (a. Samson J: 00.. Portland
“1&1 t'
Sorta Normans, November. ilk rm
heretofore ‘exlvtine between
F. la tern.ni.i)unts'-te. is here
‘i‘liiiw vi bu sua- in need of annulus: dwtul ops-tn-
t'ious. and desire the lwiwtit or Dr
‘Ia‘l'lt‘ui‘a‘ in figurative. Surciiuii or Mei-hauled Dent.
airy. can commit him at his tailor, 88 Wall 3|...
New Haven, van... near (Village SL
Laurhin.‘ true, fill” and other Altiuibolii‘a for the
pfl‘iltit'” extractor) of twtb and other surgical oper-
ntluila, adminisirwd
i‘rtotenn‘s rx-
utmn in
All «In-rutiianuvanauteu. utilitf
HARDWARE.
int enactment in with of
II .t till watt E,
uncut mes Ti n ma.
Of “W luau quality
Phillis, Oils and Window Glam,
3!. tier- Iitid Ilia-d incl-v- I‘nra t‘iultl. Plated unit
Knobs. a la . umtttuout of Tattle at.
l‘iwlit-t Cutlery. of the “‘3 quality. elmap for rash
Item "rut-lung omen. unanimi- Paper \t‘
W
I‘A‘VN 1‘10 W B3818.
w. c. outrun.
vuth Norwalk. hav. 9:. 1610.
N IC“’ lt‘I RN!
C1118. HUIJJNGS.
Agricultural implements. bleehnnlcu‘ Tunis.
IV. (3. QUIN‘TARD & (30.,
N . a, Operas House mm. 3%
SOUTH NORWALK. (0W.
nuns altar-r
'fl-bf
9
At the Old Stand.
\"«.—‘<\ _
(untrue. Dinning-\s & 'lilly
l
Would rcam-ctfully inform the public that the ' but'e
“hr“ the business lain-ix conducted by Silas
tie. and am prepared to manu'acturc all kinds of
Tut-
CABRIAG BS 8: WAGONS TO ORDER.
Ike-pairing In all Branches of the
Trade
tone in a moat workmanlike manner.
Both help: pract'cui mechanics, and thoroughly
acqlunmted nilh all branches of the busincs. they
{no assured that the," an
c all who may entrust wor
MACHINE FORGIflG.
ve perfect satisfaction
to their care.
II. I" Isl-Y.
2!!) 1y
scorn seawanu cm W
Im—Wum c. Qua-um
Gad-Joli W. Claw.
auscul- List "n and us—c. W. m .
.. “ W’s—mm (not:
41%; 16mm. -
'Wr'uaau 0: let-flu, m
Runes.
Mae—Wrink- T. Ouaw.
WW. 0. lulu, In.
' ms .1 .lu
X. 9.
AW as. ,
lav Walls—Nelson J. Cl." Near: I. amour
w. floyt, Win. it. Danae.
”Wan —W. 8. Beef m I. Inc. Tb“.
as I. I‘f'urmond. David Emmi. '
3D sundae. 3. Raymond. E. E flwod.‘ Ch”-
E. Doty, Henry Summit.
Wafer W .
No for, Term expire-J n I am.
’f‘utlmadge alter “ “ 5. E? g.
as
mar-unnum- enamored-nan!
0’
m 'ra men ' nu.
noe- 09.1. R 8.11. I! ’4.-
ecph R. Raymond. ay d.
Ordinance—W. 8. Hunford, D. R. Eefleek, 8-?!
Seymour. , »
[giro—II. If. Elwcli. C. W. Hoyt. Jane-Um
. M and Gavan. R. Fl W Dunc-l,
W. S. nford. felt, at. I.
Street: and sidewalk—J. Br II V
mom. I). it. Seller-k. M E 59?
Elgarwu-c. n. Dory. 'r. 1. WI.
hfirww—Wm. If. Duncan, 0. E. Duty. by?
h .. .
. Public Misting—D. R. Sellock. W. 8. them
C. W. 1!ch ‘
ant Health—James! lane. R. If. ”vol, 0.
. y. ~
Amtr—C. e. no u. .
NW 3t, It Fitch, 3. a. Day
wk in and Supplies—n. Seymour. 1‘. {Raymond
. . Duncan.
\VIHTE‘R ARRANGEII INT.
COMIENCING Dee. N.
bully Tulle leuve lows! Norm am.
At 3:8. A”. For Darth . Rid fiefl.lnd I
2:33. Rm. unterrnediawutatisga. H
x
6:” l‘. I.
At ":10. ELL. Frvight Train. . _
and tart"
avatmauatbutshc-
3 ,
The tit-35 A. ht. train tvmart‘lp tinila,
hilt-nib on Saturdays“: for
putt: Railroad \
Leave Danbury for South Net-walk.
A! can “A“ “In. r.v.. satisfibtu. f‘..\t. Ala
at use A. I“ on Mondays only. ‘
roux W. ”(308.
_ multitude“.
New York and New Haven R. R
m dam roman;
\t‘l NTElt ARRANGEMENT.
Trains leave Pam Station at South liar-talk
u a
as follow":
Pov- Hevv You.
At :13 it‘ll. Route-tartan.
{.232 r Ami-Mum.
we “ hurl Eutnwntuppiurz of Narnia.
‘ ‘ on ,v. '
'i at “ Accommodation. "
hzt'tl “ Armnirni-datliui
firm “ Expat”.
lzli P. N. Accommodation
2:5? “ Bimini: Eton“.
tit “ room on.
7.15 ' Actstmmodntinn.
firm “ mm E
92th
I”
“ Butch Explore. ,
New York flu- Douala "Of‘llkr
At 7:10. 8:05 tEx..l mm. mm “magi: 1:06 51:.
2.00. «Acmszm. (and (.49. £34) I
(Springfield mil Ex“) 5.”, 5.85. I“ (ha) I
tum (FLA P. 1!. ’
”“ “outflow! tbs- ervv Haven.
At 0:80 A. I. Wolf“.
7:57 “ v “
mo! 0‘ O. CO
93:34 “ Boston ‘E ,
like! “ Accommt at tort.
Boston If: revs
l:.’l~ P. N. Accummt flora.
1:23 " Barton horns.
4:113 ‘ Act-m mutation.
tun “ Boston Ex Mesa.
has “ Area tron.
“:4“ .. i. ..
“1:31: " Boston Express.
“:36 “
mm. man me no.) em. can. etc. ms ’33..) a. 1
12th M. ; lull. .'lt'.x..) 3:40. (81.4 5:3 amass .tlt'
For Bridgeport and way nations. at 2:40 1'. I
See large biilu of Idm of.
Houses and Hotels.
E. )4. Reed. General Sunk. Office. New York.
John T. Moodg. Dh‘leiol: St:
Grand Central epm. New Yo ‘.
wut'rn’s PROPELLntts:
Will continue to make tripe m In:
waland andKeva 3: t ' South
walk to "for" and luv: "53‘?“ a f. rowing
bury and N
Pmduco cold uvtaubfore. height ”at noon! rote—
WAII mmmforbidmwdtbeem
i costs! the
2""ng boatsof tblaliue on account oftho
MILIINERY !
Missnunc.§mith
Would respectfully call the attention of the LI-
dies to her new selection of
MILLINERYIEOODR.
The Latest Novelties in Straw. Felt and Val vet lists
Brunch Flowers. Ostrich and Face Fathers. Birds.
Ribbons. Sitke. \‘i‘lvetu. Lame.
Ornaments, i~tc.. etc. Balms at
C. urau'ruvs Was 8f. near new,
FL AX III LL.
'tdilrtge. Benita
Not-walk Steam Dyeing and Mn;
Establishment. ;
Factory and Office, cast of Home tut. dept!
Dresses and Dress Goods. dictum
Putin-tarmac- paldhucbemaeuflup
wanna-fuel,
byuucwnali-prvvcd “Mk:
mun ..
K x D G L’o v E78,
dandhouoday.hknkmuuud_hnwa'
”Wham”.
R. N. PEER}.
a. ,
31383)
”7 sis-arm ‘
“faunas; WINTER, .
M
g:-
Are You , G
Haul the Maw in
far-rim»
43.3.
m
. ‘m BEST mm mum.
,. , .
Averill Chemical Paint.
fl:
“aw-ganja
my; um. .
I.
senator.“-
fleuf 3a.!
titans at basic“
Joana I. slats-rs.
F’s-ioniaw? '
oii‘tg to Paint?
uumonr’é'rnmgcr
This Bourewfli be hilltop-eddies tu- eff-r.
If. u Wyn-us Woodie "
W’
Maude-M. Oil“ ‘ "
Gentlemen’u Garments )
,t:
.
9. w. 1
n I II on “8' -
-, - ' . ‘ ' "‘ . 7 .; rt,
M;
Traini- leave New Haven for South menu: at '
‘i
the Stuart _
Q
from and delivered at tbef at . '
klfal night putdthu Bus
’47-: '
i
USE . Ouvata. ' - . V. .i .
AVERILL’S ggfiafifi fwfimfi
I . . at J. amlgii m‘,
chemicalPatnt : fl
Norwalk Chronicler