NORVVALK
GAZETTE, WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 6,180’9.
:3.
THE SILENT DEAD.
:What hap dismays the dead? Their couch is low,
,I And over it the summer grasses creep,
v 0r winter arows enshroud it, white and deep,
Or long prevailing winds of autumn blow.
They hear no rumor of our joy or woe—
The ways we tread are perilous and steep;
They climb no longer—free, at last, to sleep—
Our wearit‘ul, vext life no more to know.
Do they forget their loves of long ago,
And the glad hopes that made their glad hearts
leap?
Or the spent joys for which they used to weep,
When Love and Sorrow buffeted them so?
On us, by winds of Fate swept to and fro,
Do they have pity whom no rude windssweep?
How can I tell? Their mystery they keep
Beneath the blossoms, as benmth the snow.
And yet, I think, from that deep rest below,
They would be glad to yise, and love, and weep—-
Once more the thankless harvest field to reap
Of human joy and pain—Life’s Whole to know.
-—Louise Chandler Moultou in Washington Post.
HIS HEIRESS.
Mr. Cuthbert Candytuft left his native
land—which was not desolated by his de-
parture—with the avowed intention of mar-
rying an American heiress.
“Cuth, you see,” his brother explained,
“travels on his shape, and he has a right to
expect to marry money.”
By which remark John Candytuft intended
to express his appreciation of his brother’s
appearance. ‘
John himself, being decidedly plain, had
“gone in for work,” and married a respect-
able girl with red hair and freckles, who
could wash his clothes, cook dinners, and
save pennies.
He was getting on very well when Cuth-
bert arrived upon our shores, and, pending
the discovery of the heiress, accepted a. posi-
tion behind the counter of Glow, Twinkle 85
00., jewelers, dressed in the latest style.
He kept his eye upon the door, and saw in
every well dreSsed female customer his ex-'
pected heiress. IIciresses, however, are apt
"to be already supplied with adorers, and al-
though Cuthbert certainly contrived to have
afew rather doubtful adventures, and was
once kicked down the steps of a Fifth avenue
mansion by the irate parent of a very young
and silly heiress much disposed to flirtation,
he had not yet met with that success which
warranted his worthy brother in entel taining
any hope of a return of the “little loans,” of
which he kept a. strict account in a marble
aper covered bank book, and which were to
e paid after the heiress was fairly captured.
John, however, refused to lose faith in the
power of Cuthbert’s beauty.
“You ought to see the girls look at him,
Sally!” he declared. “And he looks like a
prince or suthin’ in his Sunday rigs. You’d
never think he was related to you and me.”
To which Sally, quite content with her
John, would reply, sententiously:
“Ah, Johnnie, ‘ ’ansome is as
does.) ,3
The little loans had become quite a large
sum, however, before Cuthbert found him-
self in the way of confiding to John that he
was “in luck at last.”
“She ain’t an heiress, after all,” he said;
“but she’s lots better—she’s a widow with
money of her own. She’s got more than she
knows what to do with. She’s come on from
Chicago to spend the winter with her aunt.”
“They do run rich in Chicago,” said John.
“But do you think you’ve caught on, Cuth,
my boy?”
“She lost her ’art to me the minute she
looked at me,” said Cuthbert. “And she’s a.
beauty herself a stunner! None of your
ugly rich ones. You ought to see her, John!”
“Well,” said John, “it’s very satisfactory.
Play your cards well, and don’t go taking
airs ahead of time. \Vhy, even my Sally
wouldn’t put up with any so long as the ring
wasn't on her finger yet. After the wedding,
you know, you can begin to show ’om who’s
onaster, but not before.”
“All right,” said Cuthbert. “I believe I
know what is what as well as any man.”
“There, now, Sally,” said John, after his
brother was gone. “You see I was right.”
“Wait until it turns out 69, Johnnie,” said
Sally. “Your brother is ’andsome, but he’s
a. perfect fool. He’ll make a mess of it if he
can, beauty or no beauty.”
However, all seemed to be going well with
Cuthbert. The beautiful widow had given
him her card, had asked him to call upon
her, and he had called.
him in a small back parlor very plainly fur-
uished.
“My aunt,” she explained, “is not given to
Way. She is, perhaps, too economical;
b
’ansome
she is very old. Of course, while I am
w1 her, I submit; but the contrast between
these surroundings and my own luxurious
home is very great.”
Cuthbert listened to all this with delight.
His manner became more ardent. The aunt
was too much of an invalid, so said her niece,
to leave her room. When he called on the
widow they had the little back parlor to them-
selves.
He was at last w completely fascinated by
the charms of the widow as he was by her,
wealth, and one evening went upon his knees
inthe most approved dramatic manner and
offered himself.
IVhen he arose he was accepted. The lady
left her hand in his, and he sat beside her on
the pudgy horsehair sofa, which was part of
the invalid aunt’s furniture, with his arm
about the waist of his betrothed.
“Only,” said the widow, “only don’t men-
tion it at your establishment. I sha’n’t tell
my aunt I am going to Europe for a month
or two, and when I return you shall have me
assoon as you please.”
“Oh!” gasped Cuthbert, “hangel I”
“Meanwhile,” smiled the Widow, “secrecy!
All the Gilliflowers—my poor dear husband’s
relatives—are furious with me because he
left me his all, and if they could do anything
toseparate us they would, my Cuthbert.”
Of course, her Cuthbert promised to be
silent as the grave. His brother was a safe
confidant, and he did not mention the affair
to old Mr. Glow, young Mr. Twinkle or any
of his fellow clerks.
Meanwhile Mrs. Gilliflower was often to
be seen in that establishment, Where she had
ordered a. beautiful set of diamonds.
“I shall, you know,” she confided to Mr.
Glo’w, “be presented to the queen when I am
in England, and I want to do my country
justice.”
“She’s a splendid woman,” Mr. Glow said,
“and I wish we had forty such customers.”
The day arrived on which the diamonds
were to be delivered. At noontide Mrs. Gilli-
.flower stepped from a carriage and entered
the store. Mr. Candytuft rushed forward to
open the door, Mr. Glow bowed behind the
counter, Mr. Twinkle flew to get the cases in
which the jewels reposed, and Mrs. Gilliflower
seated herself before the counter.
She pronounced the earrings “sweet,” the
necklace “gorgeous,” the bracelets “lovely,”
the pin “perfect,” a buckle that made part
t“elegant,” then she put her hand into the
pocket of her sealskin sack, and uttered a.
shriek.
“What is the matter?” cried the establish-
ment in chorus.
Mrs. Gilliflower appeared as if about to
faint.
“My pocket!” she cried.
my pocket out—the money is gene.
“A thief has cut
I had it
all in cash, foolish creature that I was, just
She had entertained ‘
in my pocket. There was a crowd on the
pavement of my aunt’s house listening to one
of those horrid organs, and I remember that
a man brushed very rudely against me. The
money is gone!”
The establishment was frozen with horror.
Suddenly Mrs. Gilliflower burst inf-o a laugh.
“It isn’t the money; that is nethl tome,”
she said. “I am so dis'rustingly and vulgarly
rich that I am quite ashamed to say I don’t
care for money. It is the wretch having been
so near me.”
' he establisluncl‘lt thawed
again.
"Just let one of your gentlemen—Mr.
Candytuft, for instance—ride home with me
and collect the bill,” the widow added. “I
have quite the sum in the house, and it’s.n0
iucon veniencc. Will you oblige me, Mr.
Canclytuft? I am so pressed for time, and I
shall see you all again often when I return.”
“Mr. Caudytuft, you will go,” said Mr.
Glow.
Mr. Twinkle placed the cases in a larger
box. The other clerks followed the elegant
Cuthbert with envious eyes, and the carriage
rolled away at full speed.
“I am so glad to be alone with you, my
Cuthbert,” said the widow. “I said this very
afternoon we must correspond.”
“I shall be wretched while you are away,
IIangclina,” sighed Cuthbert.
.“So shall I,” sighed the widow.
Cuthbert!”
“Ah, my Ilangelina!” sighed Cuthbert.
“But we shall be ’appy together at last.”
“It will be paradise!” said Angelina. Sud-
denly she uttered a cry. “that an idiot I
am!” said she. “The money for the diamonds
is in my dress pocket. I’ve only lost a hurl—
dred dollars or so—sec,” airl l'l-ozzl maid the
folds of silk she drew a thick cmv‘olope tied
with red tape, sealed with red wax, marked
“Cash for Messrs. Glow é‘c Twinkle.”
“There,” she said, “take it Cuthbert; carry
it back to them, and then come on board the
Queen Victoria and see me off. I shall only
bid aunty good-by and ride straight to the
steamer. You know where she lies—pier
Don’t disappoint me.”
“I’ll be there. This is my lunch hour, and
I have a right to it.” said Mr. Candytuft.
“Good-by until I see you, my I-langelina.”
and beamed
“All, my
.
, world.
“Adieu, dear, dear Cuthbert,” sighed the ‘
lady.
The carriage stopped. Mr. Candytuft flew
down the avenue at full speed, and shortly
rushed into Glow 6.: Twinkle’s establishment
with his hat on the back of his head and his
face crimson.
“There,” he said, irreverently addressing '
Glow without preface, “there’s the
Hau———I mean Mrs. Gilliflower—had
My lunch
Mr.
money.
it all the while in another pocket.
time—I’m going out!”
Away he flew.—
“Has that young man lost his senses?”
asked Mr. Glow of Mr. Twinkle.
“Has he brought the money safe 3” inquired
Mr. Twinkle.
“Seems to be here,” said the old gentle-
man, putting on his spectacles. “Let’s count
it,” and he cut the thick envelope.
Meanwhile Mr. Candytuft had reached the.
nearest station of the elevated road, entered
a car, and finally reached the pier where the
Queen Victoria lay, and was making his way
toward her at full speed, when a hand was
placed upon his shoulder, and he looked up
into the face of a large policeman—one he
knew well and who had frequently exchanged
salutations with him at thcdoor of the store. .
“Stop, young man!” said this official.
“Stop right here, If you don’t want worse .
trouble!”
“Stop?” cried Cuthbert, “I can’t stop. oili-
cer; I want to go on board the Queen Victo-
ria.”
“Sometimes,” replied the guardian of the
peace—“sometimes, Mr. Candytuft,
can’t do exactly what they want to.
one of those times. Come along quietly.”
They entered the car again. Their desti-
nation was the polico station nearest to Glow
(is Twinkle’s place of business, and there he
folks .
This is .
found the partners awaiting him in company
with the youngest clerk.
“Caught him going on board an ocean
steamer,” reported the policeman.
“And what ’ave I done that I should be re-
strained of my liberty in this free country?"
cried Cuthbert.
“It was a very shallow trick, young man,”
said Mr. Glow.
kle.
imagine.
HAIL THE COMING RACE.
TO THE WESTERN WORLD THE WAVE
OF PEOPLES TAKES ITS WAY.
Justification for the Boast That English
Speaking Peoples W'ill Rule the \VOI‘1(1
in the Twenty-first Century—Calcula-
tions on Population’s Increases.
t was recently. contended in The Contem—
porary Review that, if the papacy Were wise,
the next pope would think in English. “’6
are constantly reminded by the same writer
that the center of gravity of our planet has
shifted, and that the Mediterranean is fast
becoming an idle inland sea locked in a de-
caying continent. It has played its part in
the past of humanity, but the part is over
and done. The seat of empire is again fol-
lowing the suu, as it has always done, and is
once more drifting into the west.
W'e are constantly told that Europe is
dwindling and becoming of little account,
and that the mastery of the world will rest
with the peoples from whose lips fall the
large music of our English speech. The Old
World quarrels, the frontier feuds of Europe,
the strife and rivalries of Teuton and Gaul,
will endure for yet a little longer, but they
are always of fading consequence for the
The French and the German armies
may watch one another across the Rhine,
and the (7.25: ack may still dream of watering
his horse beneath the shadow of St. Sophia,
but these poor ambitions and hatrcds will
mean as little for the future of mankind as
did the quarrels of the greens and the blues
in the (lying days of the lower empire. The
map of Europe may be changed and re-
changed, and its peoples may conquer and be
conquered, but ~they and the very tongues
they speak shall fail and fade entirely, until
French and Slav and German, except for
their literatures, shall become forgotten dia-
lects like \Vclsh or Irish, the picturesque sur—
vivals of an Old lVorld tribalism.
unenxr INCREASES. ,
At the present hour the peoples of the
United Kingdom and the United States rep‘
resent about one-fifteenth of humapifv, and
govern one-third of the planet and o.“.'lourth
of its inhabitants. In the beginning of the
Eighteenth century this race numbered less
than 6,000,000 souls; at the beginning of the
Nineteenth century that they increased to
20,500,000; at the present time they are about
100,000,000. In the space of eighty years the
English speaking peoples multiplied five
times over, and it is confidently reckoned that
within another hundred years they will have
outnumbered all the other civilized peoples
put together. M. Kummer, the chief of the
Federal bureau of statistics in Switzerland,
has reckoned that the total population of
Europe in the year 2,000 will be 583,000,000,
while Dr. Strong, of New York, reckons that
in 1980 the population of Europe will be
534,000,000. No complete statistics showing
the average increase all over Europe are
available for the early decades of the century,
but the average increase of the continent for
the ten years from 1870 to 1880 was 6. 80.
If, however, we were to apply the same
test to the English peoples and suppose them
to multiply for another hundred years as they
did from 1870 to 1880, they would reach the
enormous total of 1,843,000,000. It would be
unreasonable, however, to suppose that the
ratio of increase will continue so long. Dr
Strong bases his calculations in this way: In
Great Britain the ratio of increase from 1840
to 1850 was 2.49 per cent.; during the next
ten years it was 5.44; the next ten years it
was 8.00, and from 1870 to 1880 it was 10.57
per cent. So we see the ratio of increase
steadily rising for forty years, and there is no
apparent reason why it should not continue
to rise. But as he is dealing with so long a
period of time as a hundred years, Dr. Strong
prefers to suppose that the average ratio of
increase for the century will be only one-half
what it has been during the last decade, and
so puts the probable population of Great Brit-
ain in 1950 at 57,000,000.
On the other hand the Swiss statistician
fixes it for 2,000 at 142,000,000. Accepting,
however, the American estimate, let as con-
sider the other branches of the English
speaking people. The Australian rate of in-
? {1 - th * a ‘ " 1 c
“A very shallow one,” echoed Mr. Twin- ; crease .n e ten ye Is flom 18l0 to 880wa.
“Why you came back at all I can’t :
Did you suppose that we would ‘
put that envelope of brown paper into the .
safe without examining it?”
“An envelope of brown paper!” gasped i
Cuthbert.
“I gave you the envelope Mrs. J
Gilliflower gave to me—and, if you must ‘
know, I was in a. hurry because I wanted to
see her off. She and I, I’d have you know,
are engaged to be married; naturally, as she
sails today, I wanted to say good—bye.”
“We must search you,” said the ofllcer,
and Cuthbert submitted to the operation.
Nothing was found upon him but a. trade
dollar, a nail brush, and a little looking-
glass. Finally, when it was discovered that
Illrs. Gillh’lmvcr had left the cab, taking her
parcels with her, shortly after parting from
Cuthbert, and that she was not to sail on the
“Queen Victoria,” suspicion turned in an-
other direction aud the alleged aunt was in-
terviewed. Her testimony was to the effect
that a Mrs. Gilliflower had boarded with her.
“She had the back parlor with a folding
bed,” she said; “but I never saw her before
she came here, and I never want to see her
again. I’m no slander monger, but no more
Mrs. Gilliflower for me!” and finally Mr.‘
Twinkle, as spokesman for‘the firm, addressed
the wretched Mr. Candytuft in these terms:
““70 are convinced of your honesty. We
withdraw our charge; but we can’t have
such a complete idiot in our establish-
ment—especially as it would take you forty-
one years and six menths to repay our loss in
Weekly deductions from your present salary.
We must part.”
They did.
Glow &; Twinkle have not yet found the
whereabouts of Mrs. Gilliflower, and Mr.
Candytuft is looking for another situation as
well as for an heiress.
Sally says, “I told you sol” but brother
John, faithful to the last, still believes that
“Cuth will get there yet,” and who knows
but he may—Mary Kyle Dallas in Fireside
Companion.
A Well Classified Library.
A man—who, although not pretending to
be one of the wise, nevertheless knows so
much that it makes him tired to remember
half of it—is labeling his library in sections.
On one shelf he has dictionaries, encyclope-
dias and. such like. cheery tomes; on the next
above, histories of wars and stories of battle;
on the next, ancient histories; on the next, ora-
tions and speeches of eminent statesmen and
ministers; next, poetry, and, above all,
works on political economy, etc. So he
labels these shelves consecutively, “Lore,”
“Gore,” “Yore,” “Roar,” “Soar” and
“Snore.”-—London Tid Bits.
A Contemptible Fraud.
Three burglars worked all night on a. safe
in an ofiice, and when they finally got it open
they found six post cards - and five postage
stamps to reward them. The only revenge
they could take was to stick the stamps on
the wall and write on one of the cards: “A
teller who keeps a big safe without anything
in it is a fraud.”——London Exchange.
56.50 per cent; that of South Africa, 73.28.
But suppose that Canada, Australia and
South Africa double their population once
every twenty-five years—the United States
has done that since HESS—then the English
population of the British colonies in 1080
will be 176,000,000. For the United States
very complete and satisfactory statistics are
available from the beginning of the century.
The ratio of increase varied during the doc-
ades from 1800 to 1880 from 36 to 30 per
cent.
noon IN THE UNITED STATES.
With these figures before him, Dr. Stron --
M. Kummer confineshis investigation to u-
rope—proposes to leave out of account all
future immigration, and to confine himself
to the increase of births over deaths, leaving
immigration as a set off against any possible
check upon growth. Calculated upon this
strictly moderate basis, the population of the
United States stands for 1930 at 480,000,000.
The total Anglo-Saxon population of the
world would then be 713,000,000, as compared
with 534,000,000 of Continental Europe. And
it must be remembered that these figures
' show the largest probable population of Eu-
rope and the smallest probable numbers of
the English speaking race.
In face of these tremendous figures it is
well to be reminded that if the whole of the
English speaking population of the world—-
multiplied as they are likely to be at the end
of another century—were to be planted down
in the territory of the United States, and
then doubled, the people would still not be so
thick upon the ground as they are today in
Belgium.
While in France the population is 180 to
the square mile, in Germany 216, in England
and Wales 428, in Belgium 481, in the United
States, exclusive of “Alaska, the population is
only 16 per square mile. Indeed, the 50,000,-
000 of the United States in 1880 might be put
into Texas, and yet the population would not
be as dense as in Germany. Put the whole
present population of the United States into
Dakota, and the people would be less crowd-
ed than today in England and Wales. Our
share of the earth’s surface, therefore, seems
an ample inheritance even for the over-
whelming increase of the future. It is of
more immediate consequence to inquire
whether this people, scattered over so many
climes and so many lands, but bound by a
common speech and common memories and.
common laws, will remain in any real sense
a homogeneous race. The whole tendency of
civilization seems to point to an answer in the
affirmative—London Tablet.
Loading Up.
A traveler, who inquired his way to the
court house of a citizen in a. remote New
England town, received the following odd
advice:
“Wal, stranger, you go right straight
ahead till you come to a large oak tree. You
take that ar tree on your right shoulder, and
go on till you come to the brick school house;
then take the brick school house on your left
shoulder, and keep straight on till you come
to Squire Wingate’s; un’ then you take the
squire’s house on your back, an’ you can’t
miss it. nohow.”—Youths’ Companion.
CONJURY IN THE KITCHEN.
How Some Restaurants Impose Upon the
Principles of Economy.
W'ashingtonians who are in the habit of
drawing their ideas of economy from long
theoretical dissertations on that subject, or'
attempting with wizzard like adroituess to
attain astonishing results in cooking from the
manifold intricaciesof a French chef’s reini—
nisccnces. can iir l some striking bits of infor-
mation from a bird’s eye view of the kitchen
of a bustling Washington restaurant when
the city is filled with visitors. Indeed. there
is a good deal to learn when “all is quiet
along the Potomac,” and the capital city is
slowly moving on in the even tenor of its
way. Take a seat at one of the sli ppcr y mar-
ble top tables, call for and cast an eye over
the inspiring bill of fare placed on the cold,
business like slab before you.
Iicre you see four or five kinds of soup done
up in the purest and most stylish French an-
nouncement: “I’otage a la puree dc pommes
de terre,” “pot.1ge au riz,” “potage aux con—
somme aux mills poches,” etc.., etc. There
are also on the list many kinds of fish, half a
dozen assorted roasts, all kinds of vegetables
known to agricultural science, any number
of made dishes, pics, puddings and pastries to
suit any fastidious palate.
Looking over the bill of fare with the wait-
er building attitudinally with a patronizing
hauteur over your shoulder, one hand on the
table, the other on the back of the chair, one,
who did not know, would imagine that to
prepare and keep this immense list of cata-
bles, or the materials subject to order, would
require an extensive range, numerous cooks
of high and low degree, plenty of room and
space, and as much crockery as may be found
in aiiy one of our leading queensware estab-
lishments.
It is perfectly natural and excusable, there-
fore, to be surprised when this delusion is
dispelled and the cold fact laid bare that the
entire culinary department is usually no
larger, if not much smaller, than many of
the kitchens of small families in \Vashing—
ton, and that generally one cook, with an
alleged dish washer or two, comprises the
entire catering outfit.
Peep through the opening made by a bro-
ken slat in the swinging door or the slit
punched in the time honored screen, which
are used for concealing the inner workings
from the outer world. Here comes a waiter
fig ting and scrambling through of his kind,
yelling out: “One vegetable soup.” See the
Japanese jugglerof edibles deftly slide the
lid from a large boiler of clear soup made
from the bones and scraps of beef, mutton,
chicken, veal, etc. Whether these bones
have been picked once by the customer at
the tables in front or not is a. question no one
should insist upon being answered. This is a
time when one must have a large bank ac-
count of blind faith to draw upon. Out of
this boiler the chef secures the desired amount
of clear soup and into it he pops in quick
succession a little dab from each pot of a
row of boiled vegetables. He gives this a
vigorous stir, and presto! pours into the
plate your vegetable sou .
Is it consomme you wish. If so, he pours
into this clear stock some brown thickening
fluid and there you are. If macaroni, a. pot
of boiled macaroni is at hand, and he forks a
few strings into the same clear stock. A big
tin can of condensed ox tail soup stands on a
handy shelf and a spoonful of this lends its
flavor if that kind is wanted. A little thick-
ening and a kidney from another pot makes
a kidney stew in short order. A good deal
of rice, some thickening and a handful of
curry powder and you have your curry.
And so on.
See him wield that magic wand, which
looks so much like the carving knil'e we all
use at hcnne. Roast lamb and roast mutton
come from the same joint at its touch, or by
the aid of a peculiar sauce and some jelly a
slice of vension will lay before you. Veal is
veal, or it is chicken for salad, turkey for
fricassc, or rabbit for stew, or i s lamb for
pic, just as he desires and the order demands.
As for the matter of desserts the plum pud-
ding and fruit cake are the same, except one
is served hot with sauce and the other is cold.
The boiled rice used for the curry or rice soup
with milk, sugar and a little nutmeg becomes
rice pudding instantly. Tapioca and sage
come out of the same dish for furnishing all
the improved concoction: of those two pala-
table articles.
Thus he goes ahead with cunning ingenuity,
never at a. loss to furnish promptly any dish
on the bill of fare, no matter whether there is
a particle of the desired article in store or not.
There is one thing, however, among a. few
others, and a few only, which defies his crafti-
nees, and that is the boiled egg. When “I
boiled” is called for, a. boiled egg, pure and
simple, is the only thing that will answer.
No leftover-from-Easter, China or painted
wooden substitute can fill the bill. But then
the yolk of an egg can impart to his greasy
looking white butter 5 beautiful golden hue
and enter into other magical combination
with him which go a great way toward ex-
tenuating its refusal to be imitated ina. boild
capacity. —lVashington Star.
We recommend Carter’s Iron Pills to
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discouraged ; particularly those who have
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who are without strength or ambition.
These are the cases for which Carter’s
Iron Pills are specially prepared. and this
class cannot use them without benefit.
Valuable for men also. In metal boxes,
at 50 cents. Sold by druggists or sent by
mail. See advertisement elsewhere.
Editor—I cannot think and use the
type-writer at the same time.
Riva! Editor—Then you find the type-
writer no better than thc pen.
If sick headache is misery, what are
Carter’s Little Liver Pills if they will pos—
itively cure it? People who have used
them Speak frankly of their worth. They
are small and easy to take.
She—And will you always love me ?
All the live-long day ?
He—Ye-e-s, I think so. You’ll give
me a chance to stop for meals, I suppose ?
Have you a Pittsburgh,
Rochester, Duplex, or a Stu-
dent Lamp? “
Do they work satisfactorily?
Do your Lamp Chimneys
break 2
You get the wrong sort!
The RIGHT ones are the
“PEARL GLASS,” made by
Geo. A. Macbeth & Co., Pitts-
burgh, makers of the cele-
brated “Pearl-top”@ lamp-
chimney, which have
given universal satisfaction.
“Conundrum ! Guess it- if you can,
And tell me, John, the answer—-
Wherein a clumsy printer man
Is like an honest lancer ‘3”
“I have it, Jane.” "You haven’t though?”
.“I’d make a dozen bets—~
Onc of them sets the forms, you know,
The other forms the sets 1”
“Sharp answer, dear ; but not the one
Wrought by my mental caper.—
One of them pays the piper, John,
The other pics the paper I”
Lives of grocery men remind us
They can make their slarch half lime,
And with sugar wholly blind us,
Putting sand in all the time.
Then let them be up and doing
Packages from date to date,
’I'llcir vocation still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to \W'lLZ‘Il it.
A Great Surprise-
Is in store for all who use Kemp’s Bal-
sam for the throat and lungs, the great
guaranteed remedy. Would you believe
that, it is sold on its merits. and that ally
druggist is authorizul by the pl‘oprictorof
this wonderful remedy to give you a sam—
ple bottle free? It never fails to cure
acute. or chronic Coughs. All druggisls
sell Kemp’s Balsam. Large bottles 500..
and $1.
Oh, to sit by the stove with
A maiden lrim and neat!
. Marriage may be a. failure
But courtship’s hours are sweet!
—- [Boston Courier.
The average number of hairs upon the
human I] *ad is only 120,000. The Amer-
ican wife will please bear this in mind
when taking a large generous ban In]
from the head of palerfmnilias. There is
a limit to all good things.
Tile best medical writers claim that the
successful remedy for nasal catal'rll must
be non—irritating, easy of application, and
one that will reach all the remote sores
and ulcerratcd surfaces The histmy of
the efforts to treat catarrh during the past
obliges us to admit that only one remedy
has met. these conditions, and that is Ely’s
Cream Bulm. This pleasant remedy has
mastered catarrh as nothing else has ever
done, and both physicians and patients
freely concede this fact. The more (lis-
trcssing symptoms yield to it.
There are no less than 857 different
termsin the English language which car-
press the state of being in love, and the
sweet young authoress of the glowing,
seeicty novel utilizes them all.
The path of duty—Through the custom
house.
See what the well-known manager of
excursions to Washington, California, and
the White Mountains, I A. Whitcomb,
says: I have never had anything do me
so much good as your Sulphur Bitters.
It is the best springamedicine I ever used.
I would advise all who suffer from llihous-
ness and dyspepsia to use Sulphur Bitters,
for I know they cured me.
Johnkin—l hear you belong to an acci-
dent insurance society ?
Tomkin—Yes, I joined over six months
ago. and duce take it, I havn’t got hurt
yet.
Fare yet fowl—A broiled chicken.
BE Younllwu Dooror..—It won't cost
you one—half as much. Do not delay.
Send three 2-ceut stamps for postage, and
we will send you Dr. Kaufmann’s’ great
work, fine colored plates from life, ow
disease, its causes an" “me cmc. Ad-
drcss A. P. OI‘dW 5 U1 Cn., Boston, Mass.
When mustard plaster sets up in bus-
iness it venerally has the drawmg room
‘ years’ standing have been cured.
A few months ago I commenced to use F. F l“,
Nos. land :2 for baldness on the crown of my
head. The spot. is all hall-cl! chr. and looks as
pooilas the rest of my head. lam very much
pleased, and would highly recommend it to ally
one who is bald or wants thicker hair.
11‘. 1;. CI mic MAN. Engineer, 18 Park Row.
\P <‘,
1‘90“" , “o5”-
«99 '6 M: $ 5"
“is." . 9v»
\ x9 , \o <99
Fechter’s Famous {5.2 filleitil’nl‘lllm
F a IRICON Doesnotcontainang
——
poisonous inaredz‘.
cents or 8tdfn..£ll
It will surely bring about anew growth ofhair imleg
the roots are entirely dried up, which occurs in not
more than five cases out of a. hundred. Cases of 20
If this is
s I gooo R EWARD U-NTRUE‘:
FAIRICON Nos. 1 and a, price $11. per bottle is for
heads entirely or partially bald. No. 8. price 75 cents
per bottle is invaluable as a. HAIR DRESSER. It my
renew the growth of hair that is falling out, keep it
smooth and glossy and remove all dandruff. . Special
course of treatment £10. Correspondence solicited.
F. F. F. is for sale by all druggists orwill be sent by
us on receipt of price. Send for history of the remedy
and genuine testimonials from those who have used it.
Out this out and send to some bald-headed friend.
FECHTER REMEDY 00., NEW HAVEN, CT.
the Fail-Icon Tar Soap for Toilet, Beth and Nursery.
[t is Peerless for the Complexion, Chnpped Hands or Rough skip.
.. Ladies in delicate
health, who are all
.in down, should use
ULrnUR Blr'mns.
$1,000 will be aid
or acasewhere UL-
I'HUR Brrrnns will
not assist or cure. It ,
_ never fails.
Operatives whoar .. . .
. closely confined - Cleanse the vitiatcd .-
Ithe mills and work- dood when you see x
shops; .Clerks, wh its impurities burst-
do not procure suf- ng through the skin
nclent exercise, and Pimplcs,Blotches,
all whoare conflneo ~= d Sores. Rely on
in doors, should us- Brrmns,
. BITTERS. .nd health W111 fol-
They Will not the low.
.be weak and sickly. - .
{Summon erms
General Debili - 1 euro Liver Coni- .
needs a. gentle tonic .
_
' . The Giant Dyspep-
, I sin is cured bynsin-
‘ SULPHUR Brrrnns.
SULPHUR B
Don’tbe without . ~ ill build youup an
bottle. Try it; yo nakeyou strongand
willnot regret it. ' -ealthy. -
._ Sulphur Bitters.
. 7 "I
Send two 3c. stamps to A. P. 0rdway&1Co...
Lawrence, Mass, and receive anelegant set of
Fanchardsfi'ee.
BUX’I‘DN .
BRUNDAGE.
Prompt attention given to orders for
LIGHT TR UCKING
To any part of the Town.
all to itself.
Orders left at S. K- Stanley’s or Post Office.
is Makes You Hungry
“ l have used Paine‘s Celery Compound and it i
' has had a salulary
effect. It invlgorat-
ed the system and I
.. feel like a new I
SI)" man. It improves ,
the appetite and
.1 .4.“ facilitates dlgcs- i
\ lion.” J. ’i‘. (Jorn- ‘
LAND, Prlmus. S. (.3.
Salaries
Spring medicine means more now-ardays than it
did ten years ago. The wintcrot 1838-89 hasleft
the nerves all jagged out. The nerves must be
strengthened, the blood purified, liver and
bowels regulated. Palne‘s Celery Compound-
the Hpri My medicine of today—docs all this.
as nothing else can. Prescribed by Physicians,
Recmn mended by Liruggista, Endorsed by .lli'm‘alters,
Gaun-untecd by tho Manufacturers to ha
The
Celei'yggmpound 1 Spring Medicine.
is a unique tonic and appetizer. Pleasant in
the taste, quick in its action, and without any
injurious effect, it gives that rugged health
which makes everything taste good. It cures
dyspepsia and kindred disorders. Physicians
prescribe it. $1.00. Six for $5.00. Drugglsts.
“In the spring of 193? I was all run down. I
would get up in the morning with so tired a
fcrling, and was so wen k that I could hardly gm;
| around. I boughta bottle of Painc’s Celery (foul—
5 pound. and before I had taken it a week 1 lel’.
very nturh better. I can cheelnlly recommend
it to all who need a building up and strengthe. -
WELLS. RICHARDSON & 00., Burlington. Vt;
ammo/m ms 11.1.. ....1..-._, 1.11 ..1..
Never Fail! Always sure!
ing medicine.” Mrs. B.A. Dow, Burlington. Vt.
' b' - 1 .
1m TA TED r000 assassins?
BRIGGS’
HEADACHE
-:-TBOCHES
—————FOR-—-—
SICK HEADACHE,
——-—-IN
Nervous, Billions 0
—<<>
ITS——
r Congestive Forms.
This Remedy is the Prescription of one of the leading Physicians of Paris
France,and was used by him with unparalleled success for over thirty years,
and was first given to the Public as a Proprietary Medicine in 1878, and
since that time it has found its way into almost every country on the face
of the Globe, and become a favorite
physicians.
annual conventions,
remedy withfihousands of the leading
Medical societies have discussed its marvelous success at their
and after their official chemist ”have analyzed it and
found that it. contained no opiates, bromides, or other harmful ingredients
quietly placed it among their standard remedies.
..__—
TESTIMONIAL-
This is to certify that I have used for s
nation of remedies, for Headache, known as Briggs’
are headaches, especially such as eflect Ne
with, and if this certificate will be the means of bri
sufferers from that trouble, I shall feel that I have
L. R. BROWN, M. D., )
23 West Jersey St.. 7
ELIZABETH, N. J ., June 28th, 1889. )
ome months with much satisfaction, the combi
Headache Troches. The remedy cure
rvons Women than anything I am acquainte‘
nging it to the favorable attention 0
done them a servxce. 4
L. R. BROWN, M. D
PRICE. 25 CENTS-
SOLD BY H. R. HAL
E, NORWALK. CONN.
BRIGGS’ MEDICINE GOMPANY
ELIZABETH, N. .1.
Norwalk Chronicler