THE UNKNOWN FACE.’
Across the miles that stretch between.
Through days of gloom or glad sunlight.
There shines a face I have not seen,
Which yet doth make my world more bright.
He may be near. he maybe far,
0r near or far I cannot see,
But faithful as the morning star,
He yet shall rise and come to me.
What though fate leads us separate ways,
The world is round and time is fleet.
A journey of a few brief days
And face to face we two shall meet.
Shall meet beneath God‘s arching skies,
While suns shall blaze. or stars shall gleam,
And, looking in each other’s eyes.
Shall hold the past as but a dream.
But round and perfect and complete.
Life like a. star shall climb the height
As we two press with willing feet
Together toward the infinite.
And still behind the space between.
As back of dawns the sufieams play.
There shines the face I have not seen.
Whose smile shall wake my world today.
MARRIED BY MISTAKE.
Horace Grant's play had been accepted,
and was to be acted in public the following
Monday night. .
The play was “a go.” The critics ap-
plauded heartily and forebore to make sug-
gestions for the improvement of drama or
performance; the manager assured Horace
they should both be rich in no time; the mem-
bers of the company, always the frankest
and severest critics, were all satisfied with
their parts. Horace was the lion of the hour. ,
An impromptu banquet was set forth on
the stage, and under the reassuring influence
of the first glass of champagne, Horace soon
forgot the strangeness of his surroundings.
Ho acted very foolishly. as he realized after-
ward, but the others were indulgent to the
brilliant playwright of 25. They applauded
his sentiments, laughed at his jests and made
much of him generally.
In the company were four ladies and four
gentlemen. The only members of the cast,
however, who interested the young author
was the juvenile lady, Miss Fern Merrick,
who had taken the role of a bride. She was
a brunette, and the bridal costume which she
still were became her admirably. It seemed
to the creator of the character that she was
the ideal which was in his mind when he
wrote it. As the feast progressed he became
more and more lively; his spirits seemed to
effervesce like the wine. In one of his flights
of folly he noticed that Miss Merrick looked
grieved. 'That she was interested enough in
him to be sorry sent such a glow to his heart
as to drive all the folly from his mind, and
straightway his deportment mended: seeing
which the young lady rewarded him with a
smile, and seeing what pleasure this gave
him, with a blush.
In a pause in the conversation Miss Mer-
rick said with much earnestness: _
“Mr. Grant, I have one fault to find With
your play.”
“Indeed? What is that?”
“You should not end it so abruptly; there
should be a wedding. Weddings always
make a hit. Instead of the curtain just when
I’m ready for the altar, it should not fall till
I’m ready for congratulations.”
“But, Miss Merrick, how did I know Mr.
Inna would find so fair a. bride? Now that I
have seen you, I shall add some more lines
and introduce the wedding,” said the young
man, gallantly.
“Oh, will you?” and the young lady clapped
her hands to hide her confusion. “Do make
up the lines now, and let’s have the rehear-
sal!” And she sprang to her feet.
But the actor who took the role of the
groom had gone home to his sick wife.
“I’ll take his place,” said Horace; “won’t I
do?”
The bride eyed him with the air of an art
connoisseur examining a new painting.
“Yes, you will do,” she said at last.
“But we haven’t any preacher in the cast,”
objected Lane, “and I shall not enlarge it.”
“I’ll be the preacher,” said one of the critics,
Mr. Roman, of The Times.
Then, with mock gravity, the marriage
scene was enacted, Horace promising to love,
honor and cherish his wife and obey his
mother-in-law until a. divorce court should
them part, and Miss Merrick to love and
govern her husband and go through his pock-
ets nightly, so long as they both should see it
fit.
And,with all the formality possible, Roman
declared:
“By virtue of the power in me vested in
pursuance of the statutes in such cases made
and provided, I pronounce you man and wife,
and may the evil'one take the first who comes
between you!” And he parted their clasped
hands and walked through amid a chorus of
“Chestnuts!”
Horace repented before the burlesque was
well under way, but he saw no way out of it.
After it was over Fern said as she bade him
good night:
“If I had known it would have resulted in .
such profanation I would have never proposed
that wedding scene.”
“Oh, well,” said Horace, laughing, “we will
not put it in the play.”
Horace was not used to champagne, and it
was later than he had counted on when he
called on the manager the next morning to
sign the contract for the production of his
in .
p T317113 manager’s lawyer was there with the
papers properly prepared, and the formality
was quickly finished. Then Horace picked
up a morning paper and glanwd over it casu-
ally. There was a flattering notice of his
play, based on the rehearsal. Just below he
saw the line: “A Journalist In Luck.” The
name of Roman, the critic, caught his eye,
and he read the paragraph:
“At its regular meeting yesterday the
county board elected Mr. George Roman,
dramatic editor of The Times, 0. justice of the
peace, to fill the vacancy existing in Ten Mile
township. This is a good plum for George,
as it will not interfere with his journalistic
duties, and he will be sure to become popular
immediately among couples seeking connubial
bliss.”
Horace thought of the marriage ceremony
performed the night before, but it did not
cause a smile.
“I see Roman. of The Times, has been made
a justice of the peace,” be said to Lane. “Isn’t
that an odd idea I”
“Oh, no; the boys on the press like the
position. I suppose Roman was practicing
one branch of the business last night. ” And
Lane laughed. “A ceremony like that in
earnest would produce a sensation.”
“When did it happen?” asked the attorney,
for want of something else to say.
“At the meeting of the county board yes-
terday,” Horace informed him.
The manager leaped to his feet and eyed
Horace in consternation. “Great heavens,
young fellow,” he exclaim , “you are mar-
ried fast enough! He was a justice when he
performed that ceremony. ”
“Nonsense! What if he was? It is no such
thing !” Horace spoke much more positively
than he felt.
“I hope not, my dear sir; but Gregg. here,
can tell us,” said Lane, turning to the law--
'er.
3 “What is it?” the latter asked.
“What constitutes a marriage in this
state?” _
“It is only necesary for a minister or a jus-
tice to pronounce the couple man and wife in
the presence of witnesses.”
The manager uttered a melodramatic
groan.
“But,” Horace remonstrated “there was no
intention! It was a silly farce l”
“The law can only judge of intentions by
actions,” said Gregg gravely, “and the courts
do not recognize jests. Half the litigation in
the world is farcical—to all but the litigants."
Horace related the occurrence on the stage
the night before.
“You are undoubtedly married,” said
Gregg.
“Is that your honest opinion as an utter-
hey?”
“That is my sober judgment. The law is
clear. Miss Merrick is unquestionably your
wife.”
Horace leaned his head on his hands deject-
odly. What can I. do? How can I ever tell
her?" he moaned presently. “She will think
it was a deliberate fraud."
“No danger of that,” the manager reas-
sured him; “she proposed the thing herself.”
“But how can I ever tell her?”
“You will have to get a divorce,” said
Gregg, ccoi! “I’ll manage that for you
without pn ”, if you say so. "
“But we :3 let her know, and I couldn’t
face her. ”
Tho manager, witnessing his distress, volun-
teered to break it to Miss Merrick, and left
at once to do so. The lawyer also took him-
self off. leaving his card. For the next hour
Horacc‘s state of mind was anything but on-
viable. Thou Lane reappeared. He looked
troublcd.
“Yv'cll?” said Horace, inquiringly.
“Miss Merrick takes it harder than you do.”
“Of course she does. How could it be other.
wise? Tr'ere it not for her I would not care.”
“She fcarcd you might think she acted
knowingly last night.”
“How could the? You assured her I had
no such suspicion?”
“Of course. Even Roman did not know of
his appointment. I met him just now and he
was as much brokcn up over it when I told
him as you are.”
Horace sat down with an air of despair.
“But that doesn’t mend matters.”
“True enough. I thought a consultation
accessing", and so I asked her to call at
Gregg’s office at 10 to-morrow."
The hours till 10 the ncxt day Horace
thought would ncvcr pass. I-Ie slept not at
all that night, ate little, and promptly at the
time set was at the lawyer’s ofiice, looking
haggard and feeling miserable. When he
entered he thought the office was empty, but
:15 be advanced into the room he saw Miss
Merrick sitting ‘in a corner, where _a high
desk had concealed her.
“I beg pardon,” the youth stammercd in V
answer to her faint “good morning"—I
thought LanesndGPEgg’L —
' MINSTRELS
- further.
Then he noticed that Fern had been crying.
Her pale, tear-stained cheeks smote his heart.
“I hope you do not blame me for this—this
trouble," he said, ofiering her his hand.
She arose and extended hers. “No,” she
said tremulously, as if about to cry again;
“certainly no“ It is all my own foolish
fault.”
“The blame is as much mine," Homes
averred stoutly. “I should not have entered
into the suggestion."
“But if I had not made it, you could not
have seconded it.”
He sighed and released her hand.
“It seems very strange”—afteran awkward
pause he broke the silence—“that we could be
married in earnest when you had no idea of
my becoming your husband.”
"And you did not want me for your wife
at all," she added.
“If it only had been anybody else!” be ex-
claimed. .
The girl broke into sobs.
“Mr. Grant, I do not deserve that 1” she
cried. brokenly. ,
“But you misunderstood me; indeed you
did i” he declared, earnestly. “I did not mean
that, not that I wished it had been any other
lady! How can you think sol I meant if it
had only been somebody else in my place.”
This did not better the matter, he saw at
once. “Some one you would—would not ob-
ject to; some one you could—forgive, you
know," he added. his distrem increasing as
the girl’s passionate weeping showed no case
sation.
“Don't you understand me! Please don't
take on so!” and he fell on his knees and ms
sessed himself of her hand.
“I”'(sob) “could for—”(aob)—“give you.” she
answered.
“Do you! Can you! Will your'he cried, '
eagerly.
But just then Mr. Gregg and Mr. Lane on-
tered. The former announced that his part-
ner fully agreed with him; there was only
one way out of the dilemma—the young
couple must get a divorce.
“Now,” said Lane, “which of you will make
the application?"
“Which would you advise?” Horace asked
Gregg.
“As the representative of both parties I
must be frank with you—if I were one of you
I would want to make it.”
“Then you make it."
- “Then you do it."
Horace and Fern spoke in a breath. Her-
ace had his way, and it was decided that
Mrs. Grant—as Gregg insisted on calling
Form much to the embarramment of both
the young people—should be the petitioner.
When this agreement was arrived at Horace
withdrew.
Then said Mr. Gregg: “Now, on what
grounds shall I base the petition?”
“I don’t understand you," said the lady.
“What reason shall I state for wanting the
divorce?"
“Why, we never meant to be married.”
“But, my dear young lady, that wouldn’t
stand in court for a second. You must al-
lege some legal grounds for a divorce.”
“But what can I allege?"
“Cruelty,” suggested Gregg.
“Never! That would be adding insult to
injury."
“Desertion, then.”
“That is as bad. How could he desert me
when I have no claims on him?”
“But, legally, my dear madam, you have.”
“It won’t do.”
“Those are the honorable things you can
allege as grounds for a divorce.”
, “If I must accuse a man who has been the
soul of honor of some infamy, then I won’t
be the petitioner 1"
She was firm in this refusal, and departed
in virtuous wrath. .
Then Gregg and Lane sent for Horace
again, and explained the situation.
“You must be the petitioner yourself," said
Lane.
“Not if I must slander as pure a woman as
ever lived—never!" -
“Then what will you do?”
“I will go and see her; she must- do it. ”
Ushercd into the parlor of Miss Merrick’s
boarding house, the young man stated his
errand abruptly:
“Miss Merrick, you must make that peti-
tion.”
“But I shall have to accuse you of some-
thing base.”
“That does not matter; you must do it. ”
“I can’t, when you have been so kind and
honorable—indeed, I can’t!”
“If I- make it I shall have to accuse you;L
and I cannot do that when you are as inno-
cent of wrong as an angel!” ~
The girl blushed. “I cannot do it,” she
said, as if that settled it._
“And I will not,” Horace declared as posi~
tively. “What are we to do!”
“I do not know. I am sure," she responded,
looking down where her wee foot was tap-
ping the carpet. Her cheeks and even her
neck was suffused in a warm blush.
“There is only one way”— and then
Horace hesitated.
“What is that?” she asked, her pretty head
drooping still lower. Horace hesitated till
she looked up inquiriugly. Then he took a
step toward her and held out his arms.
“To stay married,” he almost whispered.
She sprang into his arms with a. cry of joy
and surprise. “Do you mean it!”
He did not speak his answer. It was not
necessary.—Will S. Faris in New York
News.
IN PRIVATE PARLOFIS.
lelng Professional Dar-keys to Amuse
Fashionable Guests—Tho Programme.
Sixty expectant faced, beaming eyed chil-
dren sat close together in the large drawing
room of a luxurious house in Thirty-sixth
street, a minute’s walk from Fifth avenue,
one afternoon last week. Behind them stood
and sat as many more of their older brothers
and sisters and mothers and fathom, the
crowd winding itself out into the broad hall
and even reaching up far on the wide stair-
case. All eyes were on the curtains conceal-
ing ale end of the room. It was sunshine
outside, but the great window curtains were
dropped and the room was brightened from
candelabra and chandelier.
The little men and women didn’t know ex-
actly what there was behind that mysterious
curtain, nor did any of the graver folk, ex-
cept a few who had been let into the precious
secret. They guessed there were to beprivate
theatricals, but when 4‘ o’clock was chimed
and the curtains-were drawn to either side all
that was revealed was a crescent of seven
empty chairs. A pianist in a corner struck a
chord and in filed a line of black faced men
in sombre evening drew, with Knickerlbckrrs
and black silk stockings and silver buckled
shoes. “Minstrels," whispered a youngster.
with a giggle, to a little girl by his side, and
as he spoke the melody of “My Old Kentucky
Home,” in rich tenor tones, rose to confirm
the youngster's surmise.
Minstrel entertainments in private houses
are gotten up chiefiyto amuse the younger
element, and incidentally they add variety to
the routine of those who are in the full rush
of social life. The first private minstrel en-
tertainment was given by a group of Dock-
stader’s artists just before Christmas week,
and since then nearlya dozen shows have
been presented in houses in Madison and
Fifth avenues and other homes of Murray
hill. The programme begins with songs and
dialogues. and “gags” touching society foibles
are cleverly worked‘in. The ' first part ends
with a comical “finish,” and then some
specialties in singing, dancing and banjo
playing are given, followed by a pathetic
recitation. the whole closing with a short
burlesque. The oddity of a minstl‘el show in
aprivate drawing room has been picked up
as being far more entertaining than private
theatricals, for private theatricals are getting
to be almosta bore, and besides require so
much preparation for their successful prev
sentatiou. The programmeis specially pre-
pared, and after it is all over the little ones
are wild to go to the impromptu dressing
room and see how the white men make them-
selves darkeya—New York Tribuneu
A Deluge, from the Geyser-s.
We were away in the morning to flesh
fields and pastures new; but just as we were
upon the or ler of going there cumeashrlek
from the mouths of a score of tirelem
watchers, and lo! at the further and of the
basin was a geyser overdue now climbing the
skies in a frenzy of dazzling foam; everybody
started on the double quick—men, women
and children. Alonzo touched up the ani-
mals and away we went with a. backboard
load of guests. Before we had reached the
scene of action another geyser bud burst
forth, and than another and another, and yet
another. We sent up acheer that was audible
above the almost deafening roar of the
waters and the stream; women screamed
hysterically, children cried with fright, it
was glorious; it was terribly glorious. _ It
scemedas if the deluge was about to cover
the mountains once more. The spray fell
upon us like summer rain; the houses were
obscured with thin vapor: again and again
we were driven hastily from our vantage
ground by cloud bursts that threatened to en.
gulf 118.
The hair of the scientists stood on end.
They moved their arms wildly. as if they
were directing the orchestra of the elements,
and it was thus that we'bllde' adieu to the
upper Geyser basin, reallywith our hearts in
our throats, and our jackets sparkling with
moisture. The horses stood it pretty well.
Alonzo was at their heads in a moment; and
' then, after a horse has got used to uncdmmon
demonstrations, nothing can touch him
As we drove away out of the
whirlwinds we said to one another, “Surely.
there is nothing left in the whole Yellowstone
park worth seein after this.” Whyi‘the
Sunday splurgcr o the favored‘ fountains 'of
Versailles is as child's play and a penny
squirt in comparisons—Yellowstone Par
Cor. in San Francisco Chronicle.
Endurance of Big Guns.
Gun makers record with satisfaction that
not one of the Rodman guns has ever been
exploded, even though the presume goesas
high as 200,000 pounds to the square inch.
The endurance ranges from 300 to 2,400
rounds, The average pressure in Krupp’s
guns-13,30,900 pounds to the square inch."-
Boston Dodge;
NORWALK GAZETTE, “WERNESDAYI MARCH :2, [387,
WAR ON THE RHINE.
A VETERAN'S VIEW OF THE FRENCH
AND GERMAN ARMIEs. '
The Condition Existing m 1870 in
Favor of Germany Will Aid France
Should Hostllltles Break Out—Hatred
of Bismarck.
The writer pmed some time in the French
and German camps on the eve of the Franco-
Prussian war. The popular feeling then was
a good indication of what was to occur at the
first provocation. Germany arose as one
man; it arose for an idea, and France went
as far as personal enthusiasm for a romantic
figure could carry it and broke down when
the imperial puppet was removed. There is
an interesting field for study in the two
nations today as they stand logically pitted
against each other by reason of clashing tra-
ditions and oppodng principles of govern-
ment. There seems to be,however, a. cam-
plete reversal of circumstances; and much
that favored Germany in 1870 is not with
Germany today. but is with France; and
much that weakened France under the second
empire is not with France .to-day, but is with
the rival empire across the Rhine. .
Prussia has become the empire and the old
opposition cry of 1866 against Bismarck—
one man powerI—has come to full realiza-
tion. The states have had union. a national
sentiment and a national policy, and what do
they think of them? The discontent of the
people has not subsided; poverty has in-
increased; emigration has gone on at 0. won-
derfu! rate. The people turned away from
loyalty to princes and nobility, the old tie
that bound land and people and government.
and their golden traditions are gone. Great
estates have absorbed the land and the young
have no home feeling and no incentive to
love the native soil. There are many indica-
tions upon the surface to show a state of
things far different to that of 1870. Experi-
ence has taught them that they have ex-
changed such llberties as their lazy and
frivolous kinglets allowed them for a menial
service to a mighty and all absorbing power
that grinds on remorse!ess!y,a power only
great in itself and reducing all outside to a'
littleucm more beggarly than before.
The Germans have stood for independence.
progress in thought and the amelioration
of man. But it is not many yearssince
Bismarck ‘ sounded a warning note of
another ‘ kind. It was not aimed at a
foreign foe, but an internal one. namely:
sensualism. He said that dissipation was
capping the manliness of the nation. All
of that mighty force of human energy cahed
up by the political agitations of Bismarck’s
early days turned from the noble channels of
lofty endeavor to petty indulgence and base
gratification The beer and music gardens
conquered. the all conquering Germans and
their warmest friends have mourned over it.
In another direction the energies of that
powerful people were turned into fields of
scientific discovery and Virchow and Buch-
ner, not tomention Darwin and other out-
siders, led the excited minds into all the daz-
zling mysteries of organic creation and de-
velopment, and thedestructive school of Bible
critics at Stuttgart, with Bauer at the head,
paved the way for a widespread materialism
that has borne fruit in this age.
But in France all is national, all is fixed
upon one idea, ultimately, and that idea de-
stroys the possibility of any alarming spirit
of neutrality or indifference. Legitimist,
imperialist, republican or socialist, believe in
France, and once France is exalted the fac-
tions can settle somehow which shall rule.
This national ambition is not one of conquest,
but looks only to the Rhenish border, to Al-
sace and the old provinces where Germany
stands in the way. The name of German
brings up aspectre that all Frenchmen loy-
ally bate.
Now the man of France who nurses this
hatred of Germany is the citizen, the free and
independent bourgeois. He is in the army and
he stands today in the same relation to the
struggle for nationality that his German
counterpart did in 1870 toward the unifica-
tion of Germany. The regular army of Ger-
many is a body of conscripts, and made up of
peasants who cannot evade the rigorous
draft. This peasant conscript lives in the
barrack and has all the traditions of imperial
service to hold himto his work. He was a
menial out of the army, and his pickel-haube
and breechloader makes himTa man of conse-
quence. Beyond what this bearish en-
thusiasm for a strong crown amounts to,
Bismarck cannot hope for popular support
outside of Prussia. The burgher or citizen
element in the standing army is independent.
It is voluntary in asense, is self-sustaining,
lives outside the barracks, and looks uponthe
service as an evil and a burden to beavoided.
When this element comes to be summoned in
the Landwchr for field duty, the crown must
show good reason for its action or the Land-
wchr will not stand to its work. The brunt
of battle in anew conflict with France will
doubtless fall upon the ignorant peasantry of
Germany, who can be held to their posts and
will have asort of brute enthusiasm, good so
long as kept in motion. But Bismarck never
yet won a fight with such material. In 1866
the Prussian schoolmaster whipped the Aus-
trianboor at Sadowa. That was the boast
of the time. in 1870 the schoolmaster and
his enthusiastic young ally from the burgher
class struck together for the unification of
Germany at Sedan. Both then made way
under the empire for a. huge standing army of
the most illiterate orders who could not
escape by emigration, or get exemption
through privileges open to the burgher class,
and so the man in pickel—huube today is a
peasant. His French antagonist will be a
citizen whose heart is in his work, and whose
nation is his God—George L. Kilmer in New
York Mail and Express.
Oldest Christian Church.
The oldest specimen of Christian architect-
ure in the world is the Church of the Nativity
at Bethlehem, which was built A. D. 327 by
the Empress Helena, mother of Constantine
the Great. An altar in this splendid basilica
is said to mark the spot where were buried
the 20,000 children massacred by order of
Herod. Hero also is a. low vault. called the
Chapel of the Nativity, with an inscription
which says: “Here Jesus Christ was born of
the Virgin Mary.” The ancient church is
now used by all sects alike, and it is inn state
of great neglect. Adjoining it are Roman
Catholic, Greek and Armenian convents, and
connected with it is a chamber which was for-
merly the study of St. Jerome. —Boston Bud~
get.
The Lord Mayor's Mistake.
The lord mayor. a. few years ago, was try—
ing a case at the Mansion house. Not satis-
fied with the testimony of a witness. he can-
tioned him to be careful, saying: “You must
be very careful in your statements, for I
could have sworn that when I arose this
morning I put my watch into my pocket,
and I have only just missed it; and now recol-
lect that I left it on my dressing table.”
On his return home, the lady mayoress
asked what had caused him to send so many
messengers in such quick succession for his
watch and chain, as but one could take it to
him. His lordship then saw his indiscretion.
Several professional thieves had started im-
mediately fox-that watch, and the first one
had obtained iL—Youth'aCompanion.
Gen. N. P. Banks and Daughter.
Miss Maud Banks. who is at present in
Philadelphia, asserts that her going upon the.
stage received the cordial approval of her
parents. Her father attends all her perform-
ances when she is playing anywhere near
Boston, although before her debut he took no
interest in theatrical matters. “He is now,
she said the other day, “71 years old. and his
hair is white as silver; but when I am at
home he forgets 50 years of his age. We live
on a farm of sixty acres just outside of Bos-
ton, and father manages to spend all the sur-
plus revenue from his office as United Stator
malshal in agricultural experiments. But
the farm doesn’t interfere with his ofiicia‘
duties. as he is in his office daily."-—New York
Tribune.
What Are “Wild Hairs?"
“Wild hairs" are eyelashes growing so as to
project against the eyeball, and thus keep up
constant irritation. Theyare best removed
by electricity, as first recommended by Dr.
Charles E. Michel, of St. Louis. A fine
needle, forming the negative pole of s gal~
vanic battery-asabout four cells is sufficient—,-
is introduced into the hair follicle, usinga
magnifying glass to find it accurately. The
patient then makes the circuit complete by
grasping a sponge forming the positive pole.
A few seconds application is sufficient to
cause destruction to the hair follicle. and
there is no new growth of the offending eye-
lash—Globe Democrat.
Pugilist and Pupil.
There are some disreputable pugilists, who
have played a mean game noon ambitious
young men. They engage to give a pupil a
dozen lessons for a stated price and demand
the money in advance. They give one les-
son, but upon the second occasion make their
appearance in'aseemingly intoxicated con-
dition and sstonish the pupil by knocking him
all over the room and-leaving him in a gener-
ally battered and broken up condition. The
pupil has no desire to continue the study and
the “professor" pockets the money and looks
out for another pupil—New York Journal.
Gen. Zachary Taylor.
Walt Whitman remembers meeting Gen.
Taylor in New Orleans about forty years ago,
and found him, in civilian’s clothes, {is jovial,
old, rather stout. plain man. with a. wrinkled
and dark. yellow face, and in ways and man-
ners the least of conventional ceremony or
etiquette I ever saw; he laughed unrestrain-
edly at everything comical. He had a great
personal resemblance to Fenimore Cooper,
the novellst.”-E,xchonge.
Pope Leo XIII will not touch the 53,500,-
000 placed in 9. Rome bank to his credit by
the Italian government, and about $7,000,-
000 has been forfeited because neither he nor
Pia 123 would malt—Chicago Herald.
|
l
.pose culture and good breeding.”
THE SHYSTEII LAWYER. -
CHARACTERISTICS OF A CLASS WHO
oIscRAcs THE PROFESSION.
The Code of Ethics Among Lawyers.
Blackmailers of tho Corporations—Di-
vorce Proceedings and How Conducted
by the Shyster—Other Tricks.
There is a code of ethics among lawyers,
though never a lawyer appeared in a ro-
mance or a drama who ever appeared to have
any ethics beyond “Get a case fairly if you
can, anyhow if you must. ” The code of eth-
ics is, in brief, that one must not drum up
cases, that case- must come to the lawyer, or
rather be sent to him by hlsfriends or clients.
The poor devil of a lawyer who never gets a
clients to talk up his merits, and hasn’t a
friend who would refer a case to him, sticks
to ethics as long as possible, but ethics don’t
feed him or clothe him. The big guns hold
all the practice worth having, and the p. d.
get his pay in thanks, or mayhap in curses
because he lost a case which he had not f unds.
enough to properly prepare. He throws eth—
ics overboard in disgust eventually. and when
he does so. when he sails out on the sea of life
as a kind of privateer and captures cases, he
is denominated a shyster. He joins then the
grand army of disreputables, and is among,
but not of them; for the shystcr, pure and
simple, is generally a legal confidence man,
preying upon his clients, while instigating
them to prey upon others.
The shyster‘s name is legion. He works
quietly and rakes in his fees religiously. He
is debarred from association with reputable
lawyers, but he makes money, and generally,
in addition to his irregular law business, he
conducts a money lending businem at the
usual usurious rates of interest. There is al-
~ways one good feature about the sbyster, and
that is be subscribes for the daily paper; but
even this is not good. inasmuch as the means
do not justify the end any more than the end
justifies the means.
A 8115019an 1001..
The shyster gets his sustenance from the
unfortunate whom he forces into proceedings
for damages. He becomes in the practice of
his peculiar branch of business a blackmailer
of the corporations of the city and of the
clients themselves. To such an extent has the
nefariousness of these irregular damage praco
titioners gene that a reputable lawyer hesi-
tates nowadays, before going into court to sue
for damages from fear that he will be classed
as one of these bloodsuckers and legal hat-pies.
Once a shyster gets a. damage case his pro-
ceedings .are a mixture of subordination of
perjury and blackmail. He turns up wlt~
n'esses to testify to a state of facts to give
color and form to claim, and this being done,
he negotiates with the party or parties sued
for a settlement with him as representative
of his client. If the settlement is effected ho
obtains the lion’s share of the money, and the
client is told that that share is his fee for the
hcrculean' endeavors in his behalf.
In divorce proceedings, too, the shyster
shines with no dim luminosity. Through his
machinations trivial disputes between man
and wife are magnified into grounds for
divorce, through him the detestable system of
espionage upon men and women has grown
up and disreputable detective testimony is
used to breed suspicion, distrust and open
hatredthat homes may be broken up and fees '
roll into his pocket. Through the shyster in-
finance the number of grounds for divorce in
the statutes is increased steadily, and at-
tempts to reduce them for the good of social
morals and the maintenance of recognizable
relationship are defeated through the power
he brings to bear upon legislatures. if he does
not happen to be elected as a law maker him-
self. 0n the law of libel, too, the shyster is
strong, and to the end that he may bleed the
newspapers he reads them every day, and no
man’s name appears therein who is not liable
to a call from a representative of some shy-
ster to inform him that he has grounds for
action for libel.
HOUNDING Down conronanons.
The Mark Meddles exist in great numbers
and their efforts to obtain cases are more
despicable if not as ludicrous as those of the
little man who would fain be kicked by the
dramatis pcrsonm in “London Assurance.”
The shyster reads the columns of the news.
papers for the reports of accidents to in-
dividuals, reports of arrests, of differences
between man and wife appearing in the
lower courts. One attorney has prepared a
printed circular which he sends out to such
persons as may be injured in accidents
throughout the city.
Another circular recently issued by a law-
yer who makes a. specialty of entrapping peo-
ple into divorce proceedings. It happened to
beaddrsssed to a person who hadn’t taken the
preliminary step toward divorce proceedings
—that is, he had not as yet got married,
though he expected to be in a short time. He
thought it a practical joke until he learned
that the circular was sent out in all serious-
nes, though in this particular instance there
had been a mistake in addrem‘ng the en-
velope. The circular was so arranged that a
blank was left for the word sir or madam.
It is not often lawyers such as those alluded
to intrust these matters to the mails, though
of late such practice has become more com-
men than formerly. Usually the shyster has
drummers out, fellows that seem to work for
nothing more than lush money, who call on
the persons who it is suspected would listen
to their advances. The drummer isgenerally
a bummer, and the wonder is that be succeeds
as well as he does.
All the little tricks of the shyster's trade
could not be exposed in a newspaper article.
The law is disgraced by men dubbed attor-
neys. who through influence of some kind or
another suddenly cease practice as barbers or
linkers or saloon keepers or cooks. and take
the cases of people into courts, sacrificing their
unfortunate clients to increase their bank ac
counts. The shyster of the criminal courts,
it so fortunately happens, is a valuable ad-
junct to the administration of justice in con-
victing the men he tries to acquit, but his
general characteristics and practices are those
of swindlers and bunco steerers.—Globe
Democrat.
A Cure for Corns Wanted.
“Any man who wants to make a quick and
certain fortune,” observed a Broadway drug-
gist the other day, “can do it by inventing a
sure cure for come. It doesn’t matter how
many there are there’s always room for one
more. Corns are a universal weakness of the
American people. There isn’t a day that I
do not have calls for corn cures from anv-
where from fifty to 150 men, women, girls
and boys.”
“Is there any actual sure cure for come?” I
asked him.
- “That depends,” said be. “There is hardly
a remedy that would not remove corns if the
people did not wear shoes. The trouble is
that while they are continuing the friction
and pressure that originally produced it. But,
whether they cure or not. the good remedies,
if properly applied, keep the corn from in-
creasing or hardening and reduce its annoy-
ance to a minimum. There are hundreds of
people who employ a chiropodist by the year
at avcontract price, and it is his duty to keep
their corns pared down and their feet in
order. The corn cures enable people who can-
not aiford this luxury to care for their own
toes with little waste of time or trouble.—
New York News. . ‘
The Panama Canal.
The following items regarding the progress
of work on the Panama canal are of interest:
Twenty thousand men are on the isthmus; 415
miles of special railroad have been built; 14,-
000 cars, 29 steamers, 200 vessels, 804 small
iron works, 48 drugs, 06 berculean excavat-
ors, 36 powerful perforators, and 468 im-
mense pumping engines are at work. Light
for night work is supplied by 7,000 lamps, and
175 engines are constantly engaged-TBostou
Transcript.
California Coolics' Lodging House.
one of the lodging houses, which holds
nearly 1,000 persons, may be taken as a fair
specimen of the coolie’s way. of life. The
building, which was originally a four story
structure. has been converted into double
this number of floors. In the main hall on
the top and lower floors are arrangements for
cooking, and each ledger has the privilege of
using the common fire. Adjoining this co-
operative kitcheu are the water closets, al-
ways out of repair, and it is no uncommon
sight to see the Chinese standing on bits of
brick and stone and placidly cooking, while
the floor is covered with the overflow from
the choked closets, and the atmosphere is like
that of a huge cattle stable at the east when
thrown open on a winter morning. The
coolle seems to be able to live without air, for
in the closets that serve as rooms in the great
human hive there are never any means of
ventilation. day or night. Yet the occupants
appear to thrive, and if capacity to do hard
work is a sign of health theyarein good
physical condition—George E. Fitch in Cos-
mopolitan. .
. Who Is the Gentleman!
“ It is a mistake," says Ouida in the North
American Review, “to compare moral
qualities with the qualities which com-
It
is a mistake indeed, and yet it is
almost as common as speech. Because, for
instance, itis excellent to be a gentleman,
that is. a man of breeding. and it is also ex-
cellent to be a man of upright character and
and kindly disposition, we find these qualities
quoted and admired as-if they were inter-
changeable. This absence of discrimination
empties words of all meaning.
”A. person,” says Ouida, " may be full of
kindly'courtesies and never utter the shadow
of an untruth, and yet he may have red hot
hands. a strident voice, an unsupportable
manner, dropped aspirates and a horribly
gross jovinlity, which makes him the val-
guest of the vulgar.” But goodbreeding
by necessity is coming to mean‘almost any-
thing else the speaker wishes. for the impera-
tive reason that the thing itself is disappear-
ing; and as for the word gentleman, what
does that mean now more than a-’ human
biped of the male ‘¢nd9fi—New York Home
Journal . _ '
ECZEMATOUS scans AND sonss
CURED BY CUTICURA. ‘
Y little son, aged eight years has been afflict-
M ed with Eczema oI the scalp, and m ulna-.5 a
great portion of the body. ever since he was two
year- old. it began In his ears and extended to
his scalp, which became covered with scabs and
sores. and from whlcu a sticky null] poured out,
causing intense ltchlng and distress. and leaving
his hair matted rml lifeless. Underneath these
scabs the skin was raw, like a mom: of beelsleak.
Gradually the ban came out and was destroyed,
until but- a small patch was left at the back of the
head. My friends In l'eabody know how my
little boy "as suffered. At night‘he-would scralch
his head until his pillow was covered with blood.
I used to tle his hands behind him, and Ill many
ways tried to prevent. hls scratching; but It was
no use, he would scratch. I took him lo the hos-
pltal. and to the heel physlclans in‘ Peabody wim-
out success. About this time some friends, who
but! been cured by the Cutlcuru Remedies, pre-
vailed upon me to try them. I began to use them
on the mm of cannery last. In seven months
every particle of the disease was removed. Not a
spot or scab remains on his scalp to tell the story
of his suffering. His hair has returned. and Is
thick and strong, and his scalp as sweet and clean
as any child s in the world. I cannot say enough
to express my gratitude for this wonderful cure
bv the Luticura Remedles. and wish all similarly
amlcted to know that my statement Is true and
without exaggeration.
u ARLES .
Octobero. 1855. _ McKAY,Peabody,\lass.
I have seen Mr. McKay's bov when had!
affected with the Eczema. lie was a [)lllllll slghl
to look at. I know that he has tried our best
physicians. and did all a father could do for a
sulferlng chl!d,buI availed nothing. lknow Ibat
the statements he has made you as regards the
curing of his boy by your Cutlcura Remedies are
true In every partlcular.
WILLIAM J. MsCAR'I‘nY.
33 Foster street. Peabody, Mass.
I do know of any Instance In which the
Cullcura Remedies have failed to produce satis-
factory results. I believe I have sold more of
aggmnzgallllegfl any o‘IIholt'flskln remc-lles I have
( ur ngt at n -tbree ears of In
my experienceasadrng lat.y y y
~ A. D. ’l‘ YON. Batavla, N. Y. '
Sold everywhere. Price:
CUTICUBA son 25 cents; cartoons RssoLvnnr.
8!.00. Prepared by i’o'rrsu Dime AND CHEMICAL
00.. Boston. Mass.
Sand for“ How to Cure Skin Diseases.”
) PLES Blackheads Skin Blcmlnhcs and
I It“ Baby Rumors. use CUTICUBA REMEDIES.
l WIIIII About CaIth -
“It Is the mucous membrane, that wonderful
semi-fluid envelope surrounding the delicate tis-
sue’s of the air and food passages, that 'batarrb.
makes its stronghold. Once established it cars
into the very lea!s,and renders life but a long-
drawn breath of misery and disease, dulllng the
sense of hearing, trsmmelllng the power of
speech.destroymg the faculty of smell. Iaintlng
the breath, and killing the refined'pleusul‘es of
taste. Insidious! , by creeping on from a simple
cnld In the he , It assaults the membranous
lining and envelope the bones, eating through
the dellcate coats and causing inflammation.
sloughlng and death. Nothing short of Iona]
eradication will secure health to the patient. and
all allevlates are simply procrasIluated sufferings.
leading to a fatal termination. SANroub's RADI-
CAI. CUBE. bv Iahalamm and Internal adminis-
tration. has never failed; even when the disease
has made frightful inroads on dellcale constitu-
.ions, besrlng,smell and taste have been recovered
and the disease thoroughly driven out."
sxnronn’s RAnchl. Unus- COIISIBIS of one bottle
of the Ramon. Cons. one box CArAusuAL Son-
vnnr,‘and one lnruovsn INHALsR neatly wrap-
:18?” In one package, with full directions; price.
Cur-Icons. 50 cents ;
POTTER DRUG AND CHEMICAL C0., BRIOD.
HOW IT scars.
Worn out with pain, but still compelled
by stern necessity to slam! up to the work
before us and bear the pain. Relief in
xone minute In a Cutlcurn Anti-Pain
, Plaster for the aching sides and back.
the weak and painful muscles. the sore
chest and hacking cough. and every pain and ache
of daily toil. Elegant, new, original. speedy and
infallible. At all drugglsts, 25c.; live for $1.00;
or, postage free, of otter Drug and chemical
00., Boston.
PILES CAN BE CURFD ..
Without Knife, Ligature or Costic.
A simple. and comparatively~ painless pr'ocess.
so onus: so PAY!
Address by letter to DR. YARNAL]., 150
E. still Street, New York City, 15750
Erna. stnsu. visits Norwalk and Vicinity.
Kasxrnn.
(THE N Ew QUI N l N III.)
‘ "' ' N0 Bad Direct.
Nu Headache.
Nu Nausea.
. .. NuRlngingEars
Cures Quickly.
s, Pleasant, Pure.
A POWERFUL TONIC)
That the most delicate stomach \vill‘bear.
om Darkness.
'cic:;co emerging 1:
e
L.
RH 14: [HI t'l‘l-M.
N ERVI IUS I’ROH'I‘IQA'I 10S,
And all Germ Diseases.
mllh’a'nevue Bospilal. N. Y.. “Universally success-
“Every patient treated
with Kassine has been
discharged cures."
Dr. L. R. White. U. S. Examining Surgeon.
writes :-“Kasklne is the best medicine made."
Dr. L, M. Glessner, 360 East 1215: St., New York
city, has has cu ed over 390 patienls with Kaskine
after quluine and all 0 her remedles had failed.
He says: “It is undou tellly the best medicine
ever discovered.”
Prof. W. F. Holcombe. M. D., 54 East 25th St..
N. Y.. (late Prof. N. Y. Med. College), writes :—
“Kasklne is superior to quinine ill Its specific
power, and never produces the slightest in) my to
the bearing ul‘ constitution."
Rev Jas. L. Hall, Chaplain Albany Penitentiary.
writes that Kasklne has cured his wife, after
twenty years suffering from malaria and nervous
dyspepsia. erte him for particulars. ,
Thousands upon thousands write that 'Kaskine
has cured them after all other medicines and
failed. Write for book of testimonials.
Kasklnc can be taken without any special medi-
cal advice. $1.00 per bottle. sold by Geo. B.
Plaisted. Norwalk,Conn., or sent by mail on re-
ceipt of rice. 1y 2
THE ssxms Co.. 54 Warren St.. New York.
St. Francis Hospital,
N. Y.
. to be msde.Cut this out and re-
turn tons. and we will send you
. free something of great value and
importance to, you. that mil alert you In business,
which will bring you in more money right away
than anything else in this world. any one can do
the work and live at home. hither sex: all ages.
Something new that just coins moncy for all
workers. We will start you ; capital not needed.
This Is one of the genuine, Important chances of a
lifetime. Those who are ambitious and enterpris-
ing will not delay. Grand outfit free. Address
True k. 00., Augusta, Maine. lye:
W0 R KING C LASSE ‘tllsfil'flfé
prepared to furnish all classes with employment at
home. the whole of the time, or for their spare
moments. Business new, light and profitable.
Persons of either sex can earn from 50 cents to $5
per evening. and a proportional sum by devoting
all their time to the business. boys and girls earn
nearly as much as men. That all who see this may
send their address, and test the business, we make
this offer. To such who are not well sauslletl we
will send one dollar to pay for the trouble of writ.
lng. Full particulars and outfit free. Address
George Stinson .h 00.. Portland. Maine. .y52
You at work for us. than at anything else in
this world. Capital not needed; you
are started free. Both sexes; all ages. Any one
can do the work. Large earnings sure from first
start. Costly outfit and terms free BeItcr not
delay. costs you nothing to send us your address
and find out ; If you are wine you will do so at once.
11. Hallett a 00., Portland, Maine. 1y52
QUINlNE, SPLASTE‘R
I « 4 sun
The great strengthening r. iuetly for. weak Inns-
cles. ulckly cures pain In ”18 hack,chest, side
and lim s. ’irthem. At drugglsts or by mail,
26 cents;fifor $1. QUININE I’LAs'l'sR 00., Sara-
toga Springs, N. Y.
$2 REWAIID.—The above reward wulbe
psidfor information Ihat will lead to
the arrest and conviction of the party who Is
false! representin hilnseli to be“ DR M.
son AB, the optic an and oculist. Dr. Schwab
Is to he found only 'at. the Norwalkand Mnhackemo
Hotels. Heemploysuo peddlers roagents. tf'zo
can live at home and make more money
d. DISPEPSIA.
A POTENT BEIEDY FOB
Indigestion. Acute and Atonlc Dyspepsia, Chronic
and desire-Intestinal Cllturrh, Vomiting in Preg-
nuncyACholeI-a lnfantum, and in oonvalescence
InnIezsneu
from cute Diseases.
Over 15,000 physicians have sent to us the most
flattering opinions upon Digestylln as a remedy
for all diseases arising from improper digestion.
For 20 years we have manufactured the Digest-
ive Fermeuts expressly for PHYSICIANS’ use,-
snd for the past year D GESTYLIN has been by
them extensively prescribed. and to-day It stands
withoutarlvalsss digestive agent. ,It Is not a
secret remedy but a scientific preparation, the
formula of which is plainly prlnted bu each bottle.
Its t DIGESTIVE POWER ls created‘bya
care a! and pro rtreatment of the ferments in'
manufacture. tis very agreeable tome taste.
and acceptable to the most dellcate stomach. . For
the reliability of our statements we would respect-
fully refer to all Wholesale and Retail Druggisls.
and PHYSICIANS generally. Price 8|.00.
Sold by__Drugglsts. or »
, .15]. F. IIDDEIIJ 00..
‘ Msnurscrumns Camus-rs.
1y7 _ 88 John Street, New l‘orh.
Geo. H. Osterbank,
Special attention given to all kinds 01
PA I N T 1 N G,
Paper Hanging and Decorating. '
Contract Work a. Specially.
ALL WORK WARRANTED.
2i Chapel Street, Norwalk, Conn.
61111
A 9PM llfiu: PHI: MALA-aIA.’
Yours for Health
LYDIA E. - '
'PINKHAM’S
. consume,
1: a Positive Care
or ALL of then Painful
Delicate Complaints and
'Com lie-fed troubles and
We «use so. common
man cquivu. Mothers.
and sudden.
I'm so I'll
sass-n. numerous.
mun Ass use.
m
, 9/. fig or um um
/ , a .mumsn-
; was no: ova-nox, on mm or m
Ins. Pn'cxasl's“Gumsro Hum-n" m comm
mommnmromvunvmnmmm
“omnibus.“ Ileana: 3mm.
roll~ WEAK Ive-as.
Mrs. Lydia E. l’lnkhum: “About the first of
September. 1581. my wife was taken with uterine
.cnnrrnagc. The best styptlcs the physician
‘Otlnl prescribe did not check It. and she got more
"II more enlccoled. She was troubled with
I'm am» '.'Icr, Leucorrhea, numbness of the
limbs,sickn'I oitlle stomach and loss of appe-
tile. I purchased a trial home of your Vegetable
(‘ompounIL She said shew/old director a salu-
tary (mean-om, Ihuflrst dose. Now she Is com-
paratively free from me Prolapsus, stomacb’s
sickness. etc: 'Ihe hemorrhage is very much
better and is less at the regular periods. Her
appctllels restored, and her general health and
strength _muo!I Improved We feel that we have
been wonderfully benefitIeIl, and our hearts are
drawn out In gratitude for me same and In sym-
pathy for other sane-era for whose sakes we allow
our names to be used."
U. W. EATON.ThursIou. N. Y.-
MAIIIIIAIIE AND IIEAL'I ll.
Pittsburg. Pa..' Nov. 5th, ‘883. Mrs. Lydia E.
Plnkllam: “As is fre numb)“ the case with
mothers who have reare am famllies. i' have
tried Ihe skill of a number of physicians, and the
vmue of many medicines wlIlIouI relief. and as an
experiment I concluded to II) yours. I am no: a
seeker after notoriel II. but 1 111mm to cell uauthat I
have been warrant/ally Muflluvd W your medi-
cine. I am now using my fourth home and it
would take but little argument to persuade me
that my team was/um] restored. I should like
to wIIIe-ly circulate the facts of its wonderful
curative powers." Psalm 0. Roar.
YOUTH and BEAUTY
,- Can be Obtained
"‘4“: or name
eLIIIToII's
wrrcn mar.
.—
Itls the cal pm
loco
Fle
Burn. It gives the complexion a tubs-- and
which motto abused byu other «on gym-annual
anculo. lthunsquallduebuuufi'uof ohsu' rd:
Iklnlhd ltsoft, clear and white. Witch Haul allotm-
hoot-paint or powder and ml- “the“,
mist
toesvnupthei
hutsrcmed thathesisperfectlysndeou "to
we urine-"vulva"”loci-filing;
COCKLE’S
ANTI-BILIOUS
PILLS,
THE GREAT ENGLISH REMEDY
For Liver. Bile. Indigestion. .
cury: contains on! Pure Vegetable In radiant;
Agent: 0. N. CR1 TENTOL‘, New or .
H...
”Li RS
”3' emu» X
.1013: »
_ It will drive the Ilamorfromyour M
a skin ,,
no: 3
Send two to. stan‘ps to A. P. Ordwcy a Co.
’ wrence, Mass, and receive melegunt set of
ant: Cards free.
George F. Quintard
-—Ilas opened a—
FIRST-CLASS
GnocERY,
N935 'llall Street, A f
Opposite to J. B. Ells’ Furniture Rooms.
Everything new and fresh, and will be sold
chrap as can be bought in town.
IS'llon't fail to give us a. call.
Cross Creek final, '
Hazelton Lehigh Goal,
Hall and Softball
Building Material.
Hay, Straw, Grain
and Flour.
Peal. .Iloss Stable Bedding,
Illllll ll SEWER Pill,
&c., &c.,~&c., at
Dr ’.
NW!
0“! Free from Her. '
ODDS AND ENDS.
A. hand-orgsn—A paper devoted to
pslnnstry. '
The dramatist has an easy time.
work is all play.
Mothers, teething and fretful children
need Dl. Arnold’s Soothing and Quieting
Cordial. Dluggists. 25c.
Ifulnan blows his own trumpet, can
hisopinion be sound?
Woman—Say, there why don’t you eat '
that pic? TruInp—’ Cos it’s too much like
work.
His
Hay fever asthma. Relief guaranteed.
Fontuinc's Cure. For- sale by druggists,
and I. A. Meeker, 11 Main Street, Norwulk.
There'sno danger of the young man who
goes to see his girl striking for shorter
hours.
Every girl who expects to keep up with
the times wears clocks on her stockings
and uses Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable .
Compound.
Before the wedding day she was dear
and he was her treasure, but afterward
shcbecame dcarbr and he treasurer.
It Is said that the inventor of the bustle
got his idea by observing a house with u
back bay window.—;Philadelphia Herald.
An 18.ycar-old hen has just died at
Osksloosa. Iowa, and somebody's board-
ers have had a narrow escapc.——Boston
Transcript.
Try Pearl's White Glyceriuc for burns,
scalds, rough or chafcd skin, chapped
hands, etc., and then you will be con-
vinced of its value. Druggists have it.
'
The‘Fishe ueinon—Who’llT 1: th
Eel GET-P313 a e e
The man who knows the most never
tells it in a crowd.-—Philsdelphia Times.
”There is one consolation. The high
hats obstruct the view of women as Well
as mam—Puck.
The young man who is hewailing his
misspent time probably put Ilp his watch
to take his girl out bugg tidying.
A credulous Engllsll paper gravely as-
serts that Western grasshoppers are put up
in this country for French sardines.
Hay fever, asthma. Immediate relief.
Fontalno's Cure. Sold by dru gisls, and
I. A. Meeker. 11 Main Street, domain
The ladies all say nothing is peril-ct but
the first baby and Lydia E. 'Pinkham’s
chetableCompound. The latter has‘ no
equal as a female remedy.
The man who was born with a silver
spoon In hIs mouth is now looking about
for something to eat with the spoon.
Palmistry is not a new craze; we have
known men to sit around a table for hours
trying to find out about each other's hands.
‘_‘Do bad acts condemn a min ?" asks a
writer No; what condemns him is oing
out between acts.—Burlington Free ruse.
It is said that Tennyson smokes a plain
clay pipe. From his late efforts we Infer-
red that he smoked cigarettes.——Pittsburg
Chronicle. ‘
It must make Czar Alexander turn
green With envy when he reads of the
uissant walking delegate—Boston
ranscript.
Why all this excitement about the nec-
essity of coast dcfcnsus? Isn’t may to-
boggan chute boarded in at the sides ?—
Boslon‘Post. ’
It is possible to tell a woman ‘sufirngist
by the manner in which her husband
brushes his hair—if he has any.—Ncw
York Journal.
' I
How can you expect a woman to . keep
up with the age. when she has so much
difficulty in keeping up with her own.—
Burlington Free Press.
“I do not desire wealth for iIsu-lf." rc-
murkcd the philospher. "Nu," replied
the cynic. “I suppose you desire it for
yoursi-If."—-Pittsburg Dispatch.
For Weak Back.pnlnin the side or chest,
I‘ln-InmIII-m. III-urulgiu, etc.. use the Com-
pound Quiuine Plasters, a wonderful
strengthening remedy. Sold by druggists.
Al. the stamp window—"One cent,
ianIgImntly— ‘
slumps. ma’nm?" Lady.
"Twncem. stump . sir! ‘ e can aflorvl to
have thrm as well as anybody.—Phlladcl-
pbia Call
The California women are swfullytechy.
An Oakland widow has brought suit
against a local paper which said that her
ll sband had cone to a happier home.—
Bostou Transcript.
A Chicago business man worth half a
million dollals married Illcfcmuh- cashier
in his store the other day. The manner in
which she got" thirteen cents for a shilling
every time hit him.
Jennie June thinks American women
the youngest for their ugein the world.
In ascertaining the ages of American
‘women, Jennie must have taken their
word for it.—Norristown Herald.
Science says that a body weighing 100
.' pounds on eath would weigh two tone
on the planet Jupiter. Just think of the
‘ sufferings of an inhabitant of Jupiter who
had eaten a piece of Wedding cake!
“I see we are - going to have standard
time here now,” observed Mrs. McSWIlli-
gen. “Yes," replied the husband, “the
Standard 'has gobbled - everything else
nearly, and now it undertakes to run our
time for us.——Pittburg Chronicle.
Best, Safest and Surest.—If you are
troubled with Indigestion and Dyspepsia,
don’t failto try “Digestylih.” Recom-
mended by Physiciansas the best. A quick
and sure cure in every case. $1 per bot-
tie. Sol! by all Druggists. or Wm. F.
Kidder 8: 00., Manufacturing Chemists,83
John st.. N. Y
An English magazine proposes that in-
stead of giving aname to every child, it
shall be given a number. This plan might
work in England; but in this goahesd
country it wouldn’t answer—especially in
in a family of several daughters. Here
every manlooks out for No. l. and Nos. 2,
3. 4, and5 would get left.—Nor'istown
Herald.
Some individuals have decidedly
views as to what constitutes good uck.
Some men believe that good consists in
finding money, while with others the vow
essence of good luck is finding their wives
~asl'eep'when they get home late at night.—
Pliila. Herald.
We think we can cure a. bad case of
Backache quicker with one of Carter’s
Smart Weed and Belladonna Backache
Plaster-s, than by any other application,
and after the Backache is cured, you can
still wear the plaster without discomforI
“it two or three weeks or longer. This
combination of Smart Weed and Bella-
donna is a great hit. and it is hard to find
any pain or ache that will not yield to it.
Price 25 cents. Sold by Druggists every-
user ’
Ifa fool-killer should happen to stum-
blelntoastate house in Indianapolis he
could have a rip-roaring old picnic.—
Newman Independent.
“In the event of web. old choppy, what
will you do f" “Wemaiu stwictly neu-
twul. Cuwnt fights ainst England, you
know.”—New York ournal.
How to get rid of dish washing—break
them after every meal. No charge for
this advice, but you may have to pay for
the dishes.—Somervillc Journal.
_A Rome dispatch montionsseverslarch-
bishops who are shortly to be "halted."
If any one is to “booted" it will probably”
be Dr. McGlynn.—Pittsburg Chronicle. .
A vigorous effort will be made this year
to ell-vale college base hall. MalhemaIics
and philosophy can jog along on the same
old plane a year or two longer.—Philadel-
phia Call. - .
Women who have difficulty in attract.
ing their husband's attention should bear
in mind the example of a Cincinnali‘
woman, who “got her husband’s car” by
biting it ofi'.-—Pittsburg Chronicle.
A young gentleman wishes to know
which is proper to say on leavinga young
lady friend alters late call ; good night or
good evening? Never tell a lie. young
man; say good morningl—St Paul Herald.
Too much care cannot be tak en in se-
lecting meats for the table Sperry dz
Barues’ geods are first-class in every
parIicularbecause they slaughter the hogs
and none but the healthiest are used or
cut for the market.
“Will you please give mes water cock-
tail '1’" said the tramp. ‘A water cock-
tail?" responded the bartender. “That's
a. now drink to me.” Yes? It's made of
Crotou water and red pepper."—-Drake’s
Travclers’ Magazine.
A Missouri Shel ifi went home in disguise
in the evening lo-see if his wife would
scare. She fired three shots at him so
promptly that he dropped his experiment
and began looking for the end of one Of
his fingers.——Delroit Free Press.
Do not allow a cough or cold to get
seated. but break it up at once by using
Dr. Seth-Arnold’s Cough Killer. the old
reliable remedy for coughs. colds, and all
diseasesbf the lungs. Price 250.. 50c.,
and $1.00‘-per bottle. For sale by all
druggiste.»
Dead silence in the parlor. Half lights.
More silence. Dim lights. , Increase of
silence. Female voice speaks verbally.
breaking quiet-"0h, Jack; you havn’t
shaved to-dsy " More silence in the par-
lor, aceompained by gradually decreasing
quiet in the sitting room.-— Burdctt.
Many new ideas in the home cure of
diseases, accidents, and how to treat them,
and many hints of value to the sick will
be found in Dr. Kaufmann's great Medical
Work; elegant illustrations. Send three 2
cent stamps to A. P. Ordway & 00.,
Boston, Mass. and receive a copy free.
Let me show you what a saving I have
made during the last year by being my
own doctor. Last year I paid out $96.25
for doctors and their medicine ; this year I
field $5.00 for six bottles of Sulphur
itters, and they have kept health in my
whole family. They are the best and
purest medicine ever made—Charles
King, 80Temple Street, Boston, Mass.
Woman (to tramp)—You might saw a
little wood for that nice dinner. Tramp
(reproachfully)- Madam, you ought not
to throw temptation in the way of a poor
man. Woman —- Temptation ? Tramp
Yes, madam. If I were to , saw some
wood, the chances are that I would carry
03 Ihe saw. I’m an honest man now, an
I want to stay so. ‘
where.
The. Backus
SUITABLE
For Driving all Kinds of ‘~
' LIGHT
MACHINERY.
IT WILL
W‘ater Motor.
FROM
1'8 TO 10
HORSE-POWER
FURNISHED.-
NOTE. —If you contemplate the purchase of a power,
\PAY YOU to write us.
save money\for.you. Do not be induced to buy ANY
POWER without first consulting us, which will be to
YOUR INTEREST. ‘ Manufactured and For Sale by
THE BAGKUS WATER MOTOR 00.,
Newark, N. J., U. S. A.
We know we. can
311149
I
" WHO IS uuAcQ‘UAIII'vso m‘m album. or me oouum WILL
~ - an IV mmmuu flue laminar 'I'III '
._ 0., . .-
n 4305mm ' '
usvx ~‘ . -‘-=
B reason ofits central ti ‘
lull! continuous lines at m
only true
l
sun: Till-l lens:
A Band of Canvass. soaked in
Printer’s Ink and Oil, will keep
off the destructive W orms that
strip off leaves and finally kill the
tree.
pared, is sold in Ten ‘ Pound Cans
for only-$1.00 at the GAZETTE
UEFIUE.‘ ' ‘ '
l
|
I
his Ink, especially pro-l
Sfillwstqr
CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND &. PACIFIC R
close relation to principal
middle-link in that wild; w
m'fi travel and. Me in either direction between the Atlantic and. P
as;
’Y
lines East of
Northwest and mmwmcfm
mm invites mamm-
hioh
Housnomc.RAILROAD;
Danburz/ and Norwal/c, Division...
Commencing Wednesday, November; 17, 1886.
D .1 l l. I 1' In I .\ S '
_ . South- .
Lv_. gomalk. Lv .80. Norwalk, Ar.Wilscn Polli
I 4 .I.m. 1’ " . I
8 56 .. 9 30 mm. 1 55 a. In.
12 61 p. m. 12 55 p. In.
439 u 455 " 506p.lll.
N orth.
Lv. W‘ son Polnt, Lv.So. Norwalk, Ar. Norwalk
.Sdoun. 1:20am. 925a.ln.'
13 . m. 12 " .
2 35 p“ lip “n
5 l! “ 5 ll! “
W. I1. WILKINSON Su erlnlenl
Hasnv A. BISHOP, Gen. supl'. p ‘ em.
11. D. AYERIIL, Gen. Ticket Agent.
s v., N II. a ll. Railroad.-
Trains leave South Norwalk as. follows :-'-
Gomo sAs'r some west.
1 22 a. m.. Wash. ex 4 56 a. 111., Boston ex
6 33 9 Accom’tion 5 24 “ Adams ex
7 25 “ Milk train 5 40 “ Boston ex
846 “ Accom’tlon I550 “ S. N. speclli
9 ‘20 “ Boston ex 6 If “ Accom'tion
10 55 “ Accom‘tion 'l' 05 “ B‘p'l special
I2 13 p. in. Boston ex 1 2‘1 “ Loos. ex
1 40 “ Accom’tion l 45 “ “ “
2 35 “ Local ex 6 25 “ “ “
4 32 “ Accom’tion -9 08 “ Sp’f’d Lo. ex
‘ 4 49 “ Local ex 9 38 “ Accom'lion
o 10 “ “ I029 " Sp’f’d Lo. ex
542 " Sigrid. a N. II 45 “ Accom'tion
.s ecmi . . .' ’ ’ .
6 14 u Localpex I; 3: pcm ' Ridflfollelfi
I'. so “ Sp’f’ld [.0 c) st’f’d special
1 29 “ S. N. spec n7 339 “ Boston ex
7 54 “ B'p’t special 4 47 “ u
s 29 " Accom’tlon 5 08 “ Accom’tioi
9 44 “ “ 51 " Boston cx
ll 03 “ Adams ex. «t 655 “ Accom'uou
Accom’lion s 00 “ Milk trap
11 47 “ Boston ex.‘ 8 l5 “ S.N. special
1221a. m., - -‘ — 1007 —“ Localexp ,
Sundays. 12 50 s. m., Wash caress
s so a. m., Ac. .2 Milk Sudan? ‘1 ‘
9 41 “ Accom’tlon 9 15 a. m., A'ccom‘tlon
!l 20 “ BOrIon ex :6 14 p. m., Localexpress
05! p. m., Accom'llon s 20 " Milk '
Freight Lila Direct to New York,
Landing at Pier 23 E. R., Foot of Beokmau SI
1.0mm Buss 'l'lln' in ANY o'ml-III lulu.
0n and after Monday. Nov. 1. (III! further notice. .
ice perminlug), leaving Norwalk l'uesdays, Thurs-
daga and Saturdays.
eturning, leaves New York. Mondays, Wed-
nesdays and Fridays, from Pier 23 E. It. Sfoot 'of
Beekman street), stopping at Soulh Norwa k both
ways to deliver and receive freight.
III-eight taken from and received for all points on
the Danbury and Norwulk and Shepaug Railroads
at very reduced rates. -
Upon application to agents City o.’ Norwslk will
be seal for special lots of freight anywhere in New
York or its vicinity. 7
WM! persons are forbid trusting any of the
employees of the boats on this line on account of
the owner thereof. mo
' Never varies, does not contain
one particle. of the adultero-
, tions used to reduce the cost of
PURE Goons
But DOES possess the FULL
VALUE of every Legitimate
, Washing Quality, which gives
it every advantage over Soaps »
of doubtful character; practi-
cally recommended by other
manufacturers in imitating it.
None should be deceived, how- _
ever, as the word W '
and the Glasped Hands are
stamped on every bar. '
.sa “fit-HAYNES: as.
WMQALSAM
mm ledlclnes Ever Invented For
fund and Insulin: Banal III lint: II
PAIII AND INFLAIIA‘I‘IOI,
J.mmVegetablelx’eetor-Itflh- .
fimmmmacommcnmm
.I
Bibles at 1-2 and Old
amen less
vnx mf-
Hmry Btu Rib. Cos
Nov-Illa. m
WEBSTER.
With or without Patent Index.
IT IS THE STANDARD ‘ V
in the Gov't Printing Office, and Authority with
the U. S. Supreme‘Couri. and is recommend
by the State Sup'ts of Schools in 36 States.
A Dictionary
118,000 Words, m Eugravfngs.
IA Gazetteer of the World
of 25,000 Titles, (recently added) and
A Biographical Dictionary
of nearly 10,000 Noted Persons,
All in One Book.
The latest edition in the unhtlty of matter it
contains, 15 believed to be t 0 largest volume
published. It has 3000 more Words in its vo-
cabulary than are found in any other Am. Dict’ ,
and nearly 3 times the number of Engravings.
It Is an Invaluable aid to intelligence in every
School and Family.
a. I. c. IBERIA! s co.. Pub'rs, Springfield. lass.
601.0 men. men. w...
BAKER’S
Breakfast Donna.
Wart-allied absolutely pure
Cocoa, from which the excess of
Oil has been removed. It has three
times the strength of Cocoa mixed
, with Starch, Arrowroot or Sugar.
“ ‘. and is therefore for more economi-
. _' cal, costing less than one cent a
cup. It is delicious. nourishing,
strengthening, easily digested. and
. admirably adapted for invalids as
well as for persons in health.
Sold by Grocers everywhere
In. Bull l 00., Banner. Ina
gduiifible
MORTGAGE COMPANY.
CAPITAL, - " $600,000
osssumtuass
9M . .. lineaudbruahumuaom“ olietOtta - ,
Sallefieorla. Geneseo, Henna and Rock Mumgnnnm; J Kasai cua'anteed Fa'm Mortgages
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THE GREAT ROCK IsLAno ROUTE "“‘"’ .0. .......... '
G s c to th ‘ h _ .- -.l , i It- u-n. CnAlIl-‘UIID, Agent, ‘
. m“ ' tn. bed 8 2
afommugzwne . "In: Safety“ 2! 33‘? lo ‘ '11?” t. road a In 31 Main Street, Norwslk.
it. Ithuanthefibtyapplianooothatmochanical umhuinvsntod and
prov liable. W equation is conservative and -
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tionsisun unledénwthoWeat-i “m m
of coggfilbliggé x 0104' malt W“: 9'? ° m r'm” mos' #133353
and ABS e Museum
mm,stfoomlktchlmmgfiu “Mime *
CABS. ' Ranges twice a year, tops on
THE FAMOUS ALBERT LEA ROUTE
II the direct, f. alto lln .
this route so cilia: Wfifi‘%‘:&mflw and St. Paul. 0'.-
localities and hen
ting and menu
wheat field.- and m lauds inter Data are reached
A 'h n In! tween "° swimm! Indimulméarllsr '3."
Jamil. Atchison, Leavenworth, mpaity, W, St. Paul and. inter-
ato point. - ‘ ‘
Island train-h 'I h 'm’ "M ',"
o
to travelers
In
classes 02mm especially
ofilclals and amp! Book
kingloy; attention. eyes 0:
warmest-rmwcmmmm mwmm m- m m
‘ ‘ Ea ST- 10""; I
Mfldm'l ”film I ' Nfldfl’l I’fr, than
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SPECIAL BARGAINS
-—m————’
Choice Building Lots
Situated on Spring Hill. Wilton Avenue,
Fair Street. and Riverside Avenue. En-
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B'. J. STURGns.
Norwalk Chronicler