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JOHN RODEIEIER, Jr. - Alloeillo Editor.
THE SONG OF THANKSGIVING.
We’re thankful for a host of things
Too numerous to mention;
For sweethearts true and hearts to woo,
And all things worth attention.
For all and everything that gives
Our lives so much of pleasum
We offer thanks. Long may we taste
Thine overflowing measure.
OUR THANKSGIVING.
The morning came. It came as other
Thanksgiving mornings had come—with
fresh, frolicking winds and sunlight, and
blue skies; with merry voices, with cloud‘lem
faces and happy hearts.
Ircmombcr just how yellow and murky
the sunshine lay on the floors that morning,
and how I thought the wind walled about
the corners of the house—to me it had no
frolic. The children came in from play while
I was at work, all flushed and eager, and
happy, jostling and pushing each other good-
naturedly in the entry.
Dinner time came at last and they gathered
round the table gleefully—just as gleefully, I
thought, with a half bitterness, as if they
had all been there.
“Why, what's this for?" asked Harry,
stopping. “Mother, you’ve got one chair too
many.
“Hush, Harry—I know—don’t you sect”
and then Lucy finished her sentence in a
whisper.
Why had I done it; I hardly know. To
.lay the plates and set the chairs, and pass
that one plate by—that place that always
was by mine—it seemed hard. It was a very
little thing; but you know how dear these
little things become to women sometimes.
SoI hail put it there—the empty chair;
and with its pitiful, appealing blankness bc~
side me, I sat down to the festival meal. I
remember just how everything looked, as in .
a picture—my husband’s face, with its peaceL
ful smile, and the children grouped around in
the old places; and a flock of yellow sunlight
that had fallen in through the warm south
window upon the table cloth. I remember
everything. I know that John had just
bowed his head to ask a blessing on our food,
and the children’s eyes were closed, when I
saw—I saw as distinctly as I see this paper
upon which I write the words—a shadow fall
across the empty chair.
I turned my head, and I saw him, my dead
boy Willie. I know it was Willie. You need
not doubt me, for I tell you I cannot be mis—
taken. Should not I know him, 1, his
mother? I looked deep, deep into his eyes. I
saw the old, rare smile; I touched his own
bright curls upon his forehead; I spoke to
him; he spoke to me.
“Williel”
“Motheri”
The voice was breathless, but it was his.
“Williel Willie!" .
Again the old, rare smile. With one hand
he motioned silence. His father’s voice hushed
the amen, and the children looked up and
began their chatter.
“Did you speak to me, Mary?” asked my
husband.
“No.”
“Why, I thought some one spoke during
the blessing."
So they did not see him. I alone was
chosen. I looked into his face, smiling, smil-
ing down into mine so tenderly—you cannot
know how tenderly; but in his eyes I saw-—
and I thought my heart would break to see
it—a certain, sad, reproachful look, that I
had caught on his face once, years ago, when
I accused him of injustice of some trifling,
childish fault—a look that had haunted me
in many a still hour since. And then I heard
him say distinctly. though to not another
car was the breathless voice audible:
“I want them to be happy. I want you to
enjoy the day. Did you think I should not
be with you, mother?”
He was with me, thank God, and I was
happy. I talked, Ilaughed, I chatted with
the children; their merriment increased with
mine; my husband’s pale face lighted up; I
felt my own eyes sparkling. And all the
while, where they saw only that empty chair,
I saw the beautiful, still face and happy
smile. I saw him pleased with the old fa—
miliar customs. I saw him mindful of the
children’s jests. I saw his eyes full of their
own home love, turn from one to other
and back again to me—I saw and I was con-
tent. All that day he was beside me. He
followed us into the sitting room and took his
old seat by the cozy fire. He listened to his
father’s stories and watched the children at
their games, and joined us when we gathered
around the piano for our twilight song. I
heard his voice; the children asked what
made me sing so clearly.
THE CHILDREN COMING IN FROM PLAY.
Just as the shades began to fall heavily he
drew me toward 'him by the frost bound
window. He stooped and kissed me. He
took me in his arms and said, as he had said
before:
“Did you think I should not be with you,
mother?"
And then I missed him. I called to him,
but he did not answer. I stretched out my
arms to him, but he did not come back to
me. The room grew dark; my head swam;
I tattered over to my husband.
“Oh, J ohn! I have lost himl”
“Mary—why, Meryl what is the matter?”
and he caught me in his arms.
I looked up. I was not in the parlor by the
frost bound window; the children were not
beside me. The sitting room fire had died
down into the ashes; the door into the hall
was open, and my husband had on his over-
coat. He was holding me tightly in his
arms.
“I thought—oh, John! Johni” And then I
told him all my dream. When I had finished
he was still along time. then— ,
“Mary, perhaps the boy has been to you."
At this moment the clock on the mantel
struck 12. We listened to its strokes till the
last one died away.
“It is Thanksgiving morning," said my hus-
band, solemnly.
When tbo morning really came, with its
fresh, frolicking winds and sunlight, and
blue skies; with its merry faces and gay
voices, and the happy children rapping at my
door, I thought of what he said, “Perhaps
the boy has burn to you.” Sometimes I think
he must have been, so real and sweet is, even
now, the memory of his coming. All that
day he stood beside me. All that day I
saw his peaceful face, and felt the bios-
ing of his smile, and heard his low, sweet
voice. What for months 1 had looked upon
and feared with the bitterness of a great
dread, the face, and smile, and voice made
almost painless.
The children’s merry greetings did not hurt
me; my fingers did not tremble when they
twined the fresh green leaves about the walls.
. The older children went with us to church
that morning. The little church was very
still and pleasant, and somehow the service
stole away down into my heart. It was no '
eloquent preacher that we heard; only a
plain man, with God’s plaincst gifts of mind
and culture? But the day was real to him,
and I listened. A bit of Mrs. Browning’s
music kept singing itself in my soul:
I praise thee while my days go on.
I love thee while my days go on;
Through dark and dearth, through fire and frost.
With emptied arms and treasure lost,
I thank theo while my days go on.
I think that I did thank him—-—I who, only
last year, had sat there with my boy be-
side me.
I think that when the dear familiar words
flooded the church with harmony again, as
on that other morning. and John and I
clasped hands silently—I think we uttered
the old, old cry: “Blessed be the name of the
Lord.”
We stopped after church together where
the boy Wm lying, to let May lay down her
little green wreath, and I was glad that she
could do it calmly. Somehow I felt as if
tears would be profanation just then. Then
we went quietly home.
|
i
ESTABLISHED 1800.
‘ NORWALK
An Enterprising Republican Journal, especially devoted to Local News and Interests.
,-
NORWALK, CONN, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23 '1886.
GAZETTE.
Two DOLLARS A YEAR.
Number 47.
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Volume-LXXXvI.
Finis 5 happy none that day—as happy as
it could be when We did not see him. Yet I
knew he was there.
“Did you think I should not be with you,
mother?”
I heard it over and over; I hear it over and
over now; I shall bear it when the next
Thanksgiving sun brightens his grave. Ho
wished us to be happy; I know he was with
us. I think he always will be.-
Euznsrn Sruuu' PHELPS.
Ix
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M Villa
"‘5” (at,
I
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AN oilrsms: 'rnamrsruvnvo scam.
A HUMBLE THANKSGIVING.
We cannot show a grand array
of toothsome things Thanksgiving Day-
The day so very near;
Our little pantry will not boast
Delicious viands by the host
To every palate dear.
‘Nceth weight of all the good things known
Our little table will not groan,
No. not. the very least:
Our little home will not be blest
With many a welcome, joyous guest
To help us at the feast.
Yet, notwithstanding what we lack,
We’ll not regretfully look back
And sigh for better days:
But we will fill in every part
The spacious store roams of our heart
With gratitude and praise.
We‘ll count our present blessings o‘er,
And we shall find they number more
Than all our trials do;
Our happy, thoughtful hearts shall be
Delightful guests—right royally
They will reward us, too.
To seats we once did occupy
We‘ll not look up with wistful eye
And covetous unrest;
But bending low down our gaze
To poorer homes, to sadder ways,
Thank God we are so blcst.
Thank God that though our home is small.
It still contains the dear ones all,
Rich in afiection‘s wealth;
Thank God we have enough to eat,
Thank God for clothing warm and neat,
Thank God for perfect health.
Thank God we feel the fire‘s warm glow,
While many cold and tireless go
In many a checrlcm home.
Oh, yes, most gratefully we‘ll Kft
Our souls to God for every gift,
And trust forail to come.
Thus"round our frugal little board,
With cheerful hearts we‘ll pram the Lord
And keep the jubilee;
Nor shall there anywhere he found,
Within th "Q: nation‘s utmost bound,
A happier family.
Faun Pencrvan.
THE ORIGIN OF THANKSGIVING.
A Purely Puritan Festival of Rejoicing
Over “'orldly Things.
As if to resist the bitterness and sadness of
the failing your, the most genial and kindly
of all our festivals occurs at the end of No-
vember. Its very name, “Thanksgiving,” be-
trays its pious origin—an origin unmixed with
any prior tradition. The great Christian
festival of Christmas stretches backward to
yule logs and mistletoes, to Scandinavian and
Briton heathcnry; nor does it lose by the
graceful, happy association. But Thanks-
giving is purely Puritan. It is the good,
warm heart conquering the tough head and
ascetic manner of the old pilgrims.
In Elliott’s “New England History” you
may read that in 1623, after the harvest,
Governor Bradstreet sent out a company to
shoot game to furnish a dainty feast of re-
joicing after the labors of the colony. Have
ing followed the directions of the governor,
and the principle of the excellent Mrs. Glass,
they cooked their game and invited Massa-
soit and some ninety other savages, and all
fall to and devoured the feast. thanking God
“i or the goal world and the good things in
it.”
Think of that little shivering band clustered
on the bitter edge of the continent. with the
future before them almost as dark as the
forest behind them, many of them with such
long lines of happy memories in Old England
flashing across the sea into the gloom of their
present position like gleams of ruddy firelight
that stream for out of the cheerful chimney
into the cold winter night—and think of the
same festival now, when our govern-
ors and our president invite millions of
people to return thanks to the great giver of
harvests; and the millions of people obeying,
sacrifice hecatombs of turkeys and pumpkins
and pour out seas of cider and harmless wine.
GOOD OLD THANKSGIVING CALLING IN THE
POOR AND WEABY.
It might be dangerous to stake one’s repu-
tation upon the assertion that Thanksgiving
3 a strictly religious feast. It is a day of
practical rejoicing in the good things of this
world, and there may even be people whose
mouths are fuller of turkey than their hearts
of thanks. But every year the area of the
feast enlarges. Every year there are more
people who sit down to “groaning boards,” as
the reporters happily express it, upon occa-
sions of civic festivity.
Dear old Thanksgiving! Long and long may
his hospitable board be spread. Long and
long may he stand, benignant, at his door,
calling in the poor and the weary, the blind
and the lame, even as the old Puritans called in
Massasoit and ninety other savages. Rich in
blessings and reverend in years, may good
old Thanksgiving last with the continent,
knitting closer the ties of family and friend-
ship; its cheerfulness beaming like the smile
of a patriarch; its charity burning like a cen-
tral fire, warming all the year and fighting
up every dark day of care and sorrow.
THE MIKADO’S FATE.
A THANKSGIVING TRAGEDY.
It was about the first of November that the
big turkey, the Mikado of the farmyard, was
given a house all to himself and everybody
waited upon him in the most untiring man-
ner. At first he was somewhat astonished at
so marked a change in his fortunes. Such
extraordinary consideration as he now re-
ceived at evorybody’s hands amazed him for
a time, but he soon settled it in his mind on-
tirely to his satisfaction.
“Ilol hoi" he said. “Hal be! They have
just learned my worth. I have always known
that I was a great genius, with a brain as big
as a wash tub, and I think the other turkeys,
poor insignificant things, and the chickens,
sorry creatures, knew it also. At least, they
have all shown a wholesome respect for my
power, but I must admit that I have been
slow to imprem the people with my import-
ance. It has come at last, however. See
how they truckle to me, kow-tow to me, sup-
ply my every want almost before it is felt,
and make menials of themselves to cater
WIWEIWI’ .. -. .
. -‘a
This he said to himself as he walked by
himself. The other citizens of the farmyard
looked at him with glowering faces and the
bitterness of envy in their hearts.
had always tyrannized over them, and they
hated him with a hatred all the more
deadly because it was conccaled under the
mask of respect. Now, though he hadnevcr
done a humane or generous thing in his life,
they beheld him housed and feasted like a
king, with the sauce of admiration served up
tohim every hour. They couldn’t under-
stand it', they saw no justice in it, and they
murmured against it.
“on, I AM ms GREAT MIKAno."
A poor, hard working hen who had brought
up her family by the strictest economy and
most faithful industry, and who had been
robbed of her last bite again and again by
the heartless Mikado, spoke her mind about
it.
“It’s an outrage,” she said, “an outrage on
all decent fowls to see that brute of a Mi—
kado in clover up to his comb while the rest
of us scratch from morning till night merely
to kccplifo in our bodies. Such things are
rapidly creating an aristocracy of sex. In
the future when male and female are both
equal before the law there will be none of
this. But it’s the way of the world, and
always has been. The basest and least de~
serving get into power, because they are so
coarse that they can ride right over any
obstacle, having no sensibilities to wound. ”
Here a great swell of a cock, 0. monopolist
of high degree, looked away and pretended
not to bear; but the others listened attentive.
ly, sighed, and admitted that it was hard to
rise in the world while such monsters as the
Mikado had the power to oppress.
A middle-aged anarchist sputtered around
at a great rate; but as he had always talked
rather more than he should theyLdidn’t give
him the closest attention. A fair and fat hen
of good figure smiled scornfully, and said that
one could expect nothing but course vanity
from a person of really low pedigree like the
Mikado For her part, come what would, she
had the comforting knowledge that the blood
of the Brahmas flowed in her veins. Her an-
cestors were Asiatic kings. Then she strut-
ted around to show 03 her figure, which
really was perfect.
A young turkey, who was considered some-
thing of a crank because he wore glasses,
was greatly given to philosophy and meta--
physics, had gone so far as to lecture 11 little
and was thinking of starting a newspaper,
here piped up: “It is my opinion, friends,
that we are to blame for our lack of success.
The Mikado is merely carrying out the
theories of the new school of Boston thinkers
and the occultists of the east, which he has
dropped on, I verily believe, through my
teaching. He has a powerful will, and he has
secretly and persistently demanded the good
things of life and is getting them. The great
force, my friends, is mind. But while we
have been talking about it, he, like the pirate
he is, has grabbed the idea and put it into
operation.”
An Md and opinionated cat that had been
apparently sleeping on a fence post now had
a word to say. “You are very inexperienced
creatures. When you have lived as long as I
have (which none of you are likely to do, I
am sorry to say,.for reasons it would be in-
dclicato now to mention) you will know that
what appears sometimes to be great good for-
tune is rcally the greatest curse that could
befall us. I will not here go into particulars,
but I will cntreat you not to be envious of the
Mikado. This is a very dramatic world. The
man who is up today may be down to—mor—
row. Envy no one. Perhaps your hard lot
is better a thousand times for your soul’s good
than the wealth of a Gould or a. Vanderbilt,
or even the Mikado. Ben Franklin spoke
wisely when he said:
He that is down need fear no fall,
He that is humble nonent all."
Just then the Mikado, whose doors had been
opened by the beautiful daughter of the house
to give him an hour’s walk in the sunshine,
came near them with lordly gait, head erect
and wings scraping the earth in overwhelm-
ing pride. In spite of the cat’s sermon on
humility , in the face of the fact that they
' knew she spoke the truth, they felt shrivelcd
and mean in the presence of this patted and
admired creature. He walked near them,
smiled scornfully, and said:
Stand out of the way, you creatures small,
Stand out of the way of my shadow;
For I am the king and boss of all,
Oh, I am the great Mikado.
And they stood out of his way, though
here and there was one who could not re-
frain from shedding tears, so deep was his
humiliation.
The mistress of the house, accompanied by
a. friend, just then appeared on the other
side of the fence, and the object of their at-
tention seemed to be the Mikad . He wasn’t
slow to show his appreciation of the dis-
tinction, either. He strutted and gobbled
in the most pompous and self-grahrlatory
way.
THE MIKADO AT THE-FEAST.
“Isn’t he magnificent?” said the visitor. “I
should think he would weigh nearly twenty
pounds. 0h, isn’t he a treasure?”
The Mikado heard this remark and almost
fainted with delight. “Ah,” he thought, “I
was right in always believing myself an im-
portant personage. Ihear it now from the
lips of those who have heretofore pretended
to be my superiors.”
“What do you feed him on!” asked the
visitor.
“Oat meal scalded in hot milk and various
little dainties. It’s a joy to see him eat.”
At this the Mikado felt himself bursting
with pride.
“My daughter is to be married on Thanks-
giving day, and he is to be the great feature
of the table,” said the hostess.
“Oh, my,” thought the Mikado, “won’t that
be fine?” I am to figure at a. wedding, to be
the great feature of the whole proceeding, it
seems. I must order something nice to wear.”
The cat on the fence post also heard, but
she only licked her lips and smiled knowingly.
The days went on and the Mikado only
grow fatter and more domineering every
hour, and the other fowls became more and
more cast down.
On Thanksgiving morning his doors were
opened and he was invited to come forth.
This was the day on which he was to receiye
greater honors than ever, and he waddled
out, cumbered by his excessive flesh, with
more arrogance than usual. He was a litfie
surprised when the hired man grabbed him
by the legs and suddenly inverted him. It
was an undignified attitude for a bird of his
plumage, to say the least; but be reflected a
moment and concluded that it was but fit
ting, after all, for a creature of his distinc-
tion to be carried, and of course this awk-
ward fellow didn’t know how to carry him
gracefully or even comfortably.
He had no time to frame other thoughts,
for in a moment more the hired man had us
sassinated him, and his head was lying on
one side of the chopping block and his body
on the other.
His late envious associates ran in all direc-
tions, chilled with horror. nor were they seen
again that day. He graced the feast, to be
sure; he was the great feature of it, but not
in the capacity he had so conceitcdly antici-
pated. Instead of the fine suit of fashionable
garments he had expected to be arrayed in,
he appeared shorn of his feathers, with his
skin cruelly browned and his legs cut oil at
tho knccs, a sorry and humbled Mikado,
surely. _
In a short time his very memory was for-
gotten, or recalled only with a sneer, or to be
cited as an example of what conceit will bring
any one to.
Tile day after Thanksgiving there was a
little talk over his head and his bones, which
were found in a. ditch by his despised com-
rades. llis fate was a lesson to them.
“After all,” said one, “we might have
known that such a sudden rise into affluence
could bode no good. Up liken rocket and
down like a stick, you know. "
“Do you remember my words,” said the
cat, who came strolling along, bulging in
body more than usual from having enjoyed
extraordinary Thanksgiving blessings. “I
told you to envy no one; that it was a
dangerous thing to reach such eminence as
the Mikado enjoyed. Poor fool, he did enjoy
it while it lasted.” _ , ,
I
110 '
"Could it be," said the young turkey with
5 the eyeglasses and taste for metaphysics,
' “could it be that my doctrines led him
astray? Still, he was a good illustration of
the truth of what I have been preaching-—
that if you persistently desire the best you
will get it. But the best, in his case, didn’t
seem to be really good for him, after all, and
now the question arises: ‘Is it good for any
of us? I must admit that I am somcuimt
confused on this point, and, in spite of the
Mikado's grave fan is of character, I lann at.
he tragedy in which he was the victim. For
some reason, his death was the OL‘i'l‘hIUEI of
;_‘;r'i:l".‘:ll rejoicing in the house, and I ll are
even picked up a word here and there which
goes to show that the people who were the
cause of his death gave thanks over his body.
They actually called the (lay ‘Thanksgiring,’
so grateful were they that he was gone. Por-
hapn they feared that in his excessive love of
power he would rise some day, seize the
reins of g()TCi‘lllll"‘2L, and trample them all
under his feet. If so, I half excuse the
murder, though I am too much of a Bud-
dhist to sympathize with a festival which
saw-lions the destruction of living creatures,
al the eating of them, too. In the round of
oxide-nee, (Ii-pend upon it, my friends, all such
things are cvcncd up. They who kill shall
be killed in turn; it not in this life, in seine
embodiment in the far future.”
TIIE TALK OVER HIS HEAD AND BONES.
The hen who was in favpr of equal suffrage
said that after all there were compensations
in life. She still held her old views; but she
had learned a lesson in patience. Her dream
of political equality would be realized; but
she must wait, and while she waited work as
well as talk. A very aged old bird of no par-
ticular lineage cleared his throat just then.
As he was generally silent, he commanded
great attention when he did speak. He said:
“You are getting on to the true philosophy of
life at last. Agitation 'docsn’t accomplish
half as much as people think it does. The in-
fluenccs which really move the world are
subtle. Your talkers think they revolution-
ize the world; but the real power comes from
higher, much higher” -— and he subsided
into silence.
The noted anarchist rooster had nothing at
all to say until his views were called for.
Even then he evaded it until cornered and
compelled to talk. Then be straightened up
and put on his old time, important manner.
“It is the beginning of the end, my friends,”
he said. “Monsters like the Mikado die of
their own greed. They are their own execu—
tiouers. Had he divided his abundance with
us we would all have had a layer or so of the
fat which encumbered him and brought him
to grief, and he might have been alive to—day.
But, no—he must have the earth. Nothing
was too much for him. We had to starve
that he might live. All of you can testify
that he lived upon the proceeds of your labor,
for you scratched and he came along just as
your bite was ready for your mouth and
snatched it from you, and you dared not say
your souls were your own.”
“But what of the lady with the purest blood
of Asia in her veins?” asked a dapper young
cock. “I haven’t seen her to-day.”
“Nor have I,” said a dozen voices. Here
the cat spoke a ain. “ I am sorry to say that
our fair friend as shared the Mikado’s fate.
The chief cause of pride with her proved her
ruin. Her good blood gave her a fine figure,
and the people of this country are a. flesh-eat-
ing race. ' hey have no scruples against eat-
ing any of you who are so unfortunate as to
possess sweet, clean flesh. So you see that it
is never safe to boast.”
“Oh, dear; what a difficult and dangerous
world to live in i” said all in one voice.
The old house dog, who was fond of Shakes-
peare, came on the scene, sniffed contemptu-
ously at the Mikado’s bones, and said: “Alas!
he lived for self, and now none are so poor as
to do him reverence.”
Cannons. Gsnmson.
Illlll
A THANKSGIVING NIGHTMARE.
FOR WHAT SHALL WE BE THANKFUL?
Some Old, 0ft Repeated Questions, and
Their Unfashlona‘ble Answers.
“For what shall we be thankful?” say the
sorrowing. “Grief abideth with us, and in
our hearts is the bitterness of continual
trouble.”
“For what shall we be thankful?" say the
poor. “The earth overflows with plenty, but
we are destitute. Cold and hunger is our
portion, and want is our companion all the
days of the year."
“For what shall we be thankful?” say the
hopeless. “The days go on, but they bring us
no joy. The sun and the moon traverse the
heavens without warming our chilled hearts
or lighting our dark pathway.”
“For what shall we be thankful?” say the
disappointed. “Wherever we turn, there,
waiting to dishearten us, lurks disappoint
meat. When we rise be it is that causes us
again to fall. ”
“For what shall we be thankful?" say tho
tempted. the mistaken, the fallen. “Our
temptations have overcome us; our mistakes
have destroyed us; our sins have crushed us.
For us there is nothing left but wretchedness.”
“For what shall we be thankful?” say the
baffled. When we strivb we fail; when we
pray no answer comes; when we hepe our
hopes are never realized; when we love our
loves are lost to us.”
“For what shall we be thankful?” say the
bereaved. “Death has robbed us and left as
meaning. Our sore hearts cannot take up
the cry of rejoicing, for we weep uncom-
fcri‘cd.”
“For what shall we be thankful?” so the
sick. f“Wo sniffer sad lnéoglnqiease. V e are
full 0 an ' nig an .
“For \vialésshall we thankzlli" say the per-
secuted. “Our enemies outnumber us; our
burdens are greater than we can bear.”
“For what shall we thankful?” so. the
weary, the wounded, the forsaken, the eav
of heart. “For us there is no rest, no hop 1-
ness, no help. Wearine- is our portion and
burdens our inheritance. We have no cause
for rejoicing from the beginning of the year
to the end.’
For these, for all these, it is written: “Rest
in the Lord. 0h, rest in the Lord. Wait -
tiently for Him and He shall give thee t y
heart’s desire.”
To those. to all these, the promise has been
given. To these the words from a plain old
sermon come with power to heal: There is
still heaven to be thankful for. Whatever
sorrows bereave us here whatever fatal misr
takes darken our lives, whatever irredeemable
losses befall us, we may et rest in the Lord,
and wait patiently for in the little life
that remains; for beyond this world’s gain or
loss, high in the serene air of heaven, when ex-
istence ceases to be a lesson and becomes vivid
life, there and only there shall He give us our
heart‘s desire in its immortal fullness. Here
knowledge is defiled, love is im ect, urity
the result of fiery trial, Wealt into
covetousness; but in heaven is thev native
country of pure knowledge perfect ove, u
ter sinlcssness, and riches that neither mo
nor rust corrupt, that bless and man not."
The Abstemious Arab.
How is it that Arabs contrive to
live in the waterless deserts of that
much-talked-of-region? They are, to
begin with, abstemious in their habits,
and know every crevice and hollow in
the hills where water will collect. They
regard this fluid more, perhaps, in the
light of a luxury than as a necessity,
and use it with wonderful economy.
They would never think of wasting it
on the exterior of their bodies, and con-
sider that once in forty-eight hours is
often enough to replenish the inner
man. General Colston tells us that
when Bedouins came to his camp water
Would be ofiered them, but would often
be refused with the remark that the
visitor had drunk yesterday. By culti-
vating this habit of abstemiousness,
they are able to cover immense dis
tances, which would be impossible for
a European, unless he were accompan-
ied by baggageanimals.
...
intelligible word.
CZESAR’SVIRGINIA TURKEY
Cesar Alexander ‘Shakewell, a colored
citizen of Bridgevh'ie, owned no turkeys, and
his richer white neighbors had put theirs in
special security as Thanksgiving Day drew
near. Mrs. Shakewell kept nagging Cesar
about a turkey until be determined to have
one before another sun set, at any cost. He
sat down before the fire in the twilight to
study out some plan of action on the import.
ant question.
It came to him quite readily, it appears, for
all at once he found himself carrying it out.
He had noticed a loose board on Col. Fair-
grove’s back fenc'o the day before. The Fair-
groves were easy-going people, not much
given to hammer and nails, and they would
be sure to have a turkey in a coop in the
backyard getting ready for the alumni feast.
Sure enough, the board fell off at the bid-
ding of his brawny am, and tin-re in a pen
in the corner was the bird of his hupcs. The
slats of his coop dropped before the same po-
tent force, as though they had been more
ravclings. I: was no trouble at all in to tie
his legs, cover his body with an old bag and
slip quietly away with him. Once at home
Caesar Alexander put him in a box-cl and
laid heavy sticks of wwd on tho opta top.
Then he called to his wife to come and see
him and to quit “jorrin‘ ” him clout their
Thanksgiving dinner.
She appeared, looked at the bir-l with eyes
like saucers, and then grew v. r} grave.
“Whar did yo git him?" she mkcd, with
something like awe in/hcr vol-c.
“Worked for ’im, 0’ course," said her gen-
tlo'spouso, with a sneer. “Knowcd all the
time dat I was to git ’im; but you had to hcv
yer till 0’ jorrin’ and complainin’ at me for a
wuthless nigger. 'Knowcd it was in use to
tell yo. Yo wouldn‘t b’lievo me till l.. mm:- .”
Mrs. Shakowcll looked at her husband, a
fresh well of admiration springing in in Izcl‘
heart. He was a superior creature, to be
sure; she would never doubt it again.
HE HELD 11' DP WITH PRIDE AND JOY.
Before going to bed Cesar Alexander went
into his small yard, lifted a stick or two of
wood from the tnrkey’s barrel and took a
long and fond look at his prize. Suddenly a
hand was laid on his shoulder, and he turned
with quaking knees, expecting to face thg
village constable; but dark as it was he coul
see that the hand belonged to a gentleman of
his own color, though one with whom he was
entirely unacquainted—‘h kind of old fash-
ioned lookin’ nigger,” he said when telling the
story afterward. Reasured to find that it
wasn’t the law he had to confront, he put
considerable bravado into his voice as he said:
“Who are ye, anyhow; and what d’ye want
in a gemman’s yard at night! It’s forenenst
the law to creep aroun’ honest folks’ houses
on the sly that way.”
“Caesari Caesar!” said the other, without
appearing in the least intimidated; “I am one
of yer aincestors, from ’way back, and I can’t
come to yer in daytime because I’ve been dead
a long time.”
Here Caesar’s tooth chattcred and his leg!
gave way under him.
“Brace up i” said the ancestor, slapping him
on the shoulder. “Brace up! I'm here for
er good, not for or harm. I want ya to
erry that turkey ack. Yo’ve done some-
thing to disgrace the name of Shakewcll, and
I won’t stand it. The constable will be down
onto ye to-morrow mornin’ Tom 8 o'clock if ya
don’t, an’ there’ll be a neighborhood scandal
about this bird that’ll make the whole race 0’
Shakewells shake in their graves. Czesar!
for the sake of your proud and honorable ain-
costors take that bird back, and tomorrow
take yer gun and go to the woods and git one
o‘ the turkeys uv yer fathers—311‘ its a bird
that no nigger ought to turn up his nose at,
either."
Here the “aincestor” sniffed delightcdly at
something invisible something in is mem-
ory apparently, and then went on:
“It’s a bird dot no man owns; it’s do true
Vah iniah turkey. ’Tim’t a feathered bird;
’tisn' a fowl at all. It. wears fur, an’ has
fifty teeth, a bristly tongue, 11 long prehensi-
ble tail—you see, Caesar, ycr ninccstor
had lamin’a-amd plantigrado feet, Caesar, it
has )lantigrado feet.”
“6gb!” said Caesar, too dazed to utter an
The “aincestor” continued: “Its feet has
as many toes on each foot as a. man, and
long, sharp claws on ever ' toe ’ccpt its inside
one. It uses (lat as a thum . It is a marsu
turkey, Caesar.” Here the ancestor mail at
the towering proportions of his own learning,
but present tal 'cd on.
“Alive it as an odor yc cad’t mistake, an’
roasted he smells better nor a flower garden.
He’sa bird worth givin’ thanks ov . Now,
take dat ole, droopin’, whim [oil ' turkey
backto his yowncr, and go out tor-naorrah and
git do ’possuni. do ’riginal turkey cb old Vali-
giniah, do turkey of yer fathcrs"—and, [oi the
ancestor vanished.
Perspiring at. every porc Cesar Alexander
shouldered the turkey and started toward
Col. Fairgrovc’s. Just as he was about to
enter the yard, through the break in the
fence previously made by himself, he felt
another band laid on his shoulder with con-
siderable emphasis. Fearing that another
and still more terrible ancestor was about to
have speech with him, he soul: to the earth,
without daring to look around. Then the
hand grabbed him more firm] y and gave him
a vigorous shake. He looked up appealingly
and confrontcd the constable. Vizh u groan
he fainted dead awe .
“What yo groanin and carrying on like an
animal furl” was the next thing he heard.
The question was propounded in his wife’s
most ungentle voice.
He opened his eyes slowly and in abject
fear, and found himself sitting by his own
firesrde, the children in bed and Mrs. Shake-
well standin by him with her hand on his
shoulder. 0 never was so happy in his life.
Col. Fairgrove’s turkey was safe where it
longed; he had never stolen it, and he hadn‘t
met any dead and gone ancestor at all, only
in dreams. Furthermore, he inwardly re-
solved that he never would, if ancestors’ visits
only followed thefts. ,
The next day when he set of with his gun
he told Mrs. Shakcwell that he would bring
home a “Vahginiah” turkey. And he did.
He held it up with pride and joy on his re-
turn. and was rewarded by a smile from that
exacting lady. .
The ’ was eaten with gravy and
grace, and Mr. Shakewell‘s standing in the
community remained unimpaired. As _he
bent over his own fragrant thanksgivm
board he had more than usual cause for grat -
tude. “Vahginiah turkeys was good enough
for my fathers, and good 'nough. fer me " he
often says; but though he sometimes tells of
the encounter with his ancestor, he never
tells of the cause of that worthy individual'l
visit to him. Max Enron.
”—r“’>—.—’—.—
Workers in Aniline Dyes.
Makers of aniline dyes are subject to
poisoning by the vapors given oil by
this substance in the process of manu-
facture. It is an artificial. product,
made by distilling together nitrmben-
zine, acetic acid and iron-filings. The
base, aniline, thus obtained, is acted
upon by arsenic, bicl'oride of tin, potas-
sium bichromate and other deadly
poisons, producing the brilliant dyes
now so well-known under the names of
magenta, solferino, fuchsine, etc. Many
of the symptoms complained of by em.
ployes in aniline works are due to the
arsenic employed. Others are occa-
sioned by the vapors of aniline itself.
The latter are violent headaches, nausea
and vomiting. Dizziness is often pres-
ent, but relieved by going into the
fresh air. Some become partially un-
conscious, like a person half drunk
from alcohol, and mutter incoherently.
'Tney generally recover in an hour or
two, but must sleep. Occasionally con-
vulsions, like those of epilepsy, are ob-
served. These severe symptoms are
usually experienced but once and dis-
appear after a week or two; but others
have them over again, whenever they
are overworked or in hot weather. All
the hands suffer in health if they con-
tinue many months at this work.
Chronic dyspepsia and general lack
of strength are induced. Those who
suifer frequently or severely ought to
abandon the employment. The rooms
should be large and ventilated as freely
as possible, and every workman should
wear a “respirator,” in the shape of a
cloth wet in an alkaline solution, over
the mouth and nostrils.
PEA?“ WITE
1' n A n :- ‘V "‘Y
M AH K , WRAPPER
GLYcl-z RINE
is a pearly white,
semi-transparent
fluid. havmc’ a re-
markable affinity
or. the skin. The
only article yet
knowntochemlstry
that will‘ penetrate
theskanlTEOU'l‘
INJURY.
Ballads; the Complexion,
Indicates all menus, Ten, Moth
Patel-es, Black om, Imp ties and m.—
coloration- of flagellum], either within or
II In
skin pure.
(Al-at Instantly) Sub-n, Prleklyfleet, Olav- '
MM or (ll-fed Bills infutitsrelalu
uponalldueues ofthelklnare mm!-
P E A R l. ’ S
White Glycerine
SOAP,
”museum-o
Mandwhite.
Ask Your
For It.
Aftr I I g
MIPS VIII?! ancient: 60., noramlv “Vim".
age, and we will malt. you free, a roya
valuable sample box of goods that wi
put you in the way of making more money in a few.
days than you ever thou at possible at an business
Capital not required. on can live at ome and
work in spire tune on] , or all the time. All of both
sexes. of al ages,gran ly successful, 60 cents to as
easily earned every evening. That all who want
work may test the business, we make this unparal-
leled offer: To all who are not well satisfied wewlll
send $1 to pay for the trouble of writing us. Full
particulars, directions etc., sent free. Immense pay
absolutely sure for all who start at once. Don’tde-
lay. Address. ernson lb 00.. Portland. Maine.
in presents given away. send as 5
cents postage. and by man you will
2 getfree a pvckage of goods of large
value, that will start on in workvthat will at once
bring you in money aster than anything else in
America. All about the ”00,000 in presents with
each box. Agents wanted everywhere, of either
sex, of all ages, for all the time or spare time only,
to work for us at their own homes. Fortunes for
all workers absolutely assured. Don't delay. H.
damn a 00.. Portland, Maine.
fields are source, but those who write (0
Samoa A 00.. Portland, Mainemill receive
" free, full information about work which
‘ they can do. and live at homedhst will pay
than: from $5 to $25 per day. Some have
earned overmia a day. Either sex. young ovoid. Capital
not required. You are started free. Those who start It once
an absolutely sun of can; little fortunes. All is new.
M. BOHWAB.
OPTICIAN and OCULIST,
HELP!“ working people. Send 10 cents pos
WILL BE AT NORWALK.
November 17 and 18, 1886,
At Norwalk Hotel.
Havingqualifled myself by years of hard study
in the best institutions in Europe, and having had a
practical experience of twenty-five years in mi
country, I am enabled at first sight to adapt lense
most appropriate to restore the vision to its origins
vigor and cure all the various diseases of the eye
I ave therefore combined my practice of an
Ocuiist with that of an Optician, and am now en-
abled to furnished all kinds of lenses and styles of
Spectacles and Eye.Giasses which are made to
order under my own supervision. to suit my ous—
omers’ visionary ailments.
Consultation Free.
References—Geo. G. Bishop. Charles Olmstead
ex—Deputy Sherifi' Charles Adams, Mr. Clarence
Nash with J. F. Bennet. Gen. D. N. Couch, Mrs.
W. K. James. Dr. E. C. Clarke.
The Bestin the World.
Sperry & Barnes’
Hams,
Shoulders,
Breakfast
Bacon,
———AND———
Sausage
ARE GUARANTEED
THE BESl
IN
THE MARKET
Our KETTLE LARD is Strictly Pure
and Free from all Adulteration.
Look Carefully for the Brand.
We manufacture all goods bearing our brand at
our packing house in New Haven. tfss
Sperry 8: Barns, New Haven, 001111.
Geo. S. Gregory.
L ivery. Boarding, Sale.
Feed and Exchange
Stables.
(.nrear of Horse Car Depot),
NORWAIR, CONN.
Carriages furnished 111 hours.
neutron and gentlemanly drivers.
F. W. J AQUI, JR.,
DEALER IN
Stoves, Portable & Brill-Set Ranges,
Furnaces and Steam Heaters,
Tin, Sheet Iron, Copper, Wooden, Glass
and Crockery Ware.
REFRIGERATORS & HOUSE FURNISHING GOODS
Generally. A Full line of
CHILDREN'S CARRIAGES.
Plumbing. Gas and Steam Fitting. and Hot Air
Engineering. Agent for the Richardson
a Boynton Co’s.
Furnaces and Ranges,
Also agent for the Economy
STEAM dz WARM Ara COMBINATION Hanan-
All kinds of Ornamental and Plain Slatelng, Tin
and Tin Shingle Rooting.
Repairing. Done by Experienced Workman at
Short Notice.
53 ”GILL STREET.
NORWALK. CONN.
Ooartcon
1!
same UNABLE to meanness
H A R N E S 5
To compete with large concerns, I have taken tn
agency of one of the oldest and largest estab-
lishments in the state for the sale of
Harness.5addles Halters, Sar-
cingles, Goflars, so.
I shall also Make
Fine Harness to Order
as usual. at the old stand,
No. 7 WATER STREET,
where I will kee a regular line of Whips, Sponges
Chamois, iankets, Robes Feed Bags,
Traveling Bags, 1:. '
J. F. Peokwell’.
Money to Loan.
En sire of 0. E. WILSON,N0. 3 Gazette Build-
, orwalk. Cone. tfls
J. G. Gregory 8; 00.
Drugs, Proprietary Medicines and Drugglsts'
Sundries they are prepared to receive
orders for
Silk, Cotton or Linen
ELASTIC HOSE
For varicose or enlarged veins. Warranted to
lit, and at. reduced rates.
They also desire to state that they have accepicd
the agency of the New York Vaccine 00., and will
keep a supply of
PURE BIWINEVIUUINE VIRUS
Constantly on hand.
They have in stock Electric Batteries, which
will be sold at close figures. The]; as also a full
assortment of Keystone Writing aper ackets.
Huss Bros.,
Restaurant, tale and Smoking Room,
Grand Central Station,
421) Smear AND 4m Avenue, New Yonx
Entrance from waitin room, New York. New
Haven and Hartford ra road. mm
It oh. Bails r I100
MANUFACTURERS AND DEALERS IN:
LUMBER, nun,
Shingles, La th,
Doors, Sash,
Bl in (ls, ./l[o¢tl(ling,
Window Frames,
Pickets, do.
VE’lEEISII Halli Wand Work.
Hard Wood Calling and Flaming.
South Norwalk, Conn.
Seven Years Experience 11 U. S. Patent Office.
Geo. R. Byington,
SOLICITOR OF
PATENTS.
Fireman’s Insurance Building,
WASHINGTON. D. C.
Extenslon Cases before Congress a Sperlnlly
CHOICE
Building Lots
F‘OR fidfiLm
On Wilton Avenue
Apply to
B. J. STURGES. or 0. E.WILSON,
GAZETTE BUILDING art
F. H. PECK WELL,
ARCHITECT
N0. 7 WATER STREET,
{AGENT FOR
Gill ert Lock Company.
Dibble Manufacturing Company’s door
knobs.
New York Wood Turning Company.
Corner Blocks for window casings.
Round and Square Turned Balusters.
‘_‘ “ “ “ Newels.
Plain and Double Moulded Stair Rails.
Also Flat Moulded Door and Window
Casings furnished at. short notice.
GENERAL MARKET.
Meat, Fish, Vegetables.l&c.
LOCKWOOD it ANDREWS.
MAIN STREET.
All kinds of the best qualities of Meats, Fish,
Clams, Vegetables, etc., are kept constantly on
hand. and will be sold by us as low as can be pro-
cured at any market in Norwaik. We intend to
prove to our customers that we deserve their
patronage by fair and generous dealing.
ly40 LOCKWOOD Jr- ANDREWS.
Lessors IN FRENCH,
MISS BAIRD’S INSTITUTE.
Prof. LaLcmdc,
Widely known as the director of the French Depart-
ment of the Summer School of Languages at
Chatauqua. will come twice a week to Miss Baird’s
Institute to give Lessons in French. A limited
number of upils outside of the school will be
admitted to t ese classes.
For circulars and other information apply to
Miss N. F. BAIRD.
JOHN II. S 33 l'l'H,
FLORIST,
EAST SIDE 01“ MAIN STREET. SOUTH
OF RAILROAD
Olly of South Nor-walk. Collin,
Plants &Flowers at all seasons
Flowers for Funerals furnished and tastefully
arranged to order at short notice.
maybe found n
file at Gm. ‘l’.
gills PAPER W... . ..
ewspaper Advertising Bureau (10 Spruce
t).whereadver-
mm... new run
be for it in . .1
Factory to Lat.
24 Dozen Hat Factory, with 25 Horse Power
Boiler, will be let on reasonable terms. Can
be used and is suitable for other purposes.
Apply or address,
JOSEPH SHEPHERD,
Norwalk, Conn.
“35
Desire to state that In addition to a full line of
/
Absolutely Pure.
This Powder never varies. A marvel of pure
strength and wholesomeness. More economic
than the ordinary kinds, and cannot be sold in com-
petition with the multitude, of low test, short
weight, ailum or phosphate powders. '
ROYAL BAKING Pownsa 00.,106 Wall St, N. Y.
n. n. cnavnunn,
mvn's'rnmv'r sncunrrms, REAL
ESTATE AND INSURANCE,
31 MAIN STREET, - -. soawamx.
Gm O.WARD Bill-DECK,
nannsnesoox’s BILOOK. mu. smear,
FAMILY GROCERIES.
J. BELDEN .HURLBUTT,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law,
Room No. 4, Up Stairs,
GAZETTE BUILDING, NORWALK, CONN
JAMES '1'. RUBBELL,
Attorney and Counselor at Law
3 Gazette Building,
NORWALK, - CONN.
ALEX. s. GIBSON,
Organist of 1st Conggga’iiigrnaerhurcn, Waterbury,
. no 0
Pianeforte, Organ and Musical
Composition,
Lock Box 39 P. 0., NORWALK, CONN.
E. WHITWOIITII,
Successor to 13. Conn,
MERCHANT TAILOR,
WEEKS' BUILDING, WALL STREET.
A FULL LINE or
Imported and Domestic Cloths.
Of the . Latest Styles. constantly on hand.
Novelties 1n Scotch Suitings. Satisfaction guaran-
teed in every particular.
PENSIONS
——2AND:—
Government Claims.
My sole business. Thousands have Ri bts
Neglected. Address, free of charge, or visit, g
GEN. W. E. NOBLE,
91 Stratford Avenue, Bridgeport, Conn
W. H. MEEKER.
54 Main Street,
SOUTH NORWALK. CONN,
Practical Plumber,
Steam and Gas Fitters, Dealers in Plumbers’ and
Steam Fitters’ Supplies. and Gas Fixtures.
Jobbing promptly attended to. 1
o. E. WILSON,
General Insurance It Real Estate Agent
Money to Loan.
Room No. 3 Gazette Building, Nor-walk, Conn.
‘TNA INSURANCE Co., of HARTFORD.
Incorporated 1812. Charter Perpetual.
CAPITAL AND ASSETS, $8,902,272.84.
Insures against loss and damage by Fire, on
terms adopted to the hazard and consistent with
tile laws of compensation. COWLES at MERRILL,
Sole Agents for Norwalk and vicinity.
THE
Norwalk Fire Insurance Co.
Ilas now completed its
18th SUGGESSFUL BUSINESS YEAR
And has not outstanding a dollar of unpaid losses
or claims for losses. No sound company insures
for less.
W. C. Smear, Pres. S. E. OLMSTEAD, Trees,
Geo. R. Cowmas, Secretary.
A. CARD.
Having purzsased the
FURNITURE BUSIN 188,
Recently carried on by WILLIAM Locxwoon at
No. 36 MAIN STREET,
I am prepared to meet the wants of all prospective
purchasers of furniture, both STAPLE AND
ORNAMENTAL. I have on hand a large
stock which I will sell
VERY CHEAP FOR. CASE
1 shallbe pleased to meet an old or new friends
and will guarantee satisfactionin
every case.
ghosts H. RAYMOND.
PETE ll. L. GUIG UE,
FLURIST lNU 8+ YMIN,
UNION AVENUE,
North of Norwaik Cemetery,
NGRWALE, - - CONN.
Dealerinln Green House and Hot House and
Bedding and Vegetable Plants, Fruit and Ornamen
tal Trees Shrnbbery, Vines. Cut Flowers away
on hand and all sorts of designs in Flowers arranged
to order. 41y2
Grading and Re-filling Cemetery Plots
promptly attended to.
FOR SALE.
A STYLISH
VICTORIA,
Newly Trimmed and Painted.
A Fine Family Carriage.
Will be sold at a very low price.
HENRY TILLY,
CARRIAGE MAKER,
SOUTH NOR WALK.
FREDERICK A. Harenr,
Formerly of New York
Stock Ex.
Rossnr B. Bscn.
Theo. Haight & Co.
BANKERS it BROKERS.
4'7 BROADWAY.
Transact a General Banking business bu and s
Stooks. Bonds or Oil for cash or all mgr-gins. ell
Stock trades can be made in ten shares and up-
wards on the Consolidated Stock and Petrole-
um Exchange.
CODIDIISSION, 1-16 EACH \VAY.
' Orders executed in Grain at New York and
Chicago. 3m32
Tnsononn linear,
Mem. of Con. Stock and
Pet. Ex.
Don’t DO It!
Don’t send your laundry work out of town when
you can have it done at home in, in first-class style
and at reasonable prices. Call or send for price
l‘llsgi-mggopg rpust begtnthe laundry by Thursday
nsure e ver on S to a .
evenings until 8 o’clock. y a m y Open
Old Well Laundry,
GEO. W. HALLOGK, Manager.
87 WASHINGTON STREET, SOUTH NORWALK.
-Elunbsums -
Made of Orleans—Tally.
' Trade winds—Drummers’ remarks.
A cross old bachelor suggests that
irths should be announce under the
ead of new music.
A. voice comes from Arizona saying,
t‘Send us wives!” and a. thousand un-
happy Benedicts respond, “,Take ours 1”
Our religious editor wants any young
lady who. “Jumps at conclusmns ” to
consider him a “ conclusion.” An orphan
is preferred.
N ice life a married then leads when
eve time he asks his Wife for a cup of
tfiam e knows she’ll make it hot for
g The backbone of Summer may not be
exactly broken; but it is hunting for a
cooler place and with some show of
success.
. “ I’ve been diggin over my garden,”
said Bro “an I’m worn out.”
“Ah!” remar ed Fogg; “a new variety
of earthenware, eh ? ’
Lessons in manners: Small boy—
“ Ma, pass the bread.” Ma, sternly—
“ If what, my son ?” Small boy, smartly
—“ If you can reach it, ma.”
Citizen (to bartender -“ What effect
does this closing on ‘unday have on
your busmess ?” Bartender—“ It gives
us too much to do Saturday nigh .”
When a man was braggin about his
tortorse shell cat that could 0 so many
tricks, another inquired who tortoise
shell cat to perform in that way.
Business men who marry their type-
wnter girls are apt to find that the
young women are not so ready to sub
mit to dictation after the wedding.
Some one says “an umbrella will last
far longer if, when wet, it is placed
handle downward.” This recipe may
be very good, but looking it up will
make it last longer.
The body of a human being contains
over two pounds of lime. That of a
politician will average about four
pounds when his character has been
thoroughly whitewashed.
Old gentleman (to boys “Aren’t
you boys rather old to be playing so
childish a game as mumble-the-bag ?”
One of the boys-“ We’re playing for
twenty-five cents a game.”
Not wisely, but too well. “ What’s
home rule, John,” asked his wife at tea,
“ that the papers talk of so ?” John
looked as sad as he could be and groaned
1n utter mlsery, “ I wish I didn’t know.”
The little one, being a guest of her
grandma, had been liberally feasted,
when a. second dish of puddin came
on. Looking at the steaming ish, she
exclaimed With a. sigh, “Gran um I wish
I was twins.”
“My dear, its going to rain again.”
“ What makes you think so, Mr. Duseu-
berry?” “Because my bunions ache.”
“For shame, Mr. Dusenberry! You are
at the table!” “Humph! So are my
bunions.”
There is a girl in this town who has
only been in this country three months
and she can speak the English language
fluently, it coming to her naturally
from wearing bustles made of English
' speaking newspapers.
If St. Peter were to come down and
receive the appointment of New York
Commissioner of Public Works how the
opposition papers would revive that
rooster story. Perhaps it is just as
Evell that St. Peter is already provided
or.
The eneral belief that home is a.
lonely p ace Without a mother we reckon
is why so many newly-married young
mothers aspire to be mothers. If there’s
anything killing to a woman it’s beiu g
plone and not having anything to talk
0. ‘
A fashion writer says that dresses are
to be full this year. We prefer them
full. The idea of a dress empty is ridicu-
lous in the extreme. We should like
to know what satisfaction it would be
to a young man to hold an empty dress
on his lap.
As the happy cou 1e were leaving the
church, the husban said to the partner
of his wedded life: “ Marriage must
seem a dreadful thing to you. Why,
on were all of a. tremble and one could
car you say, ‘I Will.’ ” “I shall have
more courage and say it louder next
time,” returned the blushing bride.
The stories of the exquisite instinct
of brute creation were rather knocked
in the head recently in Iowa. where a
ferocious bulldog bit a man in the calf
of his wooden leg. The leg was of pine
and the dog’s teeth sank into it deeply.
He wooden let go, in fact, until they
pried him away.
“Depend on it, ladies and gentlemen,"
said Mr. Richards, at the close of a
speech at Southend, “ we should never
haveheard of Mr. Gladstone if it had
not been for his father.” And it is said
that Mr. Richards was unable to under-
stand why the audience roared.
Mrs. Bullion to the principal of the
school attended by her daughter: “Dear
Madam—My daughter, Clarice, informs
me that last year she was 0in ed to
study vulgar fractions. Please 0 not
let this happen again. If the dear
child must study fractions, let them be
as refined as possible.
A teacher in one of our rammar
schools was giving his class a. esson on
the art of putting words into sentences.
The words elected, with their definii
tions, were “acqueduct, a conductor,”
and “ effervese, to wor .” One of the
sentences handed in read: “My father
is an acqueduct and has to effervese
very hard.
Mrs. B. is one of those energetic,
nick-motioned women who carry
t eir work by assault. One day she
had started across the room on some
errand, but midway forgot what it was.
“What wasIgoing for?” she asked
aloud. Two years old, seated on the
floor and always liable to be swept up
in one of the mother’s hurricane pass-
ages, asked meekly: “Was—oo—goin’
for me ?”
Moses and Isaac Rabbenstein were
sitting in the back part of Isaac’s store
talking, when there came a. jar to tht
building. “ Mein Kott, Izig,” exclaimed
Moses rising in terror; “led us gell
cud.” “Pe’kvied Moses; vats de mad-
der wid you ?” said Isaac angrily. “ Vy
Izi ,dat varan erdvuaeg.” “Erkvuaeg.
nu dings! Dat vas only Shakey up
stairsh dropping der brices on Summer
cioding."
New Caledonia.
New Caledonia is neither more nor
less than a penal settlement of France,
and it has absorbed as many criminals
as the French Government dare send.
But away some two hundred miles to
the northeast there lies a fair range of
islands, which are not only beautiful
and fertile in themselves but which
seem to present quite a succession of
comfortably isolated residences for
those who leave France at the expense
of their country and for their country’s
good.
The new Hebrides Archipelago com-
prise some twenty islands, large and
small, the largest being Espiritu Santa,
which measures about seventy miles
in length by about thirty in breadth.
The aborigines of the group haveall
come from the same Papuan stock; yet
not only do they differ very much in
physical aspect, but tribes are abso-
lutely foreigners to other tribes. Not
only has each island its own language,
but so also has each tribe; at any rate,
it is recorded that on one of the islands
alone there are six native towns in
which six distinct languages are spoken.
These languages, no doubt, have all a
certain aflinity, yet they are marked by
diiferences somewhat broader than
what we are accustomed to regard as
dialects. This confusion of tongues is
one of the most remarkable character-
istics of ihe New Hebrides, as well as
one of the greatest difficulties with
which Christianizing and civilizing in-
flueuces have to contend.
CW
Fame is an undertaker that pays
little attention to the living, but
furnishes out their funerals and carries
them to the grave.
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Norwalk Chronicler