'_ . T, 11 E Emu N 1- 1‘. 2G or A z E '1 T :11”
annnxnnnaananannnaanuaxxnanaannexes
"1312’ . .. Huff-9‘
1? Saves”
.2:
51,.
1] fl.
Work .111 Worry .2
:iNeglect should never be laid at the titer of a housewife. g:
2%
It may be she wo1ks harder than her no: :rhbor, but doesn’t
t 111 just the right way Her neighbor uses
and keeps her house twice as clean with half
the effort.
given many a woman the reputation of being
a queen of housekeepers.
Largest package—greatest economy.
:2,"I‘IIE N. ISAI§§£NK COMPANY, llh'ic St.’ Louis. loll York, Boston; I’hilgitlelphia -.
' *4 unemfifik althamamasmaane was
LHWHHRHHHHHEHHPS‘P
Gold Dust Washing Powder has
Do you use it?
WE ’IBECOME .sOLESURETv. ON ALL BONDS.
if You want a Bond
As Executor, Trustee, Administrator, Guardian, Re-
ceiver, Assignee or in Replevin, Attachment Cases, _
etc., As a Letter Carrier, As a Contractor, As a;
United States Official,
City Official,
establishment,
The F1dellty81 Deposn Company;
0F MARYLAND HIDL- FURNISH IT
16" Don’t Give or Accept Personal Surety.
WILLIAM H. BYINGTON Agent
Gazette Building,
As an Officer of a Fraternal Society,
As an employee of a “Bank ,Corporation or Mercantile
A
As State, County, Town or,
3311;:
A‘-
"‘«u‘
- N orwalk Conn.
NORWALK BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
Norwalk :E‘ireI NInsurance Co.
SUCCESSFUL OPERA'I‘ION SINCE
1860.
6" NO OUTSTANDING CLAIMS.
:3. B- WILSON,
PRACTICAL CONTRACTOR & BUILDER.
Estimates cheerfully given.
Large buildings a specialty. Contracts taken
.nsny part of the Country. Steam mill and yard, 8 Cross street. Office, 2.92
Wat treet, Norwalk, Conn. -:- :- .-.
1 \ fl 1 1 F 4. W
1111111111 Jrkllhdlskrn‘n‘a 11111111111 —
.4. THE JOSEPH LADUE
GOLD MINING AND DEVELOPMENT COMPANY or YUKON.
PRICE OF SHARES TO BE ADVANSED AHSHST 3i, 3398.
Mr. Joseph Ladue, the pioneer of the hicndike, and founder of
Dawson City, aided by some of the most 1: 21 36"! 21.1 e an i successful finan-
ciers of New York, is operating the strongest company yet fo. .ed for
,1 mining and trading m the Y ukon gold I‘I’CI'S 3.
‘, To this Company he has transferred placer claims on Hunker and
according to class.
‘ CAPITAL OF THE CO. VIFANY.
' n ' Preferred Stock, 67: cumulative,
Common Stock,
Total Capital, par value, 510 per share, ~s we use
The preferred stock has a first lien on earni rigs 4’ 1. its dividend,
and on the assets of the Company for its par value, and after all the
stock of the Company has received 6 per cent, the surplus earnings are
Shared pro rata by the preferred and common stock.
has the preferred stock practically offers th = smeg :1:- is and advantages
ofa first mortgage bond, coupled with an earn.n:r t a .nci: /' as great as that of
the common stock.
The undersigned has ohtai. .ed a s11. .37: opti; n on a block pf this preferred
par, {510.00 per share.
August arst, 1898, after which the price
advanced by the Company to $12.50 pe: share.
This is the last opportunity to get the
in time to participate in the autumn (livid
stock, which he now ohm . :1:
orders ubscriptions are receix er‘:
Snd for map of Da1\3on.an-i data respecting l-Llonriike.
w. H. special a
" Gold Bottom Creeks, the “Marguerite” Quartz Mine, his Saw Mill,
his Timber Lease, that virtually monopolizes tl. e saw timber on the .3?“
Klondike, and large holdings of Choice Town Lots in Dawson City.
The Company also owns the S. S.“ Morgan City ” now earning $20, 000 per ‘ ig:
monfil, and has shipped up the Yukon several '
for trade, upon which a very large profit is assured.
reports certify that the saw mill produces about 1110 million fact of lumber
_, in the open season, sales price of which is fro .n $1’o to $2.10 per 1,000 feet g,
* A! “MAM;
hundreJ tons of merchandise,
The U. S. Government
$1,000,090;
4. 001') 00,0
Tl! IS 1 9': im. terminates
at -.hs “His” 1‘. stock “ill be
ka tpar, and
preferre s cc
1 ‘r. .Jt'ed 1n the
cml. mar. sv‘ call
143 VJESTP lli‘iSTER ST.
FRO‘HDENCE, R. l.
seamstress “M
\15'
a
«reef. [Le reqmremerzt: refer/er] dress-maker,pro-
fesswu. 1! ar amateur. It: experts are constant];
a! w 111.: procuring the far/‘10»: winch it public/1e:
weak/1.11 valualue feature aft/w 8/1 2.4 R 1.: it:
4 CUT PAPER PATTERNS
Elzc/z tissue contains, among its rich zarzety of
fizslu'mxs, two 0101:, for zu/zitk tut paper pattern:
3w: farm's/re, and 1f Jau wish to wear .9 ‘ylirh
UTILITY SKIRTS
WASH SKIRTS, SHIRT -WAI.“TS
a TAILOR'MADE GOWNS O
or If} are are seeking new and pretty designs, yaw
rut? find what Jou 70a”! m tire page: of the
BAZ.1R.Cut paper patterns are farm‘s/ted at
25c. PER PATTERN
WAIST, SLEEVE, or SKIRT
COMPLETE oowa 75c.
and zfycm will send u: 111: mmzéer of 11:: pattern
you rat's/1, stating 'w/zet/zer sleeve, waist, or skirt,
and an daring tke amount a: specified abave, we
will semiyou the pattern. If you are natfamt'lzar
with EA RPER’S BAZA R, we will semi you a
TRIAL sue. 25c. FGUR WEEKS
a: a special afi'cr, upon recezpt oft/1e money.
10 Saints 3 Copy 4- Sui», $1 00 per J’s-1,1-
Addrcs-IIARI’EB It BRQTHEBS,.- Pnblltlen, N. ~Y. City
at. the GAZETTE OFFICE.
‘ W. FERNALD,
Practical
Book_bin der.
Books called for and Deliv-
ered
Postal Orders Promptly at-
tended, to.
32 FRANKLIN STREET,
SOUTH NORWAL!
Orders for Bookbinding can be left
J. D. JEIIIIIIIGS.
UNDERTAK‘EH
No. 7 MAIN STREET.
which turned two sharp corners.
"her-4 rescue He couldn’t afford
NIGHT BELL AT OFFICE.
A mm 11611110.
She had coasteddowu a steep hill
She
had an escort, but he was a young
man with discretion and a brake, and
while he would do a good deal to save
her he couldn’t see the pleasure in
perishing with her. So when she
Whirled around the first corner he re
signed himself to losing her and won
dered. how he would take the body
home. The thought came to him that
the situation would be less complica-
ted if she should be dead than if she
j should be seriously wounded, but he
put that idea aside hastily, and hoped
that she wouldn’t suffer much before
he could get aid.
When he cautiously turned the sec-
ond corner he saw the victim sitting
on a stump beside the road and tap
ping the ground with her foot.
“Come by freight?” she asked scorn
fully. Her protector dismounted and
looked her over.
“You aren't hurt?" he said anxious
Iy.
“Of course not.
me?”
“You really oughtn’t to 'do that son
of thing, you know,” he protested
“Nobody has any business coasting
that sort of bill.” _
“1 hope you don’t think that a bad
bill!"
He did, and registered a mental oatt
that the next time he should take a
girl wheeling she wouldn’t be able t1
ride better than be, but he smiled fee
bly, and then the girl relented.
“I guess it is a. nasty hill,” she said
sweetly. “But I’m never; afraid 01
coasting. They say the best way 1(
teach a boy to swim is to throw 11in
into deep water and let him scramblt
for life. If he finds he can take cars
What could hurt
; of himself, then he’ll never be afraic’
again. I learned to coast something
after that fashion. I don't believe l
could ever have screwed up couragt
enough to try it deliberately, the was
that you men do. ”
3 The young man IoOked less exasper
ated, and preempted part of the
stump.
“How dldit happen?" he asked. I-Icn
hand was a nice Soft little one, and hi
concluded it made'little difference if a
girl dld ride well.. There were othel
things to be considered. On tlu
whole, he thought he wouldn’t changt
girls for his next ride,
“We were up at Magholia,” she said
“and I had been riding all summer
but I used a brake. and back pedalleé
down hill. and if the place was a but
one I got 0!! and walked. People said
I didn’t have proper pride about
wheeling, but I4 wasn’t taking an)
risks, and the very thought of constim
made my; blood run cold. One day Wt
started for Annisquam, and about htIIl
way ther we struck an awful hill. I!
was frightfully steep and long. ,ane
was full of gravel. Then there were
springs in the woods. so that litth
streams ran. across the road diagonal
ly and had washed out deep hollows
At the bottom the road turned a sharp
corner in sand and ran down almost
to the beach, but finally it divided
one path going on to the beach and the
other turning along the shore.
“l-thouglit- at. first that I’d get off
but Tom went ahead.”
Then some difficulties with regard
to staying on the stump were arranged
and she went on withE-her story.
“Several swell carriages were com
ing up the hill, and I didn‘ t want 112
look like a 'frnid cut, so I pedalled
ahead and started down. I tried tr.
usemy brake, but the wretched thing
wouldn’t work, and by the time I
found that out I had struck the firs!
washout. My wheel gave a jump—
you know how—my feet flew 011? th.
pedals, I flew off my seat. but I came
down on the saddle, and away we
went. My, how we did fly! I didn't
know what to do with my feet. so.l
tried to curlth’em intent of harm's
way and gripped the, handle bars and
wondered who Would feel worst about
my death. What? Oh, but ’you set
you didn’t know me then, so you
wouldn’ t have known what you were
losing.
"The people leaned out of thelr ear-
riages to watch me go by, and I heard
one old gentleman say ‘Crazy fool. She
deserves,——’ but I was too faraway
by that time to bear therest of it. I
suppose he thought I was doing my
little stunt for fun. Tom was ahead
of me, and I couldn‘t turn out for any-
thing, so I screamed, ‘Look out. Tom
I’m coasting? He said ‘Jerusalem,'
and scrambled to the side of the road,
looking as scared as lurelt. He thought
1 was doing it all on purpose, too.
“My wheel made flying. leaps ovci
every little stream. and I stayed on;
but I knew about that sand at the bet
tom of the hill and thought I could see
my finish. It took something more
than sand to stop me in my mad ca.
men I flew around the corner and on
down the road, but I didn't have sense
enough to turn the second corner.
“The wheel tore along the path,
over the pebbles and stones, and into
the.._water When we met the surf we
went-:down. I wasn’t surprised ‘ai
that.-
end ,of‘the; world. would stop that-
wheel. I. grabbed the biCyclc and
waded out. By that time Tom was on
the beth waiting for me.”
“WaSn’tlhe relieved?”
young man, tenderly.
She looked indignant.
“Relieved? He howred! He said when
he took a girl. bicycling he waspre-
pared to save her from some kinds of
death. but that he wouldn’t swim to
to
asked the
shrink his bicycle togs.
“Now, when I m going riding with a
man, Tom always advises him to wear
his bathinz suit. "
waiting for you, a
It seemed to me nothing but the
Ti—IE WICKED KNORT.
He Makes More Trouble in Lapland Than
The Mosquito. ‘
One sometimes hears people who
have only met the mosquito in its mil-
der form. perhaps in Norway, or in‘
Central Sweden, or in southern coun-
tries, or possibly in Lapland in favora-
ble years, or late in the season, main.
tain that its terrors are much exag-
gerated. The writer has not found it
so. The worst accounts that I had
heard of it before I visited the,coun-
‘try' did not come anywhere near the
reality. And even if the mosquito crop
be a comparative failure in any sea-
son, there is a far more deadly insect
harmless looking lit-
tle sandfly, which the natives call a
knort. The mosquito is a gentleman
by comparison. He fights under the
rules of civilized warfare; hostilities
are openly declared, a shrill blare of
trumpets heralds its approach. True.
he descends upon you in overpowering
hosts, but from the fierce blast when
he first sights his foe, to the savage
thrust of his lance through your skin,
there is nothing secret or underhand
about him. Not so the little knort.
In ones and twos he creeps stealthily
upon you. There is no whistling of
wings, no parade 'of . skirmishing
around the victim. Quietly he works
his way into your clothing, where he
seems as much at home as any of the
Wingless vermin, which, fortunately,
are comparatively rare in Lapland. His
bite is practically painless; you rarely
noticeit at the time, but on the second
day it swells into a big burning wound
to rub or chafe which is intolerable
agony.—Badminton Magazine.
STRANGE USE FOR BIBLES.
Gold Leaf Packed in Them—The Holy
Writ Considered a Guarantee.
It seems that gold leaf for decora’
tlve purposes is, as a regular matter
of business, packed
made up of the unbound pages of Holy
Writ cut to the requisite size for the
purpose. and stitched together. The
practiceof. packing the material in
this way is a well-established one, and
the Bible is selected for this purpose
because as a rule, the type is more
evenly set, and the printing generally
finer and better executed. On the
other hand, the use of the Bible is
looked upon as a sort of guarantee
that the leaf is of the best possible
quality. It appears that the Book of
Comon Prayer is also employed for
the same purpose. Gold-leaf books
are made up and supplied to the trade
by an enterprising firm in Birming-
ham. - An enterprising gentleman in
billion also supplied them. It is evi~
dent that the books are made up from
the sheets in which they leave the
press, and before they are- folded.
. A4 Divided Family.
Five dwarfs and five full grown and
well developed people constitute the
family of George Washington Wash-
er, who resides at Three Fork, War‘
ren county, Kentucky. The family of
ten members is equally divided in
size, the father and four children be-
ing dwarffs and the mother and four
children being of the regulation, size
and weight. George W. Washer, the
father and husband, is about three
and one-half or four feet high, and
will weigh something like 100 pounds.
While his arms and legs are no longer
than those of a well grown boy of
eight. years, belies the head and body
of a full grown man. All of the dwarf
children take after their father. The
mother and the other four children
have. no peculiarities in personal ap.
pearance. All of the family are bright
and intelligent. are well. educated and
no better family of citizens reside in
that county than that of the Washers.
——Cincinnati Enquirer.
Pat and the Peas.
In an Eastern county court the judge
was in a quandary the other day. A
coat was in dispute. The parties were
Irish, and the evidence was direct and
positive for both claimants. After
much wrangling Patrick Peters, one
of the parties, proposed that he and
his opponent, Timothy Maguire, should
see whose name was on the coat.
Timothy searched in vain, and the coat
was handed to Pat, who immediately
took his knife, opened a corner of the
collar of the coat, and out dropped two
small peas.
“There, d’ye see that now?” said be.
"Yes; but what of that?” said Tim-
othy;- - ‘
“A dale it ’as to do wid it! It is my
name, to be sure—pea for Patrick, and
pea for Peters, be jabbers!”
He got the coat after that. ——Philadel—
phia Post.
Why Good Swimmers Are‘Drowne".
The sudden drowning of a good
swimmer is not due tona cramp. as
generally supposed. There is no rea-
son, says a high medical authority,
why. cramp in aileg shouldprevent an
ordinary swimmer supporting himself
in the water by his handsor» on his
backer cause him to throw up his
hands and sink Once for all like a
stone.
dium of the ear is perforated and the
pressure of water causes vertigo and
unconsciousness. -Atlanta Constitu-
tion. -
Not the Qual.t;..
Ned—If you want to marry an heii-
ess, why don’t you propose to Miss
Elderly? She‘s rich.
Ted—Yes, but I object to her past.
Ned—Why I thought that was above .
reproach. 4
Ted—It is; but there’ s so much of it.
“I have heard that she walks in her
sleep,” said the gossip.
‘Indeed ” ,returned Mrs.
.cornfully,
Parvenu -
in little books
The explanation is that— the.
“So common, isn’t it? , l ,,
ONE» NIGHT STANDS
ByHowa rd Sydney Adams.
“Last act!” the call boy shouts as he
comes bounding up the stairs three
steps at a time. “Last act!” he yells
on every landing, until at last he hoots
at the chorus girls, who, huddled to-
gether in a ten foot room. come out of
their pen and follow him, as though
he were a bell sheep, down the wind-
ing stairs.
Then the comedian, with wig and
landing, and with eyes riveted on the
stone steps, goes down the winding
stairs. As he turns the last corner a
hand is laid on his shoulder, and he
girl in gauze.
more closely about her shapely form.
“IsLthcre anything I can do?” .
“I am afraid there is nothing," the
comedian answers, his voice low and
sad. “My little girl has stood the
fatigue of travel bravely. but now she
is very, very sick. and I am afraid I
shall have to leave her here."
“Surely not alone?" the dancer asks,
putting out her hand.‘ which he uncon-
sciously takes in his. “Surely you
will not leave her alone?”
“If I remain,” he answers. and his
voice trembles as he speaks. “I can
only comfort her by my presence; 1
cannot pay for a doctor then. nor can
she have the little luxuries SIlE
craves. ”
The dancer draws her hand from
his and draws from the bodice of hex
dress a silken purse.
' “Take this,” she says. as she holds
it out to him. “It is not much. but it
will help. ”
He turns away and leans his head
against the iron railing. -;
"Coalsof fire!" he mutter‘s.
which shall. always burn!" -
The dancer comes down the few
steps to where he stands.
“I -want to go home with you to:
night,” she whispers. "I want to
nurse your little girl.” .
He turns and takes her hand in his
“You must not. Blanche. You must
not ask it. Think what the others
would say.’
cries. throwing tier arms around his
neck. “I once had the right to go with
you. I had the right until another took
my place.”
Then the call boy comes running up
the steps. shouting, “Your cue!” So
time to entenwith a ringing laugh,
which is taken up by the audience
when he tumbles down the palace
steps. only to bound like a ball to the
footllghts. where, with a mock bow
to the duke. he sings— _
“Woman is faltbless and man is true.
How do I know? Oh. ‘l’vrpmved it so."
When, at last, the curtain is rung
dnyvn. the comedian quickly dresses am.
goofs down. stairs to find the dancci
waiting at the stage door.
“May! :36 home with you?" she
asks beseechlngly
"I would rather. for your sake you
I would not " he answers.
she puts her arm in his and together
they pass down the street, only puns
ing for a moment beneath a dim lamp
that be may wrap his mufiler around
her neck. ”
They reach the cheap hotel near tlw
railroad station. asrend the narrow
stairs, and along a gloomy hall until
they reacn a door at the father cml
The comedian turns the knob and en-
ters. leaving the dancer standing in
the doorway while he lights a lamp;
when the flickering flame throws its
feeble light around the dreary room.
he hurries to the bed when: a child
lies; sleeping.
As he Stoops to kiss the burning tem
pics the child opens her eyes and put-
ting hcr armsabout his neck whis-
pets——
“I was dreaming of momma. dad."
Then as her eyes rest on the figure
in the doorway. a smile of happiness
steals across the wan face. “is it
mamma?" she asks. “Isii-t mamma
who has come back to me?” -
“No, my dear. She lS- some one who
loved dad when he was a; better man.
help make youwell again.”
to kiss the child’s feverish cheek and
brush the' golden hair. from the burn-
ceive the start she gives at seeing the
child’s resemblance to its dead mother.
As the dancer takes off her heavy
cloak the comedian goes to the bed.
and wrapping the child in a blanket,
seats himself in a rocking chair and
tries to lull the- little one to sleep by
singing a. lullaby. .
The dancer busies herself about the
room smoothing the pillows and hang
ing up the child’s clothing, stopping
now and then to smile on him. And
when everything is .put away, she
pushes a stool to his feet and seats
herself by his side, prepared to share
his vigil.
a sound breaking the stillness of night
but the low lullaby. Then the song
dlesaway. A cry rings through the
room as the comedian springs to his
feet, and with trembling hands tears
the blanket from the face of the child.
!
1
E
I
I
should think she would ride. -Chicag-.- '
cost.
But the eyes are closed—the hands are
cold-the child is dead.
Next morning, in the churchyard,
they bury her. 3 When the dull thud
from the sod is. echoed back as it
strikes the comn lid the father turns
away and hurries to the station to
catch’ the Western train. He must
laugh. tonight and make others laugh.
fora'he is an actor playing one. night
stands But he is no longer alone.
'l‘he- wrong he- has done the woman he-
side film is forgiven,
promised to be what she would have
.been years before but for the, treach-
.~ -—-— «y of another —hls wife.
I
painted face, passes slowly along the .
looks up into the pretty face of a
“Is your child better to-nigbt?" she
asks, as she draws the pink wrapper
“Coals‘
. feed his dogs in their kennels,
"I care not what they say!" she.
they hurry .tortbe stage below, be In '
But his voice belies his wordsb so
and she has come to nurse you and '
He turns away as the dancer-stoops
ing forehead. Buthe cannot help per- »
Hour after hour they sit there, not
and she has \
31..
.115 CAPTAIN'S ECONMOICAL WIFE.
Toppled the Other Way and Put the Born
. in Plugs
In a Massachusetts seaport towp
there is a retired sea captain who
makes a frequent boast that he has
the “smartest woman along shore.“
New instances of her enterprise are
constantly coming to notice. The last" ".
one refers to an exploit by which she.
saved herself a doctor’s bill.- The cap-
tain tells the stow with great relish.
“She’s getting pretty heavy,” 'he be-'
gins, “and now and again she’ll miss
her footing. Well, not many months
ago she missed it on our stairs and
fell all in a heap down three steps 01.
to her side.
“When I got to her, she said, just as
brisk as usual: “Don’t ask me if I’ve
hurt myself, Cap’n, for. of course I
have. I reckon I’ve unjointe‘d a bone
in my left leg, falling on it. Now.
don’t try to pull me up. Let me
scramble round a minute, and you go
for the doctor.’
"Well, the doctor’ 3 our next neigh-
bor, so it didn’ t take long to get him.
' He looked her over,‘and s'aldrtheré
was a bone somewheresround her left
hip that was out- of kiltei'.
“At that mother nose right up- on her
feet and toppled overth'e opposite- way.
from what she’d fallen downstairs.
and we heard a kind of a crack.
“She looked up at the doctor With"
her mouth kind of whitish, but the
same old twtnkle in. her eyes, andshe
says: ‘I believe I’ve set that bone my-
self, doctor,’ and she had!”—Youth’s
Companion.
FRIENDLY WITH THE DOGS.
The Bats Know Their Protectors and
Wouldn’t Eat'WltIi‘ont—lhpm. -; ~ .'
A gentleman wholived- some years
since in Renfrewshlre was accustom-
ed, after his shootingexcursions, to
the
food being placed in-a long trough.
On one occasion, when he had attend-
ed to them as- usual, he looked into;
the kennel through a hole in the door,
and was somewhat _ astonished. not
at perceiving a number of rats there.
but at seeing them ..in thetrough, qui-
etly and fearlessly-=-partaklng of ‘ the
bread and milk with the dogs, which
seemed to. psycho. attention . to: them
whatever. He was determined to de-
stroy the rats and the next day he
placed theltroughxln such a position
that a gun pointed through the hole
would rake it from one end to the
other. 4
At the usual hour. 'xheifood was
placed as a lure, and the dogs were
kept out, but the plan did not succeed.
The plotter against the rats could ob-
serve the..:vhead: of; One off them—old
and sagaclous—peering out at hole af-
ter hole, and from under‘thewmanger
for the purpose of reconnoltreing, but
none of them descended: Having wai-
ted to nopurpo'se for half an hour, he
let in 'the dogs, and. in :11 ' few minutes
the rats were again feeding in perfect
harmony. They seemed to .be aware
that their safety was connected with
the presence of the dogs.
' 41; 51...} Pfllzlpd‘lllm. ” 5'}. ;
zEdouard Remenyl, the great violin-
ist, who recently died, used to say
that some of the hardest studying he
ever did in yhisggllfe abewan‘mf-ter an ex-
perlence he had in Detroit.‘
“On my first tour of this country,"
be delighted in telling, “I worked un-
c'easlngly to acquire a knowledge of
the language and got? om-fairly well:
But the slang that I found so' preva-
lent. baflledg-me inore titans-anything
else. I gave a performance in De-
troit-one night and met with a recep-
tion that warmed my heart toward
her people. Among other things, this '
appeared in one of the papers "next
morning: “Here an ugly. little, bow-
legged chap, whose clothes hung loose-
ly about his ungainly person. waddled
to the footligh‘ts.’ But, sakes alive!
how he did play the fiddle?
“Now, I couldn’t-makeout what that
‘sakes alive' meant, so I timidly ap-
proached: 4a 'gentlemanly citizen, told
him of my inability to grasp the mean-
ing of the slang, and asked him if the
expression was intended to be com-
plimehtary.' '
“He kindly read it and replied: ‘Well.
I should snicker.” . ~
“I was more bewildered than ever.
and horn that time on made the study
of slang one of mychief occupations."
—Detroit Free PreSs.
WIT AND HUMOR.
“Did she break down when you told
her you were going abroad?”
“Naw. I think she felt like doing
one, though.”—Indianapolis Journal.
“I spent $100 on my silver wedding
present to my wife.” '
“What is it?” '
“I don’t know; she hasn’t got
through exchanging it yet ”—Clncago
Record .
“Mike,” said Pl‘odding Pete, “how is
it da—t some 0’ deselpeople kin‘workday.
after day ‘an’ never? seem to feel-1t?“
“Well,” replied Meandering Mike, re.
flectively, “I s’pose day is started in
young an’ gets‘ to be immunes."—-
Washington Star. '
“Do you understand women?” '
“Yes, I understand them well enough.
to know that I can’t understand them
at all.”—Chicago Record.
“Harlil; Somebody is playing a de-
ligh‘tful bit from Wagner.”
“Oh, no; that’s only James shovel-
ling coal in the cellar.”
“You called on Miss Spritely the
other evening? Didn’t you find her
charming in conversation?” .
“I found her charming in monologue.
We didn’t sucCeed in holding any con.
versation. ”—Ghicago Tribune. ;
It is better to discover where an em
any ls than “here he was. - . ._ m4
Norwalk Chronicler