‘A CONCISE MEMORANDUM. L I’. (3., However, Had a Difl‘erent Mean-' '_ ing to the Mother Than. to‘\the Son. Part of the boyhood of Bishop Barry was spent at boarding-school, _ Where, during his first term, he was allowed $10 as spending money. His mother, on giving'it to him, requested , in exact account of, his daily expendi- tures. He tried to keep his word, but sometimes, forgetting to post the items for days together, it was dif- ficult to recall them, and he invented an abbreviation corresponding very neally to sundries, which appeared pretty regularly throughout his ac- count. When Mrs. Barry first looked over he boy’s account-book on his retur,n she was much pleased at the most fre— duently recurring item of expense, and inquired how he had been led to take so strong an interest in the cause of missions. Astonished in his turn, be declared he had not given a penny to missions. “But, surely,” exclaimedl Mrs. Barry, ‘the society for the propagation of the Gospel is missionary work, and I find ’hat more than half your money has been given in small sums to S. P. G.” .' “S. P. G,, mother,” confessed the 11-ture dignitary of the Church, “does not mean Society for the Propagation '9f the Gospel. When I could not re- member what I spent my money for, ‘ I put down S. P. G.-—Something, , Probably Grub.”'——Christian Com- monwealth. ———-.-—-.4———‘-"' ' " ‘ . A' SER-F’S'AFORETHOU‘GHT. . ..,___. Bought His Freedom With a Barrel 0! Oysters. Count Scheremetef, an immensely' and powerful Russian noble who lived in the early part of the century, had among his serfs a man named Schal- cuchine, who had amassed an enor- mdus fortune. He had offered as much as $250,000 for his freedom, but in vain. One day Scheremetef gave a dinner party, and to his disgust there were no oysters to begin the banquet with. "‘They were not to be had ,at any price,” replied the steward. At that moment Schalouchine was ushered in among the guests, and Scheremetef bullied him as usual; “Your free- dom,” he yelled, “you cannot have it if you ofler. a million of rubles. A million, pshaw! a few dozen oysters would be worth more than that to me at this moment.” “Do I.11 derstand ' then, my lord, that you g 1; me my freedom if I procured the for you?” “Yes,” wasthe answer. alouchine had brought a barrel of 05 firs, having heard of the dinner. The deed of freedom was immediately signed, SchalOuchine took his place among the guests, and his descendants are not on-_ ly the 'wealthiest bankers in Russia but were ennobled about a quarter of a century agar-London Illustrated News. ’ a :BLEN HEIM’S DAINTY HOSTESS. Loved—by the Tenants—Fees Taken at the Gates Devoted to Charity. Blenheim Palace has undergone re- markable changes since the second American. Duchess of Marlborough has nade it her home.- Ten years ago Blenheim, except for its size, bore mything but ,a resemblance to even 1 modestideal of what a ducal palace should ,be. roof was leaking, and the best of the trt treasures, for which Blenheim was 10 famous, had‘ passed into other lands under the hammer. In spite of the fact that the palace :s vastly too large for anything but a royal residence, that its architecture :ould hardly be described as homelike or beautiful, and the interior decora- ;ions were disgracefully shabby when first she saw. it, the little lady who was engaged to t-helDuke admired it from the first, decided to make it her home, and since her marriage has proved her interest in and affection for the ugly old pile. The fact is clearly patent to 'the visitor who saw Blenheim under the old regime and who stops in the vil- lage beyond the park gates for a bit of lunch and a gossip with any of the sociable townsfolk. One and all they have a. word of admiring praise ,for ' the Duchess. It evidently did not take her long to win the hearts of the eld- erly inhabitants and the children. Since her coming all fees taken in at the gates from tourists who visit the palace have been devoted to cha1ity, 1nd out of her own ‘pocket and her own heart the Duchess devises many :chemes for amusing and benefiting her husband’s tenants—Philadelphia lnquirer. ' His Notion of It. “Why,” she asked, “do so many of the poets write about goldenrod? 1eems. as if every one of them had tried :0 glorify it.” - “Well,” replied the man who had worked on a farm, “the only explana— tion I can give is that the poets prob- 1bly never tried to raise potatoes in a field where goldenrod had got a good start.”-—Cleveland Leader. ___.____..._,__ Vinegar as in Antidote. Professor Carleton of New York, states that vinegar antidote to carbolic acid. When ap- plied to a cutaneous or mucous sur- lace which has been burnt by the acid, lhe characteristic whitish appearance . produced by the caustic at once dis- 1ppears, and subsequent scarring is to a. large extent prevented. Vinegar is Ilso said to be equally good as an intidote when the tcid has been taken into the stomach; and it is recom- mended that the patient should as soon as possible drink some vinegar mixed with an equal quantity of wa- ter, after which other measures may be taken to counteract the poison I more fully._ Chicago. St. Louis. is never pleasant work. The way to have clearing — well done, and to get through it quickly without :- spending muCh SDtrength, is to use Then the cleaning things are laid a51de early 111 the day, the housewife has time for more pleasant things. Largest package—greatest economy. _ THE N. K. FAIRBANK COMPAN‘Y, Washirc (7.; PuWfigf: :1 E, New York. Boston. Philadelph a. F“ REINSIJRANBB: A Wise Man Keeps , his Home Insured Against. Fire.‘ 11 BEST 1111111113 REPRESENTED w. H. .‘BYlNdTbl‘t MOI l MZETTE BUEUHHS. 0U read this advertisement. . 1111111111 can 4" If it had been yours and others had read it, iiow much gm! it might have. done. and we will do the rest. 1 Send in your adv- Rates on application. It .was no secret that the ' It‘ is an excellent ’ JACK WAS ALL RlGHT. lot the Old Man Thought Him lncorrigi- bio and Sought to ‘Refol In Him. ‘ “T,’om' ”began one old mercl' ant. to exit: lunch together, “I feel as though '2 could talk to you, for we have been 'riends ever since we were boys, and ‘. must~ talk with some one.’ . o “What is it, Jim?” ' - “That son of mine. He’s kind to me, says he’s always ready to help me when there’s a chance *and tells me the truth, 10 matter what he has done: But noth- ng that 1 can say with a. view to re- ’orming his habits seems to make any mpression. I’ll just give you an ex- tmple. The other evening Isaid to 1im that I had seen him coming out if a saloon and asked him if he wasn’t 1shanied of himself. “ ‘I really think,’ the rascal answer- :d, ‘that it looks better to come out than it does to go in.’ “"You shouldn’t have gone mapped. “ ‘But I was in and it was better to tome out when I did then two or three 1011rs later.’ Then he laughed and told he not to 11701 ry. ” “And I think you had better follow 1is advice. Jack doesn’t drink. I have :hat from the boys that train with him. And between me and you, old man, I '1ave an idea he was looking you up. it is whispered about in a good many alaces that a few of us respectable aodgers sneak in the back way and nave a quiet game in that back room. it sounds a good deal worse than it is, 1nd I guess that Jack must be troubled 1bout you. -We’d better shift our quar- ters so as to throw him ofi the scent.” “My shift will be to never play an- )thergame of poker, and I’ll tell Jack 10 before I sleep. He’s the best boy 11 town.”——Detroit Free Press. HANDEL AND KING GEORGE l, the Composer Ofl‘ended His Majesty but Restored to Favor by His Elusic. Handel once offended George I so 1eriously that he was afraid to ap- Jroach the court, but through the 'riendly interposition of Baron Kil- nansegge, who was high in favor, he was restored to favor in the following nanner: Soon after his arrival in England the King was persuaded to make a short" excursion on the water. Handel was nformed of this intention, and upon :he advice of his friend, he composed wine pieces expressly for the ocCasion, 1nd secretly conducted their perfoun- ance in a boatxthat accompanied the Poyal barge. His Majesty, upon hear- zng these compositions, which have 1ince become famous under the title of she “Water Music,” was so surprised 1nd pleased by their excellence that'lie ‘mmediately demanded the'namc of the author. The baron. who‘was on hand 'or that purpose, told the King that :hey were the work of a faithful ser- vant of his Majesty, who. conscious of the cause of the displeasure which he had given, durst not assume to ap- Droach the royal presence until he :ould be assured that by every demon- ;tration of gratitude and duty in the Future he might hope to secuxe a par- lon. This intercession Was accepted. :0 favor. His compositions were hon- ared with the most flattering marks of 'oyal approbation, and the King imme- diately gave him a pension of £200 a year, in addition tollhat which had oreviously been conferred upon him by Queen An11e.——Har.pc1"s Round Table.‘ A Credit: Sustainel'. “Yes, Ive just bought a bicycle,” he ,aid, “but I rcally didn’t want one." “Then, why did you get one?” “To keep from losing my credit. July a very rich man can afford to be without a bicycle these days."—Cl1ica- go Post. HOW WEARY WANDERER GOT EVEN. Weary Boodle. ,If ye won’t help me I’ll get even wid yer tor night. -——Now, den, I’ll make dcs tracks i1 56 snow fer his wife ter see. ' i 1 . Boodle’s Wife—How dare you.-George'1 Look at those f Ootprmts, and :-you told me only yesterday that you Would cover drink another drop! Lnother asthey were taking a, fifteen-~ in,” I - going to give him a wake. a collection now to 1nd Handel was immediately restored- Wanderer—All right Mr . ' Brown. THE EVENING GAZETTE LON ALHOUN’ MOURNERS FLED AND ONE EOFTl—lEn’l TOLD THE POLICE ' the Supposed Dead :Man Gave the Joke Away. and All“ Hands Joined in the Wake, for Which $48 Haul Been Raised Taken all in 'all, Lon Calhoun's wake was about the finest wake that cvm happened in Jersey City. .... News of Lon Calhoun’ s death reach- ed the headquaIteis on “’ednesday night. W hence it came nobody knows, but it was duly posted on the bulletin board that “our esteemed, etc., asso- ciate”. had passed away after a long and painful gastric attack, leaving. a sorrowin'g widow, who would ~com- municate with the society regarding the funeral. On Thursday morning President McCarthy of the society tel- ephoned to the sorrowingr widow his condolences on her husband’s death. “Dead!” said Mrs. Calhoun, “Lon ain’t dead. He’s downstairs embalm- . ing a man that is.” “You don’t sayfiso,“ exclai’med Mc- Carthy. “That’s too bad. \Ve were The boys are taking bury him.” “They’d better, keep it for somebody that needs burying worse than he does. Lou’s goodvfor a long life yet.” “Well, look here,” said McCarthy, “it‘s too bad to disappoint the boys. 1111 if he'll get into the coffin we‘ll give him the time of his life.” There was some further conversa~ tion about detalis. Then _M1's. Calhoun went to the head of the stairs and called her husband. About the time that the late Lon Calhoun was peacefully folding his white hands above his quiet breast, the delegation from. the society, head- ed by President McCarthy, arrived. There were six men in the delegation. All of them had had some experience in similar sad affairs. They knew their duty, and they did it. One by one they passed before the coffin and spoke their pieces. “In the 'midst of life we are in death,” said the first. ' _ "W'e mourn our loss,” said the sec- ond. , “One shall be taken and another get left,” was the contribution of the third. ‘ “I-Ie—he—he was all right, Lon was,” stammered the next man, who was in hard luck, the first speaker having stolen his thunder. “The good die young,” asserted the fifth man, confidently. “We shall not look upon his like again,” groaned President McCarthy, who came last, in such broken tones that he made a great hit with the rest of the mourning party. Meanwhile the widow and Secre- tary Brown sat with their faces bur- ied in their hands. McCarthy’s five companions took seats, and looked at each other in gloomy silence, while the president hifnself went over to the window and wept loudly, convulsive- ly jubilantly. In the course of time, the sobs died down and the silence became oppressive. Agent Witmore, who was seated nearest the coffin, felt that he must rise to the occasion. “In the midst of life we are in dcath,"‘ lie repeated. , “We mourn our loss,” said Agent McDonald, the second man, with great promptitude, and No. 3 was just be- ginning, “One shall be taken” when Witmorc broke in hastily and inter- rupted the deal. “We sympathize with you,” Mrs. Calhoun,” he said. “He makes a love- ly corpse, Lon does. IVe congratu- late you on having such a. fine corpse.” . “Thank you kindly,” sobbed the Widow ,turning her face toward the wall. How long this would have gone on there is no telling had not :1. won- lloun’s face with the enthusiasm of :1 Klondike gold hunter. For about 11 moment the corpse suffered the tor- tures of the dead anddamned, which was one better than he bargained for. Then he stuck out his under lip and blew in the direction of his left cheek upon which the insect was operating. All the mourners turned ghastly faces upon one another in agonized inqui11 The fly rose, hesitated, and settled upon the nose of the deceased. Then the deceased came slowly and majestically into view. The five agents who were not in the secret left the r00n1, not singly, but five :11, a time, occasioning a considerable tun- gle-at the door, It burst and they achieved the deScent of the stairs us the careless Alpine traveler hastens down a crevasse. collected themselves. and separated. Some Went after braccrs. Some went after doctors. One, and this was Wit- morc, went to the Fifth Precinct po- lice station, made a charge of disor- derly conduct, and fainted gracefully upon the floor. the widow and the two remaining mourners discussed the situation. “There’s the. $43 for' the wake.“ said McCarthy. “That’s a good deal for-:1 dead man,” said the corpse, “but not so muCh for a live man.” “Not for eight live men," said “We don’t , want to forget the mourners. , _ "And the Widow,” said that lady. “I appoint Brown a committee to collect the mourners,” : said McCarthy. “while I collect. the materials.” But before they started W itmoro :11)- cared with a policeman. The police-- man was invited to stay, and Wil- V. lien all were collected McCarthy announced that the wake would ‘pro- ' L Iced. ‘ . .. Willi)" When They Came Back with a Policeman- You tell Lon that he’s dead, and that , dering fly gone to prospecting 011 Cal“ " At the bottom' they ' At the home of grief the deceased, mo1e helped hunt up. his companions. » 1,5 THE YEAR IBY FOR TIE AND N.» 1. WEEKLY TRIBUNE. BOTH P APERS Sent to anv Ad dressy :ron .
Norwalk Chronicler