‘ Adolpliu'l'lllers’ Close Call.
1' One day a mother who had been
to a- country house near Ma1seilles
was returning at twilight to the city
l'with her son, a child of eight years,
{who had been put in a peach basket
borne by a donkey, and the mothe1,
' (caring the child might catch cold (it
\
fins in November), had covered him
With a thick brown shawl. Tired with
ginning around the country all day,
sey and warm under the thick
géawl, the child was soon asleep and
idden by the sides of the basket.
.There is a. local custom-house at the
gates of Marseilles, and when the in—
spector surmises that any package
contains contraband articles. he
thrusts a sharp steep pick through it.
‘ e was preparing to do this with the
.asket when the mother, some dis-
: ce behind, saw his intention and
' arisked out that her son was in the
Wellington’ 3 Quick \Vit.
’An Austrian princess once
the Duke of Wellington:
‘- "‘How is it that we in Vienna speak
French so much better than you Eng-
lie-11??
. ”To which the Duke replied:
1' “Well, princess, if - Napoleon had
twice visited London with his armies,
asked
ashe has Vienna, I have no doubt we »
:hould be much more familiar with the
French language.”
i Louis Philippe, of France, intro-
,fiuced to the Duke of Wellington one
or the French marshals, whom 'he had
- eaten on the peninsula. The mar-
hal partly turned his back to the
uke, which greatly displeased Louis
nihilippe, who apologized to the duke-
, 1‘ his marshal’s rudeness.
_ l “Forgive him, sire,” said the duke.
Lt
' ¥ To stander a ébain‘fit-Proof. .
' ;¢E;in dust-proof is given
iYOUNG SOLOMON. . . .
{‘1 taught him to do that in the pe-
i1nsula.”
The following advice to make a new
in The
eel: "Coil it up and place it in a
small tin box. 0n the top put pieces
of any good candle, and place before
3 that fire. The candle will melt and
Ethan: all over the chain, and find its
{Way into the links and blocks. When
jhis has boon accomplished, put aside
the box and contents to cool, and
lichen the melted candle has solidified,
l‘wipe off any superfluity. After this
fireatment it will be found that grit
d dirt can only with difficulty get =
unto the blocks. ”
Young Solomon.
Chicago street car asked the
...........
“Sammy Snaggs,” asked the teacher;
f‘what part of speech is the word ‘male-
diction?”
;' “Noun,” replied Sammy.
' “What gender?”
‘ “MasCuline gender.” ,
“Indeed. 9”
“Yes’ 111. If it was feminine it would
be ‘femalediction.’ ”—P'1ttsburg Chron-
ale' ielegraph.
T HE E VENl N G GA 2 11,113
ODD TRICKS OF MV‘EMORY.
Forgetting Ono’s Name and Remember-
ing Another Person’s Backward.
Joe Jefferson never forgets his lines
but has an imperfect recollection of
names, even forgetting his own some-
times. One day he'called at a post
office in a small place and asked the
clerk:
“Any. mail for me?"
. “What name?”
“Name? Good gracious! I don’t
know. Let me think. Why, I am to
play ‘Rip Van Winkle’ to—night at
your hall.” '
“Joe Jefferson?” suggested the clerk.
“Yes. Jefferson; certainly; thanks;”
and, receiving his mail, the actor Went
away happy.
A favorite trick of a capricious me-
mory is to substitute some other name
for the one wanted, a process due to
assimilation. A couple of ladies on a
V con-
ductor to leave them at Pennsylvania
avenue.
“There’s no such avenue
suburb,” said the conductor.
“But there certainly is,” reiterated
the ladies; We have friends living
there, and ought to know.”
“Perhaps you mean Keystone ave-
nue,” suggested a passenger, and they
said that was just what they did mean,
but they knew it had something to do
with Pennsylvania, which was im-
pressed upon their memories as the
Keystone State.
A good story is told of an excellent
woman .who had this fatal faculty for
misconstruing names. Her daughter
was expecting a call from a gentleman,
and she impressed upon her mother
the fact that his name was a. very
simple one and easy to remember—
Cowd-ry. The mother repeated it un-
til she was sure she could not pos-
sibly forget it, and on the evening
when he called hurried forward to
meet him, saying, graciously:
“How are you, Mr. Drycow?”—-Chi-
cago Times-Herald.
"TF".—'——‘-.'.-
Crank’s'Not a Success.
in this
No successful man is a crank. Look
over the cranks of your acquaintance
and you will be surprised to notice that
hot one of them does anything well
They are not prominent citizens; they
are not prominent socially; they do
nothing for the general good. A crank
who is a lawyer is not a good lawyer;
t crank is usually a crank because heis
a. failure. After demonstrating that he
lacks ordinary common sense, a crank
pretends that he knows everything and
that other people do not know any-
thing; that society has learned noth-
[ng from experience, and that the
world should be turned upside down to
accept some of his untried theories.
[f you can avoid being a crank. you’d
better do it. ~ You can’t succeed as a
crank at anything—Nebraska State
Journal.
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scene,
ANECDOTES OF MACREADY.
He Played Better When in 51 Genuine Pau-
slon Before Going on the Stage.
“Mr. ,Sala charged Mac'ready with
having habitually used foul and
blasphemous language behind the
scenes. An apologist hints that
Mr. Sala may have been led astray by
the fact that in the last act of “Mac-
beth” Macready invariably lashed him-
self into a sort of fever, which he ag-
gravated by using all sorts of strong
expressions. When Mr. Phelps played
Macduff to him for the first time, he
was not a little amazed during the fight
at the close of the last act, to hear
Macready call him a beast, a scoundrel,
t hell-born villain, a base-born our and
a devil. Full of resentment, Phelps
hurled back the epithets with energy,
and heaped foul names upon Macready.
At the close Macready said:—
"Thank you, Mr. Phelps, thank you;
I’ve never been so well supported.”
In another play, where it was neces-
sary to enter in a panting fury, full of
rage. exhibiting the gasping exhaustion
of mad passion. Macready used to
have a hired “super” whom he would
grapple and shake and curse at, off the
stage, so that he could enter naturally.
One night the regular “super” sent a
substitute who did net.quite under-
stand the business. He resented Mac-
ready's rough treatment, which dee
lighted the tragedian, who went at his
man with increased vigor. The sub-
stitute presently “let him have it,” and
the pair fought savagely a good round.
Macready that night burst upon his au.
dience in a splendid rage, out-Macrea-
dying Macready. When the substitute
learned the true state of affairs, how-
ever, he bolted; but he was unearthed,
for Macready came off after the first
gasping,—— ‘
“Hum, ha! Where is he? Hum, ha,
bless me! A' splendid fellow! Pay him
double and let me have him every
night.”
ANCIENTS VALU ED GOLD.
livery Effort blade Even the Committing
of Crime to Obtain It.
Gold was probably the first metal ob—
served and collected, because of the
instinctive understanding of its in-
trinsic value. About it superstitions
grew; religious and ceremonious rites
and strange crimes were committed for
its possession in the days when it was
believed that is was of such stuff that
the sun itself was made and the halls
of Valhalla paved. Rock paintings and
carvings of Egyptian tombs earlier
than the days of Joseph. indicate the
operation of washing auriferous sand,
and a subsequent melting in furnaces
by the aid of blow pipes. Less than
twenty years ago the old mines of Nu-
bia, so graphically described by Dio—
dorous, were discovered on'the shores
of the Red sea, together with a line of
ancient wells across the desert; the un-
dergroundworkings where ore veins
had been followed with the pick, the
rude cupelling furnaces for assaying,
picks, oil lamps, stone mills, mortars
and pestles, inclined warming tables of
stone, crucibles and retorting furnaces
of burned tile, by which the entire pro-
cess can be traced.
Here slaves and hapless prisoners of
war exchanged their life 'blood for glit-
tering dust to fill the treasuries of their
captors. In India and Asia Minor the
powdered ore was washed down over
smooth, sloping rocks and caught gold
in the fleeces of sheepskins sunk in the
stream. It was literally a golden fleece
that Jason brought back from .the Cau-
casus. Further north and following
the eastern foothills of Mount Ararat
to the southern slope of the ,Ural
mountains in Russian Siberia, where
last year millions were taken out of
the old mines, the ancient Scythians
broke up rock and gravel with copper
implements, scraped out the glittering ,
dust 'and nuggets with the fangs of
wild boars and carried their gains
away in bags of Earthen—Modern Ma-
chinery.
USlNG A FROG TO CATCH A FROG.
The Stratagem of a New Jersey Hunter 0!
the Succulent Legs. .
A New Jersey genius, who makes a
living along the banks of the Raritan
and contiguous swamps by catching
frogs for the New York market, has,
during the past season, surprised his
patrons, who are restaurant keepers in
the Washington square district, by the
large quantities of toothsome legs, so
highly prized by epicures. The de—
mand for frog legs has always exceed-
ed the supply, as the agile hoppers are
difficult to bag.
The Jerseyman has, however, resort-
ed to a strategem that makes frog
catching as easy as potato digging, and
is on the road to wealth. He took his
idea from the success with which pot
hunters employ the decoy duck, and he
operates with a decoy frog. A fine spec.
imen of the elderly male is captured
and placed in a large glass jar, on the
top of which is placed a wire netting.
The jar is placed at some convenient
point near the swampage, and the hun-
ter lies in wait with his spear. The
captive hoarsely voices his discontent,
his curious fellows are attracted to the
spot, and their curiosity is aroused by
the-peculiar. spectacle. They gather
around in numbers, and the hunter,
with his long barbed spear, deftly adds
them to ‘the stack in his game bag.
The visiting frogs are, very strangely,
not frightened by'fihe disappearance
of any of their number, so intent are
they in contemplation of the prisoner
and in listening to his guttural tale of
woe. '
This hunter has been known to bag
as many an hundred greenbacks .in
a. single day. -' These he skins and dis~,
poses of their legs at 25c. per .ipaii;
very fair wages for a fisherman.—.New
York Journal. ‘
IS 11‘ NECESSARY?
STOMACH NOT'NEEDED ACCORDING
TO A RECENT OPERATION.
Performed on a Woman in Switzerland--
111 Time It May be Classed with the
\‘ex-iform Appendix—Theories of Di—
gestion Revolutionized.
Is it possible for a human being to
live and enjoy good health without a
stomach"?
This inquiry is receiving a great
deal of consideration in the medical
profession the world over just now, on
account of the success of an amazing
)pcration' upon Anna Landis, in-Zur—
.ch. Switzerland.
She furnishes the first case ever
known of a person surviving and di-
gesting solid food after a complete re-
moval of the stomach.
Medical records are replete with
cases where large portions of the
stomach have been removed; but there
was always enough left to connect
with the intestines by suture and en-
able the patient to dispose of food of
a certain kind.
Two things about the operation have
startled the medical profession. First,
its boldness. N0 physician has ever
before been brave enough to attempt
the entire removal of the "stomach,
and even those who have made a par-
tial removal have treated the patient
for a long time on pro-digested food.
)1 rs. Laudis was fed with solids
within twenty-four hours after the op-
eration. The second starting point
as that all previous physiological de-
ductions about the importance of the
stomach as a vital organ are likely to
be upset.
Thcie is a possibility that in the
zouxse of time the human stomach
may be classified with the vermiform
1ppcndix and the uvula, as a perfectly
‘JSGIOSS piece of anatomy that any man
can get along better without.
It is even suggested that in the proc-
ess of evolution the coming race will
be born without stomachs.
The operation was performed by Dr.
Carl H. Schlatter of zurich.
Anna Landis, aged fifty-six years, is
1 silk weaver by occupation. She
ilaims that cancer is hereditary in her
family. As a child she recalls having
1nd frequent attacks of ademinal
pain. Medical treatment had never
afforded her any relief.
The operation lasted two hours and
1 half. A
An assistant held up the left lobe of
the liver to enable the operator to
work freely. It was necessary to open
the woman’s body from a point at the
breast bone to the lower part of the
abdomen.
The stomach was taken entirely out,
111d the end of an intestine was at«
tached to the lower end of the gullet,
thus forming a new and independent
tuna. After the operation the wom-
an’s pulse was 96, steady and of fair
volume. The loss of blood was very
slight. .
For one week the patient was fed
on milk, eggs, brandy and bouillon.
Then the wound was examined and
was found to have healed well. There-
after the patient was given chopped
meat. and the digestion proceeded
without interruption or abdominal
pain. g ‘
Ten days after, the operation the
woman continued to eat well and took
food in fairly large quantities. She
and only one tooth,.and was therefore
candicapped in the mastication of her
food. 011 the tenth day a' phenomenon
was noticed by the physicians. Mrs.
Landis had no stomach, and~ yet she
had all the symptoms. of sickness at
tic-1' stomach.
She declared that she was nauseatcd
1y watching 'the surgeons change the
ircssiug on another surgical case. She
and similar attacks of nausea at inter-
vals during the ' succeeding three
weeks.
After the patient left her bed and
was walking about she was in better
health than she had been for a great
many years. Three months after the
operation she was working as an at—
tendant in the hospital.—Ncw York
World.
Manner of Expression.
“The secret of eloquence,” said the
iratorical person, “is not half so much
in what is said as in the way it is said.”
“Correct”. vouchsafed the man with
;he scrubby chin whiskers. “A ver-
bal premise to pay is nowhere along-
side a written one.” —- Indianapolis
Journal. '
concise WHITTLINGS.
He who knows the weakness of his
awn wings is sure of sdccessful flight.
It is better to say a little worse than
you mean than to mean a little worse
than you say.
One song sung amid a storm is bet-
ter than a whole concert when the sun.
is shining.
Before submitting to the inevitable
it is wise to be sure it is the inevita-
ble.
When one knows that he doesn’t
know everything, it is worth more to
him than all the rest that he does
know. '
The world seems a narrow place
when We wish to avoid our enemies,
but wide and vast is it when we part
from those we love.
The number of things that men nov-
elists and critics don’t know about wo~
men is exceeded only by the number
_of things that they think they know.~
The Independent.
V' The latitude of Klondike is not fur-
ther north than inhabited districts of
Norway and Sweden.‘ Winter any-
where in'- Alaska is believed to be en-:
durable to those ‘Who, have proper shel-
ter; clothing "and food.
.44
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Norwalk Chronicler