WIT AND HUMOR.
“I’d like to know who is sending me
these anonymous letters,”
head of the firm. ” .
“And fwat’s that?" asked the por-
ter.
“A letter without any signature, of
course. This makes the third I have
received in two weeks.”
“Perhaps,” said Mike, “perhaps th
poor man cannot write his name at
all.”—Indianapolis Journal: .
“Could you learn to love me?” he
asked. ,
“I don’t know,” she answered,
thoughtfully. “The cause of educa-
tion is making great strides these
days, and it is possible to learn ’mosl
any old thing.”———Chicago Post.
“How do you come to be celebrating
your- golden wedding. Binks? You’ vs
only been married three years.”
“I know,” said Binks, “but my wife
and I thought we’d better have it now,
when we really need the gold.”——~Ha.r-
per‘s Bazar. ~
Yahsley—“Mudge, what makes you
laugh at your own stories?”
Mudce~‘ Why shouldn’t I? If they
Were not worth laughing at,
not 113:1 themz”——Indianapolis Journal;
3151;. l-ooley—— ——“Could you give me
something to prevent my husband
from talking in his sleep?”
Doctor—“Give him a. chance to say
something in the daytime.”
Gave the South the Dnikiy.
A Southern man tells the Washing-
ton Post that the daisy was never
known in the South until after the
war. Now every part of the South
visited by the Union army is covered
with daisies. “Sherman brought them
to us,” he said, “and the march to the
sea can be followed in the Summer
time by keeping where the daisies ,
The seed seems to have been
grow.
transported in the - hay that was
brought along to feed the horses. This
is the only explanation that has ever
been made of it.”——New York World.
Liquor and Crime.
Officer—“Yisj’ th’ Dutch an’ t‘h’ Oir-
ish do be great paaple. Shure, ’tis all
th’ law bizness av th’ country thot’s
in their hands.” -
Dinklespiel—“How vos dot?"
Ofiicer—“Whoy, ’tis t-h’ Dutch that
make th’ beer, an’ th’ Oirish thot make
th’ a11ists, do yez moind ”—Judge.
said the '
I would
THE EVE
RAM’S HORNh'APHORISMS.
. A fool’s' campan'y is not hard
find.
Opinions never change the weather.
Honesty has never found a substi.
lute.
To get the good out of the years we
must learn 1how to live each hour well.
Gold losesits shine when it is got
by guilt.
A giant among giants is not aware
of his own size.
The best safe for your money is a
prudent wife.
The man robs others who does not
make the best of himself.
The ass might sing better if he didn’t
pitch his tune so high.
Everybody says “Go up higher" to
the man Who is “getting there.”
Call a little'man great and other lit-
tle people will throw up their hats.
He Buys the ‘i‘roussgan.
The bridegroom in Mexico finds mar‘
riage a very costly business. He is
expected to buy the trousseau, and he
is fortunate if hé’ can satisfy the ex—
travagance sanctioned, by custom and
prompted by ardent passion. Young
men from the country are said to be
often seen in the City of Mexico pur-
chasing all sorts of finery for the ladies
of their choice, and the spectacle they
present as they consult the measure-
ments, which they carry with them
for all sorts of garments, is very amus-
mg.
A Telling Advertisement.
On a telegraph pole in the suburbs
of a New England village was tacked
this notice: “Lost—BetWeen here and
the postofiice, a real lady’s hair switch
black mixt with gray with shoe string
tide around one end and above which
please return to the postmaster and git
fifty-cents with thanks of owner. who
needs it badly and will be thankful for
the kindness of any Lady or gent who
will return what cannot be of no use
to them, but which is a necdcess‘ty‘to
her.”——Harper‘s Bazar.
Reforming the World.
Caller—I supposedl would find your
parents at home this time of day. Both
out, are they?
Small Boy—Yes’m. Mother ain’t
got back yet from the Women’s Every
Afternoon Temperance meeting, and
pap’s gone to Ginsling’s free—lunch sa-
loon to get his supper.—Ne1v York
Weekly.
.51
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seem to grow on the woodwork
They come easily and -.
they stick, too—unless you get rid of them with
It -makes’. all cleaning? easy.
THE N. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY,
Louis.
New York.
Philadelphia.
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0U read this adrertisemeut.
yours and others had read it,’ howmuch
good it might have done.
« and we will do the rest.
A Wise Man Keeps
his Home Ins-urea
. Against Fire...—
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WRWILK Will
If it had been
Send in your adv!
Rates on application: _
to
U AR SCAUU SUBSIUUS
No Anxiety Over Cuban Aliens
in Washington.
.’
ALL QUIET AT 31 NANA
Minister do home Receives Advices
‘ Stating the Trouble ls Past and That
No Further Outbreak ls Feared—Gen.
Woodl'ord's House. Guarded.
Washington, Jan. 15.——-The Cuban
scare has subsided entirely and little
interest or anxiety is manifested in it
in official circles. Perfect calm pre—
vails in Havana, according to dis-
patches received by Minister de Lomc.
One of these dispatches, filed yesterday
by Secretary General Congosto, says
"The tumult has not been continued.
Calm is preserved throughout the city.
i believe that the normal condition will
be perfectly established. Fortunately,
there is not a single casualty that we
have to regret."
Aside from this dispatch the Minis—
ter. has received a number of minor
dispatches all indicating an absence of
disturbance, and that no‘appre‘hension-
is felt by the authorities. He has giv-
en directions that every development
_be communicated to him, and, in views.
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U. S. MINISTER XVOODFORD,
Whose life is in danger in Madrid.
of this fact, does not credit a report
that there was another outbreak
Thursday, saying that any such out-
break would have been communicated
to him and that the report doubtless
arose either from a. delayed cablegram
based on the outbreak previously re-
ported or else that there was some dis-
turbance of such a trivial character
that it did not get to the attention of
the Government.
Regarding reports that the rioting-
in. Havana had caused apprehension
among manufacturers, financiers and
others that business affairs might b»:
unsettled, and that they had wired the
President asking him to withhold the
sending of warships to Cuban waters
and to use his influence to prevent in-
flammatory speeches in Congress, it
can be stated authoritatively that no
dispatches on this subject have been
1eceiv ed at the White House.
Gen. Lee’s Report.
A cablegram from Gen. Lee stated
that while he did not see any indica-
tions of the resumption of the riots, yet
in view of the inflammable situation in
Havana'he believed that there might.
be further trouble.
The-North Atlantic squadron, which
has been gathering at Hampton Roads,
is to sail southward to-day. Lest there
should be any misunderstanding of the
purpose of the cruise, the orders under
which the vessel will proceed have
been made public, and, taken in con-
nection with the department’s orders
to Admiral Sicard, show that the
squadron’s movements have no refer-
cnce to Cuba.
The Cabinet discussion yesterday
showed that the President, while he
decided not to send a. warship to Cuba
at present, does purpose to keep one
or more vessels within a reasonable
distance of Havana, so. that one of our
ships may reach there Within six hours
in the event of a. sudden call.
The Senate resolution calling for in-
formation as to what had been done.
by the President to safeguard Ameri—
can interests in ‘Havana was received
and talked over. The main subject un-
der conside1ation before the Cabinet,
however, it is declared, was the pros-
pects of the Hawaiian treaty and not
Cuban relations. .
Guarding Gem, WVoodford.
Madrid, Spain, Jan. 15.—The police
precautions have been redoubled in the
vicinity of the United States Legation
and the residence of the United States,
Minister, Gen. Stewart 1L. Woodford.
Revolt in Havana. Expected Hourly.
Washington, Jan. 15.—Most' serious
news from Havana is expected hourly.
The President and his advisers know
the end, may be near in Cuba and have
provided for any emergency.
A long, disquieting dispatch came
from Gen. Lee about 4 p. m. yesterday
Havana was still calm, yet the Consul-
General said he had apparently trust-
worthy information that for two days
a mob had been organizing which its
leaders believed would be irresistible.
Gen. Lee pronounced the situation
“threatening.” The use of that ex-
pression was highly significant.‘ A full
understanding between the State De-
partment and Consul-General Lee had
been arranged. If the overthrow of
Blanco was imminent, Gen. Lee was to
inform the department that the situa-
tion was “threatening,” and the offi-
cials here would determine whether to
send a naval force to Hava..a c: not
Movement of \Varships.
Key West, Jan. 15.——The cruiser Dc-
troit arrived here at midday yesterday
from Hayti. The Montgomery has
just arrived. She brought a barge from
Tampa, to be used in loading warships
with coal, which draw too much water
to lie at the dobk. The Marblehead
left here last night for Navassa Island.
New York, Jan. 15.—A dispatch from
Washington announces that at 8
o’clock this morning the white squad-
you moved southward from 'hanapton
loads.
The Navy Department’s
which were first made public
orders,“
last
NlNG.
'.
_1_ mic-ship;
eAAanE
mom, direct that the fleet shall'pro-
-eed to the Dry Tortugas, calling at
K 91 11 es. t in passing. The vessels will
zinc-cad in this order: New York, cruis-
.-1" 11.1..1 battleship; .Massachusetts,
lndiana’, battleship; Texas,
-;;Lil1,sltip.
The Censorship in Havana.
Havana. Cuba. Jan. 15.—A decree has
Ire-an published prohibiting the publi-
1:.:tl«1n in daily newspapers of cable
dispatches .without previous censor-
ship and without twelve hours’ notice
of lhcil' rc'céipt. ‘In addition, in fu-
lure. the Post Office here will detain.
national and foreign newspapers not
having previously been censored. Vio- '
IJKOI‘S of the law are warned that they
on" under military jurisdiction.
Another edict will be published
shortly forbidding the gathering of
groups. olfmnrc than four persons,
either in the streets or in the stores.
mom CURRENCY BILL.
Provides for the Issuing of Notes Against
Gold.
Calcutta. India, Jan: 15.—-Sir James
Westlnnd, the Finance Minister of. the
Councilintroduccda bill yesterday pro-
1.'idlng for the issue of currency notes
against gold. ‘ Mr. Arthur, the Secre—
tary of State, in London, in behalf of,
tin: banks and chambers; of comerce, '
indorsecl the measure.
The Finance Minister said the Indian
money market was experiencing a per-
iod of extreme stringency. The local
resources were unable to supply the
demands-of trade. The scarcity was
due to the banks remitting thei1 capi-
tr} home and keeping as little as pos-
sible in India. This policy 11 as adopt-
ed before the legislation of 1893, and
was not in consequence of that legis-
lation. But, while they were advanc-
ing toward the attainment of 9. 16d.
rupee, this success militated against
the transfer of sterling capital to In-
dia in exchange. The banks must op-
erate upon commercial principles, and
no blame was attached to them.
Sir James VVestland denied that the
G0vc1nment 11' as holding money in or-
der to starve commerce and force up
exchange, but the recent demands on
the GOV‘,e1nment he continued, had
been so heavy that it had been obliged
to ask the Secretary of State to inter-
mit the drawings. The amount in hand
was ample to assure the convertibility
of the Indian notes. Therefore, there
vas no risk, from a currency point of
1icw.
In conclusion, the Finance Minister
said: “The Secretary of State will
draw on the Trcasury, if it is requisite,
to the full extent to which funds are '
available. But, if the demand con—'
tinues beyond that point, he will, in is—
suin'r telegraphic transfers, set apart
the gold 1eceived and transmit it to
this country. ”
‘ Swindlcr’s )Iany Victims. .
New York, Jan. 15.—Henry E.
Straight, who was arrested in Jersey
City on Thursday on charges of swind—
ling many firms and persons by means
of forged bills of lading, has been held
for extradition. Straight has been in-
dicted for defrauding George E. Van
Vorst of 341h street and Eleventh ave-
nue, New York. He is charged also
with swindling Samuel Wolf of No.
266 Canal street, who lost $369: Kop-
lauff & Seger, of Canal street, who lost
$400, and a manufacturer of Brooklyn,
who is out $800. When Straight’s meas-
ure was taken a gunshot wound scar
11 as found on the instep of his foot. He
said that it was received 11hi1e he was
in Cuba on a filibustering expedition.
Straight formerly lived in Lewisburg,
Pa.
Passed by Three Tellers. '
New York, Jan. 15.—‘-One of the new
counterfeit $100 silver certificates
turned up-at the Sub-Treasury yester—
day It came from 8. New York; bank
which had received it from a. savings
bank~in the Borough of Brooklyn. The
note was handled by three tellers be—
fore its spuriousness was discoveredby
Clerk Agens, one of the youngest em—
ployees in the building. The counter-
feit bill will be kept at the Sub-Treas-
ury for a. day or two, after which it
will be returned to the bank from.
whence it came.
Five llIincrs Entombed. 1
Butte, Mont, Jan. 15.—Two explo-
sions yesterday in ‘the tunnel for the
flume near the uppe smelting 11 orks in
Anaconda destroyed the timbering and
entombed five workmen. The best
miners and timbermcn are now at 11 ork
driving a three— foot drift near the side
of the tunnel. W'hen this can be com—
pleted it isliard to say. There are no
hopes of the men being alive.
New Mail Cancel Stamp.
Washington, Jan. 15. —A new band
stamp to be used for the cancellation
of mail matter will soon be adopted by
the Post Office Department. That now
in use has been found to be unsatisfac-
tory in several respects, the principal
defect being that the impression was
not always complete and clearly de-
fined. '
To Extra-(lite an Absconder.
Albany, Jan. 15.—C‘1overnorh Black has
made an application do Secretary ‘of
State Sherman for a requisition on ’the
French Government for the extradition
of William R. Foster, under indictment
in New York city for having robbed
the Gratuity Fund of the New York
Produce Exchange more than ten years
ago.
No Strike in Lowell.
Lowell, Mass, Jan. 15. —The Spinners'
Union last night voted not to strike,
but to support the New Bedford men.
The final vote was 177 to 64.
NEW: 11-1 RRIEF.
Citizens of Oklahoma will petition
Congress to change thei1 Territory to
Cl. State.
Three hundred persons, many on bi—
cycles, went on a fox hunt in North
Dakota yesterday.
The list of delegates to the Indian-
apolis Monetary Convention, alieady
selected, has reached 172.
Err-United States Senator Henry A.
Taber’s appointment as postmaster of
Denver, Col., pleases the people of the
State. '
The estate of the late George M.
Pullman, from an inventory field in
court at Chicago, is estimated to in-
clude $8,000,000 in stocks and bonds,
1nd $2,000,000 in real estate. ,
I
BY
THE
tron
/
N. Y. WEEKLY TRIBUNE.
Bow PAPERS
Sent to anv Address
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Norwalk Chronicler