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‘E'BEERENLE
i011 NTYJUDG E
The Honorable J. F. Greer, one of the
best known and most highly respected
countv Judges of the State of Florida,
writes of his horrible sufferings from
Inf minatory Rheumatism:
01-. ' YCF. or J. F. GREER, COUNTY 11111015,}
(ireen Cox e Springs, Clay Co. Fla.
Gm: 11452111511: Twenty-three yea1s ago I
was attacked with inflammatory rheumatism.
] was attended by the most eminent phy sician
111 the land. I visited the gr reat Sa1atoga
Springs, N. Y. the noted Hot prings of Ar—
kansas, and many other watering places,
alway s consulting with the local pl? s1cians for
directions, and rally came to 101 1da ten
years ago. About two yeais ago I had a severe
attack of rheumatism, was confined to my
room for twelve weeks, and dui mg that time
was induced to try P. P. P. Lippman' sGreat
Remedy, knowing that each ingredient was
good {or impurities of the blood. After use-
1ng two small bottles I was relieved. At four
different times since I have had slight attacks
and each time I have taken two small bottles
of P. P. P. and hav e been relieved. and I con.
Sldel‘ P. P.’ P. the best medicine of its kind.
Respectfully, J. F. GREER.
James M. Newton, of Aberdeen, Ohio,
says he bought a bottle of P. P. P. at
Hot Springs, A1kansas, and it did him
more good than three mont11S’treat-
ment at Hot Springs
Rheumatism, as well as sciatica and
gout, is cured by a cou1se of P. P. P.,
Lippman s Great Remedy.
P. P. P. Lippmans Great Remedy,is
a friend indeed to weak women. It IS
a positive and speedy cure for general
weakness and nervousness.
All skin diseases are cu1 ed by it; any-
thing from pimples to the worst cases
of eczemas succumbing to the wonder-
ful healing powers of P. P. P.
Dyspepsia and indigestion in their
worst form are cured by it. As a tonic
to restore the appetite and to regain
lost vigor, it 15 simply marvelous.
I’. P. P. is the best spring medicine
in the world. It 1emoves that heavy,
out-of—sorts feeling and restores you to
a condition of perfect physical health.
For Indigestion, Sick and Nervous
Headache, Sleeplessness, Nervousness,
Heart Failure, Fever, Chills, Debility
and Kidney Diseases, take P. P. P.,
Lippman’ s Great Remedy, the most
wonderful medicine 1n the world
Sold by all drugglsts. .
UPPMAN 31205., Apothecurler, Sole Prop'n.
Llppuun's Block. Soy-anal, GI.
i
‘V
that cough ' 3
or" throat
ALAAAAAAAAAAAi
troubifi '3 "“13
may g0
.. to your HoONEv
lungs ‘
What HOREHUUN'
does
that mean? i TADR
Hale’ 5 Honey 0! Horehound and Tar
isn’t claimed to cure . iisumption, but it
will often prevent it. A pos1tivc cure for
a cough. Sold by drugg1sts.
Pike' § Toothache Drops cure in one minute.
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AAAALLAAAA‘AA
Special to Readers ct This Paper.
orted. Good Tees and
woffees, 25c. perib. ch
TE i Send this “ad. ' and I)
send5lb1; of FINE
cents in stamps and we
will mail you 141b, of
FAMILY TEAS on receipt of this ” ed’ and 2.00
charges paid. ( . 1..)
any kind of Tea you.
may select. the best im-
THE GREAT AMERICAN TBA 60.,
31 ”11:33 Vesey St.. N. Y.. P. 0. Box as».
Horace WE. Dann,
EXCELSIOL
Liverv‘and bales Stable
lrsa‘aGI-b-\tdr-~Ififi\""s\
Opposite Dsnbury and
Norwaik Railroad depot
Norwslk. Oonn. Stylish
Single or Double Teens
with or without drivers
Rafe horses“ for women
sndchildren.
SADDLE HORSES A SPECIALTY
DAVID, w. RAYMOND
Funeral Director 1111 11111111-
39 Washington Street South Norwalk
Residence. Mensch amo Hotel.
J. D. Jennings.
UN D ERTAKL‘Q
Opposite
Street Railway Depot-
fl
«.1 a r B ELL AT OFFICE.
Piano Lessons.
‘ $38. GEORGE W. BRADLEY. (daughter
a.
of the late Wm.B . Nash.) Rives efiicent
n satisfactory instructions on the Pi sue 11
her home No. 193 Main street.
_ storm. ’
FOR BOYS AND GIRLS
THE 0061?.
A Queer but Lucky Little Texas Beast, and
Much Enjoyed by the Cowboys.
Probably not one boy in 1,000 ens '
hof the Mississippi or north of Texa:
knows in the least what a dogy is; bur
to the cowboy a plucky little dogy con
stitut-es at the same time the pride and
butt of life. It is nothing more or lesr
than a little calf whose mother, having
died When it was. very young, is force(
to eat grass long before nature intend
ed that it should, or, as the cowboy:
say, to rustle for a. living.
'Now, do not confound Texas “rus
tie” with New York and Chicago “hus
tle,” for they mean totally dififeren'
things. In cowboy dialect, to rustli
means to pick up a precarious living
against the worst possible odds, ant
this isexactly what the dogy has tr
do. No comfortable little messes an
made for it, nor is it transferred to a
foster mother. It is just left to foragi
for itself, and to live or die according
to its native har hood. Of course,
.most of’these poor, motherless animal:
die, and if one manages to live, in spitr
of fate, it, is considered entitled to till
most profound respect; for it mean:
that it has pluck, stamina, strength
force—in short, that it can rustle.
It really means rather more that
this. It also signifies that there ha:
been an unusual combination of favor
ing circumstances; that tender young
grass has existed somewhere in tht'
region round and that the climate hai
been at least3fairly mild. However,
where dogies manage to bring ‘them-
selves safely through childhood—o1
perhaps I should say calfhood—the5
make the very finest sort of cattle. Th:
amusing thing about it is, that theil
beginning to eat grass long before they
should makes them, when young, tre
mendously fat, and gives them alto
gether a most curiOus appearance
Their little bodies being so stuffy and
poddy makes their legs seem singular.
ly short, while their hair grows very
long. Then their struggle for existence .
seems to impart a very serious ex-
pression to their faces. Altogethei
their whole bearing is that of the mosi
comical self—importance. You can tell
one of them as for as you can see it,
and their coming is usually greeted
with shouts of laughter.
I-Ierds of cattle always drift before a
In Texas, when a good “north-
er" come up, they have been known tc
drift southward for miles and miles,
the largest and sturdiest being always
found in the front ranks. It is no 1111
common sight to find, bringing up the
rear, :1 number of these little doggies
bending their heads to the storm and
trudging along as bravely and untir-
ingly as their grown-up companions.
Cowboys consider it a very good,
omen 0t meet a little dogy that has
strayed from its herd, and if several
of them are together they dismount
from their ponies, threw the grotesque
little beast down, and pick aside the
long hairs to find out whether or not
it is a maverick—an expression used
for unbranded cattle, and if it is they
cast lots for it, and the lucky one im-
mediately heats his skillet or other in-
struments and brands it with his em-
ployer’s mark—Chicago Inter-Ocean.
America’s Toasel Production.
Skaneateles and its neighbor, Mar-
:ellus, stand alone in America in one
ndustry, raising teascls. It was more
.ha'n fifty years ago when this. lyrics
.ry began in Onondaga county. For
ifty years it has been more to the
‘armers of two towns than all other
1gricultural pursuits combined. And
ret the teasel business has" never ex-
ended beyond Skaneateles and Mar-
iellus, and as there is no inc-rune in
:he demand from year to year it prob-
Lbly never will.
The teasel is a biennial ref-1121111113
the thistle. and during its first your
forms a plant, and during its second
growsjnto a bush, which sends out
ranches six feet high. The tease!
{rows wild all over America, but the
reads are soft, with pliable petals.
the cultivated tease] is stiff as wire.
wherein lies its commercial value, for
the heads are clipped 01f and set in
'rames, which. thus equipped. are
'ubbed over finerlgrades of woollen
:10th to remove the nap from the
wool and leave the surface soft and '
‘ough as'desired. Machines with steel '
:eeth have been invented to do this:
work, but have not taken the teasel’ is
place. The teeth break soon, and the
nachine is worthless and to replace
iteel teeth costs more than to iciilace
:easels. ~New York Sun.
Not So Desperately Slow.
Down in Ohio the other day, not
very far from Cleveland, Itook a car-
ryail or ‘bus at a country station to
ride inland a few miles. The driver,
who carried the mail for Uncle Sam,
was disposed to be quite communica-
tive.
“You don’t live ’round here, I
s’pose?” he remarked, interrogatively.
“No—not now,”I replied. “I’m from
Chicago.” .
“Pretty big place, ain’t It?” he con-
tinued. -
“Yes, it’s a large city,” I said.
“I s'pose there’s something goin’ on
there most of .the time, ain’t there?”
hé asked. I nodded aflirmitively.
“Well, we ain’t so darned slow
down here,” he added. “Had a. dance
in the Hinckley Ridge schoolhouse last
night, and there’ll be a turkey raffle
Il‘uesday.”-_Chicago Times-Herald.
The lines on no two human hands
are exactly alike. This fact is utilized
in China in an interesting way.,When
a traveller desires a passport, the palm
of his hand is covered with fine oil-
pnint and an impression is taken on
thin, damp paper. 'lhis paper, oflicial-
ly signed, is his passport. «mid-Bits
RISK-ED HIS LIFE TO KEEP HIS WORD.
An V Oregon Embezzler Who Swam Tor-
' rents to Surrender to Justice.
“You need not send an officer for me
I will come when I am wanted.”
Vincent Sutton, Postmaster at Ore
town, Tillamook County, was wanted
for embezzlement by the United Sta-tea
authorities. A plain tale, truly, and
one which smacks of the vulgar com-
monplace, but mark ‘the difference.
This Sutton is a man of simple mind,
and to him it seemed no harm would
be done if he eked out the pittance or .
his office of postmaster by adding the
sums 'paid 'in for the purchase of
money orders, a matter of some $355
when all was counted. He would
make it good in his 011.1 time, and in
truth he thought it no wrong. But
the United States does not do busi-
ness that way, and in due time there
came "an indictment, found by the
Oregon Grand Jury. Sutton heard.
He realized that he had done wrong.
He was ready to meet his punish
ment. Nay, he was readyto go to
meet it at the peril of his life. Noth-
ing prevented if he chose to leave the
state. None could find him in the bit-
ter weather did he prefer to hide in
the fastness of his own trackless
mountains, but it came home to him,
what he had not realized when he
took the money. that he had done
wrong, and he alone must ‘ bear the
burden.
Now, this was not a matter of
walking downtown to give yourself
up to the police or the marshal.
So it came that the simple-minded
man of primitive mold sat down
and wrote a leter to Marshal Grady
in Portland, that he would come him-
self to the nearest station on the
railroad, Sheridan, and there sum-em
der to an oflicer of the law. Let the
officer come to Sheridan by a. certain
day and he would be there. He
kept his word, albeit more than once
it nearly cost him his life.
Sutton has a wife. He kissed her
good—bye and stuffed his pockets
with the food which she, poor wo-
man, had put up for him with loving
care, enough to last him two days, it
might be, on the way to Sheridan.
The Three Rivers, triple thundere-r in
sooth, was booming with sullen, hun«
gry roar, turbid with swirling mud,
carrying on its angry breast sweep-
ing logs and jagged'roots, torn from
their sockets by the searching flood.
Five times it had to be crossed by
Sutton on his way, swimming 01'
wading, or chancing his life on :1
treacherous log. Once he was nearly
smothered in a‘bottomless pit of mud
as dangerous as the quiet, remorse
less suck of a quicksand that never
gives up its dead. It was bitter cold,
and he must keep afoot or perish.
But-there is iron in this man’s blood.
He had pledged his word and he got
there.
Now, when this simple talc was
told to Judge Bellinger, sitting in
Portland as the representative of
Federal law, he. being a man, was
troubled in mind, for here was one
who had set his life at the value of
a pin fee that the law plight have
he way, and yet justice must be done
and punishment meted as is set
down in the books. Nevertheless
tin-re are degrees, and Judge Bel-
linger resolved that this was a case
where it would not strain the quality
of justice were it softened with mer.
cy. Therefore be imposed the lowest
penalty, which is imprisonment for
six months and a fine equal to the
sum which Sutton appropriated-Cor-
respondent San Francisco Exam-
IUG‘I'.
HIS IMPOVER‘I‘SHED' UNCLE.
the Cadet and the Emperor Frederick of
Germany.
This story is told by a German army
)fliccr:
It is strictly against the rules of the
nilitary academy for a cadet to enter
my of the beer gardens in Berlin un-
iccompanied by a relative. A friend
of mine. however, hoping to be unde-
tected, ventured one night unattended.
A gentleman came in and sat at a
small table near him and began chat-
iing pleasantly, when suddenly one of
the chiefs of the academy passed them.
“Sir,‘ " whispered the lad, “will you
be my uncle?"
"Ceitainly,’ said the gentleman, smil-
111g.
Next morning at parade the unfortu-
nate youth, who had hoped to escape,
was called by name from the ranks.
Trembling, he obeyed the call ,and
came forward.
“You were in the beer garden last
night?” grufily said the captain.
“Yes, sir. but I was‘with my uncle.”
“Your ‘uncle’ happened to be the
Crown Prince, who wrote this morn-
ing to ask me to let you off punish-
ment. Never let it happen again.”
The Crown Prince of this incident
was the late Emperor Frederick.
" INDIAN GIRLS owe A PARTY.
The Peculiar Names of Some of Those in
Attendance.
The Indian girls of the Crow Agency
boarding-school in Montana gave a soi-
rée dansante the other evening, and
the following girls were present: Clara
Spotted~Horse, Edith Long-Ear, Kittie
Medicine-Tail, Lena. Old-Bear, Clara
Bull-Nose, Blanche Little-Star, Nellie
Sh ell-on-the-Neck, Mary Old-Jack-Rab-
bit, Bertha Full-Mouth, Katie Drea-
mer, Fanny Plenty-Butterflies, Bessie
Crooker-Arm, Martha Long-Neck, Isa-
bel Lunch, Flay Hairy-Wolf, Alice
Shoots-as-She-Goes, Stella Wolf-House,
Lucy Hawks, Beatrice Beads-on-Ankle,
Susie Bear-Lays-Down, Louisa Three-
.Wolves, Anna Medicine-Pipe, Maggie
Broken-Ankle, Ruth Bear-in-the-Mid-
die, Helen Come-Out-of-the-Fog, Sarah
Three-Irons, Ida Wrinkle-Face, Jessie
Flat-Head~Woman,. Lottie Grandmoth-
er’s-Knife, Esther Knows-Her—Gun,
Minnie Nods-at-Bear and Daisy Young:
’ Heifer.—New York Tribune. '
EFFECT OF A POEM.
rROM 'T A COWBOY WASIMPELLED
TO MOUNT FORTUNE’S LAD-DER.
Loft His Old Life and in Time Became a
Prosperous Man- and Secretary of One
of the Largest Manufacturing Con-
cerns in the South. V
Jack Mason was born and brought
up on a Texas ranch. He had no moth.
er and not very much of a father, so
he just roved over the great prairies,
knocked about with men and cattle,
and‘ ‘growe
was only one vocation open—that of a.
zowboy. '
By hook or by crook, Jack managed
to get a sort of smattering ofi‘the three
B’s, and was especially attracted to
the pleasing art of reading.
however, very little opportunity for
indulging his tastes in this direction,
as the very best book he had ever seen,
was an old almanac.
Vhen about sixteen Jack started out
one day with a comrade or two to
round up a. herd of cattle. An unwrit-
ten code which obtains allover these
immense tiacts of land is that when
rounding up cowboys are at perfect
Liberty to enter any house on route and
help themselves. to anything in the
way of food that they find, the only
icknowledgement required from them
being that they shall pour water over
the fire before going away. This, of
:ou'rse, is to prevent any possibility of
fire after their departure, and the real
:owboy is as -strenuous about this
point of etiquette as the society man is
ibout his party call.
One stormy evening, after a trump of
many a weary mile, Jack and his com-
rade came to one of these rude, de«
terted houses, and thankfully availed
themselves of its sheltering roof. It
was but the work of a moment to pos‘
scss themselves of a light and fire, and
finding both pork and potatoes in the
house, they eked out a very comfort:
ible meal with what they carried in
their pouches.
An atmosphere of well-bred content
and cheer dominated the little room,
when suddenly Jack started up, at—
tracted by something which he thought
he espied on a shelf in the corner. No!
He was not mistaken. ”It was a book,
1 copy of Meredith’s “Lucile." Now
lack had never read a line of poetry in
his life; but he sat down close to the
sputtering candle and opened the new-
'ou'11d treasure with joyous expectancy.
At 4 o’clock the next morninc, Jack
Mason closed the volume, and with it
1 chapter of his life, for a fixed reso-
iution had taken possession of him,
body and soul. The poem had por-
trayed a life so different from his own
that he made up his mind that there
nust be something better even for him
:han being a cowboy on the plains all
iis life, and the sun was not very high
11 the heavens that very day when he
sad succeeded in transferring his job
It rounding up to another cowboy, and
was already on his way to the nearest
rity. Here he succeeded in finding a
nan he had once met on the prairies,
1nd who gave him employment and .a
ittle kindly advice as to the best use
.0 make of his time.
Jack was really in dead earnest, so
me worked, studied and observed
:hrough many succeeding years, until
10-day he is an educated, prosperous
nan, the secretaryVOfuone of the lar-
gest manufacturing concerns in the
South, all because chance or Provi-
ience threw in his way at just the
ight time a book breathing a thorough
y refined atmosphere. and full of no-
')le, uplifting sentiments. —Chicago In-
er- -(.)ce11n
A Postage Adder.
A novel system of paying postage
without the- use of postage stamps has
been adopted by the German govern-
ment. The postal authorities rent to
persons or firms doing a large mail
business a machine called a postage
adder, which stamps an official mark
on all letters passed through it and
registers the amount of postage due.
it works in much the same way as a
gas meter. It stamps on the letter the
date and hour and amount of postage
required. The stamping of an envel-
ope takes less than two seconds, or at
the rate of two thousand- pcr hour.
The new appaiatus is designed emce-
lally to saie labor and time to large
fi1111s 01 to persons who have a large
correspondence. An additional ad-
vantage is that it is not necessary to
cancel the postmark of the postage
adder at the post office. 011 consulting
the adder, "the postage due is seen at
a glance, and when the amount is paid
there is no further t10uble.—Golde11
Days.
No Cause for Ala’rrn. '
The attendant who had thoughtless
1y laid his hand on the arm of the Sul-
tan’s chair jumped back in alarm, ex-
claiming:
“What is it? An earthquake?”
“Not that I know of,” replied the
Sultan.
“Possibly, your Majesty has chills
and fever?"
“No. I know what you have refer-
ence to. I’ve read about it in the
newspapers. What you felt was the
quivering of my uncertain sovereignty.
You needn’t pay any attention to it.
It’s the same old totter.”—Washington
Star. ‘
sure of One Thing”
The boy, who was toiling the
up
ong‘ and devious hill. turned out hur-
dedly when near the top to make way
[or a fat and frantic wheelman, who
had lost control of his machine. “Say,
bub ” yelled the bicyclist, “how far is
t to the bottom of this hill?" “1 don’t
know exactly what the distance is,"
:he bov called out after him, “but
ran ’11 be there in about foux seconds,
md there’s a creek at the bottom of 1
t.’-’-——Chicago Tribune.
To such as he there -
He had, ‘
—‘-——.
'
THE HOUSEKEESPER’S FRIEND,
THE LAUNDRESS’
while the superb cake of Toilet Soap 1n ever-y
package, IS the JoyE of the whole family. .
The J. B. WILLIAMS CO-.Glastonhm.(1‘.onn.
Makers of Williams Famous Shaving Snaps.
Write for catalogue of choice premium
PRIDE.
.of the Philadelphia schools.
CLOSE CAL-Lyon JACK TAR.
Just. as a Shark Was About to Grab Him 1
Swordfish Got the Shark.
I was mate on the Lovely Lou oi
Bangor, and we had been on our way
to South America for ’about foul
weeks. The wind had left the ship
during the last day of this period, and
we were dipping our peak to a lolling
swell that seemed to come from no
where and return to the same place
without making a ripple on the blue
surface of the ocean.
Suddenly there came a splash, and
the cook ran to'where I was standing
on the poop deck, crying that one of
the sailors had tumbled overboard.
The Lou had no way, and I laughed at
the idea of him drowning, telling the
cook to throw him a rope, walking to
the rail as I did so. The sailor was
swimming about the quarter enjoying
his bath when I suddenly saw an omi-
nous black fin make its appearance a
hundred yards or so from the ship. I
yelled for the rope, and as I yelled I
saw the fin move toward the sailor,
cutting the water like a knife. I knew
that unless the man was taken out
quickly he would be devoured, and
rushed to the cabin grating to get :1
line. Seizlng a piece of rope I hasten-
ed to the rail just in time to see the
form of an immense shark turn on its
side to seize the sailor. As it did so
i there was an instant’s glimpse of a
long brown body, 'and then the water
was lashed into a sea. of yeasty foam,
the shark seemingly being in trouble.
I threw the line, and in a moment the
sailor “as aboard, scared out of his
wits, but safe and sound. The thresh‘
ing in the water still continuing, we
proceeded to investigate, and directly
we were able to see that the shark had
been pinned by a large swordfish, the
sword running through the jaws of
the shark in such a manner as to pre- .
vent the fish from opening them.
_ Whether the shark’s antagonist had
deliberately attacked the shark we
know not, but its timely-and unex-
pected appearance saved the sailor’s
life beyond a doubt, as another in-
stant would have sent the teeth of the
shark into the body of the man—Yew
Orleans Democrat. ,
. I ‘
A N UN DOCTOR.
She Helps to Cure the Sick and Extracts
Aching Teeth.
Kalamazoo, Mich, enjoys the distinc-
tion of having the-only licensed nun
doctor in the United States. She Is
Sister Raphael O’Brien, a. member of
the religious order of the Sisters of
St. Joseph, who have charge of the
Borgess Hospital, in Kalamazoo.
She is a woman in the prime of life.
Her medical course was taken in one
When
she had received her diploma author.
izing her to practice medicine she be«
came convinced that she had a voca-
tion for the religious life, and, aban-
doning what promised to be a most
prosperous worldly career, she entered
the convent of the Sisters of St. Jos-
eph. _
The usual probationary period for
all novices having been undergone, she
was invested with the habit of the or-
der and sent to the Borgess Hospital,
where her medical skill was made use
of. In a short time her office became
the rendezvous of the sore and af-
flicted. It is‘now thronged daily. She
enjoys a high reputation amongrt‘he
local medical fraternity. The patients
that apply to the hospital, especially
the poor, attribute almost miraculous
power to her prescriptions. In her of-
fice she has a dentist’s chair and a full
outfit of surgical appliances.
In- every convent there is some sis-
er who acts as infirmarlan, and who
is skilled in the compounding of drugs,
of which a complete assortment is al-
ways at hand, but Sister Raphael is
the only nun in the United States duly
qualified to write M. D. after her
na.me,-—New York Journal.
An Unsafe Question.
He (angrily)—Was there any fool
sweet on you before I married you?
She—Yes, one.
“I’m sorry you rejected him."
“But I didn’t reject him; I mar-1'31"
him.”——Dub_lin Freeman.
THE WITS.
"Time and tide wait for no man." If
'hey did, every other m‘sn would kick.
~Puck.
WITH
No invention. we think, ever caused
finite as much talk as the telephone.—
Yonkers Statesman.
Berlin 111—“11 took three hours for our
Jarade to pass a given point " Mrs.
Berham— ‘Was the given point a sa-
oon?”——T1uth .
Guest—“This wine is really excel-
ent!” Host (to himself)—“This fellow
s either an ignoramus or he is the ras-
tal who sold me that wine."—Fliegende
Blatter.
In the depths of the Ocean—The
Mermaid—“Do you really love me so
much?” The Merman—“Dearesti I
Eould be happy with you in a dime mu-
seum !"'—Puck.
A “’ant Unfilled—Pecksnifl-“Well.
’ohnnie. I suppose Santa Claus was a
good friend to you?" Johnnie—f‘Nit!
1 Santa Claus that can’t come any
nearer a bike than a Bible ain’t no
iieud o’ mine!"-—'l‘ruth.
An Unexpected Result.—Brown-“I
bought the Venezuelan trouble would
:erminate in some such way." Jones
—“Did you? It never occurred to me
hat it would give the King of Sweden
1 chance to get his name in the pa~
oers.”—' ‘ruth.
Young Lawyer (on his first case)—
‘I’d give anything to win this case, but:
I don’ t see how it is possible to clear:
rou.” Prisoner (modestly suggesting)
~“I don’t sp’os ye’d like ter swear yer
:0mmitted the crime yerself, would
rer?”—Tid-Bits.
Bacon—I was reading to— day of a
violin maker who made over ’2, 000 fid—
iles in his life. ,
Egbert—It’s a fact, then, that the
evil :1 man does lives after him.41'onk—
:rs Statesman.
“What’s the gloaming, Uncle Tom 2'".
"Well, before a man is married it is.
the time to take a. walk; but after he
s married it is the time he falls over
ocklng horses and building blocks on
'he sitting-room floor.”——Chlcago Re-
:ord.
“No, Mr. Pumperly, 'we can't stand
rour milk any longer.” ‘
“What’s the trouble with it, ma’am ?"
“Well, it's like this, Mr. Pumpcrly.
four milk is too weak for bluing and .
:00 wet for m1lk "—Cleveland Plain
')eaier.
“How did the Vegetarians’ Congress
:0 0113‘?”
“All right until the last day, when
iome kind- hearted but thoughtless per-
:on invited the delegates to groom and
visit the hog-killing establishment's."—
Zhicago Tribune.
“You are over 40; why don't you
marry?”
“Because I do not care to marry an
elderly woman. while a. young girl
would be foolish to 'marry me, and I do
1ot care to marry a foolish glrl."—B‘iie~
rende Blaetter.
Younger Son—Papa, did you throw
stones at apples when you were a boy?; '
1« ather—\o. I knocked a peach off
1 tree once. and what do you think!
Son—You broke a window.
Lather—No; I knocked off a peach,
in . on opening it found the stone ~-‘-.i-
ustrated Bits.
Assurance
Tlmmlns—I have a notion to write
me of these Scotch dialect stories. ,
Simmons—But you don’ t know any-
hing about Scotch dialect.
Timmlns—I know as much about it
rs the people who buy the stories.—
‘ndianapolis Journal.
-——-—-u_
Varieties of the‘Word " blather."
Here are fourteen varieties of the
word “mother," all bearing ardistinct
esembiance: Anglo-Saxon, modor;
Persian, Madr; Sanscrit, matr; Greek.
neter; Italian, madre; French, mere;
Swedish. moder; Danish, the same;
)utch, moeder; German, mutter; Rus-
iian mater; Celtic, mathair; Hebrew,
.111: ‘11: til‘I'. am.
Stamped
“730‘s”
‘ Always the Same I
Norwalk Chronicler