THE EvENiNG GAZETTE “ “Won’t you take this 'seat?” said the - ‘ gentleman in the car, rising and lift- ing his hat. ‘. “No, thank you,” said the girl'with the skates over her arm; “I’ve been skating, and I’m tired sitting down.”— ‘Yonkers Statesman. Mr. Wheeler—I suppose the great and mysterious Robert has many admir- ers in Boston, Miss Emerson? Miss Emerson—Why, yes, Mr. Wheeler—even the beans go through a course of Browning before they come to the table—New Rochelle Life. “Have you any bicycle bloomers?” asked the New York girl entering a Boston store. “N0, miss,” replied the salesman, adjusting his glasses; “I was not aware that bicycles were bloomers. I can show you some nice patterns for ladies who ride bicycles.”—-Yonkers Statesman 1‘ “Ah!” said Henry Peck; “your ser- mon on heaven pleased me mightily.” “I’m so glad, brother,” responded the minister. “Yes, it was fine, especially that pas- sage where you described it as a place in which there is no marrying or giv- ing in marriage.”—Philadelphi'a North American. Johnny—Ma, do you' believe in ghosts? Ma—No. J ohnny—Pa does. Ma—I'Vhat makes you think so? Johnny—A man ast pa to meet him down town to—night, and pa said he would if he could get away from the old spook—Cleveland Leader. “I wish there was some new way of killing time,” said young Mr. Point ' Breeze to Miss Homewood last night. “I can suggest one way of killing time which was not possible for a long while,” replied the maiden. “Well?" “Sleigh it!” A livery stable was rung up by telephone.-—Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. First Gentleman (entering the apart- ment of second gentleman); “About a- year ago you challenged me to fight a~._due1.” Second Gentleman (sternly):_ sir.” First Gentleman: “And I told you that I had just been married and I did not care to risk my life at any haz- ard.” ' Second Gentleman (haughtily): “I did, ‘51 .rememlwr, sir." . First Gentleman (bitterly): “Well, my feelings have changed; any time u want to fight, let me know.” *" A Frightful Alternative. . Ethel (very rich)—If I accept you, you will have to give up smoking and drinking. Bob (very poor)—-If you don’t accept me, I’ll have to give up smoking, drink- ing and eating. Weakened One Man’s Constitution Until It Brought Him to Death’s Door. Mr. James S. Harrison, a well-known and highly respected citizen of Cleve-- land, 0., was for years a sufferer from dyspepsia and general debility, and in ' his weakened condition, resulting from the above causes, he had the additional ill-luck to fall a victim to malaria from this complication of disorders. Mr. Harrison’s condition was becoming very serious, when he commenced to take P. P. P., Lippman’s Great Remedy. Its effects were marked and immediate. Read his letter to us. Its earnestness is apparent: GENTLEMEN’: For the benefit of all suffering from dyspepsia and general. debility I beg to submit my testimonial as to the efficacy of your 1’. P. P., Lipp- man’s Great Remedy, as a. positive cure for all the distressing complaints [from which I suffered. My system was also full of Malaria and my condition was growing very serious; I had no appetite, was losing strength and was completely broken down in health, but now my health is completely restored, and I can eat like a field laborer, without the slightest fear of any serious results. I take great pleasure in telling the world that l’. P. P. did the grand work of restoring me to my accustomed health. Yours truly, - JAMES S. HARRISON, Cleveland, 0. If you get up feeling tired and stupid, . P. P. P. should be taken—it will make you feel well. P. P. P. cures eczema, that tortun ing, itching disease of the skin and blood. If your blood is kept pure, you will not be disfigured with pimples, boils and blotches. ' P. P. P. is the deadly foe and van quisher of rheumatism. Its effects are immediate and lasting, and it 10t only relieves, but permanently cures. Scrofula, which is hereditary and deep-seated in the blood can be cured by l’. P. P. It is the one and only posi~ tive cure for this dread disease. Sufferers from kidney troubles find immediate relief when they take P. P. 2‘. as it cures all irregularities and re- stores to nature her proper functions. Sold by all—drugglsts. - uPpM'AN egos" A‘pgliecaries. Sole Prop'n, - Ll man's lock.§avnnnnh,0a.» ' ' THE KITE IN WARFARE. Experimenting‘VVith Explosives Dropped from the Clouds. ’ Cuban sympathizers in Boston have been experimenting with a kite as a means of aerial warfare. It is an elec- trician of Lynn, Mass. who has con- ceived the device, and recent experi- ments have proved that it is dangerous and promises to be effective. The tests were made on the north shore above the Merrimac River. A New York chemist, who gave the name of Robinson, and the Lynn elec- trician, accompanied by members of the local Junta, met at a country sta- tion and carried the kite near the beach. There were no residences for miles around. ‘ Their outfit included a big cotton kite and several thousand feet of strong cord, the whole capable of carrying seventy pounds in a heavy wind. To the kite was fastened twenty-five . pounds of the explosive, with a fulmi- nate cap for discharging it, and around the cord of ‘the kite were wound two fine insulated wires connected with the battery. There was a strong carry- ing breeze, and after a few attempts. the big kite floated beautifully. The wind carried it nearly -a mile toward the coast, and when it was about sixty feet above a deserted barn the explo- sive was dropped and discharged. At this time 5,000 feet, nearly a mile, of line was out. EFFECT OF EXPLOSIVE DROPPED FROM A KITE. The effect of the explosive was ter— rifle. The barn disappeared in a cloud of dust and sand, while four big trees in the vicinity were blown into tooth- picks. The concussion was such that the electrician was thrown to the ground insensible. ' An experiment was also made to test the destructive power of the explosive. A trench was dug in the sand, and about 115 pounds of the explosive was buried, with a fulminate cap, and the wires of the battery were attached. The trench was then filled in, and the party retreated to a distance of nearly a mile before the mine Was fired. The result was an explosion that shook the ground for miles, and threw every man in the party flat on his face. Examination of the place where the mine had been laid showed that an enormous hole had been torn in the ground, and that for hundreds of feet in every direction the sand had been torn up, causing immense ridges and furrows. HORSELESS CABS NOW. Soon There “’ill be No Horses Drawing Carriages in the Streets. The New York Cab Company is about to begin running five horseless coupe cabs by compressed air. Should the experiment prove successful, com- pressed air will be the motive power on all the company’s cabs. “I believe that the time is not far dis- tant when you will not see a horse in front of a cab in New York City,” said the company’s mechanical engineer yesterday. For more than two years we have been experimenting, but we did not discover anything feasible until recently. The trouble has been with the motor. Electricity was not power- ful enough and the gas which escapes from a gasoline motor made a disa; greeablc noise. “Our presentmotor is theinvention of a Brooklyn man. The apparatus is so‘ simple that it can be attached to any of the coupe cabs which we have in use at present. The compressed air is carried in a cylinder which is at: tached to the rear axle. “The driver’s seat can be folded up if desired, and the motor can be started by a wheel or lever operated by the passenger in the cab.” He Abased Himself. General Ogle. a member of the Penn- sylvania Assembly, had been deputed to compose an address to the newly elected President, Andrew Jackson. When the bluff old warrior submitted his document to the House a. fellow- member, a dapper little fellow from Philadelphia, observed: . “Pardon me, Generals I hesitate about making any suggestion to so dis- tinguished an individual, but I cannot refrain from saying that it is custom- ary with cultured letter-writers to write the first personalpronoun with a capital ‘1’ instead of a small ‘i.’ ”' General Ogle returned a look of scorn. “Sir," said be, “when I write to so great a man as General Andrew Jackson, Democratic President of the United States, I abase myself. I abase myself, sir. I use as small an ‘i’ as I can put upon paper. But, sir, if ever I should have to write to a little snipe like you I would use an ‘I,’ sir that would fill tw0 pages of foolsczml”—-Bal- timore Sun. Lazy Sultan. The extreme of luxury has perhaps been reached by the Sultan of Morocco. He has a narrow gauge railway run- ning through all the rooms of his pal- ace, and travels about on a sort of sleigh propelled by a little motor. Thu “line” ends at his bedroom—Chicago , _ inter-Ocean. ~ . . . ,- ., The introduction of the orange' into Europe from China dates back to, the . l The convicts in New York State are . deprived of work by the law’which year 1333. It was first brought to some province of France. In 1421 it i was taken to Pamplona, in Spain. Slips or seeds were then taken to dif- ferent parts of the country; and it is now cultivated in many places along the Mediterranean coast of Spain. . -—v, Spain has sh‘owfl her unworthiness to control colonies since she began to . possess them. One'by one they have revolted against her oppression and thrown off her rule, only a hand- breadth besides her Caribbean posses- sions and the Philippines remaining to her. Her pride is interested in the retention of these, but so it has been,- without avail, in the case of other pos- sessions, and so it is sure sooner or later to be with these. The showing in 1896 is affected to a considerable extent by the loss of the trade with Cuba, which in 1895, ex- ported $52,000,000 of her products to the United States, and took in return ~m01‘e than $12,000,000 of this country’s products. This wiping out almost of a trade of over $00,000,000 makes its :mpression on the trade reports, and has its effect in contributing to the depression of which complaint is made in many quarters, Bicycles form a new article of ex- portation. and of these there was ex- ported during the year upward of $3,- 000,000. Of this went to the United States Kingdom, $220000 to Germany, $120,000 to France. more than $400,000 to the rest of Europe, more than $515,000 to British North America, and $350,000 to British Australia.‘ Bicycles worth $35,- 030 were srnt to Africa. Cuba was not so immersed in war as to escape the bt‘siucss. and she took $5,000 of bicy- (it‘s. The year just closing has witnessed a shortage of unusual extent in the wheat crops of several of the chief \‘s‘lieat-growing countries of the world. The great Russian Empire, which ranks to the United States in import. ance. as a country of wheat supply, has produced this season a largely di. minished crop, while India and Aus- amount $1,200,000 . i i l I 1 l 1 l tralia. other leading sources of supply. . have actually changed from exporting to importing countries. The next wheat , crop of Austraha wdl be harvested in ; lars if he could restore his sight. January, and the indications now point , to a product far below the average . _ . _ scientist in England. Edison is work- The same is true of the coming crop 01 India, to be gathered in April. ports received from Argentina and sev eral other countries are also unfavor. able. ring simultaneously in different coun- The re . These unusual shortages, occur- . tries, have caused a scarcity in the wheat supply not experienced fox years, and the result is a marked ad: vance in the price of this important cereal. went into effect January 1, and those having them in charge fear the result. There is a village in Australia called Storbech, of which all the inhabitants are chess players. The game is regu- larly taught in the schools, and every year there is a public examination in the game, and a distribution of prizes in the shape of chess-boards. The report that the European Powers will generally approve the permanent arbitration treaty between Great Brit- ain and the United States is gratify- lng. One of these days let it be hoped each one of them will’ have a similar treaty of its own with the others. An action has been begun in Brook- lyn to punish a railway company for not keeping its cars heated in cold weather. If these proceedings prove successful there may yet be hope for i very long-suffering people, who are now obliged to submit to much ill treat- ment from railway corporations. Mr. Henry Oliver, Jr., the Pittsburg manufacturer, who was a member of. the Tariff Commission in 1882, and who is associated with the Carnegie in- terests in the steel industry, advises that the tariff should be revised by “making a horizontal reduction of from 25 to 33 per cent. on the McKin- ley rates.” Queen Victoria has already begun to prepare the program of the ceremonies whiclrwill celebrate the sixtieth anni. versary of her accession to the throne. Although these will not occur until next year, rents in London are said to have risen in anticipation of the great number of strangers who will visit the city. The Syracuse Post gave to each of the fifty-two carrier boys in its em- ploy a curious Christmas gift—a full, paid-up membership in the Syracuse Young Men’s Christian Association: The membership admits them to every department of the association, includ- ing its gymnasium privileges and edu- cational classes. Mr. Cha'rlcs""Ilouss," one of the rich- est men in New York, and who is to- tally blind, made a public offer a short time ago to pay Edison 1,000,000 dol- Mr. Rouss also extends his offer to any ing constantly at the Rontgen rays to effect a cure, and hopes to be able to ,. ________ Heartless. “Miss Gush admits that she is close to thirty.” “Thirty! touchback Plaindealer. Wéli. she’d better make a for safety!”—Cleveland _ ner task of dish washing loses its terrors, and all household cleaning is accomplished quickly and easily by the use of ‘ ""1 . * . 3min} I .._.. IS OVER... \ NUWis he TIME To Subscribe for the Largest package—greatest economy. THE N. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY. St. Louis. F i in 1-...” New York, Boston, Philadelphia. INSURANEEE— r AWme Man Keeps. * his Home Insured “Against Fire. THE BEST COMPANIES REPRESENT -h i'. w. H. BYINGTON. noon I, anzm: wanna. -_ - iuonwmfioouu I AND‘ WEEKLY N. l. TlllllllNl. Both PaoersISent to one Address
Norwalk Chronicler