. v Vooera
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c—-——.. ---____.~..._...__.- _.— 1,“
I: N ANC Ll"‘- Pl SBAND.
‘ltie e are hm 1 1nd; .110 2110 pr.etty.
Théie axe hush. -11ds 1 1 ‘ 3 witty,
There are husbands wt; 1 L1 public are as
smilinar as the morn;
There are. husbands who are he: tlthy ,
There are husbands who are wealt by .
But the real angelic husband —- well,
.never yet been born.
he's
Some for strength of love are noted,
Who are really so devoted
‘ That whene‘er their wives are absent they are
lonesome and forlorn:
And 110w and then you’ll find one
W'ho‘s a fairly good'and kind one,
Yet the real angelic husband—Oh, he’s never
yet been born.
So the woman who is mated
To a man who is iated
As “pretty fair” should che11sh him for ever
and a day:
For the real angelic creature,
Perfect. quite. in" every feature——
' He has never beendiscovered, and he won’t
be, so they say."
—T. B. Aldrich in the Forum.
PERSISTEN CY WON.
Arthur Singleton was being refused
the logical outcome of proposing to Miss
Berkley after an acquaintance of barely
three weeks. Furthermore, the young
lady, no less compassionate than beau-
tiful, had deemed it advisable to sug-
gest, for his own sake, that his visits
should cease, until he could regard her
merely as a faithful friend who, though
esteeming him highly, did not love him
and could never be his wife.
“Is it not better so?” she asked. “Af-
ter what has now ‘ passed between us—
if you are as sincere in'your profession
of regard for me as I believe you are——
. my apparent lack of a reciprocal senti-
ment, being day by day impressed upon
you, must necessarily cause you great
pain.”
“And in requesting me to cease my
visits, are you not, Miss Berkley, actu-
ated by a fear of the consequence of
their continuance—to yourself?”
“I don’t understand you,” said Miss
Berkley, looking at him quickly. She
saw a fair smile playing about the cor-
ners of his mouth, but in her sur p1ise
she failed to notice how grim it was.
“I mean, ’ietuined Singleton “that
having formed the resolution not to
{love me, are you not fearful lest a pro-
longed acquaintance should impel you
to accept me as a husband?"
An expression of blank astoni hment
overspread Miss Be1 kley face; then a
flush of pardonable indignation mantle-
ed her brow.
'I must confess myself a dull obse1 ver
of human natu1 6, M1. Singleton, for
during the three weeks I have known
you I was not aware that egotism was
lominant in your character.”
Why not say ‘0011fidence’?-—-But no
matter—call it what you will. Your
manner plainly indicates, however, that
you thing the very idea of my being
able to shake your resolution is absurd.
[will prove it is not."
“How?” asked Miss Berkley, sarcas-
tically. -
"By winning you for my mi 4 againet
y'oui will.’
“Oh, indeed!”
“The entei prise is unique, 1 11 con-
fess,” continued the impe1turable Sing-
leton. “Let us make it more so. You
like bonbons, do you not? Well, I am
especially desirous of having you select
' a bookmark for me. Now, I will wager
abox of bonbons against a bookmark
that three months from to- day you will
accept me as a husband—subject, how-
ever, to certain conditions.”
"And the conditions. please?“ The
smile on Miss Berkley’s lips would in all
probability have discouraged any one
else, but Singleton did not seem to mind
it" in the least.
‘ First, that you continue to receive
me as you have lately done; secondly,
that at the expiration of the three
months you will give me an opportunity
to repeat my proposal, and that you
will then give me a definite answer.’
"Very well; I accept the wager and
grant tne conditions.”
‘ Your hand upon it, Miss Berkley.”
They , shook hands; then Singleton
withdrew.
. About this time Lady Plympton gave
a ball in honor of the home coming of
her son, Captain George, who had for
several years served .Her Majesty in a
military capacity in India. Singleton
beSought of Miss Berkley the privilege
of escorting her to the function, and it
was accorded him; but when he be-
sought of her the further privilege of
inscribing his name on her dancing card
in five or six places, his hopes were
dashed by the intimation that he would
be restricted to two.
After their first measure they separ-
ated. Miss Berkley was then appropri-
ated by the hero of the evening, Cap-
tain George Plympton, whose attentions
to her for the next few hours were con-
-spicuous enough to excite comment. It
was also apparent that Miss Berkley
found the young officer as fascinating as
he found her, and it was a mooted ques-
tion among the Speculative whether or
not Miss Berkley had ever treated man
so graciously before: '
lint where was Singleton?
Oh, Singleton was dancing with Mrs.
Colchester, a charming widow, young
nandsome witty and rich.
By and by Captain George proposed
' to Miss Berkley that they should “sit
out” one of the dances. He knew 'of
"such a charming place—a little alcove
half way upstairswwouldn’t she come?
W ell,
did not sit in that little alcove, for there
they found Mr. Singleton and Mrs. Col—
chester. They all nodded pleasantly to
one another, and Captain George and
Miss Berkley “sat it out” somewhere
else; In consequence of this Miss Berk-
ley has since consistently and emphati—
1ally maintained that a bachelm who
delibeia‘tely flirts with a widow 1n the
presence of an assembly of iespectable
people is a social abomination and
should be repressed.
The morning of September ll dawned
clear and brigl1t.T11is was the day 011
which Fate, invited by Singleton was
10 preside at the inte1v 1ew which
should determine the future ielations of
Miss Berkley and hei egotistical
it came.
she was a little fatigued, and!
- thought she would—and did. But they
‘ hi2 4LJ’ODU
THE
. l
:31 fetch went shooting; 1:133 Berk-
:p.‘ 101. afned at home.
fingleton in the fields, confess sol that
had neve1 bef01e had such execiable
1'. :1: with hisg‘tn. Miss Berkley in the
$51-11" . acknov. ledged'that never before
1...l 11.0 hours seemed so ta1dy and so
unnromising of bette1 things. Was
Singleton coming, or wasn’t he? Well
he knew what he1 answei would be. so
there was 1eally no necessity-for his ap-
peaiing. Still, she believed in a man
adhe1ing to his word, no matter what
the consequences. These we1e her 16-
flections in the morning. In the after-
noon she wondered just how much Sin-
gleton cared for that Colchester woman.
Perhaps he was calling on her then.
What was there in Mr. Singleton that
pleased Mrs. Colchester? She wonder-
ed how he would look and feel after it
was all over. About 3 o’clock she be-
gan to feel unwell—a sort of nervous at-
tack, she thought. That was the rea—
son she had occasional crying spells.
The persistency of these attacks made
he1 iriitable. That was the reason she
scolded the maid who announced Captain
George Plympton. She was not "at
home" to Captain Ge01ge to- day. At
5 o’clock the maid tremblin gly an-
nounced that MI. Singleton had called.
Should she tell him that Miss Berkley
was not at home? N 0, she should not.
So Singleton came in, and had the bad
form to lay his hat, stick and gloves on
the di'awing room table.
“Three months ago, alter having
known you only three weeks, I asked
you to be my wife; you refused me;
we have now known each _ other for
nearly four months, and have had ample
time to consider what we then said. I
have reflected seriously 011 what I am
about to say, and having during the last
three months learned to regard you
more earnestly and devotedly than be-
fore, I will now take the liberty of re-
peating my proposal. Will you be my
wife?”
Miss Berkley rose and with averted
face made he1“ way slowly toward the
window. Singleton rose also, but did
not follow her. Thus for several mo-
ments they stood in silence. Why did
not thelady answer him? Surely the
egotist was at her mercy now. One
little word—the simplest in the lan-
guage—would humble all his conceit
and satisfy her curiosity. She had but
to speak that word and turn her head
to see how Arthur Singleton acted
in the presence of defeat. Why did she
not- say it?
The little onyx
ticked joyously
sixty we1e told.
other sixty.
"You do not answer me,” said Sin-
gleton quietly.
AAh, but she did! 'A moment laterhe
had his answei. It came gently—it
was sca1cely more than a whisper—but
' '.No”
His face was pale, his lips were com-
pressed, and there was an expression of
overwhelming disappointment in his
eyes. She knew it all. Singleton ad—
vanced and extended his hand. How
it came to pass that her hand found a
place in his she never knew. But she
clock on the mantel
Then it staited on an-
will never forget that smile which she '
then saw on Singleton’s lips.
not a cheerful one.
“I have lost,”
“Goodby. ' ”
It was
faltered Singleton.
'Goodbyl’.’ exclaimed Miss Berkley,-
softly, in a tone of surprise.
“Yes, goodby,” he returned. ~“Three
months ago you said that a rejected
lover would find it difficult to maintain
the position of a disinterested friend
with respect to the woman he loves. I
did not believe you then, but in the
course of three mouths a man may
learn many bitter truths. I now admit
that you were right.” .
' Miss Berkley smiled. Singleton
thought it was a smile of triumph, and
released her hand.
“Come and see me to-morrow after-
noon,” said Miss' Berkley gently, as Sin-
gleton turned away.
"I start for Paris in the morning,”
replied Singleton a trifle coldly.
Singleton 'turned toward the table,
and appropriating 'his hat, gloves and
walking-stick, started for the door. But
Miss Berkley was at the door, and,
what is more, she had her back against
it—thus cutting off his retreat.
“I’ll not let you go until you promise
to call on me to-morrow,” pouted the
lady. .
“I have said that I leave for Paris in
the morning.”
A dark flush mantled Singleton's
brow, and there was an ominous gleam
in his eyes.
‘ I beg of you to let me pass, Miss
Berkley," he said with frigid politeness. ,
“Dont be angry with me, Mr. Sin-
gleton.”
That Singleton was angry .it would
have been vain to deny. He felt that,
being beaten, he should at least have
been permitted ‘to depart with the
honors of war. He laid his hand on the
knob of the 11061, and a moment later
felt Miss Beikley's hand fall gently
upon it.
“You need not send me those bon-
bons, Mr. Singleton," faltered the lady,
as her eyes sought the well-handled but
insensible knob. “If you leave me your
address I’ll— I’ll send you the bookmark
by post.” she said a little feebly. Then
withdrawing her hand from the door
knob she continued.
if you want to, M1. Singleton.’
Hav 111g thus spoken, Miss Beikley
abandone: l he1 position at the d001, and
made her way dejectedly toward the
Window. Singleton f01 a few moments
looked as if he had taken leave of his '
’BOth Pacers Sent to one Address
senses.
" 'Do you mean—” he exclaimed.
“I mean that Iehaven’t much confi-
dence in your ability to select bonbons;
still it would have? been graceful in you
to have let me win them—would it
not?” and she turned toward him
saucily.
Singleton, dropping his hat, stick and
(gloves, rushed across the fl001, and
.. 311111" tge lady 1n his arms, he—well, ‘
er, and she let him.—Black
1-;Ap\.h v I l.-.-4U. /
“You may go now,
WEEKLY, N. Y. Tllllllllllll.
i'.‘
To Subscribe for the
J
IS OVER-
he TIM
‘ —
'1
MT
AND
3“” $100 a, Year.
b
A GENUINE “HIS WHISKERS.”
An Ohio Shoemaker Whose Bea-rd is
, Fifty-five Inches Long.
D. K.
maker of Ashland, 0.. who ckes out
his living by serving as sexton of'a
local Presbyterian Church. W’orking as
he does early and late, seven days :1
week, it may be inferred that he is
snort in funds, but then he is long in
hair. MruBuchter has a beard that
trails from his chin a length of four,
feet and seven inches—fifty—five inches
in all. This barely escaped the atten-
tion of the cartoonists during the re-
3ent campaign. They would have
made a great deal of a man with a
beard four times as long :15; l'l1-1l' of
Senator Pet'fer’s, who, despite all his
hirsute advantages. has resolutely re-
fused to become a Populist, but rc-
mnins a staunch Republican. ‘
BETCHTER.
D. K.
Mr. B11cl1tcr's remarkable whiskers
are jet black. but they are not :1L all
lhick. Scissors have not touched 1110111
in many years. The cobbler derives
much recreation in combing the glossy
locks. He has received numerous of—
fers from dime museum managers to
sit on platforms'and exhibit the phe-
nomenal chin growth. A week rarely
passes that Ashland is not visited by
the representative of some hair rc-
slorer, rcgcncrator or vitalizer. willing
lo pay handsomely for the Buchter
signature to a certificate of the won-
:lcrous powers of the nostrum. To mu-
' seum managers 01' nostrum vendors he
replies: “I am neither a freak nor :1
liar.” In fact, Mr. Buchtcr indulges his
vanity or love for whiskers in secret
to a certain extent, for he does not
show their full length to the public;
nor does he give the winds on oppor—
tunity to play through his rather ex-
tended lilacs'On the contrary he close
ly plnits the lower forty inches, of the
hirsute wonder, and stews the resul-
tant queue beneath his waistcoat, and
:0 :1 passer-by only presents the not
unusual appearance of a man whose
shirt front is hidden by a luxuriant
out ‘ not extraordinary crop .of
whiskers. .This is an arrange-
ment that is quite comfortable in the
winter, but a little unpleasant during
the dog days.
Mr. Buchter uses no oil or invigor-
1nts of any nature. \thn he washes
ihis interesting bunch of spinach he
uses soft rain water and castile soap.
out he believes in frequent combing
and brushing to _keep it in fine condi-
tion. It has not grown any within ten
rears. The hair of his head is quite
vigorous, and would probably grow to
extreme length did Mr. Buchter not
prefer to keep it cut to :1 conventional
fength. Notwithstanding this wonder-
ful vitality of the hair. this Ohio Esau
has never been troubled with neural-
gia or headache leading to insomnia
1nd nervous troubles. the usual Den-
ilty that nature exacts for a lavish
:1'owth of what on :1 woman is called
the crown of glory. On the contrary,
no is in good health, and a man of in-
telligence, who has no other fad than
:he cultivation of a fifty-five—inch
board.
A Gold Ca’nnon.
A cannon made of solid gold. mount-
ed upon a carriage of rosewood, inlaid
with costly gems, is tln- unique bauble
of warfare that has came into the pos-
session of the Imperial army of Berlin.
As a valuable acquisition to 1110 arma-
ment of the Kaiser’s own soldiery this
unique field pieceis more interesting
than terrible. No other army in the
world can boast of :1 field cannon so
beautiful and so costly. This singular
gun was presented to the Berlin army
by the managers of the Hamburg
Museum, in whose keeping it has been
for two centuries. Guns of this sort
are not produced today. and war is
made with cannon that is more effec-
tive in its destructive powers than
pleasing to the aesthetic taste- The
)utwnrd appearance of this monster
iewel is most delicate in workmanship.
[t is valued at $211000. though, {IS'fl
matter of fact, it could not be pur-
Z'hased for twice that amount of
rnoney. The liveliest interest in this
marvellous military engine has been
evinced by Emperor William, and he
has ordereda special guard to be
placed over the precious cannon,
*Which, for two days in the week, is on
View to curious Berliners '211111 the
strangers within the German 1.1pitn1‘s
gates—London Spectator.
Domestic Economy.
Cook: “Wasteful, mum? “Veil mum,
that’s one thing I’m notl. \Vhy, every-
think in the, eatin’ and drinkin’ way
that comes down from hupstairs I
‘ make a point of finishin’ up. myself,
_11111111!”-‘—Pu11ch. ’ _ .
a
Buchter is an humble shoe-
O"E’S LONG' “HEL LO. ”
A Pair of Lovers Who Use the Long Dis-
tance ’Phone.
ltis pleasing to know that modern
science hasbeen made a hand maiden
of the affections. Many illustr 1tions of
this fact might be given, but none more
original and delightful than that which
the Sunday Journal blings to the atten-
tion of its readers.
Tv o lovers, one of them living in the
city of New York and the other in Syra-
cuse, arcin the habit of holding daily,
ainmst hourly, conversations withdne
another over a long distance telephone.
Of course it is amatter of great expense,
”out that is a trifle not to be considered
in comparison with the joy that is
brought to two fond hearts.
Miss lda Strauss is -tli‘e fair person
n vho thus honors the telephone in New
York. She lives in West Seventy-first
street. The happy. swain is a Mr. Mar-
shall. who lives and does business in
Syracuse, in the State of New, York.
Both are 'rich, but Mr. MarshalBs
business keeps him in Syracuse, and it is
essential to their future happiness that
it should not be neglected. Money is
hardly a matter of consideration to
either of these two fortunate persons.
but business is business. Therefore
they have resorted to an unlimited use
of the long distance telephone.
Miss Strauss has the telephone in-
stalled in her charming boudoir. A vase
of fresh cut, beautiful flowers always
stands on the top of the instrument.
Near it is a photograph of Mr. Marshall,
who is absent in the flesh, but ever pres-
ent in the voice. On the wall is alarge
picture of him.
The room is filled with such articles
as a woman of wealth and cultivation
might be expected to possess.
Strauss is-thoroughly well ~read and a
great traveler. Books in many lan-
guages are to be seen on their shelves,
and souvenirs of visits to almost every
European counti y from E _.,py pt to En-
gland.
Miss Stiauss is one of- the chief organ
izers of a system of clubs for working
girls, known as Pansy clubs. She spends
much time and money in these places,
lecturing on foreign t1 avels and on liter-
ature to the girls and reading extiacts
from populai works to them.
The generous hospitality of her family
is famous. Recently they paid a visit
to their :native village in Alsace and
gave a magnificent banquet to which
every inhabitant from the oldest to the
youngest was invited.
Mr. Marshé‘l, the lover, whose exi-
gent business keeps him nailed down in
Syiacuse, is a b11111ant young man, and
will, it is probable, become one of our
great millionaires. The. table of the
long distance telephone is next to his
desk, and he is ever ready to reply to
its tender summons.
Gen. Gran t’s Commissary-Genera;
Congressman Lacy of Iowa tells an
"interesting army story of Gen. Morgan,
.Commissary General of the United '
States Army, recently related to his
former comrades in arms.
Gen. Morgan was Grant’s commissary,
and after the surrender at Appomattox
successfully fed Lee’s entire army of
25,000 men in addition to Grant’s
troops. During one of Grant’s cam-
paigns .the Confederates by a. flank
movement rounded up 26,000 steers be-
longing to his commiSsary department,
and as soon as the damage became
known in Washington a despatch ar-
rived in Grant’s headquarters from See-
retary Stanton demanding to know in
categorical language who was responsi-
ble for the loss.
“I am,” promptly telegraphed Grant
in reply, and there the matter ended.
But ~Gen. Morgan states that while
Grant thus stood between him and the
irate Secretary of War, he had a pecu-
liar way of showing his resentment to
him. On several occasions when there
were visitors in camp, Grant would ex-
claim:
“I have. the greatest Commissary-
Geueral in the world—not only of mod-
ern times but ancient timesas well——
Col. M organ here,” and he wouldxpoint
him out with an appearance of honest
pride.
“How is that, General?” the visitor
would ask.
“How is that?” Grant would say;
“why, he feeds our army and the en-
emy’s too.”-——Washington Post.
Misunderstood.
“Would you like to take a. chance?”
asked the timid, rosy-checked maiden
of the stranger at the church fair.
“Would I?” exclaimed the stranger
radiantly. “Well, Ishould say I would.
but—_” his voice fell to a whisper and
the eager light in his eyes died to a. far-
away, sad expression, "I am already
married. ”- -Washing tonEveningTimes. '
Gifts to Chicago After the Fire.
The cash contributions for the benefit
of the sufferers of the Chicago fire in
1871 amounted, within a month after
the disaster, to $4,200,000, and the con-
tributions in the way of supplies, food,v
clothing and other necessaries to per-'
haps as much more. ‘
A SHAKY COUNTRY.
New Boarder—Why is 11, farmer,
that your chickens haven’tfeathers?
Did the girls 1n the ne: orhborhood pluck,
‘them for feather boas?
' Farmer—Yo,iudeed. They hadchills
. yer ‘las’ summer an’ shook ’em all off.
1’:'"§.:":"L
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“vet-'1 -1 "’ _.._ .‘IGW'
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-Miss _
Norwalk Chronicler