-\_.V—-‘.
THE 1535(7. ON THE JOKER.
How Harmann “'as Taken in by the
Presentation ofa Ring.
At the (iiisey House, New York,
llerrmann was always a welcome vis-
tor and 11111-11131'11111111 to astonish and
am use the employes and guests when-
ever oppdrtuni 113 offered.
Herrniann was invited to perform
for the benefit of an uptown club at
the Stainlard Theatre. IIis perform-
ance made the hit of the evening. Af-
terthe (31111 itaimnent the more promi-
nent o1'1he (lubmen invited t 110 magi-
r'ian to a little supper at the Gilscy
House and at the same time informed
him that he 11 ould be presented with
21' ring-
Herrmttzm felt sure he would be the
owner of another diamond before he
went home that night. Toward the
end of the supper one of the members
made a little speech, thanking the
guest of the evening for his valuable
services, etc., at the benefit and hoped
he would accept the ring which would
be presented as soon as the speech was
finished. The applause which followed
.this speech was the signal for I-Icrr-
mann‘s own colored boy to enter the
room carrying a big brass gong. Herr-
mann at the time said he was more
taken in by that joke than he ever had
been before. ’
CURIOUS WAYS OF OWLS.
Some See by Day as “'ell as Night: and
Others Hunt; Field hIice.
There are two good reasons why the
every-day hunter seldom sees an owl
while he t1'a1nps.,One reason is that
some owls cannot see by day, and
therefore select hiding places
which render their discovery
next to impossible as a per-
son passes casually through the woods.
The other 1'3ason is that there are
some owls that see by day as well as
by night. These double-sighted birds
discover the intruder long before he
can possibly see them, and they lose
no time in seeking places of greater
safety. There areowls whose eye-
sight does not depend on darkness to
be of use. The screech owl and the
long-cared owl are among the mem-
bers of the family that are blinded, or
partially blinded by the light of dav.
Others, among them the hoot owl, the
snow 0111, the hawk owl, and the short-
cared owl, are sharp sighted, both by
day and by night. The Short—cared 0111'
is a great field—mouse hunter in wheat
or rye stubble. He is among the first
of the family of winter owls that come
down from the north to forage in this
latitude—New York Sun.
[A SOVEREIGN’S COSTUME.
Hardly Capable oi 211-111;; Packed in 11. Tel—
'e.~cope or Strainer Trunk.
The German Emperor has twelve val-
'1ts charged with keeping the imperial
1'1'aidrobe, valued at £100,000.11very
uniform beais precious dcco1ations.
The uniforms of all" the regiments of
the German army, with their helmets,
caps. shakes. rifles, swords and sabres,
are. shut up in immense cupboards. The
uniforms of the Imperial German navy
are arranged in the same way. Next
to these come the uniforms of the Sax-
ons. Bavarians. Hessians and others.
Sepa 'ated in other large cupboards are
the Austrian, Russian, Swedish, Eng
lish and Italian uniforms, all ready to
accompany the Kaiser in his journeys
or to be used on the occasion of princely
visits. Finally must be mentioned his
hunting and shooting costumes, his
court dresses, his yachting and lawn
tennis . uniforms and' his private
dresses. When the Emperor travels,
his uniforms and costumes fill two 01'
three 'arr'iages.
His Majesty is very fond of jewelry
and curios. He wears half a dozen
11 ng's. a hrgn 'e watch and chain, and a
bracelet 011 his right arm.—Globe.
His Gentle Voice.
0111' neighbor went by the name of
'Wlaispei 'ing Dick,” which was given
to him in ridicule. People said he
talked as if he were brought up in a
mill- One cold morning he walked into
{L'puhlie house, and called out in his
thundering voice:
"Good-.morning. landlord! How are
you?" ,
"Yery..well. How are you?"
"011,11. am-about frozen; I can hard-
13' talk.”
Just then a nervous traveller who
vas-present ran up to the landlord, ex-
claiming:
"Please have my horse brought as
soon as possible!”
"Why. what is the matter?" asked
the landlord.
"Nothing. I only want to get away
before that man thaws!"-—Answers.
A \Voman Trapper.
'i'here is a young woman living in
1\'1-.'1v'York who is popular 'wheiever
she goes, but more especially in the
.‘-.di1'on(_la(,-ks. where she spends her
>11111111131's and autumns. She is a good
shot with a rifle, and has killed a num-
ber of deer. but hunting is not her fa-
verite amusement, for she prefers to
traphcr game.
There are not many women 11".:
know how to set a trap, but this one
can give almost any man points on the
subject. She wears a black fur cape,
trimmed with reddish fur. It is very
swell. and as the fur is fine and rich
it makes a very handsome garment.
The cape is of otter skin, the trimming
of fox. The for was \all captured in
traps set by the wearer, and, what is
1,110'1e the beasts were sk inircd and the
skins stretched and then tanned with
herownt ands—\c cw Y0'1" Sun.
Incorriglble'.
“What did you and Smith ails
:1 bout?" -
"Aboutfif'te1-zn mi:1:’1cs.
“I 111111111131' 1at dil 311:: t.:..: :1'1'.;':"
“The t3.i:3phb13.e.'
GERMANY’S DOGS OF WAR,
5.. Scruard’s Trained to Pick Out, “'ound-
1 1! Officers and hIen on a Battlefield.
Germany, according to the American
Field has been training (logs to assist
the ambulance corps in time of war,
and the result has been highly satis-
factory to the men interested. The St.
2131211111113 virtue of its grc cat size and
supeiior intelligence and gentleness,
has come to be regarded as the modern
1:111 dog. Though the blood hound is
good. it is less trustworthy and not so
gentle as the St. Bernard.
The training a-war dog receives is
thorough and comprehensive. It is
taught that the oflicer is to be sought
out first by the Simple process of sew-
ing anise seeds into every oliiccr's coat.
The dog is supposed to travel over the
dead and wounded on a field of bat-
ti- and seek out the fallen officer, and
picking up a glove, cap, or other part
of his dress, hurry with it to the am-
bulance surgeon, and then lead the sur-
geon to the man. Not only that, but
the living are distinguished from the
dead by the dogs, so that no time may
be lost. Certain dogs are used to dis-
'cover the ofiicers. while othersarc used
for all alike. The dogs are further
taught to distinguish the enemy from
friends
The dog s bear the 111:11ches'better
than the men. They serve admirably
as sentries. They carry burdens large
in proportion to their size. They may
he hitched to a wagon and driven like
horses. In proportion to its value, the
dog eats very little.
SUITED TO HIS MOOD.
lie Didn't; “‘iSh to be Bothered Even if
He \Vas' Sco (led.
The eccentricities of great men are
not to be tritied with, especially when
the great men are in bad humor. A
new story of General Jackson relates
that, while 011 one of his journeys to
Tennessee about the time of the nulli-
iication excitement, he arrived at a
Virginia village at a very impatient
state of mind, both with public affairs
2111 with the. state of the re ads.
l‘hc president was enteitaincd as a
guest at the house of a lady in the vil-
lage. and although he tried to he po-
lite, the state of vexation which he
was in affected him visibly.
llis hostess, at the support table, wa
1:11:1-h'dar1ncd to see the general s1' .11-
lowing w ith garc .t rapidity a cup of al-
in: st boiling hot tea.
, "Wait. wait. general!" exclaimed the-
lady, “Let me give you some ”cold
water."
"No. I thank you. ma‘am."
general, continuing to drink.
"But I don’t see 110w you can drink
tliat'boiling hot tea without scalding
yourself."
"No wonder you can‘t. ma’am, " said.
Jackson; "I: 3.111 scal lillf" myself.‘
' Eut, sir, why do you-—"
“Good gracious, ma'am!” exclaimed
the general; “don‘t you see that I want
to scald myself?"
The lady refrained from making any
further suggestions as to her distin-
guished guest's comfort.
said the-
A Dog Sanitarium.
'1 here nas been opened in “fishing-
ton a select boarding house and hos-
pital for pet dogs. and although thc'
season is just beginning. it has proven
quite suc'cessful. The experiment was
an idea of3a professor of canine medi-
cine in the veterinary department of
the Columbian University, who has
long since had a large practice as a
dog doctor. The place 110 has opened
here is espeeially adapted as a sanitar-
ium, and is arranged in yards, where
the patients and boarders are kept.
One of these is fitted up as an operat-
ing room and is model after the
most unmoved rooms in regular hos--
pitals. Attached to the inflrmcry is a.
large bath room, where the dogs can
be shampooed and take shoWer baths,
and the doctor is now preparing plans
for the construction of a Turkish bath
for the use of his boarders who re-
quire this luxury. Every kind of dis-
ease or ailment is treated, and dogs
whose owners have gone out of town
f0' :1. season are. boarded at the sani<
till'idlll until their return—Mail and
":q- ress.
Rare Liberality.
A story is told in Piscataquis County
of an amusing case of liberality. Soon
after the happening of a great sensa—
tion by which many people lost their
little all. the word wentround the
county 111; .t a citizen who usually
clings close to his shekels had sug-
gested :1 public subscription to make
up the poor Iictiple's losses, and had
promised to szz'hssribe largely himself.
The population was amazed at the re-
port. and inquiry was begun to learn
its truth. "Did you offer to give $25,-
000 to pay these losses?" the citizen
was asked. “Well, no,” he said, "I
didn‘t: put my offer in just that way.
\Vhal I did say was that I would wil-
1in,::l,v :1'i1e $25 000 if the thing had
119131 happened.” Then the people
laugimli.—~LO\VlSt0n Journal.
Rough on the Buy.
"My boy insists that I 1113.111, :11. him
some sort of a toy gun," said the man
with thr- short chin, “and I suppose I
will have to do it."
"iiere is the very thing you want,”
'aid the dealer. “It is perfectly safe;
won‘t even harm a cat.”
"I guess I will take it. it is a pretty
mean trick to play on my boy. but I
guess it will be for the best. “—Cincin-
nati Enquner.
The Last of a Cruel l‘unishm ~11t.
The last in st 11310 of boiling to death
took place in Persia in 1890. The, of-
fender was guilty of stealing Static
revenues, and was put into a caldron
of cold water. which was slowly
heated to the boiling point. His bones
were distributed as a warning among.
lu- p1o1' 11-93111 tax- collectors. , ""
>
To Subscribe for the
a
1.
NEW YOR__I__{ LETTER.
A great many explanations or ex—
cuses have been given of Joseph
dinance compelling carriages ‘to car-
ry lights. There is one which it would
seem is a trifle sarcastic: The man who
had General Fitz John Porter restored
to the army, with all disabilities re-
noved; who reversed the decision of
the United States Supreme Court on
the Income Tax law; who. successful-
ly ca flied out his purpose in the fan's
ous Ccsnola case; who held up to the
world the "pants” of Uncle'Iluss. ll
Sage; a man whose retainers 1:1":
thousands and whose fees are tens : ."
thousands of dollars—can we expert
such a man to know that carriage
lamps must be lighted at sundown?
But Mr. Choate knows it now, and he
is not likely to forget it, for the good
reason that he is not addicted to for-
getting anything.
Mrs. Hetty- Green, who has had the
misfortune to have Mr. Choatc opposed
to her on important occasions and
hasnt forgiven him thus pays t'ibute
to the grc cat lawyer and orator:
“I see that they are booming J. II.
Choate for the Senate. \Yell. he'll get
- there. I am willing to make abeton that.
Mark my words, that instead of going
to the Senate, when the time comes
he will go to Europe. I grant you that
re can talk and that he is a man of
tact, but he is no orator, such as Cal-
houn, and as a lawyer he can never
be compared with Webster. No, nor
Rufus Choate, either. Just see what
J. Evarts Tracy and Joseph II. Choatc
have done with my money. I don’t be-
lieve that’s the sort of man the people
of this state want to handle their af-
fairs. For thirty years I have been
trying to get these reform lawyersto
give me justice, and I am as far off
now as ever. I have gone over the
books myself, and I am pretty fair of
accounts. I could make nothing of
them. I even got an expert from the
Clearing House and locked him up in
a room for two weeks. He failed, too,
and his failure drove him ill, because
he thought it was a reflection upon his
ability. I tell you if I could save
Choate’s soul I would earn my crown.”
This city is notably hospitable to visi-
tors of distinction and this hospitality
occasionally results in awkward situ-
ations for the objects of it. A short
time ago a well-known English artist
was here. He met everybody and final<
ly got completely bewildered. One day
a man called at his hotel. The artist
looked at the card, did not recognize
the name, but said to show the visi~
tor up. The latter came in briskly. The
Englishman looked, at him as much as
to say: “Well, what can I do for
you?” And at last he said: “Your
face is quite familiar to me, but I can’t
tell who you are for the life of me.”
“Why, there is my card,” said the visi-
tor. "That doesn’t help me,” was the
reply. “Why,” said the other, “you
are to play golf with me to day and
you dine at my house to— night. ”
Park attendants say that the ugly
and crooked little scrub oak that was
planted in the Central Park in 1860 by
the Prince of IVales is going to die.
Albert Edward is not a bad sort of
gentleman, but it. is a pity that he
can’t plant [a trustworthy tree. Pa-
triots hereabouts will say that no plant
touched by royal bands can ever flour-
ish in .the land of the free; and on the
other hand the Englishmen may say
that a British oak must naturally be
ashamed to grow to any size in repub-
lican soil. Perhaps the best thing the
Park authorities can do with it is to
cut it down, saw it into chunks, and
have them turned into fac-similes of
the shoes that the Prince wore when
he planted it. They might sell to an-
glomaniacs at a good price. 2
A gentleman who claims to know
the course of business in the Street
says that most of the speculating in
Wall street nowadays is done in bucket
shops. Some of the biggest men in the
Street are owners of bucket shops. The
policy of the Exchange is gradually
driving its business into bucket shops.
The Street is honey-combed with
bucket shops. The entire city, from
Harlem to the Battery, is packed with
bucket shops. If the Exchange does
not do better than it has done in the
past it: will have to become a. bucket
shop in order to do any business what-
‘ ever.
Thomas I‘. Bayard, J12, son of Am-
bassador-B ay ard, has been made an as-
sistant in Corporation Counsel Scott’s
office. He is 27 years old, a graduate
of Harvard and has spent most of his
life in Wilmington, Del. He is as-
signed to the Bureau of Street Open-
ing.
Richard Croker Warren, of Freeport,
L. I., a neph w of Tammany’ s Richard,
is being sué by his wife for abandon-
ment. He e10ped with the daughter of
Justice of the Peace Morrell of Man-
ha‘nsett last April. The, fact that the
young man’s mother—in-law believes in
faith cure, and he doesn’t is cited as
one cause of difficulty.
CYRUS T110111).
.- .. --._._—-._._..__
IN THE FUTURE.
Inihi 11;": " ',,;
M .
Y
_ 1.
1r kit}...
, {0 ,1
1931.
Professor Sproutini in his dari 111g act ,
of riding «bareback 011,11 hoiseless c: 1r
Hagar-Figaro,
H. Clioate’s ignorance‘f’ of the or-.
sidcred the most remarkable thing in
NOT INCLINED TO BE GULLIBLEo
Be Told All Abouta Wonderful Creek and
not. al’ointér ixi Return. ' , l
l'erhaps the most popular man con-
nected with the Yellowstone Pari:
Iran 1sp6rtation Company is Captain E
C. Culver of Gardner. ,
Some time ago the Captain had an '1
experience which' was too good‘to '
keep, and he gave 'it away to a: friend
in town. He was going, from the.
Springs to Cinnabar, and there were
three very bright young ladies on the
co oat-.11
Mr. Culver vas asked what be con-
the Park. He said that if beauty and
grandeur were to be left out of the
count, he thought the most “remark-
able thing” was Alum Creek, a little
str am putting into the river between
the falls and the lake. Originally, he
said, the distance between the hotels
at the lake and the falls Was twenty-I
six miles, but when they commenced to
sprinkle the road between the two
places with water taken from Alum
Creek some years ago, they soon
found the distance between the hotels
shortened by about eight miles. As
the hotels were then only about
eighteen miles apart and the road still
shrinking, the superintendent ordered
them to use no more water from Alum
Creek. And then the Captain told
another little legend about the creek
that was quite well authenticated.
Last year, he said, a party
went through the Park on a tour,
and a young lady with them
came into the Park wearing ‘No. 8
shoes. After camping on Alum Creek
two days and bathing her feet she
went home wearing a pair of No. 2
gaiters. "'
At this point one girl with an incred-
ulous smile .aid to him:
“Don‘t you think it would be a.
good plan to bathe your head in that
creek :1 time or two?"——Livingston
I’ost.
WITH THE WITS.
_L___
“New don t borrow trouble, Molly.”
“No need to. You keep me well sup-
plied, Silas.”
Mrs. Mulligan: “I’d rather hev the
hull family ill than 3'.ou ”
M1. Mulligan: So would I.”
Said an Irishman the other day to a
friend: "Arrah, where will you find a
modern building that has lasted as
long as the old wans?” "
“I hear that drinking is one of your
husband’s failings?” “'
“Failings. 011, ,110—it is one of his
most notable successes!”—Fun.
‘ ____.___
P0intcd,_——“I notice, Miss Gregory,
that my very critical friend Hoskins
never sits on any of your remarks.
How is that?” ‘Because I make them
too pointed for him.”
At Schema—“Tommy Rogers, when
was Rome built?” “At night, sir.” “At
night! Surely you must see that you
are making a, huge mistake.” “Well,
sir, you said yesterday that Rome
wasn’t built in a day.”
“Uncle Simon, what is old-fashioned
politeness. '9”
“It is a way people used to have of
asking a man about his health and
then listening until he got throughre-
plyi ng. ——Cl1icago Record.
Teacher: “Who helped you with this
essay, James?” '
Pupil: “Nobody, sir.”
Teacher: “Now tell me the truth.
Did not your brother?”
Pupil: "No, "sir; he did it all himself."
A.: “How did your daughter pass her
examination for a position as teacher?”
13.: “Pass! She didn’t pass at all.
Maybe you won’t believe it, but they
asked that poor girl about things that
happened before she was born!” 5
“How fast the train is going?” ex‘
claimed M1”. Trotter. ‘
“Yes,” assented her husband; “there
is probably a- letter in the mail-car.
with ‘In haste’ written on the north-
east corner of the envelope.”
“Well, Patsy, you’re back from the.
fair early. I hope you made a good
bargain}? '
“Deed an’ I did, your honor. Sure
the ould woman giv me a Sixpence to
buy an almanac. and I' ve brought her
back tw o of lasht year fori
“Mussy me, what barbarous things
the brokers is!" quoth Mrs. Spriggins.
"What’s the matter now?”
“It says here that they was pluckin’
the lambs for all theywas ‘worth yes-
terday. Lord knows. it’s, bad enough
to shear the poor things!”
“I’vea good notion ‘to go and jump
into the, river,”.said Mr. N. Peck. at
the end of a little domestic discussion,
ashe picked 11p his hat and started
o.ut
“You come back here,” said his wife.
“If you intend any such tricks as that,
just march up stairs "and put on your
old clothes before you start.”
The Holy Terror say, Mr. Choker,
won’t you give me one of your pieces?
The New Minister—“Thy, my boy.
what do you mean? ,
The Holy Terror— Well,"pop,said
that when you preached your first ser
mon last Sunday, you went all t
pieces, and I thought maybe you’d le
me have one of them.)
Mrs. A.: “My dear, one servant i.
notlenough in the kitchen now. W,
must have two.”,,' Mr. A: “Why, W
have three daughters, and only yes
terday I paid a big bill for their tui
tion in a cookery-schooll”. Mrs-A1
“Yes—that’s what’s the matter. The
are eall‘ assisting at the cooking, ant
Bridget says she must hav -e additiona
help to‘ clean up.”
Norwalk Chronicler