, I .‘-.,
CALMNESS WAS A FAILURE.
It “'ns "er Well in Theory, but it Did
Not 1{fork in Practice.
‘ell me about that I-Iindoo
'5 ever
[11 eacher again, ’ she said impatiently. ,
“and dont ”you dare to s’a3 a weld in '
fawn”
‘ “I haven‘t.“ responded the girl inithc
bolero, meekiy, “and I’m not going to.
But what has he done to 31011.”.
“Everything. Everything which a
man can do. He‘s upset all my plans
and made me miserable for life."
“You remember that lecture on calm-
ness? It sounded lovely, but it was
all ,bosh. I thought I’d try 110w the
theory worked out, I was so-tired of
* hurrying anyway. I‘ve tried faithful—
1y for a week or more, and everything
unpleasant which could possibly hap-
pen has come to pass in that time.
‘ It began just the minute I got home
flom the lectu1e. Papa was in a hurry
to get to bed that night, and the boys
were just nervous with weariness. I
can see that now. but at the time I
couldn’t see anything but my resolve
to be cahn. So I wouldn’t hurry a bit
and we lost the train. They’ve been
cross ever since, and I’ve been miser-
able.
“It was the same thing next morn-
ing;. mannna wanted me to go down
town- with her, and I wouldn't, because
I know 110w she hurries, and I just
knew' I shouldn't be calm one minute
afterwe started. So she felt bad and
our family life has been perfectly hor-
rid for a week.
“Then last night even Charlie went
back on me. \I'e were going to the
theatre. and he was waiting down in
the-parlor. He sent word 11p by one of
the boys for me to l1u1'ry,.but I wasn't
going to break my calm after all that
horrid week of trying to keep it. So
I. dressed just as slowly as I could.
and when he remonstrated with me on
my way to the car I told him that he
was hindering my spiritual progress.
And what do you think he said? Why,
‘Darn your spiritual progress. Why
can’t you be nice as you used to be?’
“Of course I wouldn’t speak to him
all evening unless he apologized, and
when he apologized ”he was so un-
pleasant about it that he only made
me madder. So we had a miserable
evening. I wouldn’t have gone down
town with him at all, only I didn‘t
want the folks to know we’d quar-
reled. And he bade me the barest
good night you ever saw when we got
home again I cried most all night. '
"This morning I lode down in the
same car with him, and I smiled just
.as sweetly as I could, but he never
came near me. When we got off at
Dearborn street I hurried just a little
bit and got next to him, and I said,
‘Why don't you sp ak to me, Charlie?’
and he said, ‘Because I don’t want to
hinder your spiritual progress.’
“Well. that made me madder than
ever, and I told him he need never
speak to me again, or come to see me,
and just. now. as I came over from the
office, I saw him walking into the
Saratoga with Maud Strong. And all
just because I followed that blessed
Hindoo's instructions and ‘kept calm at
all hazzards.’ Charlie will never get
over it. I know. and we would have
been so happy together, and I wish I
was dead. I certainly do.” .And she
flopped disconsolately down on the
sofa and hid her face in the pillow
again—Chicago Times-Herald.
MUSIC 'w11.1_ MAKE THEM WORK.
A DIan Must “’histle Lively Tunes to 0b-
tain Work lWith One Employer.
The. cheerzrg effect of brisk music
is well known in the military service,
Where the fife and drum, playing live-
ly airs, have often kept men on the
march after they had grown'too much
exhausted to go on without it. Acting
upon the same idea a large employer
of labor inone of our great cities has
lately engaged a band of musicians to
play almost constantly in his establish-
ment, and keeps them performing
nothing but li3 ely music.
In thes same way a builder had one
question 33 h1ch he always asked of
journeymen who applied to be taken
into his employ. If the applicant were
found to possess all the other neces;
sary qualifications, the “boss” would
ask him :—
"What are your favorite tubes?"
“Why, what do want to know that
for?”
“You whistle and sing some at your
work, don‘t you?”
“Oh. yes.”
“Well, what tunes do you generally
whistle or sing?”
"Oh, there’s
‘Auld Lang Syne.’
\\ e‘eping \VillOWs, ’and—”
"l hat s enoug h!” the boss would ex-
f claim. “You w’ont do f01 me. Too
slow, them tunes be. Good-day.”
On the contrary, if the applicant an«
. swered, “Oh, I generally whistle ‘l’an-
kee Doodle.’ or ‘The British Grenad-
iers,’ or something of that sort,” the
Builder would say at once:—
“I think you’ll do! Take off your
coat if you want to, and go to work."
-—Tid-Bits. .
ITad Time for Pat.
There was once an Irishman who had
a face on him that, as one of his
friendsgonce remarked, was “an oflince
to the andscape.” Next to his homeli-
ness his poverty was the most conspic-
uous thing about him. Hence the un-
sympathetic comment of a neighbor,
“How are ye, Pat?” he asked. “Mighty
bad!” was-the reply. “Sure ’tis starva-
tion that’s starin’ me in the face!” “Is
that so?” rejoined his friend, adding,
“Sure it can’t be viry pleasant for
ayther of yez!”
Not Epidemic. ' .
Professor James, of Harvard, denies
that genius is a disease. l‘1obab13
those who hold otherwise would be
willing to admit that the disease is nor.
I yet epidemic—Chicago. Times EH cral
‘Old IIundred,‘ and
and ‘Down by the
'at the lowest possible price. An at-
. The wildcat measured over three feet,
T a 1: or In 1111: o 7' on n TVTE' ‘
A FARM FOR ,EX-CONVICTS.
A Salvation Army Scheme of Reform
“’hich Appears Practicable.
In the San Ranson Valley, California,
a Salvation Army farm for convicts
has been put into.operation. This in-
stitution is the only one of its kind in
existence. It opens up to the released
Convict a channel whereby, outside of.
city influences and surrounded by
every inducement to reform, he may
escape from‘the fate of a confirmed
jailbird and become an honest mem-
ber of the community.
By persistent labor ‘since the farm
was deeded to them by George S.
Montgomery, the Salvationists have
been able to gather together material
enough with which to stack it. Sev-
eral horses, a large quantity of seed
wheat and oats, wagons and a number
of, farming implements have all been
placed on the farm within the last few
weeks. and nothing remained to be
done but to dedicate the place and be-
gin the work of collecting the ex-con‘
victs to take charge of it.
It will be entirely self-supporting,
producing all it consumes. Each man‘s
account will be kept. He will be
credited with the value of his labor,
and his supplies will be given to him
tempt will be made to have nearly all.
the industries represented. The men
who have gone into prison and come
out without any skilled ability of any
kind'will receive a. training in some
tradeaaccording to their bent. They
will leave the home good blacksmiths,
orchardists, fruit growers, etc. The
Salvation Army proceeds on the prin-
ciple of helping those who help them-
selves, giving doles only in cases re-
quiring urgent temporary relief.
The life at the farm will be like that
of a family. The men will be sur-
rounded with the best influences.
There will be two officers of the army
in charge, one to attend to the material
wants of the members, the other to the
spiritual.
The Salvation Army does not drop ‘
its work in the middle. When the men
have thoroughly re-established their .
character, every effort will be made to
secure employment for them. The
army deputies are in every part of the
State, on the lookout for chances of
employment and they are in touch
with Labor Commissioner Fitzgerald
in the splendid work he is doing. When
a position is secured for one of these
men the employer is told the whole
story, but no one else, and the Salva-
tion Army holds itself responsible for
them. An effort is usually made to
place the men in.localities somewhat,
if not entirely, removed from the scene
of their disgrace—San Francisco
Chronicle. 9
TWO BOYS AND A w11.o CAT.
They Were Looking for ’Possum, but. Got
the Cat After a Hot Fight.
Two boys in Kentucky had a serious
time ’possum hunting recently near
Kenton Furnace. John and William
Anderson, 15 and 17 years old, went
out with their dog after oppossums.
They had been out only a short time
when the dogs treed what was sup-
posed to be an oppossum. By the dim
light of the lantern the boys could see
the animal in the tree, and William at
once proceeded to climb it to shake
the game down to the dogs. When he
came near the animal it made a sav-
age spring toward him and he lost his
hold and fell with the animal to the
ground. The animal proved to be a
large wildcat, and it quickly killed both
dogs and then jumped on William, who
was lying on the ground with a broken
arm and a wrenched leg. The young-
er of the boys drew his barlow knife,
his only weapon, and tackled the cat,
which left his brother and came at
him. After a hard fight the boy came
out victor, but he was badly scratched
and his clothes were almost entirely
gone. The boys got back to their home,
but both will be laid up for some time.
and is the first one seen in this county
for some time—:New York Sun.
-
How Hog Back Changed Its Name.
“Until a few years ago a little Wis-
consin hamlet was known simply as
‘Hog Back,’ from the peculiar shape
of a hill near there,” said a Milwau-
kee drummer. “Finally the citizens
held an indignation meeting to wipe
out the plebeian name and choose a
better one.
“It was decided to honor the place
by giving it the name of the oldest set-
tler, a man named King. Somebody
suggested ‘King’s Mills,’ and another
‘Kingsville,’ and so on, but the old
man himself objected. Then it was
agreed to name the town for one of
Mr. King’s daughters. But he had
seven of them, and jealousies prompt-
ly cropped out. At last some genius
noted that all the girlswere red-head-
ed, and suggested ‘Auburndale.’ And
Auburndale it is to this day ”—Chl-
cago Times- Her.ald
A Paducah Prisoner’s Chance of Fr eod om
There is a 111isoner in the Paducah
lockup whose gastronomic capacity is
somewhat wonderzful 1101 bred-:fast
he eats twenty—four biscuits, seven
huge pieces of beef, four pints of cof-
fee, and a pint of. molasses. For din-
ner he usually consumes a pan of corn-
bread, three pans of beans, and any-
thing else he finds handy. This leads
the Paducah Sun to remark that some
day he will eat the ball and chain he
wears and go free.—Louisville Courier
Journal.
<—
A Cure for Dipsomaniacs.
Dipsomaniacs in Sweden, when put
under restraint are fed almost entire-
ly 011 bread steeped in wine. In less
than a fortnight they‘loathe the very
look and smell of liquor, and when lib:
erated generally become total abstain,
ers. In Russia a similar treatment is,
followed with good results.
NOW is
IS OVER-
’3 IIIVI
To Subscribefifor the
1A II
AND
11111111111111.111111111.
L.‘
Both Pacers Sent toone-AddreSS
for $1.00.. Yeflarl'
_’ —oh,
' equivalent to a hot meal.
, tween the teeth;
. one ounce of your ration meat.
, tist church the Rev.
.._._-...__ ~ .0“.-.— ...... ......-....—....
LEARNED To LIKE souplo, '
A Determined Lieutenant-Colonel Who
Beaped His Reward.
Once when a lieutenant-colonel, in-
dignant at the wholesale waste of éx-,,
cellent soup bones, I ordered the mas.
ter cook to insure, under pain of my
displeasure, that large caldrons filled
with the otherwisehnutilized mater-
ials should be kept simmering for my
inspection three times a week. To this
he to add peameal, seasoning, etc..
at the cost of a—few pence, not charged
to the men; and as a guaranty of obe-
‘njla
- dience he was to habitually send into
my orderly room, just before the men’s
‘dinners, a specimen of his brew. Re-
spectful remonstranccs from cooks and
sergeants, to whom I blaudly replied:
"Yes, I understand your objections; but
—the soup shall be made.” I found it
so good—on a cold day, nearly
After a week’s trial spokesmen from
; the messes addressed to me further
. and urged complaints, always with the
utmost respect. “We don’t like this
I here soup, sir; nasty. thick, greasy;
poor stuff, with nothing to feel be-
we don't like to see
it on the table.” “But you do not pay
one farthing for it,” I pointed out to
the malcontents. “You need not con-
: sume this gratuitous food if you do not
like it, and you are not deprived of
My
instructions must be carried out, and
kettles of soup must be placed in the
rooms until further orders.” They re-
tired, silenced but unconvinced.
About three weeks later I ascertained
the further developments of my inno-
vation. For a few days the soup had
continued to be eyed with anger; and
untasted to be relegated to the gutter.
Then by degrees one or two of the men
thought they might as well swallow a
little of the savory food. Their exam-
ple was soon followed, and finally it
was generally hailed as a delicious ad-
dition to their meal.——Blackwoods
Magazine.
CLERICAL AMENITIES.
A Little Episode in the Lives of Two Old-
Tlme Virginia Preachers.
. The most noted expounders of the
Gospél in northern Virginia at one
time were the Revs. Itoszell of the
Methodist Church, and Gilmore of the
Baptist. They were rigid and unyield-
ing believers, each in the tenets and
doctrines of his own faith, and advo-
cates of the church militant.
Constant themes of difference be-
tween them, upon which anopportun-
ity to cross swords was never suffered
to pass unnoticed, were close commun-
ion on the one side and the insufficien-
cy of infant baptism on the
other. One communion day in the Bap-
Mr. Roszell made
it a point to be present, having no ser-
vice at his_own church on that day.
He had a seat on one of the front
benches. Mr. Gilmore spread the com-
munion table with great care just in
front of where the Methodist divine
was sitting, and when all was ready he
cleared his throat and with great sol-
emnity said in his powerful and im.
pressive voice:
“Brother Roszell, if this were my ta-
ble I should invite you to partake; but
being my Father’s, I dare not!” ,
Instead of sinking through the floor,
Mr. Roszell calmly replied:
“Brother Gilmore, if this were your
table I should await your invitation;
but being my Father’s I shall help my-
self!” and, suiting the. action to the
word, reached over and with great
seriousness and solemnity, took the
bread and wine without molestation,
to the intense amusement of the con-
gregation.
They were both great lights in their
churches, dearly beloved by their peo-
ple, and possessed of a vigorous Christ-
ian fervor that made itself felt and re-
Sulted in great good wherever their
ministrations were carried on.
Going Nature One Better.
One of the most important objects
pomologists are striving for is to pro-
duce thornless and seedless fruits, and
from the results already obtained it is
not unlikely that the end will soon be
realized.
Thorns are not in good standing
among fruit growers, because they are
constantly puncturing the best fruits,
0nd, what is equally important, the
skin of the pickers. The thorns and
prickles of plants and trees were un-
doubtedly intended by nature to pro-
tect them fromanimals, but that is no
reason why they should be continued
for generation after generation on the
cultivated varieties. The gardener has
. no need for them, and, for that matter,’
the trees and shrubs have none either.
Our domesticated pears and apples
were all derived from the thorny, wild
varieties, and pomologists have suc-
ceeded in ridding them of these spikes
and prickles by careful culture and se-
lection. Oranges and lemons have not
been cultivated in this country as suc-
cessfully as pliars and apples, and
many of them are very thorny. The
wild and sour orange trees of Florida ,
are bristling with thorns, as is. also
the high-priced king orange, one of
the best of the mandarins. The wild
lemon trees of Florida are so thorny
that growers question the advisability
of grafting the fine La France lemons
on them. \
In Florida, however, the thorns of
the orange and lemon trees have been
greatly reduced by selecting buds from
branches with the fewest thorns,“ and
by continuing this process y(:ll' after
year the sharp spikes disappear. In
Californianearly aILOf the orange trees
are thornless—not natu1ally,but as the
result of cultivation and selectioz.
New York Journal.
Every person under twenty-one years
of age, needs nine hours’ rest .out of
the twenty-four. So says Dr. Cold; an
eminent German physician—"it-Difs.
‘greensfl—Atlants: Con stltutien.
EUGENE FIELD’S DONKEY.
.—
' Don Caesar do Baum Was a Great Favor-
ite “’ith His Master.
The mest famous donkey that eVer
resided in the city of Chicago is Don
Caesar de Bazan of the tribe. of Jeru-
salem.
The little Quadruped soon learned to
love Mr. Field, and, in -'tu1n, shared
the great-hearted poet’s favors with
the other pets around the place.
Don was not allowed to enjoy him-
self all day, however, for no sooner
had Mr. Field‘s familiar figure disap-
peared in the direction of Clark street
than the boys began to prod sharp
sticks at him for the sheer pleasure of
seeing him squirm and kick.
Don was obliged to grin and bear all
these abuses until Mr. Field returned
at night. He did it with a very qual-
ified grace, but in absolute silence, for
he nevec brayed except in ,the pres-
ence of his master. Don had good
ears and a. keen perception, and as
soon as he heard the deep-toned voice.
so familiar to all Who knew Mr. Field
he would commence to urge his com-
plaints in the most vigorous, rasping
. br.ays
When Mr. Field moved to Buena
Park, Don became a t1ouble to his
master. Don would get into mischief
among the flower beds or stray into
some. neighbor’s lot. At last Mr. Field
was driven to despair as to how to dis-
pose of Don Caesar de Bazan to the
advantage of that estimable animal.
Just at this time Mr. George Yeno-
wine, a warm friend .of the family,
visited Chicago, and when he heard of
the donkey dilemma quickly bethought
himself of carting Don to the farm in
Kentucky.
So Don Caesar de Bazan, with his
bag and baggage, in the care of Mr.
Yenowine, departed for Kentucky.
Two years later Mr. Field visited
Yenowine Farm, immediately repaired
to the pasture and called upon Don.
The latter marched up to the fence.
flopped his ears back and forth in a
knowing fashion, looked at his late
master with a cunning leer, then
promptly and silently retired to the far
corner of the m adow. The next
morning, however, he marched delib-
erately to the house and began to
bray. '
It was ever after Mr. Field’s opin-
:on that animals think more than they
are given credit fen—Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
RACING COCKROACH ES.
An Amusement of Turkish Prisoners Dur-
ing Their Tedious Confinement.
Racing cockroaches is the latest de-
vice of the prisoners who are languish-
ing in Turkish prisons.
The prisons are overrun with cock-
roaches. The more intelligent of the
prisoners make friends with these in-
sects. - . .
Infinite patience is required to train
a cock1oach.
By enticing a number of cockroaches
into his cell every day, one of the pris-
oners discovered that they could easily
be taught, if they were propitiated
with molasses. Aftera few weeks’
work he astonished his friends in the
prison by bringing out for their edifi-
cation a corps of trained cockroaches.
The cockroach fever at once spread
through the prison. Every man who
could beg or borrow molasses began a.
company of cockroaches.
Two of the most highly trained cock-
roaches were pitted against each oth-
er, and the prisoners ranged them-
selves on either side of the corridor to
watch the race.
The owner of each insect prodded
him with a piece of straw... As the
cockroaches raced along the floor the
excitement among the prisoners and
jailers rose to fever heat. The insects
had been so well trained that they do
viated neither to the right nor left, but
kept straight ahead.
The one that was beaten lost the race
because he stopped to scratch his leg.
-—-New York Journal.
Zinc Wall Paper.
“Zinc wall paper" is the latest oddity
and several residences of the highest
class new building will be equipped
with it. The zinc is prepared by a new
process, so as to exactly resemble mar.
Die. The most beautiful varieties of
marble are imitated in such a manner
that the imposture is only to be de-
tected after a close examination.
The zinc is attached to the wall by a
cement invented for the purpose. The
surface of the zinc is enamelled so as
to render it permanent and washable.
Tiles or any other form of mural cov-
ering can be imitated as readily as
marble and the material is made in a
great variety of patterns.
It is claimed for this new departure ‘
in decorative material that while it is
as permanent as tiles or marble, it is
much cheaper, and can be as easily put
on as ordinary wall paper. It can be
applied, too, to any surface, whether
flat, broken or sound, and any bead-
ing, etc., can be embossed on the metal
to complete a design or panel —New
York Jou1nal.
A Parson’s Blessing.
In one of the rural districts a Geor~
gin. minister was invited to dine with a
citizen who, though wealthy, furnished
his table poorly. .1 When they were,
seated the host said:
“Times air mighty tight, parson, an‘
we ain’t got nothing much ter set be.
fore you, but, sich as it is, you air wel-
come. Will'you ask a blessin’ on what
you see?” ,
The parson, observing the scant re-
past, lifted up his voice and said.
“Lord, make us thankful for, what
we see, and may we be able to find-it
when we reach for it. Let it not es-
cape us and prove a snare and a delu-
sion. Amen. Thank you fat tbs”
Norwalk Chronicler