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for SLOO a Year
, bles, and it knocked him out.
VTHEEVENING
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”"1" OFFICE BOY LAWYERS. -.
I’dden Collapse of a. Grandlloquent Boast
“a. bynBudding Limb of the Law.
_ In one of the big down town ofiice
buildings, tenanted principally bylaw
yers. a Mail and Express reporter rode
down 1n an elevator car this morning
with two boys, who, to judge from
heir conversation, were budding limbs
of the law. One of them was about 15
years of age, and the other perhaps a
couple of years his senior.
“I had that judgment opened this
morning ” remarked the younger of the
two, flocking the ashes from a cigarette.
“but I thought Giegerich was a little
slow about it.”
“Yaas,” drawled the other, “it’s cer-
much time in court. Remember my
bond and mortgage case in the Sn-
preme? Well, it was enough to try any-
body’s patience. The trouble with some
of our judges, Frank, is that they don’t
know the rudiments of landlord and
tenant law. I cited Pebbles vs. Bub—
Where
are you bound?”
“Oh, I’ve got a little corporation
matter on hand to-day.” was the reply.
“Receiver wants to be relieved. I don’t
know whether I’ll consent or not. I’ve
got a demurrer to argue besides, and
By that time the car was at the
ground floor. A stout matronly woman
stood Waiting to get in.
“Well, young man,” she said, address-
ing the boy who had been called Frank,
“I was just about to go up and give
you a talking to in front of your boss.
Why didn’t you get father’s shoes that
you took to be half- soled.”
“Hush, mother,” whiSpered Frank,
as his face reddened; “I don’t want to
be talking about that down here. I’m
going to court.”
“You’re going to court, are you?” re-
sponded the stout lady in a loud tone.
"Very well, go to court, but if you
come home to-night without those shoes
you get no supper and don’t stir a peg
out of the flat the rest of the week?‘ Do
you-hear?”
“Say,” said the elevator man as he
stuck his head out of the car and-
grinned, “you’ve run up against the
Chief ‘Justice of the Supreme Court,
haven’t you? Gee-whiz!”
COMMUTATION couRTsmP.
the Old Man was Willing to Do Right but
Wished Matters on a Business Basis.
“Step into the library a minute,"
said Blufferty to the young Nincom-
noodle as he was admitted by the
maid. The old gentleman slammed
the door and cut loose.
“You call on my daughter, sir?”
“I have the pleasure occasionally."
“Occasionally? Thunder and Mars!
young me u; what would be your idea
of calling frequently? You’re here
seven nigh-ts in the week, to say noth-
ing of three or four m'atinees. This
continuous performance business has
got .to be stopped.”
“Do—does Marcia object?”
Mrs. Blufferty does not object. They
would like to give you the front room,
board you, adopt you, make a favor-
ite son of you. But I object, Mr. Nin-
comnoodle, and my objections are al-
ways sustained in this household.”
“You won’t forbid me calling at
all, Mr. Blufferty?”
“Not at present, sir; but I am going
to give you an occasional day and
evening off. We can’t any of us stand
this astonishing constancy. You see a
fellow trying to ring the doorbell of
this little card I hold in my band?"
“Yes, sir.” '
“Notice that it’s numbered from one
to seventeen? Same principle as a
milk rticket. ” .
“Yes, sh. ”
“That’s got to do you a month, sir.
_Every time you call the maid will
punch out a number. When the ticket
is used up you can’t get in here till
the next month.
“And I’ll be case keeper myself,
young man. Any bogus tickets, brib-
ing the maid, meeting on the sly or
trying in any way to brace the game
against me means that you will be
kicked out bodily and kept out. I'll
give you a benefit this afternoon, but
the ticket system goes into operation
at sundown.”
Her Reason. '
The young man picked up his hat and
. looked sadly at the lining.
“There is no hope for me?” he asked
faintly.
“None whatever,” replied the beauti-
ful girl, her eyes filled with compas-
sion.
When he reached the door he turned
toward her again.
“I have to thank y on for one thing,’
he said bitte1 1y.
“What' 151 that?” she inquired.
“You have not told me that you would
be a sister to me.”
“I thought of that, ”- she rejoined,
hurriedly; “but I suddenly remem—
bered. ”
“What?” he asked, shortly, as she
stopped. .
“That I promised. this morning, to
marry your father.”—Brooklyn Life.
Run.
The Doctor—«The trouble with you it
that your brain is overworked.
The Millionaire—What would you ad-
vise, doctor?
The doctor—Well if I were situated as
you are, I’d buy a seat in the United
States Senate—Puck.
Having a Time.
WickwirewI see that another police-
man has been suspended for sleeping on
his watch.
Mudge—I have been eating‘and drink-
ing on mine for a. week. ‘
The Laugh saved 'i‘rotibi'e.
“Why do you laugh at his stale
jokes. '" _
1 “If I did not laugh he would think
I did not understand the jokes, and
would try to explain them.”-—Truth.
tainly a great bore to have to spend so-
“Miss Blufferty does not object, sir. .
REASON DE'l'HRONED BY JOY.
Little Melissa Hunt Wanted a Piano and ,
Her Brothers Prepared a Surprise.
The strange case of Melissa Hunt,
the fifteen-year—old colored girl, at
Eishkill on the Hudson, who became
insane suddenly .aroused widespread
interest in the Vicinity.
Melissa was quite bright and viva-
ClOUS before her strange illness. The
girl had an aptitude for music, and
Was gratified a few weeks ago, and
she took several lessons.
Melissa was such an apt pupil that
she accmplished as much in half a
.‘
dozen lessons as many girls in two or
three terms of instruction. She ex-
pressed a wish for a piano and seemed
very anxious to own one. Her broth-
ers discovered this idea and told her
that as they were poor folks she
would have to get along without one.
Melissa was very much disap.
pointed, but bore up' quite bravely.
Her indulgent brothers decided then
that they would gratify her wish.
The jiano was brought to the Hunt
residence from the music dealer's
and setup in the parlor one afternoon
while Melissa was out calling on some
young friends. “'hen the young girl
returned home there was a twinkle in
Mrs. Hunt’s eyes, and she sent Melis-
sa in the parlor on the pretext of get-
ting a book for her.
The effect of the surprise upon the L
sensitive nerves of the girl was seri-
ous, however, far different from what
had been anticipated by the family.
As soon as Melissa caught sight of
the piano she shrieked, then tottered
toward the instrument, but did not
reach it, as she shrieked again and
fell in a dead faint upon‘ the parlor
floor. The girl’s joy had apparently
dethroned her reason.
The other members of the family,
who had followed Melissa in the ex-
pectation of enjoying her surprise.
were alarmed and ran to her assist-
ance. They picked her'up and had
her upon a lounge. By this time the
girl was wildly hysterical. A physi-
cian was called, mut failed to give
the little suifer much relief. She was
then afflicted with acute hysterical
mania.
For more than a week she did not
utter a word and appeared to have
lost the power of speech.
Lincoln’s Self-Training.
The following account of Abraham
Lincoln’s early struggle for mastery
of thought, told inbhis own language,
may be of use to many young people.
It gives the secret of the power of his
simple style. In 1860 Mr. Lincoln de-
livered a campaign address in Nor-
wich, Conn. The Rev. John Guliver,
late of Andover Seminary, said that
he learned more of the art of public
speaking in listening‘to that‘speech
than he could have learned from a
whole course of lectures on rhetoric.
He was so much interested in the
masterly address that he asked Mr.
Lincoln where he was educated. We
give the reply in Mr. Lincoln‘s own
words:
Well, as to education, the newspa-
pers are correct. I never went to
school more than six months in my
life. I can say" this, that among my
earliest recollections I remember how,
when a mere child, I used to get ir-
ritated when anybody talked to me
in a ivay I could not understand. "I
do not think I ever got angry at any-
thing else in my life; but that always
disturbed my temper, and has ever
since. ,
I can remember going to my little
bedroom after hearing the neighbors
talk of an evening with my father,
and spending no small part of the
night walking up and down and try-
ing to make out the exact mean-
ing of their, to me, dark sayings.
I could not sleep, although I tried
:0. when I got on a. hunt for an idea,
until I had caught it; and when I
thought I had got it, I was not satis-
fied until I had repeated it over and
over; until I had put it in language
plain enough, as I thought, for any
boy I knew to comprehend. This was
a kind of passion for me, and it has
stuck by me; for I am never easy
now, when Iam handling a. thought,
till I have bounded it north and
bounded it south, and bounded it east
and bounded it west-
The Wearing of Rings.
In the modern fondness for rings is
seen a survival of the barbaric love of
display, of superstition and of senti-
ment. The habit of loadinglthe fin.
gers with .jewels, which Seneca con-
demned in his dry, saying: “our fingers
are loaded with rings, each joint is
adorned with precious stone,” is still in
favor ,with a class in whom the barbaric
instinct 'is not yet exterminated, while
many a modern belle would like to wear
as did the Empresses Faustina and Do-
mitia, rings which cost $200,000 and
$300,000. And she does often wear, as
is did her Roman prototype, “sardony-
vese, jaspers and emeralds on the joints
of her fingers.”
r
A Hopeless Case.
The Senor Partne1—I guess we will
have to give up trying to get money,
from Sharpe.
The Junior Partner—Really ?
“It looks that way. His office is in
the second story of his place, you
know, and he threw our last collec-
tor out of the window, where the man
fell through an awning, you remem-
' ber. ”
“Yes.” .
“Now he Sends in a claim for the
damage to the awn1ng”-—Cinc1nnat1
Inquirer.
More serious Stun ‘ 1' ' '
He—Oh, Edith! you have broken
my—
She—Not your heart, surely!
He—No; my whole pocketful of ci-
gars.-—Somerville Journal.
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5
1’1} Brass
V Hinge Pins '
A _
* are placed upon all the doors of the Bay State Fur-
naces. These pins are non- corrosive, and you never are
troubled with the doors sticking fast. Perhaps you
never thought of looking at the hinge pins of a furnace
to see whether they were brass or not, but it is such
v little improvements as this that make the completed
Bay State perfect 1n every respect. 1~
You would not buy a furnace because it had brass
% hinge pins, but if it had everything else about it as
i
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r
you wished, you would be glad that it had this very
useful and important improvement.
Consult on
local dealer. y r a
A-
. -r';;
,1
fi FOUNDRIES—Provideuce, R.l.
{if _ Barstow Stove Co.
228 Water St, New York '7'-
BOSTON 0FFlCE——56 Union St.
is handsome, light, durable. Such gzaat‘c r. design as
is embodied in this “to”. “Icy—running, .zucu- toil-ced-
.6314
about” mount can caiy be sccurco 1.; the most
approved methods, finest material 2.2.1.1 ski 113d work-
manship.
The ’96 Stearns IS the best bicycle it is possible to
produce. Finished at your option 1n orange or black.
Address now for beautiful new catalogue.
“the Yellow “Fellow.”
E. C. STEARNS 6: C0., Makers. Syracuse, N. Y.
SAN FRANCISCO? CAL.
@xxgnxoaxmx O ‘TQtNTo, omxg
H. R. BULKLEY 81 00.. Agents. SOUTH NORWALK.
O 'uv-AIJ
Y
6
ToWle Vault Light Company,
MANUFACTURERS. 5””:
Will 1111113. 31111113
11111 Plum-mar 111319115.
smut-.3—
. Factory: i . Office:
40! OHIOOS AVENUE, l67 ELHI‘STREE’T,
BROOKLYN. NEW YORK.
Drop- Forged Durabty
W“ NI z»~'§3.11~
Drilling out with mathematicalaccur-
/ /-- acy drop-forgings of the finest steel' 15
“Fi- butcneofthewaysofsecuringCol—
/' umbia lightness and strength.’ There
are cheaper ways of making bicycles
than the way. Columbias are made.
3... emmiehmmw.
STANDARD OF THE WORLD.
Colambias, you know,'1n quality 3.116151 IOALKETO ALL g ’
construction are in class by themselvesjiir ’11 ~'
Beautiful Art Catalogue of Columbia and Hartford Bicycles h fi'e'e ifyou call upon any 1
Columbia Agent; by mail from us for two a-cent stamps. - *
POPE MFG. co, hart-ford, Conn .
Branch Stores and Agencies in almo very city and town. If Columbine are not
properly represent in your vicinity, let us know. . '
Norwalk Chronicler