Evening gazette, Tuesday, October 6, 1896 · page 6

 

 

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Foss/ave 'HIM. curl-1E ' SPOT.

Eugene Field Put His Wife Through a
, Trying Ordeal.

Another story of the late Eugene
Field’s «irrepressible love of joking
from the “Youth’s Companion.” He
and his wife had entered a street car,
to find all the seats taken so re one at
each end of the car, and they seated
themselves accordingly.

M'hesn the conductor collected the
fares Mr. Field announced in audible
tones, as ihegave him a dime, at the
same ltirnepoiniting to the far end of
the car: “This. is to pay the fare of
the lady over there—the one wearing
the new, beautiful, brown silk dress."

'All eyes were turned 'to 'her, anddier
pretty face took a most becoming
rose color, but back of the re-proving
glances she threw him was one of
mingled indulgence, appreciation and
mirth at the unexpected and appar-
ently truthful announcement.

Curiosities of seeing.

How many persons have observed
the fact that if we run our eyes along
the side of a room, or along the hori-
zon, the eyeballs do not follow the
movement of the head with a smooth,
uniform motion, but keep in line by
a series of quick,'. short, almost im-
perceptible jerks, just as the second
hand of a watch moves? At first one
may think that this_is not so, but care-
ful experiment will prove that it is.

If the'eyes are fixed on a moving ob—
ject, then the motion of the eyeballs
in following the object is uniform; but
when it is the head that moves, while
the objects looked at remain fixed, the
eyeballs perform in the manner just
described. .

It is not necessary in order to ob-
serve this phenOmenon that visible ob-
jects should be before the eyes. Let
the reader shut his eyes, press the
fingers lightly on the closed lids-and
then turn the head from side to side.
The little jerks with which the eye-
balls follow the motion of the head
will be distinctly perceived.

 

 

 

 

it cures Catarrh, even in
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of

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(TRADE-MARK)
the size of a pea, into
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It’s the quickest remedy
gfor
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liioers,

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Two sizes, 25 and 50 cents.
A: druggists, or by mail.

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“ The Cart

 

Is just as intelli cut a thing to do as the
way some manu acturersforce their Baking
Powders on the public. They don’t know
themselves what their goods will do. WE
KNOW the merits of

BOSS. . . . ,
BAKHNo POWDER

It’s what we have used for 32 years in our
business, and is the secret; of our success.
3,000,000, of our LUNCH MILK BIséUIr
alone, sold last year roves ‘we have a
meritorious article. T e thousands who
follow our example in their home cookin
zégree wig? usill lg? noit on] “The king
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MANUFACTURED BY

M . L0 D. BOSS k SON, New London, Conn.

 

 

 

 

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-—~__.——_

CUT-RATE MARR‘IAG ES.

, Philadelphia llIagistrates lVIust Pay the City
$5 ‘Whether They Get. that or Not.
Not all that comes to the mill of a
Philadelphia magistrate is gristfor
him to grind for his own benefit. There
appears to be a widespread impres-
sion that the fees secured for per-
forming marriage ceremonies
perquisites which the members of the
minor judiciary dare tuck away in an
inside pocket without making a record
of it. But that’s all a serious blun-
der.. The law prescribes that a mag-
istrate who links two loving hearts
earns a $5 fee for the city, and when
he makes a return therefor the “V”
must be forthcoming. The law was
treated with more or less‘ disregard
until Comptroller Walton stepped into
oflfice. Then every cent had to be
accounted for, and if a bridegroom un-
dervalued the services rendered and
tendered a fee of less than the legal
amount it fell to the unhappy magis-
trate to make good‘ the discrepancy.
A few days ago a well-dressed young
man, acompanied by a young woman
arrayed in spotless white visited
Magistrate O’Brien’s office and be-
sought him to perform the act of pres-
tidigitation which makes two one. The
magistrate sized up the couple and
felt no hesitancy in' anticipating a
munificent reward for his kindly ser-
vices. Pronounced husband and wife,
the senior member of the new combi-
nation thrust his hand deeply into
his inside pocket and brought forth
an envelope which, in the magnify-
ing vision of the magistrate, looked to
contain surely not less than a crisp
ten. The envelope was sealed and
not suspecting its real contents, Mr.
O’Brien placed it in his own pocket.
After the couple had gone the magis—
trate tore open the paper and was
almost transfixed when a $2 bill was

revealed. Of course the only way to,

make the account good is for Mr.
O’Brien to take the money from his
own pocket. He doesn’t believe in
paying for the privilege of discharg-
ing one of his multifarious duties, and
has written to the groom to produce
the diiference.

The Boy Favored iVIodern Methods.

The boy lhad been “in thought for
several minutes. At last he said.—

“Fwther, it’s wrong to fight, isn't
it?” \

“Yes, my son,” replied the father,
pleased to see [that his lessons on the
subject had not been wasted.

“It’s "wrong to try to settle disputes
by resorting to force, isn’t it?”. .

“It is, indeed,” return-ed the father.
“The whole tendency of modern civi-
lization is to do away with fighting
of all descriptions.” ‘

“Muscle doesn’t count for much as
it used to, does it?”

“No, my boy, physical prowess docs
hot rank as high as mental ability in
the world today.”

The boy again relapsed into thought
for a few minutes, apparently ponder-
ing his father’s words. ' V

“Then, of course, we’re all for peace
now,” he finally said.

“Of course, perfect peace is the ideal
for which we strive.”

“And we should strive for that ideal
in private and public affairs, shouldn’t
we?”

“Always.”

“That’s what I thought,” said the
boy, reflectiyely. “Don’t you think
we have a good opportunity to apply
it now?” .

“In what way, my boy?”

“Why, let’s arbitrate the question
of that licking that you are going to
give me after dinner. Everybody ar-
bitra'tes now.”

It Was arbitrated.

One on Him at Last.
He was a rich old fellow, one we

V -would call good hearted, much as we

say it’s a fine day when it isn’t. He
liked young company and jolly people.
He was sure to be at the cigar case
when some of the boys bought goods
and got that bargain cigar out of the
three-for-a-quarter lot. No one could
wet his whistle at the village bar with-
out running onto the beaming 01d fel-
l'ow, whose whistle was aIWays pret—
ty dry too, and he drank everybody’s
tod, but never any of his own buying.
His niggardliness was detested, but
there was something in his personality
that created a friendship so strong
that cold-blooded reason could never
dethrone. So the old fellow drank the
summer boarders’ rum, smoked their
cigars, and really made them happy
to know him. The migrations north
of the bird of pleasure brought the
Same people to the same old village
and the same old hotel. Everything

'seemed changed, for the .old fellow

was gone.

He had gone over the river with
Charon during the, winter. The boys
Wandered to the village cemetery, and
a shiny marble slab as fresh as an
untravelled man, stood up there as
familiarly as the—old fellow used to

stand at the end of the village bar. It

said: ,
“Boys, this is one on mel”—Turn-
ers’s Falls Reporter. -

 

Got a Good Thing and Liked It.
“And didn’t you like it up there?”
The deposed angel elevated her

brows suggestively.

“Well,” she rejoin-ed,"‘they gave me
a perfectly swc-ll crown and then said
I’d have to take it off if there was any-
body sitting behind me, and I just told
the usher he could go ahead and eject
me if he wanted to.”—-Detroit Tribune.

Untamed.

“Marriage!” said the unsophisticated
youth. “Marriage has a civilizing ef-
fect on a man. If not, why is it that
an old bachelor is so apt 'to be cross
and crusty?" ‘

“Because,” said the Cumminsville
sage, "because an old bachelor is not
m’rnisl to say what he thinks.”———Cin-
ciuuuii Enquirer.

‘are ’

 

LINCOLN AND Minus.

The Farmer's Preference in the Mattel
of the Vice-Presidency. .

I had hoped to see Mr. Hamlin renami-
nated, and had anxiously given Mr. Lin-
coln many opportunities to say whether
he preferred the renomination of thé Vice
President; but he was craftily and rigid-
ly non committal, knowing, as he did,
what. was in my mind concerning Mr.
Hamlin. He would refer to the matter
only in the vaguest phrase, as “Mr.
Hamlin is "a. very! good man,” or, “You,
being a. New Englander, would natural-
ly like to see Mr. Hamlin renominated;
and you are quite right,” and so on. By
this time Lincoln’s renomination was an.
absolutecertainty, and he cheerfully con<
ceded that. point. without any false mod-
esty. But he could not be induced to ex-
press any opinion on the subject of the
selection of a candidate for Vice Presi-
dent. He did go so far as to say that he
hoped that the convention would declare
in favor of the constitutional amend-
ment abolishing slavery as one of the ar-
ticles of the party faith. But beyond
that. nothing. ~

I may say here that when I returned
from the convention I made a verbal re-
port. to the President, and entertained
him with an account. of some of its do-
ings of which he had' not previously
heard; and he was then willing to admit
that he would have been gratified if Mr.
Hamlin had been renominated. But he
said: ‘

“Some of our folks [referriug, asJ bo- ,

lieved, to Republican leaders] had ex-
pressed the opinion that it Would be wise
to take a. 'War Democrat; as candidateofor
Vice President, and that, if possible, a
border State man should be the nominee.”
Mr. Lincoln appeared to be satisfied with
the result, saying, "Andy Johnson, I
think, is a good man.” Nevertheless,I
have alvvays been con fident that Lincoln,
left to himself, would have chosen that
the old ticket of 1860—Liucoln and Ham-
lin—should be placed in the field. It is
reasonable to suppose that he had re-
solved to leave the convention entirely

freevin its choice of a. candidate for the.

’Iecond place on the ticked—Century
Magazine.

THE KNOW NOTHING PARTY.
Sprung Out. of an Oath Bound,0rder I.
This City.

The American party sprung out of a
secret and oath bound order that was
formed in New York for the avowed pur-'
pose of checking the influence of foreign
born voters, purifying the ballot box and
keeping the Bible in the public schools.
In the city of New York. where voters ol
alien birth had become ix-fluential, the
order flourished exceedingly, and when it
was extended to other States it attracted
many on whom pariy obligations sat.
lightly, while the old parties were either
breaking up or undergoing a purging
process.

The Democratic party had generally
been in favor of easy naturalization. The
term of residence requisite to lawful nat-
uralization, at first fixed at two years,
was extended in 1795 to five years; the
Fedora. ists, in 1798, stretched this to four-
teen )‘z‘ill's, but in 1802 the Democratic
Repu‘n icans cul it down to five' years.

Men who left the Democratic party be--

cause of its domination by foreign voters,
or‘who dropped out of the Whig party

when it; began to show signs of decay, now .

found an asylum in the American party.

The American party flourished exceed-
ingly in 1852, and reached its meridian
greatness in 1855, when it. obtained a con-
siderable foothold in the South and car-
ried important elections in the New Eng-
land States, California, Kentucky. Texas
and NewYork, and showed great strength
in Virginia, Georgia, Alabama, Missis-
sippi and Louisiana. The party made
preparations for entering the Presiden-
tial contest of 1856, and actually did set
its standard in the field; but the rising
tide of opposition to the further extension
of slavery eventually swamped the or-
ganization, and it finally went. under,
192g before the breaking out of the war of
the rebellion.—Scribner.

THE BRIDGE’S GREATEST CRUSH.

“Weird Scone About the East River Fug
on the Evening of January 21.

The great crush on the Brooklyn Bridge
in the early evening of January 21 of this
year was undoubtedly the most severe
strain the bridge has ever received from
dead weight. For nearly two hours there
were fully 2,500 tons of people distributed
along the structure at a given time. No
greater strain from foot traffic will ever
be known, probably, on the bridge. All
the bridge authorities declared that‘ it
was the largest throng in its history.

A dense winter fog had fallen over the r'

city and harbor. The ferryboats to Brook-
lyn for nearly an hour had ceased run-
ning. It was at 5 o’clock in the after-
noOn, and thousands turned from the fer-
ries to the quicker transit of the bridge.
Accidents at. either end of the bridge bod
completely suspended the service of the
cars, and. then the thousands and tens of
thousands turned to the promenade and
legan a march that was slow and really
as dangerous as traniit by boats in the
thickest weather. -

Up around the New York tower the
crowd turned and twisted. The women
were pale; scores of men were laughing,

alf boisterously, as a boy whistles to
keep up his courage, and there seemed to
be a nervous dread akin. to hysteria per-
vading the entire crowd. Out. on the
center of the bridge thethrong was omi-
nously silent. Really weird was the situ‘
ation. ,

The crisis was reached at the Brooklyn
tower. There the crowd had to go down
a flight of steps, and there was the great-
ost danger of falling. Had one woman
become hysterical there and fainted notho
ing could have prevented a trampling to
death. That throng could not. be stopped
any more than a river can he stopped
when anyone falls into it. No one did
faint and no one fell.

I asked Superintendent Martin, of the
bridge, whether he had made any special
computation of the strain the bridge had
undergone in those two’ hours from half
pant 5 o’clock until half past 7, and he
said he had not, because there seemed to
be no necessity for it. Each cable of the
bridge-is able to withstand a strain of
12,000 tons, and the strain from this crush,
estimating the 40,000 persons on the
bridge at one time at. an averageweight
of 125 pounds, would be only 2,500 tons.‘

He said, however, that the conduct of
the people illustrated wonderful self con-
trol, and he had no doubt that if the
crush had come in the early days of the
structure a panic would have resulted,
and the loss of life would have been
greater than on the o‘pmiug day of th!
bridge. ,

i

 

_ The Intelligent Witness.

A lawyer had been questioning the
witness for-same time, and at last got
him down to personalities.

“Did I understand you to say, sir,

that the defendant made certain re-.

marks about me ‘2”

“I said so, sir.”

“Ah! Well, now sir, from what
you know of me, do you believe those
remarks to be strictly true?”

“No, sir.” '

“Very well. Now will you be good
enough to state to the court what he
did say ?”- ' ,

“Yes, sir. He said he thought you
were a, truthful and honest man."

Surprise 0n Both Sides.

Teacher—What great event occurred
on the Fourth of July? ‘ ,

Scholar—Columbus discovered Am~
erica.

Teacher—Nonsense!

Scholar (in surprise)—He didn’t? .

Teacher—Of course not.

Scholar—Well, then, who did?—Do—
troit Free Press.

1)" Every Mother Knew, Ber Ii tie Ones.
Would be Saved.

BRIDGEPORT, Comm, May 3, ’95.——-Dr.
Hand—Dear Sin—“I have used -. Dr.
Hand’s Teething Lotion and found it all
it is represented. I have had no trouble
at all with baby during his teething: it
has helped him so much, he teases to
have it used on his gums. If every
mother would use it they would save the
little ones a great deal of suffering.
Yours respectfully, Mrs. Harry Browne,
614 State street.” Dr. iland’s Teething
Lotion sold by all druggists, 25c.-

Mr. and Mrs. Peter J. O’Brien will
celebrate their fifth or wooden wedding
anniversary, at. their home No. 43
Chapel street, Wednesday evening,
October 14th. __'_ __

Baby’s Best Friend—Moth er. Next—D
Hand‘s Colic Cure.

HARTFORD, Comm, Oct. 26,. ’95—The
Hand Medicine Co.—-“By request of my
wife the undersigned writes you “that
baby’s best friend is her mother,’ and
next best is Dr. Hand’s Colic Cure. Used
same for past months. it IS 1mp0551ble
to write our appreciation of your prepa-
ration and do most cheerfully request all
mothers to use same for their little. ones.
Our baby is now teething. W. Lincoln
Barnard.” Sold by all drugg1sts, 25c.

Mr. and Mrs. Ferris Gay, recently
married have leasedrooms in the Mrs.
Harriett A. Sturges residence on East
avenue, and will commence housekeep-
ing.

 

 

. Two Lives Saved. ‘
Mrs. Phoebe Thomas, of Junction City,
Ill. was told by her doctors she had Cou-
sumption, and that there was no hope
for her, but two bottles of Dr. King’s
New Discovery completelycured her and
she says it saved her life. Mr. Thomas
Eggers, 139 Florida St., San Franc1sco,
sufl‘ered from a dreadful cold, approach-
ing Consumption; tried Without result
everything else, then bought one .bottle
of Dr. King’s New Discovery and in two
weeks was cured. He is naturally thank-
ful. It is such results, of which these are
samples, tn at prove thewonderful efficacy
of this medicine in coughs and colds.
Free trial bottles at E. P. Weed’s Drug
Store, Norwalk and Monroe’s , New (‘a—

naan. Regular size 50c. and $1.00.

 

Harry E. Bentley of Belden avenue,

is acting as nurse for George R. Cowles'

who is supposed to be fatally ill at his
home on East avenue.

Old People,
Old people who require medicine to
regulate, the 'bowels and kidneys Will

find the true remedy in Electric Bitters. ‘

This medicine does ‘not stimulate and
contains no whiskey nor Other intoxl-
cant, but acts as a tonic and alterative. It
acts mildly on the stomach and bowels,
adding strength and giving tone _to the
organs, thereby aiding Nature 1n the
performance of the functions. Electric
Bitters is an excellent appetizer and aids
digestion. Old People find it just exact-
ly what they need. Price fifty cents and
$1.00 per bottle at E. P. Weed’s Drug
Store Norwalk and Monroe’s New Ca-
naan. '

 

G. Fred Austin has opened his new
restaurant on Water street. It is neat-
ly fitted up and is quite modern in all
its appliances.

Relief in ’2! Hours.

Distressing Kidney and Bladder dlS-
eases relieved in siz hours by the “New
GREAT SOUTH AMERICAN KIDNEY
CURE. ” This new remedy 15a great sur-
prise on account of its exceeding prompt,
ness in relieving pain in the bladder
kidneys, back and every part of the urin-
ary passages in male or female. It re-
lieves retention of 'water and pain in pass-
ing it almost immediately. If you want
quick relief and cure this 15 your remedy.
Sold by E. P. Weed, Druggist. Norwalk,
Conn. ' ’-

Mrs. '1‘. K. Noble will read alpaper at
the meeting of the Daughters of the

King, in Hartford, October 13th and,

14th. ‘

Bucklln’s Arnlca Salve.
The Best Salvein thewo’rid for Cute

Bruises, Sores, Ulcers. Salt. Rheum.»

Fevez-Sores,£l‘ett‘er, Chopped, Hands
Chilblaius, Corns and all Skin Erup
:ions, andpositivclycnrcs Pllss. or .no
Payrcquired. It is guaranteed to give
perfectsatisi'actiou,or money refunded
Price‘zf- cents per. box. For Sale by
E. P. Weed,,Norwalkand Monroe, New
Canaan. ' p

r

 

Mrled'ward Stone, Sn, and Miss
Nellie Stone of Norwalk, are visiting
friends in this city—Bridgeport Tele-
gram. ' ~ ' V
The Best Remedy for Bowel Com-

“ - , plaints. V

It gives me pleasure to most heartily

recommend Chamberlain’s Medicines.
advertised them for a long time before I had

occasion to use them in my own family. At ,

the time referred to, the patient was 5 er-
ing terriblyfrom cramps, yomitmg and
purgeing. Iwas delighted wlth the prompt
relief aflorded by Chamberlain’s Colic, Chol-
era and Diarrhoea Remed .—A. M. EVER-
LAND, Editor and Propne or of the Weekly
Globe. Mendon, Mich. For sale by -E..P.
Weed, Druggist. _

' ' (

THE Evnnrsezoo2ooio”7;“7.‘**" é_'<r71

i

 

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NUWlS ' llllB " I

 

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The Value of an Adveltisemeni

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llEPEHDS ON THE, POGKETS OF THE PEOPLE
WHO READ IT. ADVERTISEMENTS II

THE evrmuo orzmr m
nun “av rnosrwuo.
HAVE now To .' . -

SPEND. ‘