1111 111111111 IS ON. _ ‘ is t 3 TIM i. To Subscribe for' the Both Papers Sent to one Address for $1 .OO a Year. min. RAILROADS 1E. ”CHINA.” Railroad Building Not Done Precipitately in the Flowery Kingdom, There are in all more than 400,000 miles of railroadsi in the world. and of this-mileage nearly 175,000 belong to the United States and 150,000 to Europe. The .balance is distributed unequally thoughout Asia, South America, 'Africa and Australia, with a larger mileage in Australia than in Africa. The present railroad mileage of China is insignificant when com- pared with that of some 'American states or American systems. It con- sists of one road, from Tientsin to Kaiping, a distance of eighty miles, or about as far as from New York to Rhinebeck. This diminutive Chinese railroad, constructed under the su- . pervision and as a result of the advo- cacy of Li Hung Chang, is the one railroad in China, but it is to be ex- tended into a trunk line to reach the capital city of Pekin, and to connect the latter with Tientsin. It is' to be an Imposing afiair, with double tracks and many stations, and is to be under the general control of the imperial au- thorities at Pekin. The estimated cost of the road is 3,000,000 taels, equivalent to about $4,250,000. Railroad building, like everything else in China, is done with cautious deliberation, and sometimes by a crab-like movement. The first rail- road line in China. was started more than twenty-years ago, and was in- tended to connect the big city of Shanghai with Wusung. After it had run successfully for a year the Chi- nese government bought it, and soon thereafter the track was torn up and the materials were shipped out of the country. That was the end of the first railroad in China. A' second small road had the same fate. and then there was a lull in railroad building until the construction.of the Tientsin line, the extension of which is to bring the road into the city of Pekin. The people of China are not favorable to what an English writer has described as the freedom of trade. They object to any new alliances with foreign countries which will entail the opening up of either the ports or the cities of China to outsiders. Accord- ingly, railroads are to be expected only through the intervention of the government, and the reprehentative of whatever progress there is in the Chi- nesegovernment is Li Hung Chang. THE LATEST HUMOR “That fence wants 'painting badly. I think I’ll do it myself,” said the young husband. “Yes, do it yourself if you think it wants to be done badly,” said his wife. “What are you crying for, child 2’.’ “Archie hurt me.” “How, pray?” “I was going to hit him, when he ducked his head and my fist went against the wall. ” “What is your name?" asked the judge of the young wife. “Carolina Augusta Emma.” ”And how are you generally called l” “My sweet ducky,” answered the young wife, bashfully. “Ah!” said Mrs. Buzby, to her hus: band, who has come home with a black eye and no hat, “that’s what you get for riding a bicycle.” “No, my dear; it’s what I got for not being able to ride one,” said Bus. by. I . 1,5, , . “That’s a French coin, sir,” said the conductor. “1 can’t take it.” “You can t9” said the passenger. “You gave it to me in change this morning.” “Well, you see, I’m more particular than you are.” “By the way, shall I put in a buf- falo? The ride Over the mountains will be a little stiff,” said the stable keeper, referring to the‘ robe. “Ah, couldn’t you let be ’ave a ’orse, you know?” said the English blood. “I’d rather not drive a buffalo the first time, you know.” One exceedingly Warm day in July a; neighbor met an old man and re- marked that it was very hot. “Yes, ” said Joe, “if it wasn’t for one thing I should say we were going to have a thaw.” “.W hat is that?” inquiredthe friend. “There’s nothing froze,” said Joe. Miss Lakeside—“Mr. Beacon Street, I understand you have been telling people I talk too much.” Mr. Beacon Street—“My dear young lady, what I said was that your volu- bility was devoid Of terminal facili- ties. ” Miss Lakeside—“Oh, that alters the easel-10w people do get false im— pressions.” “Will you kindly tell me what time the four o’clock train leaves?” asked the affable stranger. “Well, of all the Chump questions!” cried the ticket agent. “Say you’d better chase yourself away before the depot falls on you.” “Oh, never mind,” said the stranger, “if the question irritates you. I just wanted a little information. I’m the new superintendent (if the road, you know” “But tell me, how did you happen to marry him?” asked Aunt Mary. “Why, you see,” replied Bertha, “everything was ready. He had asked me to have him and I had consented; he has procured the license and en- gaged the clergyman; and I had sent out cards and ordered the cake; so, you see, we thought that we migh-r as well ' go through with it. There, aunt, that is the reason, as near as I can remember it.” - . ' ~ ‘TiHEEVhNiNG GAZETTE HE WAS LOOKING FOR TROUBLE. But the Religious Editor Had a. Scheme “'hich Clrcumvented Him. \ . He came into the editorial room of the Daily Twinkler. He had the an of one looking for trouble, and would not be happy until he got it. He lounged up to the city desk. “Say, dis kinne1'—,,a1'den pape out?” The editor trembled. He thought of his family and little children. Yet. despite all, that he was the editor. “Well, say! will youse put me out“ do farmer wot wrote dat roast on me in dis morning’s pape? He said dat— well, (lat don’t out no ice. Jes’ let me put me lights on him. Where is he?” “Oh,” said the city editor, relieved- ly, “the man you want is our relig- ious editor. He is in the next room. You—you will not hurt him?” “Hurt ’im? Naw. I’ll only put ’im in a paper bag. Jes’ phone up t’ de coroner’s an’ say fer me dat he will have a stiff in ten minutes.” He'trotted into the adjoining room. A mild-eyed, slender man sat at the desk writing church notes. “Say! me handle is Mick MeManus, from de Ate, and youse did me dirt dis A. M. Are youse de felly wot wrote dat me mug cracked beer. glasses every time I takes a high ball?” “Oh, yes,” “said the mild-eyed man. “What a charming story I made out of it. ” He. reached over and got a couple of fifty- pound dumb bells and began moving them gently. “And did youse say dat me family wus mugs, and dat we stopped tick- ers an’ made railroad tracks crooked when we smiled?” “Yes, I wrote it. It pleased the boys on the stafi.” He was now throwing the bells up to the ceiling and catch- ing them with his little fingers. “Is there anything I can do for you?” “Naw. I only wanted to meet youse, an’ say dat de gag tickled de Ate fer all dey was wort. Fix us up . again. Ta-ta.” And he drifted out again. Then the. religious editor took up the two-pound, black-painted wooden dumb-bells, placed them in a cubby- hole, and continued his peaceful work—New York World. Ballast for Ducks. Few people credit a duck with the sense he really possesses, said Fred Ozenne, a disciple of Nimrod. “For years I have been wondering what had caused the presence of a good- sized pebble bank on the shore of ,the lake in the Grandivola section of the Louisiana marsh. Had it beena sand bank I could have understood it. but it was composed of pebbles, all very much alike, rounded and smooth al- most to a .size, and apparently dif- fering from the small stones found in the gravel beds of the South. Sev- eral of the hunters in that section had seen the pebble beach, and, like myself, they could not understand it. All winter long it seemed fresher than at other times, and during the sum- mer the grass would kind of cover its upper portion, and the mud from the fresh water dim the lustre of the stones near the edge. There was not another beach like it in the marsh. “One winter, in fact it was just when the first cold spell struck us, I was hunting with a. friend in the lake I spoke of. It was one of the finest ducking spots in the state. This was before they had begun to make glue from the eggs in Canada. When we reached there there was not a duck to be seen, The next morning I was hiding in the grass near the peb- ble beach when I heard. a sound of wings, and a large flock of mallard settled near me. Before I could raise my gun the entire lot walked out on the pebble bank, and, to my astonish- ment, began to disgorge a lot of small stones like the ones already there. This occupied but a short time, and the flock began quacking and sailed into the lake, and I shot several. This settled the mystery of the pebble beach. In the spring I was again hunting in the lake, and when the first warm weather came the ducks began to go home. They would come to the beach, and, after a few prelim- inaries, swallow a lot of the pebbles, then fly around for a few minutes in order to see if their balance was all right. If they were too heavy they would disgorge a few stones, or if ' too light swallow a half dozen Iflore.‘ "‘I found by observation that in or- der for. the ducks to make long flights it was 11eceSsarv for them to fill up with a certain number of stones to secure a proper equilibrium for the re- turn trip. After I found this out I always had plenty'of game to show my friends."—New Orleans Times- Democxat. . ZIMMERHACKLE’S OBSERVATIONS. Some men never settle up because they never settle down. Nothing will clean the dirt out of bottles and the air out of bicycle tires like caipet tacks. Some mouths are always getting their owners into troublé and others . are alWays getting them out. There is no objection to a young woman being able to play the piano. But she should also learn to cook. Music won’t satisfy a hungry stomach a great while at a time Your hus- band will find time to eat three times every day, but he will only find time to listen to your piano playing on a full stomach. Learn the piano, but don’t neglect the kitchen. You may be lucky enough to marry money enough to hire a cook, but even then, , there will be thousands of times that you will thank your stars you know how it should be done—Dansville Breeze. ‘ are youse de bloke wot gitst I he answered truthfully“ C97) Q33 @) (9) Q (0;) eeooooeooooooooooof f ‘. e3 0 . . . . 1. 0 ‘ . O should be constructed to give the maximum 0 of comfort, minimum of expense. Comforz’ does not mean warm in one room and cold in anothzr, but summer heat in." all rooms in zero weather. ‘ Expense is not all in coal bills. Poor j joints leak gas, light castings crack and .. burn out. Repairsq in winter mean discom- f01t and sickness. The doctor’s bill would have purchased a Bay State Furnace and saved all this.- Be wise in time. Consult your dealer‘or write us. :y BarstOw Stove do. 228 Water Street, New York Foundries, Providence,R 1. Boston Oliice, 56 Union St. ©©OOOOD®©WOOO©O©©©©©© -v. 4.11 ,1 -‘u‘- L. o©©©©©©000©©©®0©©0©©O©©® . © STEARN BICYCLE A N D DE CONTENT. .. is known throughout cycling as a light,' staunch, stylish, speedy mount. There’ s a best in every- thing; the ’96 Stearns' 1s a veritable edition de luxe. among bicycles. Finished' 111 black or orange. Steatns riders are satisfied riders, and always proud. as kings of their mounts. Your address will insure receipt of our hand- some new catalogue. - E. C. STEARNS 6: CO., Makers, Syracuse, N. Y. Buffalo, N. Y. Toronto, Ont. San Francisco. Cal. H. R. BULKLEY 81 (30.. Agents, SOUTH NORWALK. ’Towle Vault Light .Compa MANUFACTURERS. 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Norwalk Chronicler