Evening gazette, Tuesday, September 15, 1896 · page 2

 

 

A comment: BURGLAR.‘

He Returned Papers Which Were of No
Use to Him.

Few burglars show such considera-
tion for their, victims as the one who
visited the residence of J. R. Anderson,
in Mountain avenue, Montclair, not
long ago. Mr. Anderson lives in a cot-
tage of Colonial design, surrounded by
pretty lawns.

His house' 13 somewhat isolated. The
burglar, after reaching the piaz'za, re-
movedthe putty from one of the panes
" of glass to the library, and then re-

moved the glass- He went through the

private papers in a desk 'in. the room
and took what he believed Would be of
value. He then entered a closet ad-
joining the library and took five Over-

- coats belonging to Mr. Anderson and his
sons, besides a loaded gun. His ope1a
tions were confined exclusively to this
room. He overlooked silverware of
much value,,which was in plain view
on the sideboard in the dining-mom, ad-
joining the library. '

The first 'intiVmation that the housr
had been entered was when Mr. An-
derson went into the library in the morn
ing to get his overcoat. He foundthings
turned upside . down. He discovered

that the thief or thieves had stolen .

sum of money which he had left in the
desk, but he said it was not more than
$30. His overcoat contained valuable
papers.

When Mr. Anderson arrived at his
office at N o 54 Franklin Street he found
among his maila peculiar letter; it was
of considerable bulk, and had on it two
two cent stamps and a. special delivery
stamp. It was mailed from Jersey City.
On opening the envelope Mr. Anderson
found the papers which were in his
overcoat.

Accompanying the articles was the
'- following note, which had been printer.
in lead pencil. ‘

‘As these cannot be turned into cash,
I return them, so as to save you unne-
cessary expense and trouble.
YOUR BURGLAR."

The Typical American Husband.
The type of American husband most
familiar among us, however, is the

man cf busy energies, kindly, affec-
tionate, proud of his family, with whom
he is free~handed and-sympathetic in
their pleasures—who might, if the stress
of making a livelihood would leave
him free to do so, enjoy domestic life
heartily, and aid in bringing the mar-
ried state to ’be what good old Dicky
Steele described it in the Tattler—J‘a
complication of all the pleasures of life-
and a retreat from its .inquietudes.”
But, alas !, under the conditions of mod-
ern money grabbing, what opportunity
has the poor man to cultivate fireside
amenities and hang garlands upon the
Bares of the hearth? He hurries away
from home di1 ectly after eating a hasty
breakfast, to return to it late in the day,
tagged from the incessant and nervous
grinding of the mill down-town, and
ravening for his dinner.

At such a moment, all the charms and
a'l the virtues combined in one wife.
often .cannot win smiles or playful
speech from any husband so beset; and
a wise woman efi'aces herself until the
postprandial hour gives her a reasona-
ble hope of claiming his conversation.
At this period of the evening, unless
she isia mere monger of nursery gossip,
or . a . household drudge, her spirit,
braced andexpauded by the day of in
dependence and~ responsibility, is eager
for the fray of ideas. She longs for the
interchange of sentiment on current
topics. while her heart owns to a little
joyous thrill of satisfaction in the tete-
a-tete that has lost nothing by years of
repetition. ' To it, even the grown chil-
dren are an interruption; and 'she sees
them go their several ways in search of
more active entertainment with almost
a ‘sigh of satisfaction. ' :What, at this
interesting juncture, is the attitude of
the ideal husband? What, of the real
husband? These are queries to bean-

swered by observation, or by expert.

coca—North American Review.

‘ K ' 'Can This he True‘l '

Mayor Pingree of Detroit was
shocked last week by a .show at a
local theatre,
sentsla firealarm at nightin a young
, woman’s school, when a number of pu-
pils appear inwhite night gowns, as if
just aroused from sleep. Mayor. Pin-
gree at onCe, according to a Western
paper, issu‘ed a decree directing that at
future pe1forman¢es the young women
should appear in “bright red .1111: slip-
pers.1ed stockings, red bloomers
and led overskirts.”

I A 09911 VDog of Lineage.

-Minneapolis is particularly stuck up
just now over a recently imported coon
dog, which Tom Cordry proudly a‘n-
nounces is not only the greatest artist in
its line in either Kansas or Missouri
,but is “a, direct descendant of a dog
which the Queen of Honolulu presented
to King Solomon, and which that royal
monarch'u‘sed in hunting the coons im
the corn fields of Palestine 200V yea”
ago. ”V—Chicago Dispatch.

Ready to Fight England.

x A Washington story says it' 1s gratify-
ing to know that if we had declared war
with Great Britain we might have
counted upon the allian cc of at least
one- Kickapoo brave and one hero of the
tribe of Sacs and Foxes, for they have
written to the President asking for a
subvention of blankets, and expressing
their readiness to, take the war path im-
mediately _
' . ‘ His Memorable Day. '

Mrs. Grimes (of the surburbs)—-l

' w'ish Icould remember what day it was

_ Isent those light brown gloves to the
dyer 3.

Mr. Grime—It was three weeks ago

last Tuesday. That was the day I didn’ t

have to bring anything home from down .

town. —Chicago Tribune.

There were many ladies without hats
at the' theatre last night, and it was
geneially conceded that they were the
handsomest ladies there—Atlanta
11311111111.

 

One of the scenes repre- ,

. ble voice.
, leave you to imagine what had just

 

PADEREWSKI DIDN’T GO.

and the Woman who was Ready to Pay
Union Bates was Mad.

“ls Mr. Paddyrooski in?’ inquired a
thin faced little woman with a com-
plexion like a sugar cured ham, as she
struck the Palace Hotel counter with
the handle of her parasol to attract the
clerk’s attention.

“I don’t know, madam,” he replied.
“You will have to send up your
card.” »

“Well, I’ll tell you what I want, and
maybe you can help me. I’m going to
give a dance over at my hotel at T0-

males to morrow night, and I' want him

to play. Do you think he will?”

“Well, yes; he 1s a' professional mu-
sician, and I’m sure he will play if he" 1s
paid for it.”

“Oh, I’ll pay all right. I’ll’ deposit
the money with you here in advance,
because he might not give satisfac-
tion.”

"Here’ 3 his manager,
Mrs. ~'———?”

“Potts.” '

“Mrs. Potts. She wants to get Mr.
Paderewski to play to morrow night.”

“We have no engagement for to-mor-
row night, and he will play if he is paid
for it.” -

“Oh, certainly. I expect to pay him,
and liberally too. He can come over by
the afternoon train and go back in the
morning, and I’ll allow him two days’
pay. I’ll deposit the money now with
the clerk as security,” and she counted
out $8.

‘ Why, madam,” protested Gorlitz.
Paderewski would not think of coming
for less than $8,000.”

“Oh,.mercyl” and she gave a little
scream; “and just think how near I
came to making a contract without
coming to_terms. I think it’s a shame
—-an outrage. I’ll report it to the Mu-
sician’s Union. Their rate is $4 a‘ day,
I know, because that’s What I’ve always
paid for a piano player. I’ll bet the
union will make it so warm for him he
will just have to get out of town,” and
in her rage she flounced out without her
umbrella—San Francisco Post.

Mr. Gorlitz,

THOUGHT HE HAD A BARGAIN.

But 'I‘This Line of Shirts” Didn’t BIean All
Shirts 0n the Line.

He was from the pastoral regions of
Gloucester County, and when he drift
ed OE the ferryboat at South stree
wharf there were whiSps of golden haii
a-hanging down his back. He had 110'

 

 

floated very far northward when heE

came to a halt before one of those
unique haberdash‘eries which help to.

give South htreet its distinctive, bazaar
like character.

Stretched across the outside of the
show window was a small st1 mg loaded
down with men’s shirts in stripes and
checks of gorgeous _.hues It how the
sign:

“This Line of Shirts, 50 cts. ”

“I see the price of them air shirts are.
50 cents,” said the innocent to the out-
door “barker.”

“Yaas, mein friendt, 'dem shoortz vosV

“All right,” said the J erseyman fish-
ing out Of his capacious breeches pock-
et a quarter, two smooth worn dimes
and a battered nickel. “I’ll take’ em. ”.
He’jerked the strmg loose at one end
and then at the other, and was starting
off with his bargain when, with a shrill
whoop of protest, the sidewalk clerk de-
tained him.

It required the united efforts of all
the population on the block, reenforced
by a linguistically accomplished police-

man to induce the countryman to break

away from the bargain. When he was
finally made to understand that the
shirts were 50 cents a piece he didn’t
want any—Philadelphia Record.

Vest’s Parliamentary Inquiry.

Mr. Vest of Missouri was making a
speech in the Senate recently, when
first Mr. Peder arose and began to
speak, and then Mr. Sherman, all three
addressing the Chair at the same time.
Mr. Vest looked amazed, and after a
minute’s hesitation, called out:

. “Mr. President, Mr. President.”

The President paid no attention to
Mr. Vest, however, when the Missouri
member changed his tactics by declar-
ing his desire to make a parliamentary
inquiry. This appeal was not lost on
the President.

“The gentleman from Missouri will
state it,” he said, ignoring Mr. Pefier
and Mr. Sherman.

“I believe I was addressing the Senate
and had the floor,” said Mr. Vest, “but
it seems that ‘I have no longer get it. If
I can’t get it any other way I rise to a

. parliamentary inquiry to. find out how

I lost it ” 4

There was a ripple of laughter in the
chamber, Mr. Sherman apologized for
his interruption, and 'Mr. Vest continued
to hold the tort.

To Become Beautiful.

Eat fruit for breakfast, eat fruit for
luncheon. Avoid pastry. .

Shun muffins and crumpets.

And buttered toast.

Eat whole meal bread.

Refuse rice pudding.

Decline potatoes if they are served
more than once a day.

CD0 not drink too much tea or coffee.

Walk four miles every day. '

Take a bath every day. Wash the
face every night in warm watch. Sleep
eight hours a night.——Evening World.

A Clever Gifl.

A young lady was sitting with her
lever in a charmingly decorated recess.
On her knee was a,diminutiv‘e niece. In
the adjoining room, with the door open,
were the rest of the company. Says the
little niece, in a jealous and very audi-
‘ “Auntie, kiss me, too.” ‘1

happened. “You should say twice,
Ethel dear; two is not grammar,” was
the immediate rejoinder. Clever girl
that. —Scranton _V(Kan) Gazette.

Madge—I’m 111 an awful fix.

Ethel—What 15 it. dear? .

Madge-Jack insists that I shall re-
tum his engagement ring, and for the
life of me 1 can 1; tell which one it is.

w ...\- ylttj NW

'and:.-thre'e cents for taxes.

T11E.E1*E§tirto

JOHN "L. A 6000 TALKER. ~

Vs‘uillvan Has a Little Argument with
Evangelist Sankcy. '

The Sullivan of the pre sent at} will

dismiss. almost any subject in p1efe1-
once to prize fighting. l_'t is different
no doubt, when the wine is in and the

atmosphere reeks of .pugilistic prattle.

Then his thoughts turn to
The things that wez e that are not.

and he speaks in an um. hiistian spirit
of “that dude Corbett,” Who. deSpoiled
him of his crown. Bat Sulii van cold
and sober is a reasoning animal, and
whatever references he may then 1.1ake
lo the late unpleasantness’ aic chiefly
1c1na1kable for the dispassionate way
in which they are uttered.

Any one who conversed with Sulli-
van a few years ago and will converse
with him now can scarcely help no-
ticing that the “big fellow" has im-
proved wonderfully as a conversation-
alist. Naturally intelligent, and with
a memory that is retentive to an ex—
traordinary degree, he has by keeping
close track of the news and by nibbling-
at periodicals and useful books general-
ly, reached a stage where he can talk
entertainingly on any" scheme. As Eu
gene O’Rourke remarked with pride:

“John can stand a tap on almost any-
thing fiom the Cuban Rebellion to the
cathode 1 ay.’

But a chat with Sullivan without
some refe1 ence to.‘ 'affairs (in fist” would
be a good deal like an omelette with
the eggs omitted, so that when John L.
had skipped like a ponderous butterfly
from one important issue of the day to
another, the Examiner interviewer gave
the ex-champion’s thoughts a gentle
wrench ringward. '

“This fellow Fitzsimmons has proved
himself a fighter,” said Sully,‘ ‘and I’m
sure he will have no difiiculty in get-
ting at least 810,000 backing against
Corbett. Such being the case I don’t
see why Corbett wants to fight over in
England, unless it is that Corbett knows
something about himself that the public
doesn’t know, and prefers one-of these
English twenty-round goes to a good
old American fight to the finish. Even
at that I think Corbett is the better
man of the two, because he is so much
cleverer.

Sullivan believes that Fitzsimmonq
will eventually agree to meet Corbett,
~ d he believes the fight will be a stub-
:rorn one. _ He does not think that pu-
gilism is becoming a lost art, but is of
:he opinion that future legislation will
provide for contests in properly organ-
ized clubs, and that referees will be en-
dowed with authority t0,decide matches
oefore they are brutal, owing to the
barked superiority of one or the other
of the combatants.

"I believe in pugilism and I am not
sore against any man because he differs
from me,” said John. “I think, though,
that the ministers are meddling in mat-
ters that don’t concern them when they
interfere with the game. Why, down
at San Jose the other night a cler . n
was pointed out who has been railing
at fights for years, and where do you
think he was? Right in the front row,
and he has to‘be on hand early to get
there.

""I traveled with Sankey, the evangel-

ist, recently, and I had a bit of an argu- .

ment with him on the subject of pu-
gilism versus the pulpit. He said a
good many things that I couldn’t con-
tradict, and I guess I got back at him.
I said to him.

‘ ‘Now, Mr. Sankey, we all know
you’ re sincere, but don’t you think that
even in your game there are a lot of
bunco steerers?’

“Well, sir, he laughed and took it.

good naturedly, but I notice he did not
come back at me with a general denial.
—San Francisco Examiner.

A MINIATURE REPUBLIC'

A Charity which Teaches Industry ant]
Thrift to Boys and Girls.

During a recent address before the
New York League of Political Educa—
tion Mr. James A. Cruikshank thus de-
scribed a miniature republic where
children are taught industry:

“We! take the street boys and girls up
to Tompkins County to a beautiful hill-

side, where they can learn to be inde-.

pendent, to think for themselves, and
steal the farmers’ apples and have a
good time.

“Last summer we had 300 children
there, and we started our republic. It
is a military republic, with bugle calls
for orders, drill, dress parade, and,
when the beautiful starry flag goes up
to the top ,of' that 60-foot pole and all
these youngsters sing ‘My, Country, ’tis
of Thee,’ it’s the grandest sight I have
ever seen. There are industrial classes
for boys and girls.

“But the finest thing of all is that

they pay for every thing they get, and'

are paid for eve1ytl'1ing they (10.th
in the coin of the realm, but in card-
board, which serves the very same
purpose.

' “It costs every child ten cents for
each meal, ten cents a day for lodging
.So they
must work 01 get into the pauper class.
We have em banking department, our
Senate and House of Representatives,
and' 1n every way self- government. The
Senators are electedfor two weeks, and
the Representatives for one week as
the boys,3 0'0 through the form of an
election quite often.”

 

India’s Deadly Snakes and Beasts.

It' 15 stated that there were 2, 893 hu-
man beings killed by tige1s. leopards,

hyenas and panthers in India during.

the-year-1894, and’ in the same year'the
same-speciesof beasts killed 97 ,37 1 head
of cattle. The number of human lives

destroyed by. snakes in India in 1894

was 21, 538. The number of wild beasts
killed in the same year was 13, 447, and
the number of snakes V102, 310.

Why Not “Onto”. 7 . 1
Can any authority on the English
language explain why"i11to” and:‘ tum
to” are admitted to the best literary so.
uiety, whii 0 their equivalent “onto” i1
nternly denied recognition‘Z—Phdadel

 

 

Dhia Ledger. V , -

 

CONSOLATION FOR ESAU.

A Barber“: Reply. to Theories Held by a
Customer About the Hair and Beard. .
“Wish my beard didn’t grow so fast,”

a man remarked to his barber. “I lost

half an hour a week in your shop.”

heard was a blessing in disguise.

“How do you make that out. Remove,
pray, the disguise. ”

“Well, when the beard grows fast it's
a sign of vitality. Athletes ever since
Samson, have had'plenty of hair—not
always on the chin, perhaps. It doesn’t
matter where it grows. '

, than fat people ”

l “I never heard it was a sign of vital<
.ity,” replied the other. “I have heard
it was a sign of sensitiveness, and my
observation bears this out. The extent
and fineness of a mah’s piloslty is a cri-

strength. Besides, yen know, a man’s
hair, except as it supplements his nerv-
ous organization, is quite independent
of him, a kind of parasite, in fact. They
say it keeps on growing after death,
and when skeletons are exhumed they
are all overgrown like an axe left in
the grass. That’s the reason why hay-
seed I-‘opliists wear such long beards;
if death won’t stop it, Why should they?
to sacrifice a hair’s length is an affront
to the pow as above, and those farmers
are just lazy enough to rest in such an
excuse.”

“Oh but, my friend, you are all
wrong!” expostulated the barber. “The
hair only seems to grow after death.
Men who are shaved, as is proper im-
mediately after death, do in a few days
appear to need .shaving again, but this
is not because the hair has grown, but
because the skin has shrunk, thereby
exposing
which are a quarter of an inch from
the surface. This strange phenomena
gives rise to the common fallacy about
the ugquenchable fertility of hair.

“As to your sensitive theory,” he con-
tinued, “I can’t agree with you. A the-
ory that doesn‘t hold with most women

,person’s hair grows generously or not
depends Somewhat on his physical in-
heritance” (sons of bald men are often
bald, I notice), and very largely on his
own stock of vitality. This much can
be said, however. The man with a full
head of hair seldom has a vigorous
beard; and the man with a sturdy, am-

on top. Nature sees to it that no man
shall be a monopolist of hirsute glory.
That a disproportionate amount of
strength goes to the hair is shown by
the fact that, aside from looks, men
feel better if their hair is cut occasion-
ally. The long-bearded Populist is
properly represented as a lank, cada-
verous, bloodless creature. And I once
saw-a fat woman in a museum who-—"

But the ma‘n’s beard was trimmed,
and, having found a man who could
beat him at reeling off long words, he
gladly sped out at this point.

NEXT- YEAR’S WHEEL.
Improvements Likely to be Seen in the
’97 Bicycle.

The subject of ’97 impi-ovements is
pretty young,but it is nevertheless just
what the manufacturers are most con-.
cerning themselves with at the present
time, says the American Cyclist. The
prevailing standard will be carried
along another year—perhaps for all
time—but progress will be manifested
in betterment of details, and, the term
“details“ is comprehensive enough to
include matters sufficiently large to
come under the head of novelties and
innovations. Although riders have as
yet hadebut comparatively little ex-
perience with the larger tubing intro-
duced this year, its superiority to the
small tubes of the past has been made
plain, and its use will be continued.
The machine is more rigid, there is less
“winking” of the frame and a resulting
saving of the rider’s strength. A gen-
eral change in spokes may be regarded
as a possibility. There is, in certain
quarters at least, a tendency to return
to the straight spoke. Deference to
fashion se'éms to have been the main
incentive to the universal adoption of
the bend at the hub, but from the me-
chanical standpoint the bend has never

been regarded as an improvement.

According to the common belief ball
bearings have come to stay. They
have, and then again, perhaps they
haven’t. Nothing known equals the
“spinning”unality of the ball bearing
carrying an unweighted wheel, but
that is not saying that something may
n‘otyet be found to work better than
balls under a load. It is according to
good mechanical law to suppose that to
get the best possible. results the heat-
ing of a Wheel should “bear” the en-

that a number of makers will. tentative-
ly~apply- modern elaboration of this
principle to bicycle wheels another
year. ~

The fact that the English retain tire
gear—case argues for its eventual adop-
tion here. ' Full exposure of the chain
to the dust and dirt of the highway
must be regarded as a mechanical an.
surdity. The English consider the gear-

. case an “extra” 'to be paid for as such.

To admit of its use-a slight departure
from present American models would
be necessary. we look to see American
adeption of the gear-case pioneered by
a maker- or two in the near fut m, but
hardly expect that this much needed
accessory will be generally included
among the improvements of ’97.

“You should'get your ears lopped.
Brian,” said,a,V“sma1-t” tourist to :11
Irish peasant whom he‘- was quitzVing,
“they’ re so large for a man. ” “A 11’ be
dad ” replies the Hibemian,
just thinkin’ yours would want to be

 

tanased’

GAZETTE_Vfi_,l “7-'»“1553
The barber assured him that a strong
Thin active '

people are pretty sure to have more -

terion of his delicacy and nervous"

aaAAAAAAAAAAsaAaAa.s

the hair nearer its roots, V

and many men is no good. Whether a.

bitious beard, like yours, is often bald

tire length of the hub. We understand -

“IV was

 

made larger; sure they’ to too small for V

 

.. .- .. __ ,._,

 

o: heating apparatus. which are ack—

no .1 ledged to be the standard for
econc..-y, durability and power,- combined with fine
fittings, smooth castings and unique designs, mus t
be the. result of long experience. Sixty years may
not be necessary to accomplish all this, but it cer-
tainly is an element of our present success.

Our complete line comprises cast iron, .steel
plate and wrought iron furnaces, combination hot
water and hot ai1 heaters; portable and brick set

' ranges; office and parlor stoves; fire-place heaters;
tailors’, laundry and gas ,
stoves. We can fill your
wants and will be glad to
give you information up-
on any of these heaters.
Consult your local dealern

BARSTOW STOVE CO Fo udder—Providence. R. l.

228 Water Street. New York. , I Boston Dulce-56 Union St.

33333333333333333333333

cassette

 

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sassssssss

:3.

 

 

 
 

as

 

 

mws
ESEARN

BICYCLE
' V Edgigiir _

 
 

the ,
Yellow
fellow

is known throughout cycling as a light,V staunch,
stylish, spacey mount. There’ s a. best in every- ~ '
thing; the ’96 Stcarns' IS a veritable edition dc I‘uxc
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Stcarns. riders are satisfied riders, and always
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Your address will insure receipt of our hand-
some new catalogue.

E. C. STEARNS & C0., Makers, Syracuse, N. Y.
. VBufialo,'VN. Y.

 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Toronto, Ont.

 

San Francisco, Cal.

H. n. BULKLEY a. co.. Agents, s'ourH NORWALK.

 

 

'Towle Vault Light Company,

MANUFACTURERS.

VAULT LIGHTS. 'SKUGH

111119115111 LIGHT‘DESIGNS.

 

Factory: Office:
“I BRIGGS AVENUE. [6" ELM, SVJ'REET,
BROOKLYN. NEW YVOBK.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

If you are able to
pay ’IOO for a bier
ole, why be content“
with misuse

 

STANDARD OF THE WORLD.

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