, house,”
seems to me that I had been up here to‘
1
" WISH’T I WAS A GIRL.
Wish’t I .wus a. gurl,
Stid uv bein’ a boy, ,
An’ bang my hair, an’ eat ice cream,
An’ ride ahind my feller’s team,_
Like 'gurls duz—
nu
Wish’t I wuz a gurll '
Wish’t I wus a gurl,
An’ when‘t come Sunday nite
I’d Whack that old pianner,
Just clean up outensite.
An’ I’d marry sum rich feller,
. Like girls duz—
Wish’t I wuz a gurll
Wish‘t I wus a girl,
I’d chaw gum an” talk,
An’ when out ter promenod
I’d take up all the walk.
Like some girls duz— ,
Wish’t I,wuz a gurll
Wish’t I wus a girl, ~
All boys good for is't "' .2
Ter carry coal an‘ run odd jobs . 13.4.
An‘ git off the walk for dudy snobs -
Like I did t’other nite—
Wish't I wuz a gurti
Wish’t I wus a gud,
Wish’t the Lord made all boys gurls, “’3
An" madegurls boystud hen the same
An’ I’d been Lizy Ann by name,
An’ she’d ben John or Joe stid of J ane,
Wish’t he had—
Wish‘t I wuz a gurli
—-Bradford (Pa.) Era.
LIEUTENANT IN LOVE
“In love, Lieutenant?" I cried, al-
most starting from my seat, so greatly
‘ had he surprised me.
My Friend Swash generated a great
cloud of smoke in his pipe and it so en-
veloped his head that I could not see
his face, deeply flushed as it must have
been, and from the cloud of gray vapor
came the gruif reply: 5
_ “Yes, in love, confound it 1”
"’ “Oh, how interesting!” exclaimed my
wife, dropping her magazine and look-
ing up at my friend and myself, whom
she had always previously declared to
be the most uninteresting when we got
together over our pipes.
It is not 'very pleasant for me,” mut-
tered Swash. He was greatly embar-
rassed and fixed his ”eyes pensively on
the floor.
“Where is her home?” I asked.
I “I don’t know,” he answered brusque—
'. ”Where does she live?” muttered my
wife.
“Don’t know that.”
“Where did you meet her?” said I.
“ Can’t tell you that either, Dockboy.
Don’t think me disagreeable. If I
could, I would gladly answer your
questions. Indeed, I wish that I was
able to.” ‘
"Your case is truly a strange one,” I
said. “Is this young woman purely an
ideal, a mental creation of your own?
You have been melancholy enough of
late to have been sighing for something
more material.”
“She is not a mere creation of my
imagination,” replied the Lieutenant
solemnly. “She exists—where I don’t
know. I saw her once a great way OE
and she realized all my ideals of the
woman I would make Mrs. Swash.
And when I saw her, for an instant,
though it was, I cried to myself, ‘Here,
Swash, is the woman you have dreamed
'of all these years.
That soft, intellec-
tual face those soulful eyes, those belong
to the woman you have been waiting
for.’ Then she was gone, from where
and whither I don’t know, for I can’t
tell where I saw her.”
“Your case is really most remark-
able,” I said. “Explain. Don’t sur-
round yourself with such an air of
' mystery. It would relieve you to con-
fide. your troubles in us. Perhaps we
could help you.” _
“Yes, indeed,” cried my wife enthu-
siastically. Perhaps we can help you.”
Swash started. “Ah, yes! ,Where
did I leave ofl? Perhaps you can—in.
deed, yes.” ‘
“Perhaps we can assist you,” I re-
peated.
“I think not, Dockboy,” he said, hav-
ing recovered himself. “For my case
is truly remarkable. I have swept the
skies with a telescope and cannot find
her.
night, scrutinizing thousands of win-
dows and still have not a trace of ,her.
You see I saw her under the most pecu-
liar circumstances. but see her I did and
I lost my heart. From a satisfied bach~
elor of 50 I have'lbeen metamorphosed
into a lovelorn, disappointed, unhappy
-—-I can’t get a word to fit my case.”
“Your use of a telescope is queer,” I
interrupted. “I have suspected all along
that you saw her In the skies.”
“You have guessed my secret,” he
said mOurnfulIy. Inexplicable as it
seems, that is just where I saw her, and
she was not in a balloon, either. This
idea that I, crusty bachelor, that I have
been, am absolutely devoid of sentiment
is incorrect. In my life I have met wo-
men, hundreds of them, many beauti-
ful, many charming, and perhaps not
insensible to my own good- points.
Against them my heart has been proof.
This is not because I am callous to we-
man’s charms, but because I long have
had the belief that somewhere in the
world one was waiting for me; an ideal.
I pictured her to myself not in my
dreams, but in my wideawake moments,
as I sat alone with my pipe. At such
times she became so real that she
seemed to be beside me as I smoked; so
real that I almost felt that if I spoke
she would answer, but I was deterred
from experimenting by the belief that
with ‘ such a one silence has more
charms than speech. I have no doubt,
Dickboy, that long before you ever met
your wife you" saw her face gazing be-
nignly on you from a cloud of tobacco
smoke.”
"Ugh! cried my wife.
pipes.
“Now it happened that one night
about a week ago I was walking down
Broadway on the way to my boarding
continued my friend. “lt
She hates
see you. At Fortieth street, as ill-luck
would have it, I ran across one of those
itinerant astronomers who had set up a
telescope on the pavement and hung out
a small sign calling attention to the
met that Saturn and its rings could be
seen for, five cents. Business looked
dull and I kind of ‘pitied the poor fei
' I
I have walked the streets day and -
.. T H E E v ENIN G G A ZE}
’ low. It had never bEéii my fortune to
gaze on Saturn and her rings, so I
stepped up, gave him; a nickel and fixed
my eye at the end of the instrument.
At first all was blackness.
the ring,’ said I. ‘The lens is riot ad-
justed,’ replied the astronomer. And
with that he began to. turn a lot of
screws.
hazy, gray light, that I suspected was
from a theatre across the street, but I
said nothing but strained , my optic
nerve to make out the planet. It was
of no use. I withdrew my eye and com-
plained. The astronomer 'then,discov-
ered that the instrument was pointed
wrong, and he looked through it, low-
ered one end and gave it a turn.
“My eye was at the instrument again
but no change was visible in the make-
up of the heavens beyond a marked in-
crease of light. Once more I com-
plained, and the man declared I must
be nearsighted. ‘Look harder,’ he said,
giving the machine a little twist. And
I looked harder, but instead of Saturn
I saw clearly a woman— my ideal,
she whom for years I had pictured in
my smoking moments. There she was,
sitting at a window, one arm resting on
the sill, her hand on her chin, her
eyes looking directly into mine.
Even in the half-light, every fea-
ture was clearly discernable; there
was the soft black hair waving
across a white forehead; the eyes, deep
and full of immeasurable good things;
.the nose, the mouth, everything that
I had been seeking for. I gave an ex-
clamation of joy.
“ ‘You see her now, sir? Do these
rings show up good?’ This remark
from the astronomer brought to mind a
forgotten fact. I saw her through a
telescope; where wasthat window that
I could seek her out? I had found her.
Better never to have seen her, than
under such appalling conditions. There
she was, gazing calmly at me from the
other end of a long tube. I could al-
most touch her and reached out my
hand. 5
“ ‘Hold on there!’ cried the astrono-
mer. ‘You'll upset the machine.’
“My involuntary movement to em-
brace what was not there did indeed
disarrange the apparatus, and so badly
that she disappeared, and where she
had been, a star was winking at me. As
if I cared for stars.
, “I paid for five more looks at Saturn.
but could find nothing. In vain
swept the skies, and the housetops
and windows with the telescope, and
with my naked eye. She had vanished.
I went home disconsolate. As surely as
I sit here, Dockboy, I saw her. It was
not a hallucination. She was sitting
inareal window within the range of
that telescope; but where I don t know,
and perhaps never will know. My
you have told is true and not a mere
imagination. ” '
“How romantic I" cried my wife.
Lieut. Swash sighed. ‘
Not long afterward my friend and I
were at the corner from which he
had viewed his ideal in the flesh. The
itinerant astronomer was there, too,
with his telescope pointed heavenward'
in readiness for use. He greeted my
companion pleasantly, and apparently
had been expecting him.
“Maybe you’ll see that planet you’ve
been looking for tonight,” he said.
“I’ve cleaned off the lenses so they’ll
work better.”
“Planet-l Beautiful luminary, ra-'
ther,” muttered the Lieutenant, stop-
ping and screwing his eye into the end
of the telescope. “I can see nothing
but blackness now. Lower the other
end just a little—there.” He began ad-
justing screws with the skill of one ini-
tiated into the mysteries of the heavens.
“Allow me to try the glass,” I said.
“My dear fellow,” he cried. “It is of
no use. “If I can't find it, after search-
ing every night for weeks, you can’t.
There is nothing in sight. It’s only a
question of patience. of waiting until it
again appears.”
“Let me try,” I said peremptorily.
He acceded to my request. With the
assistance of the astronomer I got the
instrument in the desired position,
fixed my eye to it, and focussed it.
“Pshaw,” cried Swash, impatiently,
“you’re looking right down Broad-
way."
“Them"s electric lights, sir, not
planets,” ventured the astronomer po-
litely.
These remarks had no effect on me.
I bided my time. At length it came.
“Swash, don’t be excited,” I said;
“but just fix your eye here.”
“It’s her again,” he cried, before he
had his optic thoroughly adjusted.
You’re right, Dockboy, we’ve got her.
Now mark where the telescope points
to. Don’t lose it. . Get the direction.”
“Have you read what is below the
window?” said I.
“Jove!” he muttered. “ ‘Miss Maxy
Mumps, the actress, writes: “I have
‘ used Dr. Hoaxer’s harmless hair tonic
9?,”
and find it perfection.
“We’ve got her, Swash; we’ll spot a
window with~«that sign— why, confound
it, she’s gone!" ,
Swash straightened up and seized my
hand.
"Dockboy,” he whispered, so'the as~
tonished astronomer could not hear,
“I’ve found her, thanks to you. I can
spot her window by that sign if it’s
Within ten miles. ‘Miss Maxy Mumps,
the actress—-’ ”
“Look again,” I said quietly, “and
tell me what you see.”
Once more he looked, but only for a
second. '
“Confound it I" he cried. ”Am' '1
crazy? I saw a girl on a bicycle and
under it letters saying that if you bike
you should ride a Duster.”
“Gentlemen ” interrupted the astron-
omer, “I’m afraid you ain’t, seen Sat-
uru,‘ nor no other planet. You was
looking at that advertising canvas way
down Broadway.” - ,
Lieut. Swash has gone to the country
/
for a few'days.
‘I can’t see ‘
The blackness gave way to a -
ideal has become a reality, but under .
what trying circumstances. Do you
wonder that I am miserable?"
“I surely do not,” I said. “If what '
1
’NO PIE, NO CUSTOMERS.
End of the Model Restaurant for Newarl
Factory Hands. ‘
The model restaurant which the
Clark Thread Company started directly
opposite their mills at Clark and Ogden
streets, Newark, N. J., last October.
has been closed. It was open just as
long as there was a man or" girl to pat--
tronize it. When the handful who had
remained true to wholesome food,,long
after the advocates of cake and pie had
gone back to their first love, deserted
the’ place, those behind the enterprise
made up their minds that it would
mean a waste of money to go further,
and they shut the establishment. One
girl purchased a seven cent bowl of
soup from the counter piled with
steaming urns, on the last day the res-
taurant was open, and then she went
across the road to the baker’s and
bought a chOcolate eclaire for three
cents. That was the final blow, and it
will be many years before the Clarke
will make another attempt to win their
emplgyes away from the piles of pie and
cake with which the neighboring—Elkers .
fill their windows. .
The history of the Clark model res-
taurant contains an object lesson for
persons who think that the working
girls can be won away from the pie and
cake habit.
Early last fall the idea of starting the
model restaurant occurred to the
Clarks. For years the bakeries in the
neighborhood, and there were more
than a dozen of them, had enjoyed a
monopoly of the lunchebn business. As
soon as the noonday whistle blew, the
girls would drop their work and hurry
out to the bakeries, where they would
load themselves with all sorts of pie
and cake, lug them back to the factory
and there eat them with what plain
food, such as sandwiches, they had
brought from home. The Clark mills
employ several hundred girls and men,
and the pie business had grown {to
enormous proportions when the Clarke
concluded that the .time had come to
break it up.
It was so prevalent that the bakers
could [net cook enough stuff on their
own premises over night to supply the
demand, and wagon loads of pie and
cake were brought out from the busi- '
ness section. each day and unloaded on
the bakers. Mr. Clark made a tour of
these bakeries one day to see what sort
of food his employees were getting.
The rows and rows of thin pies, and the
shelves of cream puffs, eclairs, and
other creations, so disgusted him, that
he resolved then and there to make a
change. Then came the idea of the
model restaurant. Mr. Clark knew
that most of the girls in the factory
lived so far from it that , to go home to
dinner in the limited time allowed
them would be impossible. ‘ He knew
that most of the girls brought light
lunches with them and that each was
in the habit of spending in dessert each
day anywhere from five to twenty
cents. It was this little spending money
which Mr. Clark resolved to divert into
other channels by establishing a. restau~
rant for wholesome food without pastry,
and which effort proved a dismal fail.
ure. Mr. Clark now knows that the
average girl likes pie and pickles.
RUINED BY A STRIKE.
The Plight of a Laboring luau Who at One
Time Had :1 Salary of 88,000 a Year.
The story of Richard Resse, the
counterfeiter who was arrested near,
Los Angeles recantly, is a tragic ex-
ample Of the mutability of human af-
fairs. Reese has seen but two years
less than half a century of life. His
training was that of a mechanic. He is
not a man skilful with hands alone, but
one who works with both hands and
brain. When U. S. Grant was running
for President years ago, there was a
big political celebration in Chicago.
Grant was there, and Reese rode in his
carriage as a representative of the la-
boring classes, proclaimed by his fel-,
lows the most skilful mechanic in all
America.
As the years went by the man’s repu-
tation grew and increased. At last he
obtained a place in one of the great
shops at Homestead, Pa. Eventually
he rose to be a foreman, with a salary
of $8,000 a year. Then came the great
Homestead strikes, which brought ruin
and death to so many men. Reese was
infected with the labor doctrines then
prevailing. When the struggle was
over Reese was a ruined man. His
place was lost, and a reputation estab-
lished as a man who could not be relied
on in a strike. ,
Reese came to California. He came
to Los Angeles some months ago ex-
pecting to obtain a position as foreman
of. the rolling mill. There was some
hitch, and in consequence Reese obtain-
ed only a subordinate position. He was
not content with this. There was a
dispute, and Reese’s connection with the
mill ended.
Reese got very poor indeed, and pov-
ertydrove him to crime. He put his
skill as a, mechanic to the evil use of
making bégus money. He declares he
has been engaged in the nefarious
business but a few months, meaning to
save enough. money to buy a little home
for himself and to get another start.
That accomplished, he had vowed to
live an honest life again.
J ollnny’s Reason for His Calling.
The Minister——When_ you grow up,
Johnny, what would you like to be?
J ohnny—A preacher.
The Minister—Ah. I am glad to hear
you say that, my little man. Now tell
me why you think you would like to be
apreacher.
Johnny—’Cause then the folks would
git out the best things they had in the
house to eat when they see me comin’.
—-Cleveland Leader.
The difference between a ship and
her passenger is that the ship heaves in
sight while the passenger is a little
more particular.—-Binghamton Leader.
In the race of life it isn’t the fast men
who come out ahead—BinghamtOn
Republican. , _
.
. there is one thing more than
another which gratifies us, it is the
great volume of hearty thanks which
come from grateful parents for the
cares Hood’s Sarsaparilla has effected
'upon their children. The agony of
despair turns to unspeakable joy as
mothers and fathers see dreadful sores
and eruptions gradually yield to the
potent purifying power of this great
medicine, and bright boys and girls
given perfect health. Read this:
“When my baby was four weeks old,
scrofulous eczema broke out on his body.
He became literally covered with
Sores
When six months old the breaking out
healed on his body, but his head, face and
arms were a terrible sight. I passed many
sleepless nights holding his little hands
to keep him from scratching his face. I
cannot tell what hesufi’eredWith the sores.
One doctor attended him a year without
avail. NO one thought he would ever get
well. He was almost a year old when I
commenced to give him Hood’s Sarsapa-
rilla. He soon grew so much better that
Cured
I was able to rest at night. Gradually the
1 sores on his head and arms healed, the
burning and itching ceased, and he slept
better. In 2 months he looked like an-
' other child, gained strength, was cured.
I recommend all persons afflicted with
eczema or any skin disease to take Hood’s
Sarsaparilla. I feel assured that it will
do wonders for others“ I cannot praise
it too highly for what it has done for my
poor little sufferer. It is hard to believe
he isrthe 'same child, he is now such a
big, hearty, fat ,boy, a very picture of
health. If more people would give Hood’s
Sarsaparilla to their children, there would
not be so many poor, delicate little ones.”
MRS. AGNES C. BAILEY, Box 91, Movey-
town, Pennsylvania.
This and other similar cures prove that
Hood’s
Sarsaparillg
Is the One True Blood Purifier. All druggists. s1.
Be sure to get Hood's and only Hood’s. It is
prepared only by C. I. Hood 5; Co., Lowell, Mass.
cure all Liver Ills and
I'lOOd’S Pills SickHeadache. 25cents.
DRINK
HAIHIIIIN
SPRINII
was
FOR THE
Stomach,
Bo wels,
Liver and .
_______ Kidneys.
F0 R SALE BY
The Holmes, Kaela &SBIIBGK. to
Chilton Paint.
Every gallon. of paint made by the
Chilton Mfg.’Company is mixed and
ground in pure Linseed Oil. All shades
are mixed and ground by machinery
seven times, making them uniform and
even. Compare the size of cans and
weight with the cheaper makes. You
get an honest gallon. Give it a trial and
you will be convinced.
H. H. WILLIAMS
17 ' Main St.
PLYMOUTH ROCK ICE.
Stores and Families Supplied.
Lowest Rates.
SPECIAL SALE
——OF— .
Sailor Hats
NOW READY.
Unirlmmed, Inc and Upwards,
Trimmed; .50.: and IIpwards,
.6 FAWEETTS- l
53 IWater Street, :Norwalk
1”_ ,,
' It c’»~h..i.¢._sns ,
For good goods is the result of. great painstaking for
years. Our plant at Providence is equipped with every ,
dev1ce necessary to facilitate economical production. '
. The bestworkmen o‘nly are employed, and thorough .
attention is g1vcn to every detail of manufacture. We
g can always furnish the best stoves, ranges and fur-'1'
good price for the best goods of a first-class business
house? They always prove the cheapest in'the end.
There is a great difierencer in Furnaces, and we“ "i!
simply want you tO carefully Consider the ,‘f Bay
State ” before purchasing any other. ;Your local II
dealer can tell you all about W” If ‘
them, or you can address us for I?
a catalogue—Free, of course. “
naces to be had. Were you ever sorry that you paid a
O
_' BARSTOW STOVE C 3’" “ltvi’iSW'
Foundries—Providence, R. I. Boston omceftt Union Street.
.M; f
" \’ «bicycle
is handsome, light, durable. Such grace cf design as
is embodied in this “fast, easy-running, much-talked-
about” mount can only be secured by the most
approved methods, finest material and skilled work-
- manship. '
The ’9e Status is the best bicycle it is possible to
produce. Finished at your option in orange or black.
% Address now for beautiful new catalogue.
“the YQIIOW 7¢IIOW.”
E. C. STEARNS 6: 00., Makers, Syracuse, N. Y.
BUFFALO, N. Y. SAN FRANCISCO“: CA]... TORONTO, om. ' I
.. 3
,/
e‘xexesexexexexee
WS‘F-a:
, _;r...
4
91"“:
H. R. BULKLEY &::co., Agents, SOUTH NORWA‘JLK.
l
-.
I ’ V D I I‘ll
If you Don’t believe it, Come and Seal
$l00BICYCLES FOR $65.-
laiesi ’96
_ Pattern.
Built to Sell at
Tee Price.
PIERGE,
AIIIES.
LIGHT, ,
fitlllll” . ~
V .1 Elfin!)
nohmn,’ <¢/[/11\V K" - \ Full Guarantee.
DIANA, “ .. Easy Terms.
WE ARE NOT IN THE COMBINE.
For Terms and Lease of Norwalk Fair'croundvs, apply to
LUTHER M. WRIGHT,
Carriage Factory and Repository, Franklin 8: Madison Sta, So. Ilorwalk.
Branch Shops at 3:311 River anl ’Darien. '
a
<-.sl7 '
{‘2‘
[A
r
A . I —
If you are able to~
pay'floo for a I331:
cle, why be content
With ’aanut a
_ STANDARD OF ‘ THE WORLD.
Nineteen years of re utation’ for building the best bicycle, backed
by the certainty 0 quality assu ,byfour scientfl igmethodsg,
should mean much to any buyer of a bicycle. , There rs but. one.
Columbia quality—one Columbia price— , . 5
'5lfio To ALLALKE. .
' " ° ‘ ffe if cmupénny'
”mm A“ cfil’é‘éfi‘fifflfifmfldfifimfifi333.13. aims?“ . , _
POPE MFG. CO.,.‘ Hattford, Conn.
Bran tom and ‘ codes in almost every n and town. If Columbine are not“
oh .8. , 9%“? representedinyour vitcl'nizy, let us know. . . , . .
Norwalk Chronicler