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a I THE AMERIIAII Jpaflgtggahfidgkiflltfsmk
IMITAIIUNS I
Do net be deceived by infringe-
ments of name, package or cigar-
ette.
THE ONLY GENUINE
tweet Ilium mumps
Bear the fee slmlle signature 0
on the package and on each cigarette.
, . TAKE noun WITHOUT.
WANTED TO GET SOLID.
How an Aspiring Journalist Lost
Job.
The experiences of young men who
are anxious to enter the newspaper
business because they think they are
born journalists on the strength ‘of the
fact that they used to write “good com-
positions” when they went to school
have been an inexhaustible theme for
the professional ~joke maker from time
immemorial, and they are not all fake
jokes that are written about them,
either, as the following real happening
Will show: -
A reporter on an afternoon paper was
-.
His
detailed the other day to go out and
write up a fight that had occurred in
the northwestern part of the city, and
in the course of his hunt for facts he
ran across a busy young man who
proved a very mine of information. ‘
“You onght to know me,” said this
young man to the reporter, after the
latter had pumped him dry. “I used
to be a reporter onyour paper.”
“I don’t remember you,” replied the
chaser for news, figuring to himself
whether to brace for an application for
a loan or hint for a drink.
Whereupon the mine of information
allowed that he was a green'hand and
had worked only four days, though he
did not volunteer any information con-
cerning the reason why he failed to
hold his job for a longer period.
When the reporter got back to the
cfiice he asked his city editor about the
young man he had spoken to, mention-
ing the young man's name. The city
editor thought awhile and then he re-
membered. '
“Oh, yes, I know him,” he remarked.
“He’s the stiff that used to come in
every morning and shake hands with
me. As soon as he would hit the office
he would chase up to me, grab my lunch
hook and agitate it up and down, at~
the same time making solicitious in-
quiries about the health of myself and
my wife. I stood his work fiar four
mornings and then I fired him.” '
All of which goes to show that it is
poor policy for a hired man to get too
familiar with his boss—St. Louis Ite-
public.
HE DARED THE ENGINE.
A Drummer Tells What He Saw in a
Railroad Yard.
“One Christmas I was down watching
the ‘yard geese’ or sw1tchme'n in the
yard at Ottumwa, 1a.,” said the drum—
mer to a San Antonio Express man.
"The whole crew were celebrating,
more» or less, and had paid many visits
to "."lie lload to Ilell,’ kept by old
Stormy Jordan, who bucked the prohi-
bition law so long. A fellow III the
crew 'pulling pins,’ :1 tall, lank, blue
nose from the eastern limit. of Nova
- is‘icotiafivas always ‘chewing the rag' and
'rawhiding’ with the ‘eugle eye’ or engi-
neer on the yard engine. ioth \vere
pretty well tanked and got to blufiing
each other, and finally the blue nose
bet the engineer he could stand in the
middle of the track and get on the head
end of the engine as fast as she could
' turn a wheel.
“They put up $25 a side, but that
wasn’t all the stakes. Failure meant
certain'death for the switchman and
a trial of the engineer f or murder.
“They went out into the yard to set-
tle it. There stood the switch engine
all ‘hot.’ The ground was frozen and
slippery and the track full of ”hard-
packed and frozen snow to the tOp of
the rail. 'Up to then we thought they
~were binding, but when they took the
engine back a quarter for a start we
tried to get the fool off the track, but
he was armed with a car pin and stood
us off. _
“The engine came at full speed, 25 or
30 miles an hour easy;,that fellow stood
staggering drunk in the center of the
track and never moved. When the en-
gine reached him he leaned ’way back,
set one foot up on the step and she '
picked him up lake :1 flash and never
even threw him up against the.iron
hand rail! They went back to the sa-
loon and one more drink apiece put ’em
both asleep.” .
.‘ HAD TO RESURRECT HIM.
Novelist Du Terran Forgot That He Had ,
Killed One of His Characters.
A great master of the art of throwing
Off stories by daily installments was
Ponson du Terrail.
the height ofvhis vogue, says the Boston
Transcript, he kept three running at
the same time in different papers. His
fertile imagination was never at a loss,
but his memory frequently was. He
was apt 10 forget 10-day 'what he did
with a hero or heroine yesterday. To
help his memory he at first noted down
briefly in copy books what happened to
'his men and women, but finding that
often he could not read his own writ-_
- ing he invented a new system.
He pro-
cured little leaden figures, on which he
gummed the names of lliS'cllZIl'ilclL‘l‘S as
they were born.
I
When he was at.
Supposing there were 5
» threestories running, there were three
sets of figures in‘ different drawers.
When a characten was settled off the
little man or woman in lead was taken
away from its companion and laid
aside. ' ‘ _
one day when Ponson du Terrail ivas
all behind in his work he set himself to
his task without examining the slain.
l’lis bad memory led him into a terribLe
blunder. He had forgotten that he had
killed llocambole—the still famous
liocainbole—in the previous feuilleton,
and to' the great surprise of the reader
he made him talk again as if nothing
out of the common had bei'allen him.
This resuscitation of liocam bole is one
of the most curious things in the his-
tory of the romans-feuilleton.
Relics of Indian Days.
The skeleton of-an lndiau warrior at
least six feet six inches tall was found
in Muscongus, Me" a few days ago by
two men who were digging a cellar.
The body had been buried in a sitting
posture, facing east. and about it were
found iron implements and spear and
arrow heads, while around the arm
bones were copper bands covered with.
curious carvings.
CHEERFUL ' CHATTER.
“I’m going to be president some day,”
said Willis,‘ proudly. ‘fPapa said I
might.”—Harper’s Bazar. ‘
Cook (to mistress)—“Now I’m leav-
in’ of yer, I .may as well tell yer as the
key 0’ the kitchen door fits your store-
room.”—Tit-Bits.
“George—“You would marry the big-
gest fool in the world if he asked you,
wouldn’t you?” Ethel—“Oh, George,
that is so sudden.”—Tit-Bits.
Blooblud (to friend, just back from a
western trip)—“VVell, what is new in
Chicago?” Nicker Becker (sententious-
ly)—“Her old families.”—Puck. .
Agriculturist (to season ticket-
holder in train)—“You don't have no
ticket?” Season ’I‘icket-Holder—“No;
I travel on my good looks.” Agricul-
turist—“Then, probably, you ain’t go-
ing very far.”——I{ousehold Words.
“Who was it,” asked the pretty school-
marm, “who said: ‘Give me liberty or
give me death?’ ” “Patrick'Henry,
nia’am,” replied a small pupil. _“And
which did he get?” “Both, ma’am.”
—Harper’s Bazar.
A Powerful Sermon. —- Patrick-—
"‘Phwy didn’t ye go to church, sure?”
lridget—“Oi had other things to do’.”
Patrick—“If yez had gone and heard
thot sermon on ‘Absenteeism‘ ye would
have been ashamed of y’self fur not be-
in’ there.”—N. Y. Weekly.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Texas has 30,660,772 acres of unim-
proved land. .
Hollow steel spheres are in use in
Sweden, for billiard balls.
The culture of silk promises to be an
important industry in Oregon.
A rubber horseshoe, for .use on icy
pavements, is becoming quite popular.
It is said that salmon, pike and gold
fish, are the only fish that ever sleep.
Only one-fifth of the boys of India-go
to school, and only one-fifteenth of the
girls.
Little alligators are admired as draw-
ing-room pets in some-of the fashiona-
ble houses of Paris.
A shark recently caught near Annap-
olis, Md., had in its stomach one leg of a
pair of trousers.
The cathedral of Antwerp has a mu-
sical combination of 34 bells. The larg-
est is seven feet wide and eight feet
high.
A Philadelphia barber displays up-
to-date enterprise. He has issued a
fashion plate" showing several styles of
.fall and wintciziwhiskers.
A pot that cannot boil over has been
invented by a Berlin machinist. It has
a perforated rim, through which the
overflowing fluid returns to the pot.
An old law prevails with regard to
the picture in the Louvre, Paris. No
painting is permitted to adorn its walls
until the artist shall have been dead ten
years.
THE 'WORLD OF TRADE.
Chicago is the center of the windmill
industry of the country—real wind—
mills. p
“Carosine, eight cents per gallon”
is a sign on aVVest side store in Chicago
where some mysterious commodity is
- for sale.
Celluloid is being used for eyelets in
shoes instead of Japanned brass. The
celluloid is dyed in the wool, so to
speak, while the base metal soon shows
through the black with which itis mere-
ly painted.
The builders of depots and otherlarge
blocks for the convenience of the pub-
lic are having more regard for harmony
in decoration than they used to have.
since 'the people have become educated
up to it by the world’s fair?
A big glass jobber says that whiting
is rubbed over the plate glass windows
of buildings under construction to pre-
vent workmen from running a scant-
ling through the sheet of transparent
glass. When it is opaque he can see it
and avoid it. The whiting is left on
only so long as necessary for protec-
tion, as it injures the polish. Sometimes
soap is used to render the glass opaque.
T0 .
Remove
That Tired
Feeling, Take
“NY VVORLD’S rAIR
,, Sarsapari Ila
Over Half a Century
M Why Not
’J’ll‘Lie
.L‘- T: ‘ fi
,5 A...“ or": >
Cfili liic‘. Littler?
._._w- a...
AYER’S PILEEJi/ire Headache.
. BRIDCEPORT,
was
3° ”9 Read
COMPANY.
' EASTER DISPLAYS
IN
. EVERY DEPARTMENT.
The whole store one big'
bower of brightness. Palms,
flowers and birds everywhere.
Pleasing to sight and hearing.
Tuesday, Wednesday and
Thursday will be gala days in
trade circles; good buying
with happy surroundings—
low prices with big values.
Days preceding Easter that
we have turned into Annual
Festival Times.
Everybody is
EVERYBODY.
\Vlii te Skirgclioicest sorts,
I . 0
limited-
in muslin, cambric and lawn,-
from 50 cents to $8.00. One
in particular, an umbrella
shape six yards around, for
$1.00, that we think is the
very pick of all the bargains
in this line. But maybe
you’ll see others that you
like better, there’s so many.
Infants’ prettylitlle duds
for Easter, at most any price.
Pu if boxes, satin shoes, cream
silk' caps, nice little reefers
and white cashmere sncques,
hand embroidered. Things
that will make the little pets
throw up their hands and
exclaiin ‘ oc-a-rloo ’ tho vel‘y
moment; they .v lhem. It’s
Easter for balms as well as
growwioik. - '
'5 —_
Ladies’ Shirt VVaists, at
all prices. 'i‘hose that appear
to give the great-est amount of
satisfaction in the long ‘run,
are the ‘3donarch’——a little
more costly perhaps, but
they wear better.
The Dress Goods section is
showing something grand in
Broclie Novelties, 50-iii. wide,
specially adapted for the Nor-
folk jacket and skirt, which,
combined with a. silk waist,
will make a delightfully
jaunty sp 'iug costume.
Then there’s . Oriental
dress novelties—P e 1' si 3. n
weaves, colorin gs and pat-
terns—With Persian goodness
to increase their popularity.
Anything you havea. mind
to ask for these days.
-T HE EvnNi-‘N G
l
I
Hiiilgu’s WEDDING.
Everything in Rilruliness For. the Flip-
, tials Next Monday.
GHILDREL? mur- BE THERE.
That Fact, However, Does Not Seem to
Worry the Pix-President Greatly—Ev-
cry Ear-Cabinet lifember Except
“’anamaker to Be Present.
NEW Your, April 4.—Neither Russell
B. Harrison nor his sister, Mrs. McKee,
will attend the marriage of their father to
Mrs. Mary Lord Dimmick on Monday
next. They are still unrelenting in their
opposition to the union, and no member
of the‘Russell Harrison or McKee fam-
ilies will take any part in the ceremony.
It is said that invitations have been ex-
tended to Russell Harrison and his sister,
but they propose to ignore them.
General Harrison. however, is not al--
lowing the hostility of his children to
their prospective stepmother to worry'him.
With almost the delight and enthusiasm
of a youthful lover the tax-president is de-
voting himself to the final preparations
for the wedding and to paying to Mrs.
Dimmick those-little attentions which a
woman so much enjoys from a lover,
young or old.
Almost every detail of Monday’s cere-
mony had been settled today. It was
learned that Daniel Ransdell of Iridium
apolis, who is now at the Fifth Avenue
hotel, will be one of the two ushers of the
ex-president. The other attendant of the
bridegroom. it is understood, will be Gen-
eral Frank Reader of Enston.
General Benjamin F. Tracy. secretary
of the navy in the Harrison administra-
tion, will be the best man. General
Tracy is taking the liveliest interest in
the Wedding of his former chief.
Before the ceremony on Monday there
will be a meeting of the Harrison cabinet,
with Cupid in the chair. for all the form-
er advisers of the ex-presldent have been
invited to the wedding, and with one ex-
ception will attend.
The single exception will be ex-Posti
master GeneralWanamaker, who is absent
in Europe.
The Time and Place.
Much secrecy is observed regarding the
hour for the ceremony at St. Thomas’
church, but it is said that the exact time
fixed on is 4:30 p. m. '
Mrs. Dimmick will carry a cluster of
white lilacs, tied with a broad White rib«
bon. Her old time friend, Mrs. Gray of
709 Fifth avenue, who has returned from
Florida to assist in the wedding prepara-
tions, will attend her. Lieutenant .T. F.
Parker, U. S. A., who is married to Mrs.
Dimmick’s sister, will give the bride elect
away. . ‘ '
The church will be handsomely decorat-
ed with azaleas, White roses and ascension
lilies. Lilies tied with garlands of bride
roses and ribbons will hide the altar rail,
and bunches of lilies will be tied at the
end of each pew. ‘
The music, simple in character, will be
provided by George William Warren, or-
ganist of St. Thomas’ church.
It is expected that a large crowd will
gather at the church. but only those hav—
ing cards of invitation will be admitted.
A very small and select number will wit-
ness the ceremony.
Among those invited, besides the mem-
bers of the Harrison cabinet, are Mr. and
Mrs. Andrew C. Zabriskie, Mr. and Mrs.
hunter and Mrs. Parker. wife of Lien-
tenant Parker.
After the ceremony Mrs. Harrison will,
it. is said, drive to Mrs. Gray’s residence,
den a traveling costume, and a little lat-
er start with her husband for Indianapolis.
No reception, it is now said, will follow
. the ceremony.
Train ‘W’rcckers Foiled.
KANSAS Ci'i‘v. April 4.—-An attempt
was made to wreck a Chicago and Alton
passenger train. Just out of Grain valley
the engineer saw an obstruction. He
stopped his train. but not in time to avoid
the derailing of his locomotive. A pile of
ties had been laid across the track and the
rails loosened. The stopping of thqtrain
quickly was all, that prevented a serious
accident.
A Post Canteen Closed.
FORT ROBINSON, Neb.. April 4.—The
complaint of Crawford citizens that the
government has no right to sell liquor
Without state restrictions at the fort has
resulted in the post canteen being closed,
pending advices from the secretary of war.
This is considered singular, since the gov-
ernment has complete authority on all
United States lands in Nebraska.
Russia’s Strategy.
LONDON. April 4.——A dispatch from Bu-
charest says, “The papers here announce
the conclusion of a military convention
between Russia and Bulgaria, under
which, in the event of war, Bulgaria
would cede to Russia Varna, on the Black
sea, and Burghas, in eastern Roumelia,
and also on the Black sea, and would con-
centrate an army at Shumla.”
Gold lVIines Shin; Dovgii.
VICTOR, Colo., April 4.—-Work at all of
the mines in the Cripple .Creek district
owned byW. S. Stratton has been stop-
~ ped. When asked his‘reason. Mr. Stratton
said freight and smelter charges on his
ores had been exorbitant. and he would
produce no more until he could complete
the large reduction plant which he is
building.
Defaulter Caught Abroad.
CHICAGO, April 4.—News has been re
ceived of-the arrest in Southampton, Eng-
land, cf Matt Adams. the alleged default-
ing district clerk of Denver. Adams, itfls
charged. fled from Denver in November
last with about $75,000. He was a prom—
inent Mason and Odd Fellow and well
known Grand Army man.
Her Clothing Caught Fire.
NEW YORK, April 4.—Sarah Gallagher,
.4 years old. who lives with her parents at
19 Mangin street, was severely burned
about the body today by her clothing com-
ing in contact with the stove. She was re-
moved to Gouverneu‘r hospital in a critical
condition. '
H. C. Bunner Coming Home.
SAN FRANCISCO, April 4.—H. C. Bun-
ner, editor of Puck, left for New.York in
company with his wife and cousin. Mr.
Bunner came to California for his health.
He is a very sick man and his physician
thought it best for him to be taken home.
Both Nearly Sufi‘ocated. .
NEW YORK, April 4.—Dora Gredcrf. 35'
- years old,‘and Morris Gredorf, 14 years
almost ,- sufiocatcd today by
old, were .
216 East One
escaping gas at their home,
Hundred and Second street.
——Advertlse in.;ihe GAZETTE.
l
l
l
l
WRITE
'riiE REASON WHY.» -
Every Why Has a Wherefore and
"Tie Wéll to Look for itat Times.
In these days people want to know
the whys and wherefores.
The 19th century man is a natural
skeptic. ' '
The why and wherefore of such is
plain.
He reads statements of supposed facts.
He is told that. every ailment of man-
kind can be cured. -.
He has an ailment and tries some pan.
30.9“.
It fails; he tries another with the
same result.
Such experiments make him look
askauce at future claims.
Often the fault is his, but he don’t
see why. ..
He may have a backache or perhapsf
a lame or weak back.
. He used plaster or liniments, they re-
lieved him for a time, but failed to
cure the trouble.
This is his fault; the why is that he
did not know the wherefore of his
aches.
Had he know: that the kidneys were”
the cause, -
That backache generally means kid-
ney ache.
'l but the kidneys muit filter
blood constantly ? -
(be
That failure to do so immediately ef- j
feats the back.
That backache is only the first step 1
toward many kidney disorders:
Urinary troubles follow.
detention of urine.
Excessive urine.
Diabijter—Bright’s disease.
Donn s Kidney Pills are a specific for
all kidney complaints. '
Plenty of Norwalk proof of this.
Mr. G. S. Partric, Notary Public,
No. 127 Main St. says. ‘ Mv wife got a
box of Doan’s Kidney Pills at Hale’s
drugstore, for a severe backache she
was suffering from. She found quick
relief and she thinks Doan’s Kidnev
Pills are a good thing.” -
For sale by all dealers- Price 50
cents per box, orrix boxes for $2 50
Sent by mail on receipt of price, l'v
Foster—Milburn 00., Buffalo, N. Y.
Sole agents for the United states.
Put an end to misery. Dunn‘s Oinl-
ment'wdl cure the Worst case of Itch-
ing Piles there ever was, and do it. al-
most instantly. YearsOf suffering JP-
Iieved in a Giflgle night. Get Dean’s
Ointment from your dealer.
J. D. Jennings.
UNDERTAKFR
4 Knight street. opposite
Street Bailwm Depot
NIGHTBELL ATOFFIOE'
DAVID . W. RAYMOND
Funeral lirectur and Emhalmer.
395 Washington Sirietwonih Neiualk
Residence. Manackemo Hotel.
in _
Department. .
A ‘ 3
wow :7
TO
THE
WISE
Merchants, Manmaciur-
crs, Lodges and Societies
‘will consult their 0th micr-
csts by giving us a call.
work to do, write to us.
I, Becaus
e nonebui first-class workmen
are employed.
Because an experience 9f forty years
counts.
5
Runs
Why
Schleig‘h’ei’s
.wwur-r -
Md.
I W.
Because for years we have given
special attention ’to designing im-
proved features Which none but our
pianos have.
Because they are low in price and
high in artistic beauty.
so, it’s
on: _
PIMIllS
TAKEN
III
EXGIIIIIIG E.
T0
us.
Because “hen Schleicher says it’s
SO.
\
Factory,
piano 81'.
f
REM EM BER—If you have.
Main Office I
, ' Stamford, I,
i by;
The GAZETTE 7 .
Norwalk Chronicler