, \“ “-PUNGENT PARAGRAPHs. -—W atts—“Do you _think a man can be a Christian on a dollar a day ?” Potts—- “I don’t see how he can afford to be any- ihing else.”—Indianapolis Journal. ——Wallace—“How did you feel the first time you got into a barber’s chair for a shave ?” Ferry—“To tell the truth about it, I felt like a bare-faced fraud.”—Cincinnati Enquirer. —With a Comma or Without.— “Wasn’t he put out when you told him he couldn’t have a kiss?” “Oh, no! He just took it as a matter of course.” “Ah! he took it, as a matter of course. did he. 9” ——lIe (confidently)—“By Jove! I can tell y ou, the woman who could make a fool 0’ me isn’t living.” She—“Poor thing! What a satisfacton it must be to you that she so thoroughly accom- plished her mission before she died! ”—- 3\'er Budget. I ——“So you’ve taken to cycling at last, have you?” \“How did you find that out ?” “I saw. you on your wheel yes- terday.” “By Jove! I’m glad to hear that. All the rest of my friends hap- pened to see me whenI was oif.”—Rich- mond Dispatch. ———Great New York Editor—“What does this mean ? Why was my editorial on the. decadence of journalism left over?” Trembling Assistant—“Please, sir, so much room was taken up by the ‘How to Eat Corned Beef llash’ syru- posium.”—Cincinnati Enquirer. -——A scientific writer put out flaming handbills, headed “Know Thyself.” A wag soon called on the lecturer and told him he was inducing a great many peo- ple to form acquaintances of a verylov.‘ order. The lecturer looked at the wag a moment had said: -“l\ly friend, you are right; but it never occurred to me until 1 saw you.” —Teacher—“Polly, dear, suppose I were to shoot at a tree with five birds on it and killed three, how many would be left?” .l’olly (aged Sim—"Three, please.” Teacher—“No; two would be left.” Polly — “No, there wouldn’t. The three shot would be left, and the other two would be flied away.”—Phil- adelphia American. —-“There is some excuse,” .said the police judge, “for a man becoming exas~ perated by the strains of a hand organ, but to rush out and attack the musician with an ax is carrying things with a little too high a hand.” “I know it is, judge,” pleaded the man who had never .' LCll in a police court before, “but when .1 blame (Iago comes and stops 1]) front of the house jist after aman has had an argument with his wife about whether he gits an overcoat or her a cloak and begins playin’ ‘Home, Sweet Home,’ it is more than flesh an' blood kinst-and ! ” ——lndianapolis Journal. Oneida Lake’s Many Names. Someone with a taste for historic re- search has been compiling a list of ap- pellations by which Oneida lake, as it is now kn0VV‘n,'has in the past been dis— iinguished. The 01 or. d: -' a 11: e of In- dians called it Seiig;1'_‘a. sq ing that it w" s stiined with blue and VV hitc lim s -—an in terpr ctation that can bes t be ap- preciated from a commanding position on one of the sun ounding hills. Jesuits ‘ knew it as Lac Tee 1troguen des On- neionts, while Charlesoix called it Kanoaloka, and Maclieu termed it On- idahogo. In 1667 Greenhalgh christened it Tsisoqui, and on an old map in the sec- retary of state’s office it is designated as 'Cahunghage. A Natural Bridge Pier; One of the oddest bridge “bents,” or piers, in this country is to be found in Sonoma county, Cal. Two large red- wood trees growing side by side sup- port the timbers and rails of a bridge which crosses a small ravine or creek at a place where the roadbed is 75 feet. above the water. Californians refer to - it as “the only natural wooden bridge in the world.” WELL-KNOWN PEOPLE. , Mrs. Robert Louis Stevenson has sailed from San Francisco for her home in Samoa. Two of Mr. Edison’s children are named “Dot” and “Dash,” after the fa- miliar characters of the Morse alphabet. Col. Bradley, governor-elect of Ken- tucky, is -a man of gigantic stature, an able lawyer and an éloquent speaker. George Vanderbilt intends to make Biltmore, his splendid place. in North Carolina, a. Meccafor all those who are seriously interested in the study of for- estry, scientific farming and horticul- ture. The South American Indians general- ly use some flavoring for cocoa, the 'fa- vorite for this purpose being the vanilla bean. " The Aztecs had the art of making chocolate into a froth so thick that \.when' cold it could be eaten with a spoon ' as a solid. I .- the edge. WRITERS I AND BQOKS. Oscar Wilde’s creditors are. said to re- ceive about $100 a. day as the income. from. his works. William/Black, the novel writer, is also a portrait- )aintcr, an enthusiastic botanist and an all-round sportsman. Queen Margherita of Italy is about to publish her experiences as an Alpine climber, illustrated with her ow n pencil sketches. The general consensus of opinion seems to be that Rudyard Kipling is a genius in spite of. the fact that he smokes cigarettes. Mr. Walter II. Page, until recently the editor of the Forum, has made an edit- orial engagement with Messrs. Hough- ton, Milliin & Company » Harperizing is taking the place of b owdler' izing, as a term for expurgating editions in England. The way in which the text of Thomas Hardy’ s novels has been treated in the Magazine gave rise to the w 0rd. Sar I’eladan, the head of the “Rose Cr oix " and writer of an endless series of m vstical novels, having found a rich VVidOVV who will marry him, has shorn his long locks and given up his eccen- ‘ll icitics. - Kant’v s manuscripts, belonging to the University of Dorpat. have been placed by the Russian gOV'ei‘11n1r‘“+ at the dis— posal of the. Ilerlin Acmlcmy of Sci: cnces, which is preparing“ to issue a complete edition of the philosopher’s works.' A DINNE ’3 SEASONING. The common black pepper berry grows on a climbing vine which attains a length of from 12 to 20 feet. The cardamon seeds of commerce ‘come from India, Java, Ceylon and many tropical islands of the east. Cinnamon is raised extensively not only in Ceylon, but in many parts of India, in Siam, Java and Sumatra. In India and niany eastern countries. down to the present century, tribute was frequently paid in pepper. A nutmeg tree of the largest size will produce no more than five pounds of nutmegs and one to two pounds of mace at a crop. Caraway seeds are used in flavoring confectionery,. and as a flavor for liq— uors, bread, cakes and other articles of . food. There were imported into this coun- try in the year 1804 $2,252,553 worth of spices, all of which were consumed in our food. ABOUT PAPER. Many of the paper-making machines of the present day are over 100 feetlong, and require a building to themselves. It is stated by some. authorities that the wood of the American poplar makes the best variety of wood paper. Too large. a. percentage of clay used in the manufacture of paper not oan increases the weight, but renders the paper Vv eak and liable to be easilV tor n. The Chinese rice paper is madef irom the straw of the rice plant. By using the more delicate parts of the straw a fine fabric has been manufactured. Esparto grass is said to make a better paper than straw. The product is much tougher and capable of bearing a much greater strain without tearing. The first paper made in western Eu- rope was manufactured in Spain in 711. It is said that the process came from the .east, being brought into Spain by the Moors. CRIMES AND CRIMINALS. Milwaukee has just adopted the Ber- iillon system of measuring criminals. There were 11,890 persons in penal servitude in Great Britain and Austra- lia in 1870 and only 4,345 in 1895. , During their recent round-up cattle-_ men in the vicinity of Lander, “’yo.. discovered that $30, 000 w 01th of cat- tle he Ve been stolen during the spring and summer. InV estigation prOV ed that the stock had been driven into Montana and the brands altered. Dr. Austin Flint, a New York crim- inologist, points out as an indication of the extreme rarity of possibly un- just cbnvictions that “in the examina- tions of nearly 150 convict witnesses in the late investigation of the Elmira reformatory not more than one or two hesitated to admit their guilt.” FASHION’S FANCIES. A stylish hat is low-crowned, narrow- brimmed and has aroll of VelVet around The trimming is of pompous of curled ostrich tips, and a scarf ol' velvet laid loosely over the crown and fastened with gold pins. A very elegant cape of figured velvet has a. collar of Alaska sable. ,This col- lar stands high around the'throat, is curved around at the sides and back to the shoulder points and has tabs 'in front falling two-thirds the length of the cape. A stylish cape is of rich silk in Per~ sian colors. It is trimmed with ruch— ings made of two-inch wide double~ faced satin ribbon. The edge of the rib- bon is gathered on a draw string and pulled up tight. The fullness is then adjusted so as to form a ruche. . Sick ' 0r Bilious Headache Cured by Taking, A Cathartic Pius Awarded Medal and Diploma At World’s Fair. ' Ask your Druggist for A'yer‘s Saraaparilla. BRIDGEPORT. THE _ . D. 'M. Read company. DAINTY DESIGNS IN SILKS AND DRESS GOODS. Are brightening what would otherwise be the ‘blue month’ of the year; with a cheering disregard for the peculiarities of March weather. Spring fashions have blossomed in earnest. Newest thoughts, latest styles and. most bpopular col- 01s for youthful tastes and inationly judgment all find their ideal at our counters; real interests which concern the pleasure and profit of every woman who appreciates the satisfaction of buying the best and prettiest for the least money. ’ 0 ur assortments have never been excelled. The proof of value is in the wearing. Carpets are claim- 111g Ill?) attention of spring housecleaners—cai pets 0 i l (loths, linoleums and mat- tings; with plenty of proof taint the"yie the best and heapest. Made and laid the best, quickest and cheapest. It is next 'door to an im- p018 sibility for us to describe lthe new varieties in Lace Curtains this season—latest, egolusive and dainty effects. 1e1e axe just a few: Fish Net, ruffled edge, $2.00 a Pail. Novelty Net, full lace edge, $2. 50. Bobi— net Lace, lace edge, $3. 75—— seli'rutlleand lace edge, $4. 50 ——1utfle<_l edg e and inseition, ip5.< (JO—self iufi‘ie, cluny edge, $7.50—plain edge and inser- tion, $5.50. teal Saxony Brussels, $5.00 a Pair. Irish Pomt, white and corn, $4.50 to $10.00; wide range of styles. Swiss Tambour, $3.00 to $10.00 a Pair. Nottingham, 200 different styles, in the in 1st beautiful effects—ma- Lli‘ds Vve11Ve,Iish net styles, guinule and duchess novel- ties with pearl edge—from $11.00 €03.55. 00. Spring Jackets and Sepa- rule Sk' 11‘ ts—some of the jack ets 51. u ininjrllv lined. All of them ,9th eel looking outfits“ WATER THAT EXPLODED. A Bartender’s Experience Under Fire of a E‘usiiladc of Seltzer. ‘ “Do you know,” said Billy Clark, of ’ the Grand hotel, to a CinciLnati Times-. Star reporter, as a big seltzer bottle fizzed and two or three men on the out- side elevated a foot each on the railing and looked on, “that these seltzer water bottles will explode easily?” And the three men each put a foot down on the floor and moved slightly away. “Sometimes just the temperature of the hand will do it, the warm hand, placed against it while bringing it from a cold room, or sometimes while lifting it one will strike it against the counter and it will explode and the metal top will be driven with great force by the gas. One time, while at the Gibson, I refused to give a. man a drink. He took it very much to heart and went a ray vowing he would get eVen with me. I had turned about as he went out and had my back to him. Suddenly there came a sound like a pistol shot. ,I tried to turn around and couldn’t, and I. was sure the man had carried his threat into effect and. had shot me. Directly following that explosion came another and another, and there was a rapid suc- cession of explosions. Then I knew the man had opened a regular fusilladc on me, and yet I was riveted to the spot. I could not stir. I thought I had been paralyzed by a bullet. Come to find out. one of these seltzer water bottles in the far end of the counter had exploded and the concussion had Siam C. the others, until all had 0.1 plot“; WK: *: :2: t V. cm on that shelf. And the m. n 1. ad gone away and I‘ never saw him again. But I never will forget my experience of that night, when I was sure I had been shot.” WIDOWS TAKE TO PARROTS. Polly Is a. Great Favorite with the Lone Women. Parrots have never been suspected of having a mission in life but one has been discovered for them in Brooklyn. An attendant in a shop where animals and birds are the stockin trade was asked if all the pa1 rots that tall: (id VV ci e trained by sailors, say s the .\ew '1 ork VVorid. “N Ct at all,” he said. “If you should come in here during the week follow- ing the arrival of a. cargo of parrots you would .soon find out that there are a lot of women in New York who make . it almost a profession to train parrots. The best customers we have, however, are Brooklyn widows. There is one woman who comes in after almost every cargo we receive and buys at least one or two parrots, sometimes more, which she intends to teach to talk. The women who do that are mostly widows. HowdoIknow. Why, they tell us so. And why do you sup- pose they want the parrots? It’s for company, they say. They say they are lonely and the parrots are company, because after they talk to them enough the parrot talks back. “That is VV hy VV 1d0VVs like parrots better than canaries, they say. One in Brooklyn keeps a little notion store and sells candies. The children see the parrot there and the parrot is speedily sold and taken away as soon as it can say two or three things. Then the widow's loneliness comes over her agai 11 and she comes in search of another pupil in feathers. She gets three times as muchoas she paid for the bird and if it learns rapidly and has quite anum- ber of words or sings a song she gets even more.” So after all even Polly has a miss1on. TOLD BY THE THUMBS. An Alleged .Indication of Nervous De- rangement That Is Observed Commonly. “When I went to a nerve specialist first,” said a man who was once an in- valid, “he told me that one way to judge of the condition of a person’s nerves was to watch his thumbs. Ever since that time I have found the greatest fascination in looking at people’s thumbs. The doctor said that.if they moved involuntarily outward it was a sign that the nerves of that man or woman were not in the best condition. _1 find myself now sweeping the line that sits opposite me in a car, and if that doctor’s test is a good one there is a. surprising number of people in his town whose nerves need looking after. There are few among the women who do not involuntarily move the thumbs out- ward at intervals of every ‘1" cw minutes, and when your attention has once been attracted to it the process of watching their gloved hands grows very interest- ing. I have found the habit much less frequent among men; but take the av- erage number of women in a cable car and it will be a surprise to you to see how many of them indulge unconsciou s- ly in this little habit. I only hope it does not mean anything as serious as it might indicate if that nerve special- ist’s diagnosis was a good one.” The Snake Had the Best of It. . A Quaker driving a single horse chaise up a narrow lane happened to meet a young man who was also in a sillgle horse chaise. There was not room enough for them to‘pass each other, unless one of them would back his carriage, which both refused. “I’ll not make way for you, ” said the young fellow, with an oath. “I think I am olde1 than thou art,” said the Quaker, “and therefore have a right to expect thee to make way for me.’ “I won’t,” resumed the first. He then pulled out a newspaper and began to read, as he sat still' in his chaise. The Quaker, ob-' serving him, pulled out a pipe and’some tobacco from his pocket, lighted his Pipe, and sat and puffed away 'very comfortably. “Friend,” said he, “when thou hast read that paper I should be glad if thou wouldst lend it to me.” The young man gave up the contest. ——]510bbs~—“What nonsense it is for. the newspapers, in their accounts of weddings, to describe the bride being led to the altar.” Slobbs—“How so?” Blobbs—“Well, most girls, could find their way in the dark.”—-Philadelphia Record. ' ' on Z ET TE 5 A SAILOR’S sronr. Not The Provérblal Sauces Yarn. An Old Salt Speaksln Norwalk. The life of a sailor has many ups and downs. The hardships of the man who Hails the briny deep are not appreciated by the land lubbers who know not what iris to struggle with the elements to keep above water, it takes brawn and muscle and good constitutions, to stand it. While men, even the hardiest when they return from nautical life find the tXpUHHe has left them With a legacy. as a constant reminder of the past. And often when a. Jolly Jack Tar is relating an experience the back that has carried him through it all is burdened with a fur heavier burden. Our representative had a pleasant chat the other day with just such a. man. A sailor for thirty years. Thoa. Cooney by name, a Norwalk citizen residing at No. 73 haibor Ave. he has also held the position of dockmaster for ten years and to add to the difficulties he has had to contend With, he fell from a. tree when a boy striking a fence. This accident left him will] back trouble and the life on the water with its hardships added their share until he found backache Was- male or less a steady thing, coming on from time to time. Like most people, he did not understand that it came from the kid - neys, bntreadmg that Dean’s Kidne_r Pills cmed backache he got a Lox at Hale’s drug store and was surprised to find how quickly they acted. Why, says Mr. Oooney, they simply email me and you may be sure I ban: a good word for Dean’s Kidney Pills they have done such good work for me. I shall be glad to tell anyone about it who wishes to know. .. Its like a case of mistaken identity. Mr. Cooney did not realize that It was kidney ache, and that his kidn: Vs were injured, not his back. That exposure had simply increased the kidnev com- plications. It‘ 3 easy for Doan’ B Kidney Pills to cure. such cases. For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents or mailed by Foster- Milburu 00., Buffalo, N. Y. sole agents for the U. S. It your (gender tells you that seme- thing else is“ just as aim ’and Donh’ a Ointment- f01 dives, Pin “’Ulmb, Itch- ing l’iler, or othei itchiness“ Ilhe skin, tell him you want the onglnul. It is safe; never'failing. J. D. J ennings. UNDER FAKI IV 4 Knight street. opposite Street Bailwm Depot NIGHTBELL ATOFFJCE Piano Lessons. “BS. GEORGE W. BRADLEY (daughter of the late Wm.“ 1.. Nash.) Hives efiwt rt and tisfactmvinsiructions on the Pinnv at her me No.19?! main P'reet DAVID .W. RAYMOND 1113111111111 taller Emhalmsr ”PM: 2111““ flax. 392 II asliii gum Sir: (-1 'Muthl‘ Residence. Mahackcmo Hotel. «.1 VV .111. w A The GAZETTE JOB PRINTING _ ”—— Department. won TO THE WISE - Merchants, Mauulactun ers, I.-dges and Societies will consult their own mm- ests by giving us a call. REBI EIIIBEIS~If yUu ha v u work to do, write-to us. Slllllllllllllll & SNS 1-1 IGI—I GB ADE 'GBAND AN D UPRIGHT 35.". 3319 The Finest Toned and Moleur- . able PlIIIIO, at the LOWEST POSSIBLE PIIIOE. menu: Canisaveiovrn 25 ‘ PEII cm.- by Pufchasing Direct From Our Factory. - ' Old Pianps Taken in Exchange. I Tuning and Repairing. Telephone-9242. EOVER FORTY YEARS PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE NEWFACTORY AND WAREROOM, 125 and l27 Pacific Street. . STAMFORD. CONNECTICUT
Norwalk Chronicler