WEDNESDAY, JULY 11, 1923.
.—
CAFPY
' By Peter B. Kyne
in which he conVin
much food and too
\'.‘
szild
ill-C young friend. J. Augutv
Cappy Ricks to
U: .
n W... Iii-villi, of the “est
J -‘ net Trading company. as
, ., _;. it'll oyvr their cigars at
21 Table of the Ililgu-watcr
if”.
you And you excuse your mendacitv
upon the ground that you cannot at-
tend to business and be a social lion
Gus. if your wife wasn't a loving. for-
l'lving and self-sacrificing woman.
she'd divorce you. make you pay her
a lot of alimony and live happy rver
after. You're a big bum!"
“You're another.” growled Mr. Re-
dell.
"I'm not. I'm a mu come. but at
no time of my life was I as big a bum
as you. Look at met I'm seventy-sit
years old and as full of ginger and go
as a runaway horse. “'hy'.’ Because
even if I did spend a lot of time at
my office I managed to accomplish
twice as much work as you do in half
the time. How? BY LETTING
GEORGE DO IT. You're the sort of
executive who. not satisfied with tell—
ing a subordinate what to «lo. must
ees J. Agustus Redell that worry, too
little play brings ruin to business men.
man.
“Take old man-Ferguson. my attor-
ney. As an attorney. the world has
never heard of old man Ferguson. He
wasn't—and isn't—that kind of an
attorney. However. he isn't a dub—-
otherwise he wouldn't be my attor-
ney. He's just safe. sane and conscr-
vatlve. As a lawyer. old man Fergu-
son's great ambition was to know as
few judges as possible. He hated and
{cared them; he had no respect for
their legal ability or their sense of
equity. so he would fight like a bear-
cat to keep a client from going in
court. As a result he didn‘t have
many clients and nobody ever heard
of him through the papers: Mrs. Fer-
guson did her own housework and'
old Ferguson. while still a young
man. was never the glass of fashion
tell him how. when and where to do
it and then watch him to see that ii-
lvginning to 'ook like
of a long. cold. ramv
m}: the matter with you:
i
t
Mr.“
1. - :ii
\‘C.
. k I until a \ai‘ation."
.itisur-ri lily sutliy'.
. tlnn. you young idiot." Cap.
1 ~ll:~‘;llSYVill)‘, "why don't you
- I
;wt Mr. Redell pro-
lay."
. .ln't iLiiuiv you were paralyzed.
. z-vt. lint bizsinr‘ss—"
iliokw again. ch'.‘ \Vcll. l’li
. i:..- lllt"ilt‘j.’ to take Mrs. lie-
tni‘ i'llllllltn some place so
:.i brimnvss illlll (won a wire-
.- » l...‘ “in”: r-nch you. lleat it.
.«l 1?,"
,; ' too Ill.lil)' irons in the fire.
-' 'i ill l-urn. Forgot them. Gus.
.i: ll t‘llllll you cash in for to-
i: you hill to?"
.. . about a million and a half. in
1..
lI .il.
i.-i iv-izlrl net four per cent. on
t’ numnvl dollars a year.
., ll dollars a month-and
~ l3~l ,\'t iuiiv ytiirs old. Cash
:i. l‘vkill. it “lllle the going is
'l-l die if I dul. llctter to wearl
' it: rust waif"
ll Ill" soon though. anyhow.
,ml'rn alii-uvly‘ digging your
.‘..\0. l~‘nr breakfast you eat
.I satin-fruit or a dish of berries
--.ini; you “lid this down with
i -. i“ and lay u. stratum of ham
.4; (l\"r that. Then you dilute_
\ iu-lc surry‘ mess with a couplei
rim es of toast and two cups of
w and dish thWn to the office.
is done. I leave detail men to attend
to details. All I require is the right
result.
i have all I can do to attend
to my particular Joli without bother-t
ing about the jobs of my subordin-'
ates!”
Fail!
lei-ii
OU'RE the most
old nuisance
world." Redell
“You've got your
on every important detail of the
Ricks Lumber & Logging company:
and the Blue Star Navigation com-
pany. You like to brag about having!
retired. but you'll nexir retire “Hill
the day your friends start walking~
slow behind you. keeping time iol
some music that you'll nevi-r hear." l
in all
challenged
ery important detail. but—it
lightly and I remove it
thing goes wrong . with that detail
Even then I lift my finger long
enough to play eighiern holes of goli
three times a week. I spent the en».
tire month of September fishing for
halfopound steelheacl on Eel riier and
on Sunday afternoons I like to motor
until somi-
eyes in line shooting five six
frames of clay pigeons. 1
Europe evtry two years and on the
years when I do not. I go somewhere
just as good. And I don‘t make
garbage dump of my alimentary can-r
al.”
"Nothing but pure cussedncss keep:-
y'ou alive. Cappy."
”You big boobf' (‘appy‘ snarled.
"You don't know the first thing abmit'
how to be happy. You have forgot-
or
finger.
“You bet I have my finger on ev-§
rests,
lf‘erguson play ed golf.
i
i
out to the country club and kenp my,
go to’
I
a!
l
‘He
{him. and since thry'
or the mould of form. He couldn't
afford it. But somebody once told
me he knew admiralty law. and as
you know. Gus. a good admiralty
lawyer is as hard to locate as a suc-
cessor to the pope. I hired him to do
a job for me and he had to tight me;
lti month to keep me from Suing. Fin-5
interfering'
this,
ally he wore me out and I compro-
mised the case. A month later Iiuvl-
RICKS
0
hence too soon. But I do want to
live long enough to stand beside old
man Ferguson's grave and laugh at
him. You will remember that old
man Ferguson was never a conspicu-
ous financial success. His fees were
always too moderate. But what he did
do. however. was to gain the absolute
confidence and affection of a lot of
millionaires like you. Gus—and when‘
they died between forty—five and fifty-
five from over-eating. over-work and
lack of exercise. it was discovered
when their wills were opened that
old man Ferguson was either ap-
pointed attorney for the estate or ex-
ecutor or both. without bonds. Then
the big fees began to roll in. because
they're fixed by law in such cases
and old man Ferguson's modesty
went on a long vacation. Gus. the old
sinner just naturally made a million
dollars by outliving his clients—and
I'm the last of his very old. very rich
clients. and he know's he's in my"
will because he drew the will and hc
wants to shoot a straight limit by“
outliving mo and getting his fingers
on my estate. llc doesn‘t even deny
it. If old man Ferguson was to hear
this minute that Iwas down with
double pneumonia. complicated by"
Bright's disease. and esopthalmic goio
ter and. in addition. had born con-
incr of the lllack I‘iutte Lumber coin-
pany'. had a vase exactly similar to-
lgiirding a. sailing" claim on a steam
schooner; he “cut to court with it
and got lit-kd and sonkcd for the
costs. Naturally I achieved grtat re
spect for old Ferguson and boosted
his stock in the shipping world. and
got him to consult kviiii ni~~ lwl'orc
sending his bills for professional ser
\ices. As a result old man Fergu-
son's wife got (I cook and a maid and
,evory’ year or two oh! Ferguson and
ihis wife went 50nl“\\h"l‘9 and rested.
Anal three alt: rnoons a week old man
And n--
although he
\- I
iitp any Iiinvxhion.
.tuck away :1 light breakfast. Ills din—
ner was a moderate one and all”
dinner he would sit and chat for two
hours or walk around the. block nnu
‘lzi\e his stomach a chance to but out
a home run. The result is that whili-
old man Ferguson nl‘\“‘l‘ got llt‘ll. he
always had enough to get along on—
aftcrvlio mot inc—and
no terrors for him.
So he was IiappyJ
never amassed a long list of oil-‘1
ents. but those that he had swore in
were financial;
heavyweights the quality anti not the:
quantity counted. If'old man l-‘ergu-I
son should eycr be captured by canni-i
.l
'lltl‘
old age hell _
keep my' appoxntment because I‘ve
just died: Gus. my dear boy. how
.\\0llltl you like to make it a three-
\icted of first degree murder and
sentenced to be hangrd next Friday.
Ehe'd Just about die of happiness."
“Well. do you think you'll win this
marathon. Coppy?’l
t)\\' do I know? I only know
1 that I'll never stop trying."
Cuppy' glanced at his watch
“\\'i-ll." he continued.
"it is now two hours since I purtook
of my vegetable soup and dry' toast.
Ycu’re licavy-liddcd and drowsy at
while I'm as spry' and wide-
.mvaku as a road-runner at seyenty-
.ix. You're worth a couple of mil
lions and :.ou’re going back to your
lotiicc to suit-2r. while I'm going out
lto play golf with old man Ferguson
The old seoundrcl is even now sitting
on the \eranvla of the club house.
lookinr: down the road to see if l'iii
coming. and hoping ‘to high heaven
lhr-‘il rrrvix'e :1 telephone missage
‘ roin my- sccrctziry to the ct’t‘ect that
he'll have to excuse me for failing to
lnl‘ly’
home. \\'e‘ll allow you your regular
handicap. plus three strokes. and we'll
l-rt you a new dollar bill and a fix?!-
dollar bill on each hole, double or
.‘iv‘ll‘ way: down you start yourl
ml and lofty thinking. which new
.u a rush of blood to the head i
i. to your rations where it‘s:
ll l. i‘pon iirriizii at the offiCe':
lull o:i' It \rrl-al skirmish or two,
l...ll pylon-clinic Permian Pilfl-(
i.i\e \Vire Luiz Alma
. i ti. in you plunge into mm- ,
vl Hunt-uni: and concentration anti;
Cigars and four vii-v. Ant
twelve-thirty. .\t i .:;
iii-lit into the Hiram:
'li Luncheon. but before .uw
)H'I lflk'} on two cocktails in ii-
ii.” the law and win or lose in
nr inrn'y' dollars shooting (‘l'ilbh‘ i
- i\ likltjilt'nll)‘ the only rclrnutio.
yourself. For luncheon;
w a light soup. a steak!
l‘rcnch fried potatoes. 6.
t “3‘
ymiis.
t
w." illlli'
lit. tori:
2m.
v
I l.ll.““.
ito .irlil lettuce salad and a IIISIII
ir-uim. i‘ollowul by a cup of.
r ; lv ii-k i-m‘r‘ee. Then you smokc l
,i .- :."'I talk shop with even '
..o will talk it with you, often
\i 'l to turn to your office and
t to keep awake until threi
k. bv which time your digestlor
wt l..i2f completed and you be
to .'--l t-l.errful again. although.
i r- l w- that something you ate
ml with you and blame thr'
». unit at breakfast. At six
‘ nu reluctantly close down
I‘ via-k anti with the day register-
mtal loss if you haven't started
Muril‘ ’vd something that means
. 'irim‘t- profit. you 80 home tired
l" ~i~li to a good-looking wife
, .m l-m-n more or less harnessed
-r home and your children all
soul \\ ho now drsires to go forth
.r Lushand for a little social
In. <lie's fed up for that day
tinidrrn and the servants and
m‘inizmii duties as a wife and
" and she wants to go down
to dinner and (12:3: a little. or
‘u 'i show.
\'- lirit hippcns'.’ You arrive. com-
..ninz of a hard. hard day at the
«invl tir- necessity for a good
. uf’s l’l‘fl. You eat a hearty dinner
1th into the hay about eight-
"\' and your wife goes to her
' . m and trie.I to read and finally re-
.3 and weeps a little—and forgives
l
THE N. Y. Gm!-
__.._.
A Study 0! Her l’eculhfluei
t.\'. Y. Sun (2-. Globe)
Tl.“ New York girl ll still I. mys-
vlrsplte ail that has been said and
ii’tr‘n about her. News of Mll- Han-
? Wan continually trickles through to
Outside world. and the national
l .bllc when it hears of her smokins
' 124:“ tics. or beating up a masher. or
. :~« akin; hearts. or spending her last
Mme on milk for a. st‘ray kitten. strut-
BM'S hard to realize just what she is
”kc.
-Aii inquisitive
‘li.
young man fro:
Mme lace way out in ‘iinneso
Ixcrepszories of the New York girl
like fiction. set out to find a typi-
-1 girl of Manhattan that he might
’. some facts to send home.
After wandering about for an hour
r'r more. during which time he had
tentatively confident! at least a no:
“I young women. he at last dead“
definitely upon 0’. , , I‘ _
"mined tom 3‘ . as
v 1a
F .
o
.‘
“Gus, if you're wife wasn't a loving Woman, she‘d divorce
Sou re a big bum.”
“You're another,” growled M.
'UU.
VETS ANGRY AT
ALICE lltlngRTSON
60 Wounded Men Nearly
Spoil Picnic Because of
Farmer Member of
Congress.
ML’SKOGEE. 0kla.. July 11.—Al
picnic for the 60 wounded veterans at;
the soldiers hospital sponsored by E.!
\\‘. Montcastle of Fort Gibson. U. S.
commissioner. nearly “came a cropper'
when the patients refused to go it Miss
Alice Roberson. former member of
congress and welfare worker went
along.
“She voted against our bonus while
in congress." the spokesman of the in-
mates explained to Col. Hugh Scott,
commander of the hospital. who had
just jumped down off a high army
truck. which he intended to drive to
the picnic. “But. listen boy's," said the
colonel. “Mr. Mountcastle has fixed
up some nice watermelons. some ice
cream and has reserved a bathing
beach for us, and besides the nurses
want to go. You can‘t call off the
picnic."
“\Yell. we‘ll go this time." the boy's
agreed after a conference. "“‘e don't«
want to spoil the nurses' good time.
but Miss Alice ought to be courtmar-
tialed."
“Its just those liacvy' pajamas which :
the boys have to wear in the hospital,
that makes ‘em that way.“ cxplninedl
Miss Alice. “I‘ncle Sum ought to havei
mare sense than to isue them for sum-l
iner wear."
“I'm going to call every sewing cir-I
cle in Muskogee out to help me next
week. and we‘ll make them some light
pajamas. and the n there‘ll be no more
kicking."
Su re Relief
ESTION
l
' 6 ELL-ANTS
i \ Hot water
Sure Relief
ate-ANS
25¢ and 75¢ Packages Evenwvhem
If You‘re Having a
CARD PARTY~
Visit Us for
PLAYING CARDS
BRIDGE SLATEN
.E. NI‘SlIllCRS AND PICNCILS
SiTHKF. PADS
TALLY CARDS
TAB]
The Hamilton Shop
49 Wall St.
Redell.
ten the rudiments. In order to be
happy you’ve got to be healthy, and
in order to be healthy you must not
be fat. and in order not to be fat
you've got to take exercise and eat
sanely and sparingly. Then your
work will be a Joy. your friends will
be glad to see a human being. not a
misanthrope. your wife will fall in
love with you all over again—~but
what the devil's the use talking to
you? I'll point to a. horrible exam-
ple of what right eating and think- I lose touch with m ytimes and my-
ing and a. little exercise can do for al friends Providence cannot snatch me
New York girl. regular of face and
feature. and possessing a marked lik-
ing for style and complexion. His
attention was drawn to her by a
group of mail boys who came close
to her with a beetle. VVlth a fright-
ened gesture she pulled her shirts to-
gether and backed away.
"Take that squirmy thing away."
one warned them. “Step on It!"
The young man jetted down in his
book: “The New York girl is heart-
less. and she is timed.”
She entered a restaurant. the young
man followinl close. When the had
finished aunt. there was a large
piece of pi. left beside her plate.
"Walter." aid she. "this pie—1
can't eat it. Pres-e give me my check
and leave the pi. out.”
_-Th¢n followed an. argument in
which tho I!" and!!! m the victor.
The m sighed in reign-don
as )0 the pie 0! the check.
at: Mun reinvent buoy-
2*
bals they couldn't render enough lard
out of him to haste his carcass. and
as a result of a little play. a little
work. sane eating and sane exercise
on the part of old man Ferguson and
myself. we two are today engaged in
a longevity marathon that makes life
worth the living."
“In all probability you'll both live
so long you'll ha\e to be buried by
comparative strangers. Cappy."
"I hope not." Cappy piped. ““‘hcn
4
nurious."
At the next corner a crippled vaga-
bond was huddled upon the walk.
She walked swiftly up to him and
dropped a titty-cent piece In the rag-
red cap.
The young man frowned over his
book. but was compelled to write:
“.\‘ew York girl is generous and
tenderhearted." ,
The street car she boarded was
crowded. and the conductor missed
her in collecting fares. She made no
offer to pay. Deliberately beating
the trolley company. the younanan
thought. as he scribbled down: "Sew
York girl is dishonest.”
Alightlng from the car. she walked
to a newsstand. and. drawing a pickle
from her purse, announced. .
"I took two papers instead or one
yesterday by mistake and so I owe
you three cents. You may take it out
of the nlckle. please."
As she waited patiently for be: two
pennies change. themmnin hb
nothing on the last hole."
“I‘ll Just take you on, Cappy‘."
Augustus Redell agreed.
“You'll enjoy meeting old man Fer-
guson." Cappy‘ promised him. “When
he discovers who you are he'll culti-
vate you a heap. hoping to have the
handling of your estate when you’re
gone! And at that." the old gentle-
man added waspishly'. “I'll ' lay you
odds he wins by not less than ten
years."
(Copyright. 1923. by. The United Fea-
ture Syndicate)
J.
A few moments later she entered a
florist'a and ordered a. six-dollar
bunch of flowers. The young man’
at once jottcd down. "Spendthrltt."
and as she apparently had not seen
another bunch similar in kind which
was priced at five dollars. he recorded
also. “Unobserving.” I
At the next corner he saw her stop
to wait for traffic.‘ and so occupied
the time in checking over the entries
in his book. g
A shadow tell across the notebook
and. looking up. he was startled , to
find the' young woman standing di-
rectly before him. hands on hips, and
staring belligerent: into his toes.
"‘Vill you kindly tell me." she in-
quired in a treeaing tone. “what the
big idea. is in following me all over
town? You've been tagging me ever
since the kid: killed the beetle. I'll
give you about one minute to beat 1
In gonzo-ion the young man can-
oelled "Uncle-errant" and ‘W"
leaving mat}!!! toahownsr
MAIN CLOTHING
STORE
l
l.
i 136, \"ASHINGTOX ST. ' '
SO. SOR\\';\LK CO.\.\.
SALE ON
TRUNKS, BAGS
$5.95 up $1.75 up
‘—
Just as the automobile has sup-
‘ plied the transportation
needs of every family, the
. laundry of today supplies ev-
ery sanitary need from the
' roughest wash to the finest
finished fabrics.
Our telephone is 790 — call us
and a representative will call
and explain our, different
services that we can offer
you.
NORWALK STEAM
LAUNDRY
‘
Telephone 790
48 Day Street South Norwalk
0 you know
how my it is
t0.0wn a beautiful
Genuine ‘
Diamond Ring!
Ask about our
new'messive
purchase plan.
Our window Display
tells the story.
Robert A. Benedict
m
,Md Ill-Mon hehtnd'apostrpeiss’t
'~. 1‘ m ,- . . .
‘ m Mots
ism-alanin-
227nm smear
Git-DD) Read
[stab/(Med (85]
Store closes at 5 o’clock.
Saturdays 6 o’clock.
. N
has? " —
. ‘5’?
The Bedspreads for Summer Use
Half the charm of a quiet and restful bedroom is
in the way the bed is dressed. Other appurtenances
have their places and may be as attractive as one de-l
sires. The silk and lace spread is beautiful to see and l
a fine place for women guests to lay their evening
wraps, but the everyday good looking spread is a more ‘
practical thin". We ask attention to
The Crmkl' 6 Spread, which is called “Polly
Prim.” It is striped, a sort of half bleached cotton
with stripes in pale old rose or pale gray blue. It is
of such soft and beautiful weave and Such quality that
it looks lustrous. Of course it is washable.
Size 72 x 108, $12.00
90 x 108, $13.75
Satin finished Spreads of fine quality, extra large
sizes, in floral designs, the patterns standing out ef-
fectively. 88 x 98. $8.50
Plain White Dimity Spreads, $3.00
a Third floor
Some Towels, Colored Huck
Guest Towels of blue, rose or lavender huck with
white hems, 15 x 22, $1.00
All White Huck with colored hems, 89 cts
Larger Huck Towels, same colorings, 18 x 30 $1.50
White with colored hems, $1.25
Turkish Towels
A nice. big Turkish Towel, double thread. good
weight and size, the kind that takes the water ofi the
back quickly after a shower, 22 X. 45. All white or
with pink or blue borders of pleasmg shade, _
59 cts
Third floor
Children’s Dresses Couch Covers
all made, but to be em- thicken washable
broidered. Lawn, white Barrow stnped cloth,
or pink also a small shades of tan and white
polka dot in color on a or two_ shadescf tan
White ground. Sizes for “’Ith. a tied—1n fringe on
2, 4 and 6 years. Sam— all Sides,
les seen at the depart-
iphent show hOfW cilarm- $175
in the little me 5 ap— r
pegr when embroidered Tm d n°°’
in colors or trimmed
iii-gigth Silk crochet stitch- Plenty Of Pillows
, $150 and $200 Round or Square, for_
Art Department min “0°" the couch, the hammock, '
‘ the verandahd stipsogtii'
the floor, ma e o g.
W001 Jersey ClOth cretonne in attractive
An exceptionally fine patterns,
weave,madefrom .
French yarn- If J't‘rsey Third no...
Cloth interest; you do
look at this ' e, espe-
cially if a neatly; 1:12p Buffet Sets
' ‘ in view. 0 g - .
fould be more accept— IOld blue and. whit;
able for a simple slip- Linen Mats, plain cen-
over frock or a. sports ters With an. efiective
skirt or suit. than this edge.
material, which will not Oval, 14 x20, 90 ct.
sag or stretch. Silver, 2 Plate Dodeys, 10 inch,
brown, tan, elk, almond . 80 ct! »
green, rose and peacock. Making the set $1.70
Also in black and White. Luncheon Sets mm
Width 54 inches. made up from
a ."' Marl. paecssgdesued
.1 y ' , - , - ,
Norwalk Chronicler