SOUTE EOEWALK EYENING 3m
.. M "*- ~"\‘—§\\
By MRS. W. L. GEORGE
(This is the first article Mrs.
George has ever written).
LL husbands need managing.
chiefly because they must.
always be led ’to think they
[re having their own way. If you
-really want a man to do something
do not suggest to him that he would
like it. ianily plays quite as large
a Part in man's character as it does
in woman's. Therefore. to create that
atmosphere of holy calm and peace,
it is wise to‘lct the. man feel that
he alone is responsible for every—
thing pleasant that happens: to sug-
gest that when the fish docsn't‘ar-
rive for
happened if only he hzid gixcn the
dinner this Wouldn't have
order.
My position was not quite that of
as I came to a
in running
not only had
the ordinary lu‘ilic.
that
, order for
house had been
some years;
I to manage two little sons, but also
servants who had their own routine
of wmlt. I found I had more or loss
to (eight myscif to the household
and nut tho household to me. My
husband‘ had warned me before our
marriage that the cook had been
with him for six years, and that if
we ill-'i not got on loge: her one of us
“OHM have to lcme. Before our
munitixc he had managed the house-
hold himself, in my opinion inef-
ficiently and expensivcly; but he
was very pleased with iliff“.‘lf; he
tilt-l'r‘i'or'c considered that it was up
to mo to get on 'with the cook.
it is asionishinw how impractical
mill mo. in the house when one con-
Sitlt rs the method and piecision with
wi .ic‘n they mam. go their businesses.
For instance, it took me considerable
timn io convince my husband that it
Would be easier to convert one at
the drawing room windows into a
French window than to erect steps
up to :1 sash window. and another
flight of steps down to a roof garden
we wen- building. I did not say he
was wrong. That would have been
fatal. 1 merely bewuiled the bad
building of English windows; I led
him to talk of windows in general;
I led the conversation to French
apartments! Then, in a burst of
imagination he. not I, had the great
idea. It was hc~who suggested the
French window I wanted. The chief
thing in marriage is to convince the
male of his superiority. He will then
not worry himself as to who really
gives the orders.
\thn I married I thought I was
undertaking to look after a husband,
u. house and two little boys, but after
five months of marriage I sometimes
wonder whether I have not under-
taken the 'care i f two little boys. one
house. and it fit by. "The man who
understands all about women" is
much akin to the. mun who don't.
Like, other men he requires imme-
diate sympathy with his pleasures
and pains: interns in tin.- la test thing
which interests him; when he is de-
pressed he demands that I should
find for him other amusements. But
he differs from other men inas-
much that. when he has had a fair
innings and talked about the things
which interest him, he is willing to
listen for a few .Ilnutes to the things
which interest no. and which I con-
sider it is good for him to share in.
Naturally. having, been given the
reputation of knowing all about.
women, he thinks that he knows all
about me d0"'n to the smallest de-
tail. He is convinced that he can
always read my thoughts, and at one
time we used to havt long arguments
When I meekly tried to assert what
was really occupying my mind. Now.
for the sake at peace, I generally
tell him what a wonderful insight he
has, and then so his satisfaction to
persuade him to give in to me on
some point to which he has pre-
viously refused his consent.
One very subtla method he em-
ploys with me is to insist that I
should make by own decision about
things connected with myself or the
. children, but he 1.. far too clever to
- take this line excepting when he in
' Quite sure that it is a. decision on
~~ which I shall need his advice. This
ills caused me many hours of dis-
tress, but I have now discovered that;
' {Patten suffices to draw him gently
Into an argument and thus get his
opinion without definitely asking for
advice. If in this manner I fail
”get 'my own way. I create about
myself an atmosphere of deepest de-
Mon and gloom. until, being un-
to bear with this any longer, he
lost rolents.
One peculiarity of 1:13.01 which be
i. totally unaware. but which in the
boy is rapidly developing,
an obstinccy which takes the form
'; cream my now suggestion with
no words: "I won‘t.” For instance,
tddbhnthutheneedodanew
'3 putt". for his bed; 0150.11.
we later. I sugges‘ .‘ that his
try unit was In rag, ..id must
minced. Bot/h luggestions.
- obviously sensible. were
without. any hesitation by:
.
nadimctoldthatifancw
.' m 3‘? ‘3'
w bdwouldthrow’
,lngotbunnon
How 1 “audio“;
calico of my deprmsion. There and
then we burned the hat. and from
that moment decided that he should
. have the right to express dléépo.
proval on condition that he should
replace the condemned article. We
have both agreed that it is fatal for
'a woman to wear clothes in which
she feels herself a failure, or. as In
my case, to wear-”a. frock which does
not win her. husband's approval. A
woman who thinks her clothes ugly
at Once becomes ugly.
' These remarks should not: be taken
as a 'complaint. It makes life so
much more interesting to know that
no detail of new clothing. however
small. will fail to' be noticed and
commented on. I should hate to hear
my husband say: "Corklng hat! I
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.4.
“First I picked out the gowns I liked, " then I let him look at—--on1y those I had chosen. He selected one. and thought he was managing
I encouraged him to stay up late. ~
I engaged him in argument Just be-
fore he went to bed. I regularly in-
quired how he had slept and con-
doied with him on his bad nights.
He sleeps perfectly, but. he began to
fancy that he suffered from 'inscm-
nia. Suddenly, ten days later, he
suggested to me that something
needed repairing in his bed. In the
last few days it had suddenly grown
uncomfortable. This mattress be-
ing so old, didn't I think it would
be a. good plan to scrap it and buy
a. new one?
‘equally obstinate small son.
me and my wardrobe.
covered to my surprise that they
were patterns for country suits!
This form of obstinacy brings him
into constant conflict with the
Neither
will give way, and sometimes I find
I need all my tact to keep compara-
tive peace. as it is rather difficult to
correct the father before the son.
One day I left them quite happily
preparing to build a castle of bricks
on the nursery floor. but after a few
moments violent screams were heard
and I rushed to them. expecting to
find the baby had hurt himself. In-
Mts ..W L. George. .
To which I meekly replied that I
was so sorry he should have been
suffering ouch discomfort. and con-
veyed the impression that his sug-
gestion was entirely original. The
same thing happened In regard to.
the country suit. My ens-swan
must have gone and end round In
his mind until he pal-m him-d:
that here was another Mum idea
of his own; mutant mm»
rot
bonkedmcuImuminmdccn-
agenc- to our previous we,
stead I (burn: both purple with pas?
man. dutchlng bricks tightly In both
all men seem to demand the same
rescuing Power from a. small child
as they do from a grown person.
Another thing which used to cause
me constant worry and convince me
of a 501:va of my own shortcomings
was his c-riiiclstn of the meals and
the cooking of the food that I pm
vided. in view of the warning given
me before marriage I began to feel
that my reign in this household
would be one of short duration. The
cock. as I have said. had been in
the house six years, and I had 81-
ways heard her spoken of so highly
that. I fell convinced the fault must
lie with me and my choice of food
rather than with her manner OI
cooking. I was also constantly being
told what an easy matter it was to
keep housc, and how magnificently
everything had been managed when
my husband had run the house him-
5611’. giving the entire orders for
the day to cook. housemald and
nurse in less than ten minutes. I
said nothing, but next morning I
told the cook to go to the study and
ask my husband for orders. This
proved a most successful counter at-
tack. and complaints cussed in an
almost miraculous manner.
Sometimes~1 wonder if. it is not. ..
a mistake that my husband should
be known as the man who knows
all about women. Perhaps his title
should be “The Man Who Knows
All About Woman's Clothes." for on
matters of dress he certainly. has a
Very full knowledge down to the
smallest detail. One of my trials be:
fore going to a party is that the
'moment he coma into my room he
examines me from head to foot. and
then Says: 'tNow turn round slowly
and let me look at the back."‘After
suffering acute agpny, while .w‘altlng
for his approval, I either gala it or
. make the micrcscopic alteration be
requires to the angle of my hat.
Then I emerge from my room feel—
ing that I can face the world, per—
fectly assured that; not a hook is
unmatched and not a. speck of pow-
do: out of phice. Crumb-n of this
kinda. I think, muoen‘en: think
in one‘s ”band. but I: win rather. ,
”dismayed the other day when the ~'
. baby ‘toidrme I looked bouthlc In ‘
It's very simple.”
The choice of clothes is indeed a
very difficult one when one has to
consider the taste of one’s husband
as Well as one‘s own. I find the only
satisfactoi'y way of doing it is to
make him share the responsibility.
This means two visits to my dress-
maker instead of one: on the first
visit I make a selection of all the
models which I myself am willing to
wear: on the second visit I take my
husband with me, allowing him to
give the casting vote, always being
careful slightly to disparage the one
, George.
"of the delightful sides of my has.
5, box or may, or something equally
always liked you in 181831 summer,"_
when I had the day before spent
hours choosing it. I prefer to be cc-
casionally worried with comments.
Even if I do nc‘; agree with them,
they keep me interested in my ap-
pearance. Married to W. L. George.
I should never dare to grow slovenly
. as I might with an amiable person
who thought me adorable, however
much I might let myself age.
There are other advantages In liv-
Ing‘with "the man who understands
all about women.” For instance. one
bandh'cbamcter Is that be is 0011-,
stuntly saying #13ij out with me
this mm. and we’ll buy some-
satisfactory than bringlns' me home
' Mahala. He does this when
since he understands
_ that when one says that life’s not
:mfilcé." rmummuchmoro»
" . Instance. that If he likes
I shall be conducted toan
hat. shop. Perhaps I ought
this since he may take itas
broad hint, but he is one of mi.
skeptical people who do not
whether hints are broad or d
them eqw,
this we].
V!
not to a,
well in either ~ase.
Reverting to~the drawbacks Which
cannot be avoided. exen if (he bu
married one‘s ideal man 1 51m“.
mention that. unlil- :c :1 r .12?th 6,
men I have met. my “1155;13de
thirst for informatior on all Fib-
jects down to the gym .53 dec:
This I sometimes fir i me my 1,:
rating. Also in all :33; erg he like
‘ to have a hard and fast tale Thu:
though I can comince him that
black is black and 22 .19 is white u
is almost homes to show him
that the two make I 2. I cope with
this according to l
recipe which decl
drown a cat with (
band demands a
to give I smother I 2’
Interesting infer. .
grows bored and c1:
no more with
£11.11 .119
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When my enc'lvcv‘r'it was an-
nounced many of ...5 friends as-
sured me that I was making a great
mistake in marryir‘." a. men fourteen
years older than They said
It would mean u 2.. up many of
my social plcasu“ .t a man of
his age would :3.
may to
go out to tbs-:1" , . &c, and
would expect nu :3 down to
quiet evenings at 22.:‘1 him.
I refused to ’r ’ ‘ by their
gloomy prop} ., i ‘a (I. vmaking
up my mind that u zile Ilr‘ might be
marrying a man oh my vsenior
in years I It ‘cd to make.
him my coczcmp: rary in pleasuresl
I think I he‘e been successful be-(
cause I now find when we spend 33‘
evening alone-.2213: he in2ariably re-
marks: "How . ‘ltful to be
alone for an evening. By the way.
it We haven‘t :1 party to-morrow
night would you like to go to the‘
theazer?“
Another instance of this youthful‘|
impetuosity is his love of travel and!
his willingness to change his plans:
at a moment's notice. I have efoundl
it necessary to ma}. e a rule that!
when we are going away for a.
week end he may change his mind'
as often as he likes during the week
before we go: but having once in.
duced me to pack be may not change
his mind on the way to the station.
Otherwise I might find myself with
clothes suitable for the depths of
the country, being taken to i a
smartest hotel at a fashionable ea-
side place.
Is it pleasant to live with a man
who often (though not always)
knows what you are feeling? 0:1
the whole, ves, though, of course, it
has many drawbacks as cell as ad-
vantages. It, is delightful to know
worth living and (files my to rage
over a broken egg c: :3, your husband
will at once grasp the fact that the
broken.,egg cup is merely the small
last straw after an accumulation of
everything going wrong throughout
the day. Though he is like other
men given to asking me stolldlyi
“what is the matter." which when
repeated drives any woman frantic.
he does search for the cause of the
trouble. He knows it Is not the egg
cup, so he delves in my mind, sug-
gests that the children have Irri-
tated me, or that I have a. headache.
or that I am short of money, or that.
I am bored. or that I want. to :3
North and visit my mother. or . . a‘,
or . . . until he enrages me to such
a. point that I tell him. Then he
comfo:ts me. arranges matters and
I feel much better. I am afraid Ly
the way, that in this regard I am'
explaining how he manages mc‘
rather than howI manage him. But
then. happy couples always manage
each other. ‘
. In conclusion I must, however, re-
peat that to be married to a man
who knows all about women has
its disadvantages. Sometimes it is
even more trying to be understood
than misunderstood, and. most trying
of all. when one's husband insists
that he understands and in reality is
completely wrong. Often I would
infinitely prefer that he wot: id 111"
the majority of males, leave an
’ ' room, banging the door behind him
saying: "Ob. women!” than that
he should sit down and assure m0
that he understands completely, thus
robbing one of the grmt satisfao. tion
of being a misunderstood woman.
Naturally. a man so interested ‘1
woman and everything that con-
.7 cerns her will take the greatest in-
tereshin the smallest details con-
nected with her house and affairs.
This regard for detail is sometimes
,very gratifying. but on the other.
hand lays one open to receiving com-
plaints about things of which the
' usual‘ analyser-van: male knows notho
lug. .
Of course. having once been given.
thertitie of the man who understand!
all about women my husband is con-
vincod thathedoemanditisqutta
he maybomlctaken.
mzmupmfomd. and“
mdghtbuoftencamdmemm
mambo“
.I'M
Norwalk Chronicler