horns HANGING“
_ i, f
‘ JUMPIN JOE MAKES iT EASY FOR A
:' WiDOW AND FIVE CHiLDREN.
in Breaking the News to Ber 01 the Late
‘ hasnted’a Sudden and‘llntlmely Be-
part". Ho Does It “'1": the Courtesy
' ola‘l‘rne Gentleman.
, I was ridin out from the town of Perry
when loam moose woman and tire chil-
I. in mm in awason on an alkali claim.
[ml-80in by without stoppin when the
1", Womancalls out to me:
., "Strum. I’m a feelin a leetle bit shaky
‘thant my ole man. Mebbe you've passed
him on the road?"
“Mehbe 1 her,” says I. “What's yer per-
. ticulardlstrwa about yer ole man?"
“He’s bin gone two days, lookln arter
, m to build a shanty. and mebbe he’s met
with s misiortin. "
"What sort of a critter was be. if I may
he so holdl” says I as I rid a little closer.
“Nuthin to brag of but jest farishascrlt-
go. I could hev done better. and I
a. e might hev done
n wuss. He bossed
. (i.
. I? the children. butl
bossed him."
“Did he hev any
pertickler looks,
ma’am?"
“Not so very per-
tickler; he wastoo
lazy fur that. He
was a small man,
with red hair and
whiskers, and was
shackelty in the
knee jints.”
“Was his front
teeth purty long
whom] purty yaller,
ma ’aml"
“PICiIED THE CRITTER “NOW I think of
or IN KANSAS. in, they was."
”And he had a voice with a squeak in it,
the'sameas if eunthin needed to he lied
up?
“Es bad. When he tried to sing a song,
thachildren’s ha’r alias curled upiu hard
knots. Stranger. I reckon you must her
run across my Ebeneezer Skinner sum-
whsr."
“One thing further. ma’am." says I as
she throwsd two of the children outer the
wagon to let ’em hev a fa’r fuss on the
ground below. “Did the late lamented hev
any pertiokler weakness of character that
ye kin handily remember?”
“He had a heap'of ’em, stranger, but if I
was to name any pertickler one I‘d say it
was the habit of sorter uittiu hold of sun-
thin heloum'n to somcbmly else an hnugiu
on to it like a dog ton root."
“And I kin take it. that the dear departed
had objeckshuns auin dyiu?"
“You kin. lie had lots of pepper, but no
sand. “'hut had he bin Mloiii, stranger.
jest afore ye met up with him?"
“Steulin stuff fur his shanty they said."
"And was it a proper hangiu‘ "
“Perfeckly proper ma am—porfeckly so.
They “in him 10 miuits to sorter git used
to the change of climate, and when he
spun itout to 15 nobody kicked. I’ve seen a
good many liuskin bees of the sort in my
'me. but I never send a more proper one."
' “Did Eheneezer seem to be much put out
t it?" she asked after cuflin one of
f 0 children for pinchin the baby.
' .30 did, ma ’am—he did. He couldn't
kasaly bring hisself to realize that he “its
goin to leave Cherokee. Sum critters are
putty slow about sich things, you know.”
“Whar_did they bury him?”
"Right their. uia’uin, and it may console
ye to know that he wasn’t in no trance
when they laid him away. No, thar wasn’t
no question of his help plumb dead, and
I’ll give ye my word he won't leave that
in a hurry. As the crowd was It leetle short
handed Ou funeral obsequies,l helped to
drap him into the hole myself."
“That was powerful kind, hein as ye luul
never met him before."
“Wanl, mu’am, I’m nllus williu to
ohleege a fell-er critter in distress. He gin
his name and money to the fuller who
hoaacd the hangin, and if that teller hnin't
pressed with bizness he will probably hunt
ye up in a day or two. Would it be im—
perlitc to ask ye whur he got the horse he
was ridin when the enthusiastic populace
‘ overtook him and extended the invitn~
shun?”
“0h. not at all. lie picked the critter up
in Kansas as we cum along, It wasn't just
the critter he’d u‘picked outer a drove of 50
with all day be» ,“
fore him, but he if“
did the best he ,4, ,
could under the
carcumstunces”
“I don’t doubt
it. ma’nm, and I
may saytliecrowd j
didn‘ t ’pear to ‘
doubtit either. in
fact. the owner of _'
that boss was timr iii
togin all the per- “Err-b
ticklers. llioticed
that the late in—
mented my. “1..., in“\\'u A'r’s Tm: museum'—
po-oahun of, arifie PER WW”
that he didn‘t hev no portiokh-r use for,
hein he could hov killed two or thru- men
but didn't fire a shot. Would it he too
much for yer sorrowful feelin’a to any wimr
‘ that gun was diskiveredl"
“Sartlnly not. Elicneczer lifted it outer
a wagon one night when the owner was
sound asleep. It wasn't jest aicli a weepiu
ashe would hev selected from a wagon loud
in the daytime, but he Wus limited in his
choice. ye see.”
"1 teen the pint. nnt‘um. Yer Elwnm-m-r
sorter froze on to unythin he could liit,i
take it?"
“He did, and a thing had to weigh u too
todiscourege him. Did he menshun any.
thin about me or the children?”
“Not in the English languige Is she it
spoke out yore. um um. He probably meant
to, but was rushed with bizneus just then;
No. he didn't say cattle. and yit he norm
looked at me in a yenruin way as if he
wanted to an Inc to ride over yerc uud
Wk the sad newnund tell ye to sorter
Miss that yaller hoes out that store. his
owner appeared. I'm attnkin it that yer
Meant also picked him up as ye jour-
nsysd henceward!"
“Yes. he sartinly did.
o
ill
It imiu’t much of
s hmbut Eben only had two hours in
which to find him, and it was A dark
WIN."
“1 might arranged. if it wuuidoomule
WW
urbed emouhuns, to llt'V yer lit'lll‘
bruug down yore, whar ye could
We: hit last Instill lace as'the tum
flay} the all tiers of twilight
Mt it over for a minit and then
I
kind of y Jun 1 never did
WWW .. mm tannin
Whitetail" “
We: MUM! ”mm I “A j
ate wby I should mm Mythic” new." ' .
"Not the slightest res-on hn- it. ma’am.
Jest ye git another and go right to work on
this land. .‘l’d offer myself. but I’m out
here on a mission. as they calls it. ”
“And what might it be!" she asked as
her foot struck the oldest boy and upset
him.
”Exhibitin of this grasshopper in abut-
tie and a-sellin my magic cement and Cher-
okee sassyparilly. Both wanted in every
household. When ye hain’t usin one, use
t’other. ”
"What's the grasshopper furl”
“Fur to show of! my goods. I break at! his
legs. stick 'em on agin with my cement, and
by the aid at one dose of my sassyperllly
the hopper is all right next day. Carry the
livin proofs right with me. ya no. Kin I
say anythln more to sorter soften yer and-
den bereavement?”
"Not as I knows of. and I thank ye fur
yer great kindness. Hold on a minlt,
though. When ye
ar’ ridin along ye
may cum across a
decentish lookin . _
man about 40 y’ars .
old. Mebbe he’ll
be a lone man.
s’archin for the
c o m l o rt :1 an d
blessiu’s of home.
If it haln’t puttin
ye out too much,
ye might stop that
man and say to
him that ye’v e jest
met up with n BEADED AWAY son rm:
widder with five CLAIM.
children and an outfit and a claim. The
widder ar’ a hustle: at workin and savin,
and the children ar’ almost too good and
party for this kentry. That widder is sorter
nely way off yere. and them children is
a-cryin more or less fur a father.
man ar’ a—lookiu fur the best thing in all
Cherokee. tell him to put spurs to his boss
and never stop till he zitse re. "
“I'll do it, ma‘am. and {ll do it properly
and with pleasure, and if the knee happens
to heon foot I‘ll lend him my critter and
fire three or four shot; arter him to make
him hurry."
I think I brnn omaolashun to her sor-
rowin soul. fur oorin the dsyl met and
spoketo about 20 different reptiles, all of
whom headed away for the claim with their
critters throwin dirt 20 feet high behind
'em. Ans-rm KEENE.
Seeing the Editor.
The office boy. who was also guardian of
the gate of The Occidentalist. was sun-
ning himself lazily in front of the office
when a rough looking citizen, with his
pantaloone in his boots and a gun in his
coattail pocket. approached the portcullis.
"Can I see the editor?” he asked in a
voice that sounded like a bass drum out of
tune.
“Do you want him to see you?"asked the
guardian significantly.
“I don’t care if he does or not so long‘sl
can see him."
This did not strike the guardian propi-
tiously.
“What do you want to see him about?"
he asked on another tuck.
“About four lllillllitrl and a. half, ” was
the rather equit ocal reply.
“Is it personal?” inquired the boy, (litre
garding the ancient form of witticism in
the answer.
It‘VeS'l'
"Vi'nut to lick him?"
“No. Want to pay my subscription fer
last year and the year to come.”
The boy jumped up. lie hadn’t moved
previously.
“Walk right in," he said, shoving the
door open, “walk right in. But say, mis-
ter, don’t spring it on him sudden. He
ain’t used to it. and something might hap-
pen."-—l)etroit Free Press.
Told by Mark Twain.
Mark Twain, the other day. told a writer
for the Buffalo Courier a story which illus-
trates the point that all clerks in book
stores, alert and generally accurate asthey
are. are not a final authority in literary
matters. Mrs. Clemens and a friend re
cently went into a bookstore in New York
and called for n copy of “’l'aiue’s Ancient
Regime.”
"Beg pardon," sold the clerk.
book did you any?”
Mrs. Clemens repeated the author and
title of the hook. Going to the rear of the
store, the clerk soon returned.only to in-
quire:
“May I ask you to repeat the name of the
nuthori”
"Why, ’l‘uine.” replied Mrs. Clemens.
becoming a little annoyed.
Assuming an air of superior knowledge
and looking at his customers with a sym-
pathetic smile, he remarked:
“Pardon me. madam, but you have the
natnealittle wrong. You mean'l‘wain—
not Taine."
"\Vhat
A llint.
Hazelywliy George! l can’t understand
it. My credit must be gone. Business men
don't seem to think I'll be able to pay.
Mrs. Hamel -—- erhaps they’d think soil
they saw gym to dress bottom—Chicago
Tribune.
Old Sayings.
As poor as a churchmen”.
As thin as a rail.
As fat as a porpoise.
As rough as a gale.
As brave as a lion.
As snry as a cat.
As bright as a slxpence.
As weak as a rat.
.-,., ._.
As proud as a peacock.
As sly as a fox,
As mad as a March hare.
Al strong as an on.
At fair as a lily.
An empty as air.
A- rich as was Croesus,
’ As arose as a bear.
As purest an angel.
As heat as a pin.
A- smart as a steel trap.
As only so sin.
As dead as a door nsil,
A: white ss a sheet,
As flat as a monks.
A:- red as a beet.
As round so an apple.
As black as your hat.
As brown as a berry.
AI blind as a bat.
At mean as a mint.
As full as a lick.
As plump as a partridge.
As sharp as a stick.
As clean on penny. ' i
as dark as a nail. '
A! hard as s millmna. '.
AI bitten “ Illa
‘I “It. I I I.»
As clear as a bell.
As «1 us herrl
AI pass
mdldoa‘tf'
If that k
I
Now ia,vt‘l,ie][J time to buy whenr rices are the ,
lowest. Paper never has n or will it
hangs sin as low as we are selling it. Notwith-
sta log the low price that we have
charging for it. we intend to carry them down
one peg ower.
Commencing June 20th, until further
notice We will give a discount of 10 per
cent. on all our grades of Gilt Papers
and Borders, we have a large stock and
must sell it. as we do not wish to carry
it ever.
a
H...—
—0UR-—
PIOTOREFRAMINO
DEPARTMENT
In complete. We carry the lat est stock of
Mouldings. andour prices are l e lowest for
first class work. Our Mats are cut by machin-
ery. We can sell them louver than parties can
that cut them by hand. Picture moulding b
the! foot. A large assortment of unfram
pictures. We are the only one that carry a
nil line of
ARTISTS’ MATERIALS
For Crayon. Water and Oil Work.
The famous art amateur studies. Regular
price. 350: our price. 103. W e have a gold in!
that will not tarnish and can he w.aslie
an ”5c a bottle.
————-ooo—-
PAINTERS’ SUPPLIES.
Coach Colors and \arnishes. Our prices are
the lowest for ilrst class goods. We do not
can seconds.
Painting. Paper hanging.
Decorating and Frescolng.
L. H. Decker,
79 Washington St, 80. Home“:
P. J. FLYNN
Plumbing. Steam and Gas Fitting
108 WASHINGTON ST.
Sign Writing,
J. F. Flynn will have personal charge-jot this
department.
Plumbing overhauled and put in first class
sanitary condition.
PORTER WATER MOTOR
Best in the world. Call and get prices.
roll it
Midsummerllispusal and lied Ticket at
BERINNINR MONDAY, JULY iOiil.
GOODS AT STRIKING PRICES.
goods worth 39c to 50¢ for 250. Scotch Zephy Ginghams, for 10c. Bummer Outings, worth 100,
50. Bargains in Gent’s Outing Shirts, Ladies’ Shirt Waiste, Silk Skirts, and Print Wrappers. Sun—
Umbrellas.
A Dickerman & Son,
84 WASHINGTON STREET. SOUTH NORWALK. CONN.,
CAR LOAD
——-—OF-——-
LumberBOXWagons
JUST RECEIVED.
Prices Reasonable. flame and Ste Them.
lllTHEil WilliiiiT’S carriage Repository
Corner Franklin. and‘ Madison Streets.
DO YOU WANT COMFORT...
If so, you eat: get more out ofnan easy, good.
fitting Shoe than anything in: the world.
LADIES’,
You need an OXFORD TIE, one that is easy and Will cure
and prevent sore feet. Well, we have got them in RUSSETT that
are perfection, and at prices so low that you cannot help buying. 'Just
call and see
GENTL
them, the goods andprices Will do the rest.
EMEN,
You need a RUSSETT shoe now, and W0 have got them,
and they are hobby, comfortable and cheap. We want to close them
all out in the next 30 days, and to do so give you prices way down.
In
CALL AND
H
ash ington Street.
CHILDRENS’ SHOES we have everything. 6
SEE US.
xi
. OLSEN,
0.
SOUTH R .A.
Ladies' and Children's J ackets. half price. Dress goods worth 750 to $1.00 for 500. Dress
BALANCE or SUMMER STOCK AND JOBS IN OTHER
‘wég
3-“.
Norwalk Chronicler