. .
v ,
. artifact wsooni Ass csfiiiises':
I" 9 My Police Captain llodo Bola
‘ ~ From a Sociable.
‘Qlllul good story was found drifting ‘
ill!“ the other day on the surface of life.
It Home Lieutenant Hayes of the police
lace, who was once a captain and located
All the Desplaines street station. The cap-
till! Wu considered an excellent brother-
‘ln-llw of the church, and one night he
‘1‘“ down the cares of ofilce long enough to
' swornpany his family and some friends tow"
agehnrch sociable. The night was not a
Dim!“ one, and when the hour came for
filming there was good reason for not
wishing to walk through the streets; A
«rain was falling, and the wind was blow-
, an. Carriages were most decidedly in or-
, 8‘.
:All through the festivities of the even-
in. the captain had borne a master hand
It entertainment. lie had made jokes, and
thojokes had been laughed at till the gen-
eral impression of him was that Captain
Boy“ was a moustrously funny fellow.
Of course a police captain on the West Side
wieldsa good deal of power of one kind
and another. and he docsn’thavc to exert
himself as a common man would to achieve
npplauae. Some philosopher once remark-
ed, observing that all good Frenchmen
were laughing at the honmots of Napo-
leon, that “an emperor can be funny with
a Very little wit." in a modified way this
was true of the captain. True, his jests
had been marry. in dinanner, but none of
them possessed the humorous merit of his
leave taking. .
Just as the rest of the guests weregrum-
blimp about the door and dreading the
plunge into darkness and rain Captain
Hayes disappeared from the scene for a
moment, run down to the corner and tar-
ried a moment at the patrol box.
Then he came back and gathered his
flock about him. By the time all their
' wraps were adjusted there was a clatter of
hoofs on. the pavement. the startling peel
of a gong. and there at the curb stood a
patrol wagon.
Captain Hayes hustled his family and
friends inside. climbed up behind them in
regulation copper style, gave a word to
the driver and vanished into thedarkness.
“Taking them home from a church so-
ciable in a patrol wagon!" exclaimed one
matron, speechless thereafter at the cap—
tain’s humor.
“Yes,” said her husband, dutifully
laughingat the captain's inst joke. “That's
the. funniest thing he has done all the
evening.”
The captain still possessing a very fine
sense of human—Chicago Herald.
Placing the Furniture.
Take on absolute! y impassive fncc, draw
the lines of the mouth upward, as in a
laugh, and the effect is agreeable: draw
the lines downward, as in grief. and they
are most decidedly disagreeable.
Straight lines as Well as curved lines
produce the effect of solidity, durability
“'6 support. This is a constructive air
s"accepted from the earliest ages. On
principle wainscotings, doors and
Eels are built in straight and curved
. But it. would be manifestly wrong
Oirnish a mnntcl with ornaments whose
at or proportiom would give a round
or straight [lili't't unless you desire
his a room to be stiff and prim.
’ The poplar tree, with its upshooting
- branches. forming down pointing angles,
has in look of cheerfulucss about it, while
the willow with its drooping branches,
" forming up turning angles, produces quite
opposite effect and in all countries typ-
e‘s mourning and sadness.
If. in the putting up of decorations. ws
“staff that. lines from the tops of the
different objects with which we are to deo-
crate a mantel form angles pointing down-
ward. then the effect produced will be
cheerful. if the points of the article point
upward, the effect will be opposite—Up»
holsterer.
Children's Eating.
Some parents compel their children to
out against their will, as when they come
to the breakfast table without an appetite,
or have lost it in prospect of avislt or a
ride, or for the sake of “eating their plates
clean" in discouragement of wasteful hob
ill. Unless we are thirsty we cannot drink
the purest spring water without aversion.
and as for eating when there is no Rppctltc
it is revolting, as any one may prove to
himself by attempting to take a second
meal in 20 minutes after having cutenn
regular dinner. ’l‘ho iippotiic. the hunger,
is excited by the prcsrucc of gastric juice
about the atoniach. but if there is no gas-
tric juice there can he no hunger, no nppo
tile, and to compel a child to swallow food
when it is distasu-fnl is on absurdity and a
cruelty, in the opinion of llail's Journal of
Health.
Irish Home Rule.
It is time for plain spcnking about the
Irish situation. it is folly for lrclnnd or
the friends of lrclnnd in dclude themselves
with faisehopmof the triumph of home
rule in the near future, The last hope
vanished with (llinlstonc's retirement. The
day of home rule for the [rich people is
still a long way off. Lord Hoaebcry knows
it. Mr. Gladstone knows it. and thohnowi
edge was one of the principal causes of his
resignation. The leaders of the irish par-
ty. in their secret hearts. know it.~~l.on—
don Cor. New York Bun.
The Rival u! Mammoth Cave.
The Wyaudotte cave, situated in Craw-
ford county. lnd.. near the Ohio river. in
said to rival the Mammoth cave of Ken-
tuckyln grandeur-nod size. it excels the
letter cavelu the number and varieties of
til Itslsgmites and atalactiies and in the
also of several of its chambers. One of
thouschsmbsrs is 850 feet in length. 9th
hotlnheight end contains a bill 175 feet
high. on which are three flue stalsgmites.
Epsom slits. nlter and alum have been ob
“load from the earth of the cave.
Electricity.
There is time durin the remaining years
of the mtury to ms 0 many discoveries
in the uses to which electricity may he
, l. Electricity has suddenly become the
Writs means of traction forsll short dis-
m Moss-gas are now printed by tai-
Ql'aph at the rats of 40 words a minute
‘ and look when completed like typewrit.
in sheets. The new applications of elec-
‘ trinity already made indicate what is in
store for the world in the near future.”
American Cultivator.
Fuel Thirteen.
The "thirteen” dinner given by Mr. Ben-
alter-Hum. M. in. at St. Stephen's club,
‘Wfltminster. a few years ago. had a more
b“ maei than that usually resulting
‘fun social gntherlnm of that unlucky
Whit. Within two months two of the
maid.
Una Except!“
“ mm w~
‘ " Yes “commensurate
Ilr-llobsos intramural-ting
usa‘om mdsvumhswoss MW
. LOVEMKINOV IXTS‘LEPHONEQ
Pleasant Experiences That Are Homo-
tirnu Frans!“ With Danger.
She had a dainty. delicately nurtured
little lisp, and be imagined she was pretty.
Their friendship. Which had its birthday
quite recently. was commenced under cir—
cumstances conducive to .a display of all
the phases of human nature ranging from
intense disgust to perfect bliss.
He had been nagging away at central for
half an hour. trying to get 4700. Falling
in the attempt, be had allowed his temper
to get the best of him. and from the depths
of nperturbed soul he had uttered words
to unpardonable that the wire fairly aimed
as it transmitted them to the "hello" girl
at the other end.
She was a new girl then, and she did not
get math—he wished afterward she had—~but
answered in avoice that his guilty con-
science told him was all n-tremble with the.
throbbing of lncerated heartstrings:
“Ob. now. l thay. that ith too bad. i
can't help it. you know."
The lisp told on him. and in subdued tones
and modified form of speech he ventured to
suggest that it might. not he amiss for her
to tell her name. To his surprise she
patched up her wounded feelings enouuh to
answer. "Allth." and then he succumbed
copipietely to the charm of that musical
OI‘ l’ll
From that time he has bad no cause to
complain of the girl at the central oflice.
Every morning he has asked her how he
looks; every morning she has answered, “1
can’t thee over the 'phone." and every
morning he has breathed forth volumes of
adoration, to all of which she hasllspcd
back sentences fraught with a similar sen-
timent.
0n the anniversary of their acquaintance
he told that he had been a blindfolded wor-
shiper at the shrine of beauty long enough
and that he intended to put a stop to that
haphazard leaping in the dark that was
bound to land him sooner or later either in
a gulf of despair or on the Elysian plains of
hope realized. He wanted to see her.
She chirruped out a few remonstrances.
but he. overruled them, and she arranged
the details of the meeting. which was to
take place at Jackson and La Sallo streets
at 12 o'clock, They were. to wear white.
roses as a sign of recognition. lie was there
on schedule time. She failed to appear. At
the end of 15 minutes his brow was bathed
in perspiration produced by the biliows of
doubt and impatience that. surged o'er his
heart.
At half punt it someone tapped him on
the shoulder, and n iwnvy bass voice in!
qnii‘cd:
"in this John Smith?"
lie had never had cause to be ashamed of
his cognomcu. and he said he was that in.
dividual. The owner of the Volvo “did a
tall, nuwmlar man, «Ire-«ed in n. cycling
suit and rxhsct slim-s. lie wore a whitnrnse-I
intuitively the anxious watcher conncct-
cd his intcrlocuior with “Alitll.” and the
vcry marrow in his bones took on n frigid
foiiipvrzrltlrc.
"You nrctlu- man who has ins-n making
lovi- to Alice over tho it‘li‘plwii”. aren’t
you?" asked l in- lilcyclo ridcrmlgiug nearer.
lie mid ln~ u as.
“I've build of you often. indmd you
are about all i bun.- heard of for the lust
nix months. and l mu writing iirnl of it.
When slu- told luv nlmui [his ucnpudv. i
couldn't stand it any longer. I'd have you
know l'in cngagrd lo that young lady my-
self. and it's my lmunden duty to so? that
she isn‘t subjected to any more annoyances
from you ovar that telephone. and if you
dare to nppnintanotlu-rplnce of illt‘t‘llllli.
by .lnvw, i'il" 'W
llc pliliai'ti to consider just what (‘nllht‘ni
action ho would pursue in (‘ilsl'bllt'ii a thing
should come to pass. The younar lliiiii cx»
rrcikcd his ininginntion on the some lino.
and tho plcturc he conjured up was far
from reassuring.
”l uni-sis you understand inc." his foe
:uldcd significantly.
The young man was too badly frighicucd
io understand much of anything just then,
but the look of warning in tho otlu-r’s cyos
:ould not be misconstrued, nnd ln- signified
his willingness to lot the whole motiur drop
if r-H r3. body i-lsi- connector! With the affair
\l'll‘n
llis dream is i-ndml. 'i‘his nmrning be
[weird four new rules iil tin» iinlt-iuuik which
is his (tour-innt companion. 'i'liry pro:
Avoid nll “lit-lid" girls.
AV’oid it girl lliiil lispm
Avoid Kirk iuunml ".llitli."
A mid llil‘yt'il' l'idi'i‘~. - ('hivngu News.
'i lu' l’t'criM- Conductor.
iloli'mi i‘nx ll Hroi'i, car (tuinllu‘ior \ ho
could in be u finicky oid innid or a pro-
li'hhltllliii incontinent. 'l‘hc ollicr mormnu
vi )‘nuniz uomnu in iln- car beckoned for
him. and In- cnnn- l'i'iiilliy. for ho in polite
ind prompt.
"t'nn l irnu- ilu- cur at tho next tin-H ?"
.ln- inquiml.
“You'll have in, lillhh," lw responded.
ll wom'l (lw cud of tho lino, and hilt’
lidn'L iimlrrnlnml. Nriilu-r did she like lie-
sliL! told him would lmvo to leave llu- our.
“Who: did in” any?" the inquired. with
'l reddening loop.
"1 mid _\ou u'ould harr- to lvnw the cur,
Iuis “
“\ 'i-ll, lam-w i won't unlm I want to."
the said in very i-vidi-ni indication of rising
Li'illlll‘l'. \ ’{x‘
"\i'ln-ri- do you wiali‘i‘llrgo?" min-d the
:muiurmr, [writ-oily calm. ‘
"'l‘u‘u lllvn‘iw down that cross sin-H."
'l‘lw conduclor Mlllil'li softly.
“Then you will have to ll'l".\'(‘ the car.
miss, for i don't we how you can posslhly
1in it with you." nml heroin: the bell for
tho crowing. and tho girl hadn‘t time to
any and burn it out with him. lh-iroit
Fru- l’ri-«a.
“'lwrs- ilw llenmml RIG-rods llw hupply.
"will
if
‘lsile.
A Little Too Nest.
"I don't mind a woman bein neat.” said
old Mrs. .lnmu, "but one woman 1 used to
know was just a little too heat for any use.
Why. that there woman used to take a
couple of goldfish she had outof their tank
every Saturday night and give ’cm a bath,"
~lndfanspolls Journal.
nmwms
"Denver’s“ may not Itym an
m sweats-r roommate.
“l 4n“ " z ' '
‘i'*.* FOR sATunoAv,_;: ;
79 79Special Sale 2’ Hosier
Russets‘ and BlaCkath cts. . .. , ' ' .
Russete and Black , l 5 cts, 2-for. 25zcts. '
Russets and Black 25 cts. ‘ " .
SPECIAL autumn is lllViTED T0 our 25 cm HBSIEBl.
WASHINBTUN STREET.
A. Dickerman &Son,
84 WASHINGTON STREET. SOUTH NORWALK.‘ZCONN.
Willlllllflllll _
Wlllllll.
POINTS—Very long body, very short gear, very high wheels, ver stiff wherelrigidity is
indicated.very elastic where elasticity is re«:iuire(.l,therefore very true an light runmn .Spnngs as
sensitive as air cushions, that may be deflected by the hand, but sustain 600 pounds. ew Bailey
circle under half made solid in front axle. Perch connection made ,solid,in back axle. The beau-
tiful Richards axle that runs a month without rc-oiling. Draft in direct line with, shaft shackles.
New Bailey steel bound indestructible dash. Pat. spring cushion for :seat. High, foot rod, and
foot room enough for anybody.
l'l’o‘tlil‘t‘i wagon on wimls. Stylish convenient. light—running stm . .
’ ’d mill.
Br“ “SWiCk Trap. You ought income are it. Wagons of all hinds.l.vNew and secon
Cur. Madison and Franklin Streets, L U T H E R M . W RlGH ,
80. Nurwall. _.
THEODORE SAYS;
79 79
F. JFLY N N“
Plumbing. Steam and Gas Fitting.
108 WASHINGTON ST.
J. F. Flynn will have personal charge of this
department.
Plumbing overhanlml and put in first class
sanitary condition.
PflllTEll. WATER MOTOR
Best in the world. (‘all and get prices.
mil if
Never Before in South Norwaik,
WAS THERE ANYTHING LIKE THIS OFFERED
line continual Sale of iummer floods.
LADIES’ DEPARTMEN
500 Pair Ladios' Kid Oxford Patent Leather tip: Worth $1.25, at 0500.
500 Pair Ladios' Kid Oxford Patent Leather tip, Square toe: Worth $2.00, at 31w.
500 Pair Ladies‘ Kid Oxford Patent Leather tip and Front Stay: Worth $2.4M, :1! $1.00.
300 Pair Ladies' Nico Russet Blucher Oxford; Worth $1.50, at Mr.
300 Pair Ladios’ Russet Oxford Common Sense~Just the Thing for Sore Fort: Worth $1.50, at Mic.
100 Pair Ladies’ llaud Welt Patent Leather tip Kid Oxford; Worth $3.00, at $1.5M.
200 Pair Ladies’ Whole Fox Big Button Razor toe, Wing tip Shoes; Worth $1.00. at moo.
200 Pair Ladies’ Finn Cloth top Whole Fox Razor tee, Patent Leather tip: Worth “.0“, at $2.Uo.
200 Pub Ladies’ Fine Cloth top Whole Fox Square toe, Patent Leather tip; Worth 81.00, allied).
200 Pair Ladies’ Very Fine Kid Big Button Crimp Vamp. Patent Leather tip; Worth 84,50, at $2.50.
200 Pair Ladies’ Kid Big Button Square toe. Crimp Vamp—Jilin Latest ’l‘hing Ont; Worth $550, atjsmo.
300 Pair Ladies’ Kid Button Patent tip. all Sizes. This is n Dandy: Worth $1.50, at 81.00.
$17700 Pair Misscs’ Spring Heel, Button, Plain for: J. F. Swain’s Make; Worth Mon, at 31.25.
MEN’S DEPARTMEN .
100 Pair Men‘s Fine Square too Lace Shoes; Worth 2.00, at 1.25.
300 Pair Men’s Fine Calf Laces and Congress; Worth 3.00, at 1.50. if
400 Pair Men's Fine Calf Binchsr, Cap toe; Worth 2.50, at 1.50. .
300 Pair Men’s Fine Calf Blueber, Piccadilly Cap toe; Worth 3.00 at: .00.l
350 PairlMon’s Fine Russia Calf Blucher Welt; Worth 3.50, at 2.25.
Ladies’ and Gentlemen these are the biggest bargains ever offered in South Norwalk.
THEO. H. OLSEN,
8| Washington Street,
Norwalk Chronicler