So 1,. nouwALK mm SEN , AY, MAY "'23. 189i; 0 camera duesTNUTs. fills Whiskers-dim know the Misses Cheri-ally” Mustache-Yes. I’ve met them. Where is no earthly “case for a tailor who turns out poor work if"- “If what!" «"ho takes the right measures to have his meats flt."-—Bnifaio Courier. “Hardup is a pretty decent sort of chap. but he never sticks to anything." "Did you our land him any moneyi"—-Philsdel- phla Record. Some people'sidea of being polite is to do impolite things a hundred times a day. ,llwayl saying. “Excuse me." afterward.— ‘ ‘Atehison Globe. ’ No matter how low a fashionable dress may be out. it always comes mar-Dallas News. , "It really looks." sighed the poet. “as if I had no writes that anybody else is bound to respect."—-Exchange. Despite the great amount of talk pro and con about wages. the coal digger’s pay is. after all. only a miner consideration.-—Buf— falo Courier. Thatls a delicious moment when. after waiting in solitude from 7 to (:30 in the drawing room. it gradually dawns upon you that you have been invited half an hour ahead of time because you are always a half hour late.-—Life. It is the boarding house chicken that has a really tough time of it.—-—Bufl'alo Courier. A Period Be Bad Forgotten. The class in physiology was reciting. The professor was lecturing on food.’and be had ‘ just been telling the young men and women that there were certain substances which alone would sustain life an indefinite length of time. He cited several perfect natural foods and told why each one met all re- quirements. He came to milk. “Now. milk." hesaid. "isomost excellent food. It will support life for weeks if no other food is used.” The tall young man who liked toarguo stood up and said. “Of course. Dr. Tes- tuhe, I do not want to dispute the comet- nees of your assertion. but I confess that I cannot bring myself to think that any per- son could live exclusively on milk." Dr. ’l‘estube looked rather bored. "Is there any one else who supports Mr. Kick- er’s theory?” he asked. glancing arouudthe classroom. No one cared to argue the point. The professor turned to Mr. Kicker again. "I understand you to say. Mr. Kicker, that you do not think that a diet of milk exclu- sively will support life. Am I correct?” “You are, sir. I admit that milk is an excellent thing. It is nourishing and all that. but the idea that a person can live on it alone is preposterous—preposterous. siri" “Preposterous. is it?" " “Yes. sir: that is what I meant. No per- son could live more than a few days on it— that is. no human." The professor smiled II and. swect smile. “Think back. Mr. Kicker," he said, while the class listened expectuntly: "turn your mind hack in or 20 years and see if you did not live on it exclusively for u. considerable period of time." And just here Mr. Kicker sat down very hard.-—-Iinfl'alo Exprcss. A Laugh on the Lawyer. There. was it laughable incident in the trial of twu alleged pickpockeis rccently. A detective was on the witness stand. and the examination ran something like this: Lawyer—Well. what made you suspect them? \Vitness-One of them had on his arm a lightweight alpaca overcoat. with a slit in the lining. in order that he might operate easier. Lawyer—Now. if you saw me walking along the street with such an overcoat on my arm. would you arrest me? ‘Vitness—No. I know you. -—-. the lawyer. Lawyer—Well. what‘s the difference be- tween a lawyer and a pickpocket? . To this question the witness made no re- ply, but a ripple of laughter ran around the courtroonnaud onc of Ibo spectators was heard to say: “Mighty little."» l’liilndrlphiu i 'nll. You are Mr. No Doubt. Moxie-Soy, sistcr. We have n joke on thc people in this cur. Jnlla~\\'liy'« Alexik—liccnnsc iiu-v all think no are bride Ind groom. - 'l'rni h. 9 0m- Holler. Two working women at the I’nsteurim stitute \verc iclliou each other about their accidents while waiting their turn to be in oculated. ”As for mc."suid the first. “I was bitten hya horrid cur. no doubt he- longing to snow concierge in our neighbor hood." The second. nssumintz an air of impor- time as though conscious of licrcvident superiority. rcplicd. “i was bitten by the poodle of a titled lnilyi"—~l"igaro. For Others. Mr. Deluxe—«l have Just been looking over the hooks in your parlor. doctor. and I am surprised that a man of your scholar— ship and intellectual tastes should care for such a lot of absolutely worthless trash. Dr. Pulser—Uh. I don't! They are to amuse my patients while they are waiting for me. as you have been—Puck. An Explicit Response. “Did you tell the hired girl that on couldn't put up with her work!" as ed Hr. Slimmins at the dinner table. “Yes." "What did she. say?" “She said that there was nothing keeping me here if I didn't like the ploce."-WMh~ lnston Star. - The Only one. _ u”. Norriw—Hlnce I have W married I invalid only one wish unmtllisd. . Harris—4nd what is that. my dear? rs. Norrie-That! were single min.— mom. a mun-mum Ilsa. “What did Masai. melt-that medal for that be m now?" “II has room more ' Wolsey “I! a- non-Ic- use an owl. ing in the sky. Iwas camping one nightinacanyon near the foot of Cook’s .- In the party was an oldv—an for an Indian—4y fairly in- telligent Ute named Sam. Pointing to the comet, I asked Sam what he could say in its defense from the standpoint of a Ute. Sam was. un- like most Indians. a great talker and could speak English very well. He was ainbitious to perfect himself in the language and readily seized on every chance for a talk. Indeed I dis— covered him on one or two occasions all alone and talking vigorously at a mark like a savage Demosthenes. "Tell about that?" said Sam, point— ing toward the comet. “Sam do it in a. heap easy. The sun is the man, and he have moon for squaw. The stars—big stars and little stat-sw are all their children. The sun don‘t like ”em. If he catch one. he eats it. This makes the stars heap ‘fraid. and when the sun has his sleep over and comes out the stars run and hide. When the sun comes. stars g0-crecp into holes and hide. But themoon is good. she loves her children—~ the stars—and when the sun sleeps she comesout in the sky. and the stars are glad, and they come out of the places they hid in and forget to be'fraid and play. But when the sun \vnkes again they run. Ho is always after them, and he catches tin-In sometimes. This one,“ con- tinucd Sum, pointing to the comet. “tho sun catch one time. He got away, though. but the sun hit him and hurt him. That‘s why be blood so. Now he's heap scared, and so he kccps his facc always toward the place where tho sun is sleeping." « New York World. Hopelessly Dull. A lawyer in this city who has bccn courting n prcii y Louisville girl for u long timc has always luckcd suflicicnt lli_‘l'\'r' to propose. ’I‘iw girl has hclpcd him along as much as sin- could. but tho proposal still hangs fire. and it looks as if he would have to resort to the Miles Standish style of courtship unless he docs better. Bron a hint as broad as tho Manda sippi has no perceptible ctfcct upon him. us the following incident will show; Tho othci'duy siic nskcd lIIIII if tho inw Was a «liilioultpI'oi‘I-ssion to icnrn. Tic told hcr It was not. at lcnst he has not found it so. and slic playfully rcmnrkcd that aim Would likc to iii-grin rcoding low at oncc. "Will you lcnd mc Millii' of your ii-xtli(mk>r”.~‘iicinquii'cll. ill coursi- ho was only too willing l-Hlidlw‘ th'. und whcn ln- :iskcd what \"ulumos silo \vonld wnnt first, sin- lonkI-d at him, smilcil ni'chly mid :mswvrcd that silo lwiicvml sin- prcfcrrcd “'l‘hc Low on Purim-whips" and “Sin-L lion's Law on Mnrriugc.“ Any fol low who i'uilI-d to catch on in this should he sold to u Trappist moons th-y. lleis simply hopeless. Louis villc 'I‘IIncs. Zilaximliian's “'ay Willi Train Robbers. thn Maximilian was cmpcror of Mexico. tho country was och'I'un with train robin-1‘s. Tin-y nmrchcd about in largo bonds. torc up tin- ! trucks and l'iliiilt‘il cvci'ylmdy. (im- idny tlic 1mm from Vcru i‘I'lII. to flu- .l'll)’ oi Moxico \\'zi.~ bounding gziyly tilting. iin' ii\'I‘ t'lllll‘ili'H‘ilit‘tl with; i hidnigoq-s. III'UIlN. mark. 3 \vonn-n and * ‘ i'ui‘mcrs. r-uddi-nly ii cunn- in u ‘filiillli‘llli. 'l'm- il'ann ttnunlcriwloui, . "iSnmlIm-I" iaiiil' of lili' Mimi llii' l';.).;‘,.i'll lvlll (ii-s iii-lnii‘ I'iillium \vcrc linml up. Hm! «only lililillumw‘, pcons. mnrkct \i'om on ninl f'ni liii‘ia aroma Tllt‘l't‘ wn~ n blinding ilnr-ii and n lit'iift‘llillg \‘olh-y Ti'iom lmili hiiit‘r of tho cur. and it)“ of Milo idllliillh i'i-il dcaul. \vliilc tlii- flow l zonm'cs, disguiscd ill the costumcs of .lln- conniI-y. iuI'm-d out of tho I'ili's. » ‘pursucd iin- flying" robin-rs nod kiilml iiiwm cw-i'y one, ’r‘d. Louis (ilolw licnim'roi, i How Fulgurilrs l'urln. imbibing; .\ geologist gives this ca plmmnon. "When a bolt of light dim; strikes n bcd of squl, ll plnngm downward into thc sund “Witch‘- low" loss or gi‘cnlcr. li'unsfoi'niinu unmilnnn-onniy into glib-«N tlwsilicu in tho mob-rial through which it pnsscs. ‘l‘bus by lih great heat it loi ms at once u glass tube of prccifw ly itsown size. Now and then such n iulw is found and dug up. Ful- gin‘itco how- bccn followed into the Filillii by cxruvaiions for "curly 30 find. They vary III intcrior diam- etnrfroni inc size of a «pull to 3 inches or on do. according to tho I» mo of ilwfliwli." . .\ ramily Arrange-rem. Ive had It rip in my Sunday com for a mouth. but it wnl bo iixcd whcn Igo home tonight.“ said lhnusquiz- aw. “How do you know i" asked Skim. unlici. "i bet my wife on cents I'd find it there. Hlo-‘il new it to win tho mom 9 '. “You could have not it scwml at u ruIloI-‘s for that." "I know. butl wanted to keep the moneyin the family.” -~Hur1xnr's Ba- znr. » -0. I. -' Universal Insecticide. Add an ounce of oil of cedar and an ounce of oil of Wintergren to iii ounces of deodorissd bensinc. This mappiiedwlfin brush to on ' when has or beset: are i 'When the last comet was stream" Sim- I-Iionuii. on cilhcrj .\ (”lulu-iii- is i'oi'IIIml by a bolt oi‘ ' , . “son OUR—— May Saie of Carpets WE WILL GIVE, 0N BETTER GRADES, A Cash Discount of ice per yard. Making all Wool Ingrains, 500, 55c, best 650; Tapestry Brussells, 60c. 65c,and beet 80c; Body Brussells, 900, $1.00, beet 81.15; Velvets and Moquettes, only $1.00; Mattings, Oil Cloths and Lino. leums. A. Dickerman & Son, 84 WASHINGTON STREET. SOUTH' NORWALK. CONN. Win _ PAPERS. “MM If you will carefully read the locals in our daily papers. you will see that some of the merchants are selling white lead below cost. We are not in on lead. but On Walii'apeis We he Their. Not Xactly at cost. but making enough profit to pay expenses; we will quote a few prices: 80 Inch lagrain. our price. 850; others charge 50o; Blanhs' white backdfnll length. from 120 to 25c; others charge from 15c to 30c. Gilt. 16c, 18c and 20c. with 5c advance toOl; others charging 50 per cent. more than we do for the same grade of goods. Borders are sold as low as To a yard. and from that to The. Our stock is immense. our W73“? the low-est Experts say we have the finer-t filinriment in own. 0n PICTURE FRAMING we are the same so on Wall Papers: that is TBA It. We employ only first ‘I-lass artists for our Painting and Paper Hanging. N. B.—-Rcturn fare to parties residing om of South Nor-walk. .—.-~«w———— M DECKER Sets the prices. others try to follow and get left. ”Washington 8t. 80'. Normalitlii P. J. FLYN N Plumbing. Steam and Gas fitting ins WASHING'J‘ON S'l‘. POINTS-Very long body. very short gear, Very high wheels, ve ‘ stiff whore rigidity “is indicated.very elastic where elasticity is requIred,therefore very true an light moningfipringg as sensitive as air cushions, that may be deflected by the hand, but sustain 600 pounds. New Bailey circle under half made solid in front axle. Perch connection made solid,in hack axle: The been» tiful Richards axle that runs a month without retelling. Draft in direct line with shaft shackles. New Bailey steel bound indestructible dash. i‘ut. spring cushion for seat. lligh foot rod, and foot room enough for any body. Prettiest wagon on wheels. Stylish. Convenient. lighfwmnilinig.flm B ru “SWiCk Trap. You ought to come see if. Wagons of all Mada: ‘Sew and some! Cor. Madison and hanilin Sheets, L U T H ER M , WRIGHT, So. Nowell. .l. I“. Flynn will have pcrwvnnl charm-oi this department. ' Plumbing overhaulI-d and put in HM class sanitary condition. PORTER WATER MOTOR lien in iin- world. (‘all and got prices. mil if : THEODORE SAYS: Never Before in South Norwalk, was THERE ANYTHING LIKE THIS OFFERED One continual Sale of Summer floods. LADIES’ DEPARTMENT. 5m Pair Ladics’ Kid Oxford Patent Leather tip; Worth $1.25, at villC. 500 Pair Ladics‘ Kid Oxford Patent Leather tip, Square toe; Worth £2.00, at $1M”. 500 Pair Ladics' Kid Oxford Patent Leather tip and Front Stay; Worth 82.0”. of. rim. 300 Pair Ladics' Nice Russet Blucher Oxford; Worth 81.51), at zinc. 300 Pair Ladies’ Russet Oxford Common Sense—Just the Thing for Sore I’m-t: Worth 8L5”. at fific. i 100 Pair Ladies’ liand Welt Patent Leather tip Kid Oxford; Worth 83.00, at soon. i 200 Pair Ladios’ Whole Fox Big Button Razor tee, Wing tip Shoes; Worth 34.”! l, at $2M“ 200 Pair Ladies' Fine Cloth top Whole Fox Razor too, Patent Leather tip; Worth Moo, at thou. 200 Pair Ladies’ Fine Cloth tap Whole Fox Square toe. Patent [mother tip: Worth iii-mo, at $2.00. 200 Pair Ladies’ Very Fine Kid Big Button Crimp V amp. Patent Leather tip; Worth tifiO. at 02.50. E 200 Pair Ladies’ Kid Big Button Square toe. Crimp Vamp—The Latest 'l'hing Out: Worth 84,50, at $2.7M. H 300 Pair Ladies’ Kid Button Patent tip. all Sizes. This is a Dandy: Worth “Jul. at 31.00. :3le Pair Misscs’ Spring IIecl, Button, Plain toe; J. i". Swain’s Make; Worth $2.01), at $1.25. MEN’S DEPARTM EN . 100 Pair Men’s Fine Square toe Lace Shoes; Worth 2.00, at 1.25. 300 Pair Men’s Fine Calf Lacee and Congress; Worth 3.00. at 1.50. 400 Pair Men's Fine Calf Blnoher, Cap toe; Worth 2.50. at 1.50. 300 Pair Men’s Fine Calf Blocher, Piccadilly Cap toe; Worth rum at 2.0” 350 Pair Men’s Fine Russia Calf Blucher Welt: Worth 3.50, at 2.25. a" Ladies’ and Gentlemen these are the biggest bargains ever ofl‘PrH‘i in South Namath. ‘N THEO. H. OLSEN, “8| Washington Street, SOUTH NORWALK, CT. "N.
Norwalk Chronicler