Norwalk Chronicler

Norwalk gazette, Friday, May 14, 1897 · page 7

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The Honorable J F Greer, one of the
best known and most highly respected

, county Judges of the State of Florida,

writes of his horrible sufferings from
Ini.‘ ‘mmatory Rheumatism: .

Ol-‘FiCli or J. F. GREER, COUNTY JUDGE, :_
Green Cove Springs, Clay Co., Fla.
GENTLEMEN : Twenty-three years ago I
was attacked with inflammatory rheumatism.
‘l was attended by the most eminent physician
in the land. I visited the reat Saratoga
Springs, N. Y., the noted Hot prings of Ar-
kansas, and many other watering places,
always consulting with the local phvsrcians for
directions, and finally came to loricla, ten
years ago. About two years ago I had a. severe
attack of rheumatism, was confined to my
' room for twelve Weeks, and during that time
was induced to try P. P. P., Lippman’s Great
Remedy, knowing that each ingredient was
good for impurities of the blood. After use-
mg two small bottles I was relieved. At four
different times since I have had slight attacks
and each time I have taken two small bottles
of P. P. P., and have been relieved, and I con-
sxder P. P. P. the best medicine of its kind.
Respectfully. J. F. GREER.

James M. Newton, of Aberdeen, Ohio,
says he bought a bottle of P. P. P. at
Hot Springs, Arkansas, and it did him
more good than three months’ treat-
ment at Hot Springs.

Rheumatism, as well as sciatica and
gout, is cured by a course of P. P. P.,
Lippman’s Great Remedy.

 

P. P. P., Lippman’s Great Remedy, is
a friend indeed to weak women. It is
a positive and speedy cure for general
Weakness and nervousness.

All skin diseases are cured by it; any-
thing from pimples to the worst cases
of eczemas succumbing to the wonder-
ful healing powers of P. P. P.

Dyspepsia and indigestion in their
worst form are cured by it. As a tonic
to restore the appetite and to regain
lost vigor, it is simply marvelous.

P. P. P. is the best spring medicine
in the world. It removes that heavy,
out-of-sOrts feeling and restores you to
a condition of perfect physical health.

For Indigestion, Sick and Nervous
Headache, Sleeplessness, Nervousness,
Heart Failure, Fever, Chills, Debility
and Kidney Diseases, take P. P. P.,
Lippman’s Great Remedy, the most
wonderful medicine in the world

Sold by all drugglsts.

UPPMAN BROS.. Apothecaries, Sole Prop'rs.
Lippmnn’s mock. Savannah, Ga.

 

it's neglect of
throat and

bronchial HALE’S
troubles

that HONEY
leads to 0"

death-

. HOREHUUND
deahng - mo
diseaSe. TAR

No wonder Hale's Honey of Horehound and
Far is praised by its users. Its curative effects
In like magic. Sold by druggists.

 

Pike's Toothache Drops cure in one minute.

 

Special to Readers of This Paper.
ported. Good Teas and
Coffees, 250. per lb. We

: 31;! ., ,. Send this ”ad.” and 10

. .. . . ' cents in stamps and we

‘ ‘ Will mail you 14 lb. of

H A I will send 5 lbs. of FINE

FAMILY TEAS on receipt of this ” ad." and $2.00. All
charges paid. . (S. L.)

. 7 any kind of Tea you
n may select. the bestim-
THE GREAT AMERICAN TBA 00.,
31 and 33 Vesey St.. N. Y., P. 0.80x 289.

 

 

DAVID W. RAYMOND

1 Funeral Director and Emiaiiner

39 Washinzton Street South Norwalk

Residence . Manackemo Hotel.

 

“Horace E. Dann.

EXOELSIOh

Liverv and Sales Stable.

M--WW--M\
Opposite Dsnbury and
Norwsik Railroad depot
Norwalk. Conn. Stylish
Single or Double Teams
with or without. drivers
Safe horses for women
mdchildren
.. nous HORSES A ‘SDECIAU Y

 

Piano Lessons. ’

‘1 is. GEORGE W. BRADLEY... (dsuehter
_ of the late Wm. B. Nash.) lees efficient
and satisfactory instructions on the Piano 2

' her home $1.193 \[mio "reef.

 

*J. D. Jennings. -

UNDERTAKfv

' . 'Opoosite
Street Railway Depot.

,7 u~

 

PER CAPITA MONEY.

DO PRICES DEPEND UPON AMOUNT
OR UPON KIND OF MONEY?

Facts Which Will Help to Dispel the
“More Money” Delusion;— Some Posers
For the 'Silverite Professors Who Are
Conducting the Financial
School"—Why Are Prices High and Per
Capita Money Low In Silver Standard
Countries? — Should Deposits In Banks
Be Included In Estimating Amount of
Money Which Affects Prices?

“National

One of the numerous fallacies upon
which the free silver delusion is found-
ed is the assumption by all silverites
and cheap money adVOCates that prices
are regulated by the amount of money
in circulation and that there is any nec-
essary relation between prices and
amount of money. When driven from
one position, the bimetallists take ref-
uge in another just as insecure and il-
logical, but perhaps a. little more hid-
den by sophistry. The more enlighten-
ed among them do not now assert that
to double the amount of money is to
double prices. They generally admit
that the rapidity of- circulation and the
use of credits affects the efficiency of
money and prevents an exact statement
of the relation between amount of mon-
ey and goods, but that more money un-
doubtedly means higher prices, and vice
versa.

The per capita idea of money so prev-
alent with silverites is disproved in
many ways.
amount of money per capita in use in
different countries at the same or at
different times fail to show any cer-
tain relation between prices and money.
Thus, while prices have declined in the
world and in this country very greatly
since 1800 or 1852 or 1872, the amount
of money in use has increased enor-
mously. From a per capita circulation
of $4.99 in 1800, $14.63 in 1852 and
$18. 19 in 1872 we now have one of $23,-
and this notwithstanding the greater
rapidity of circulation of modern dol-
lars and the vastly improved and ex-
tended use of credits. Will some “more
money” advocate please explain this
great fall of prices in connection with
the great increase in per capita money?

Again, the per capita circulation of
the gold standard countries of the world
is about $18; that of the silver stand-
ard countries only about $4. 30. Will
some of the silvcrite professors who are
conducting “financial schools” in west-
ern and southwestern states explain to
their classes why prices in silver stand-
ard countries are about twice as high
as in gold standard countries, although
the per capita circulation is less than
one-third as great? Will they explain

that the. value of the material from

which money is made has much more
to do with prices than the amount of
money in use? Will they tell their class-
es that gold has always been more val-
uable, weight for weight, than silver,

"and that it has recently become 33 times

as valuable while most of the coining
ratios of the world were established
when gold was only 15 or 16 times as
valuable as silver? Will they then ex-
plain that the value of both gold and
silver bullion is fixed in the long run
by the. cost of production and that there-
fore the value of bullion does not de-
pend upon the quantity of money in cir-
culation?

Will they try to make it clear
that if it takes five hours of labor to
produce a bushel of wheat and five
hours of labor to prorluce 23.22 grains
of gold one product will exchange for
the other—that is, the price of wheat
will be $1 per bushel under our present
standard? Will they then add that; if it
requires only 2% hours’ work to pro-
duce enough silver (371% grains) to
make a dollar that the bushel of wheat
will not exchange for less than two sil-
ver dollars, and that this is the reason
why prices are higher in silver standard
countries? Will they explain the origi-
nal ‘ ‘American financial policy, ” which
was to keep the coinage ratio as close
as possible to the market ratio? Will
they ask the members of their classes to
vote to restore this “thoroughly Amer-
ican financial policy?”

If the corps of silver professors and

. cheap money statesmen who are con-

ducting the “national financial school”
fail to answer the preceding questions,
perhaps they are willing to explain
what kinds of money are included in
making up the amount of money which
affects prices. Does it include all kinds
of government or state paper ‘money, as
well as gold, silver and copper coins?
Does it include bank‘notes, which form
a considerable proportion of our present
circulating medium? If you include
government and bank notes, why not
include bank credits? Are not more ex-
changes and greater exchanges effected
by means of checks than by means of
either paper money or coins? Is it not
as easy for one who has “credit” (de-
posits) in a bank to buy and sell as if
he had money in his pocket? Do these
credits or deposits necessarily consist of
money at all? If a man has that amount
of property, can he not have $1,000,000
credit with his bank on which to draw
checks at any time? Cannot such a man
buy and sell on a large scale without
the use of ordinary money? Why, then,
should bank deposits not be included in
making up the per capita circulation of
a country?

When the classes of the “national
financial school” can pass an examina-
tion on these “per capita” questions, we
will prepare a sctpf questions on other
subjects, as, for instance, the Cause of
high and low interest rates, the advan-
tages of high piece, the blessings of
cheap money, etc—Byron W. Holt.

 

Important Business. ‘

“Appoint your committees, Mr. Reed,
and let the house go to work, ” advises
the Chicago Times-Herald (Rep. ).
“Two great subjects are now pressing
upon the house for consideration. One
is the bankruptcy bill and the other is
currency rcfcrm'. ”

Statistics of prices and'

 

OLD‘ soz ANS 'His TRiCKS.

Scotch Collie for which Sun
, Antonio Mourns.

Old Boz. the famous and world-re-
nowned sable Scotch collie, is dead.
That simple sentence will cause many
a regret to thousands of hearts, even
if Boz was only a 4103', says the Chi
cago Inter-Ocean.

He was better known than thou-
sands of men who think themselves
eminent. He once slept in Windsor
Castle, and was netted by Queen Vic-
toria. The Prince Of W’ales offered
$5,000 for him after witnessing his
marvelous tricks.

He has been to almost every foreign
court, and has received the attention
of high dignitaries in this and other
lands. President Cleveland stroked
his shaggy coat in the White House.

The dog was never on public exhibi-
tion, but was the traveling companion
of his owner, "who took supreme (le-
light in showing the animal to his
friends.

The dog could select any card in the
deck when told, and if it was not
there a whine would follow. He could
distinguish betwen colors as well as a
human being. More wonderful than
all, he could oeunt money, make the
proper change to an exact cent. If told
to bring $31.31 or any sum from coins
of various denominations, he would do
so without a mistake.

W'hen told to walk like a baby, be

Famous

would creep along the floor and imitate“

a child to perfection. He could pre-
tend h-e was lame and walk most piti-
.ably. Boz would also wash his feet,
or any one foot as directed. He would
bring any object that he could carry
when sent after it. When once told a
person’s full name, he never forgot it,
but would always deliver a letter or
package to that very individual at any
place he had ever visited. Boz has of-
ten been in Chicago.

When he was once taken to a place
he alvays remembered it and would
return to it if sent on an errand. Many
persons who have crossed the sea on
the same vessel as the dog will recall
his wonderful feats performed on
deck for the benefit of the sailors’ re-
lief fund. Mr. Harris had often re-
fused $10,000 for the truly wonderful
animal.

 

' Dolls.

From royalty downwards the doll
occupies .an important place in every
nurser , and boasts a world-wide
charm. It is interesting to learn a lit—
tle about the various stages through
which the fascinating toy passes ere
it is transmitted to the hands of chil¥
hood. Sonneberg is a great seat of
the dell industry, and large factories
abound there, although much of the
work is done by men and women in
their own homes, such as, for instance,
making up and stufl‘ing. the bodies of
the dolls and dressing them. Several
kinds of material are used for the
bodies—papier m-ache, leather and
linen—the latter making the finest
specimens. It is rather amusing to
learn that the material'of which “doll
aristocracy” is made is regarded in
doll-land in the same light as “blue
blood” is with us. The “upper middle
class" dpll has its arms and legs
screwedV on to the body, so that a
broken limb is easily replaced by a
sound one; the cheap doll is secured
merely with glue. ‘

Every limb is made in two parts,
which are pressed in iron moulds and
then fitted together. A flesh tint is
added, nails are painted on, and a
coat of enamel makes the doll wash-
able. The eyes come from Lanschu,
where there are glass works, and they
are fitted in with plaster of Paris, a
lead weight being employed with eyes
that open and shut. The aristocratic
porcelain doll is frequently coated
with wax, which gives her a coquet-
tish air, and if she talks she is pro—
vided with a little pair of bellows. Af-
ter the "hair, which, by the by, comes
from England—is fixed, it receives the
finishing touches from the hair dress-
er of puppet land, and then eye-lashes
are painted by nimble-fingered girls.
Men chiefly make the bodies of the
dolls and the women dress them, work
beginning at 7 o’clock in the morning
and finishing at 8 in the evening—Phil-
adelphia Ledger.

A_Gontle Reminder.

Mr. Spriggins (gently)——-My dear, a
Boston man was shot at by a burglar-
and his life was saved by a button
which the bullet struck.

Mrs. Spriggins—Well, what of it?

Mr. Spriggins (meekly)—-—Nothing:
only the buttons must have been on.—
-B-oston Traveller. . .

Horticultural.
“Let me see,” mused the sporting ed-
itor; “what is an incubator?”
’ “An incubator,” replied the agricul-
tural editor, “is an agg plant.”—Chi-
cago Tribune.

THEY SEEMED TO HAVE BEEN LOST.

 

 

 

' Ch)lly (reaating terrible experience)"

—And the ruffian put a pistol to we
head and said if I didn’t give him my
watch he’d blow me brains out. ’
‘ Miss Sharp—Oh, Mru Sappy.
didn't you give him the watch?

w b y

 

0 IE READ AS JOURNALIST.

Used Horseshoe Nails for Type with Great
Success.

Before Opie Reed wrote The Juck-
lins, in fact before he ‘i‘went in for”
literature at all, he was a high private
in the ancient and honorable army of
journalists, and earned his cordwood,
garden truck and other luxuries of life
by the sweet of the brow of the man
who “pulled” and old-fashioned hand
press for him. Then he used to tell
funny stories about himself, and some
people think he told better stories then
than he tells now, but‘ he didn’t get paid
as well for them. This is one of the lit-
tle tales that linger in the memory of
many Of his old-time friends: It seems
that he was printing a little paper in
a little town in Kentucky—or perhaps
it was in Arkansas—the state cuts no
figure. One day his printer came rush-
ing over to the grocery store, where
the editor was sitting on an apple bar-
rel, conversing with other great minds
on problems of state and other things,
and demanded an immediate audience
with the potentate of the paste pot. He
had news of a dire calamity to the
printing office. The. only letter W in
the shop had been lost. Read hurled
all the powers of his gigantic intellect
into the breach, as it were, and after
a few seconds cerebration gave com-
mand that a sortie should immediately
be made toward the sanctum of the
village smith and horseshoer for the
purpose of capturing a horse shoe nail.
This order was obeyed. A horseshoe
nail was secured, cut so as to stand
“type high” and dexterously substi-
tuted for the lost W. So far so good—4
very good, indeed; but other troubles
came. The Y was lost next, and
another onslaught was made on the
horseshoeing academy. The W and Y
loomed up so well that it was decided
to throw away the M, which had be-
come somewhat decrepit, and use a
third horseshoe nail, and so the paper
came out that week. It was a trifle
spotted, true, where the new W and
the new Y and the new M were used,
but they were bright spots, and the
comments were commendatory. Next
week several more letters were lost,
and other horseshoe nails were put in
the tin can where the type was kept.
About this time the h'orseshoer bought
a new keg of nails, and then Editor
Read decided on an exhibition of that
wonderful genius that has since
brought him fame. He boldly threw
'away all his Old type, set the entire
paper up in horseshoe nails, and then
posed before an admiring public. That
week the postoflice of the town handled
more mail than ever before or since,
and the entire increase was made up
of letters congratulating the great edi-
tor on the improved apearance of his
paper.

DU MAURIER’S JOKE POTS.

Stories Sent by His Friends of which He
Made Good Use.

Du Maurier has been much written
about in the press by men. pretending
to be his most intimate friends,
though in one or two conspicuous in-
stances the family of the late lamented
were rather surprised at this presump-
tion. One of Du Maurier’s institutions
was a pair of vases which he called
his “joke-pots.” He used to receive a
large number of contributions from
English and American friends, all pur-
porting to be true, and worthy of an
illustration by him. I know at least
several instances where friends of
mine have sent him texts, which he
very soon afterwards used to good ad—
vantage. As these contributions ar-
rived he threw them into one of these
“joke-pots,” by way of filing—a new
kind of pigeon-hole. Then. when a mo-
ment arrived in which he had to
scratch his head for a subject, he
would dip his hand —or rather his arm
—iuto this lottery, and fish 111) one con-
' tributio-n after the other, until he found
one that might be regarded as a prize
ticket. _

In order that he might insure himself
against repetition, he observed the rou-
tine of never putting a contribution
back into the same “joke-pot” from
which he had extracted it, but depos-
ited it in the second vase until the first
one had been cleared. Then he at-
tacked the second one and emptied all
the lottery slips back into the first,
and so on, daily weeding out the Worth-
less ones, and refreshing his memory
as to those best adapted to his pur-
pose. The fact that these two “joke-
pots” were kept so well supplied by

 

friends who volunteered their contri-

butions is in itself ample testimony to
the personal charm widely exercised
by this warm-hearted master of black
and white—Harper’s Weekly.

Rag Picker \Vorth $100,000.

a Odd stories have often been told of
the chiffouniers of Paris, but even
more curious perhaps is the case of
Mother Carpio, a female rag-picker,
said to be worth $100,000, who went
out to America from her native Italy
when she was a girl of twenty, and
has, for the last five-and-forty years
honored New York by helping to re-
lieve it of unconsidered trifles. Even
now this human beast of burden, with
back bent by the accumulated weights
of countless sacks of rubbish, works
some fifteen hours a day—from 2 in
the morning until 5 in the afternoon—'
on the scanty support of tw0 meals,
and she is said to have invested care-
fully all her savings.

The Sketch says that under such
conditions life would seem scarcely to
be worth living, but Mother Carpio
keeps on with the 01d routine of rag-
picking year after year, and the lucky
heir presumptive is a young nephew
of hers, who will thus come into a
not to say haggish, aunt passes hence.
—Hr’.fper’s Round Table.

—-—-

‘His End in View.
“The waiter is very attentive. I
wonder what end he has in view.”
“His tip, of course.” ' .

 

 

 

 

 

FOR BOYS AND GIRLS
A Tori Cent Queen.

Imagine a. queen travelling around
the world on ten cents! It seems pre
posterous, and yet it is a fact. Then
is a certain man out West, according
to the St. Louis Republican, who wll
do this for any one who will send hin
an order, whether it comes from Eng
land, China, or any other foreign couu
try, and he says:

‘fI have frequent demands from all
parts of the world. You see, I semi
these queens as follows: You will no
tiee that there are two little circular
compartments in this royal carriage,’
and he produced a little wooden box,
“one in which the queen is kept, ant
the other for her suite; the little plug
in the centre of the box is solidified
candied honey, which will furnish food
to the regal party until they arrive a1
their destination. .

“The compartments are covered with
a fine wire gauze to prevent the escapi-
of the insects.

“This large one in the first compnrt
men, the one with the delicately
shaped long body and beautiful'mark-
lugs, is an Italian queen bee, and she
is valued at $10. I have queens valued
all the way from $2 to $25.

“The others, in the second compart-
ment, are the suite, or worker bees,
that will accompany her on the trip
not only for company, but also for the
heat they will produce to keep her
comfortable on the stormy voyagu
over the great cold seas.

“After we have the bees safely

stowed in their proper compartments.
we switch the little lid around and
fasten it with a tiny screw at the
ends, and on its top surface the ad-
dress of the consignee is written, the
stamp is affixed, and away goes her
majesty, a. queen sold into slavery for
the trifling sum of $10, and sent to
her destination on a. ten-cent stamp.
. “Bee-culture has grown so rapidly in
the United States that there are few
farmers now who have not a substan-
tial apiary and who do not not a hand-
some income each year from the honey
the bees yield, and besides the farmer
there are thousands of gentlemen and
ladies who are apiarists purely fro-m
the fascination the hobby affords.”—
Harper’s Round Table.

 

Eskimo Mother and Baby,

The Eskimos are very fond of their
children. There are seldom many of
them in one family, and those that are
are very well taken care of, accord-
ing to an Eskimo’s notion, which, of
course, quite fits an Eskimo baby.
They cry very little, and lie around
and suck blubber with great content-
ment all day long. Sometimes a very
fond mother will make for her baby
a queer kind of candy. .

There is a certain bird which the
men shoot whenever they get a chance,
and which has bright red feet. T118
mother will cut off these feet. and
draw out the bones, and, by. blowing
into the skin, inflate it to its utmost
capacity. Then she will fill the little
red case with marrow, and tie it up
for an extra good gift to her baby.

The youngsters like this queer candy
as well as our children like chocolate
creams, which, to be sure, are not
half so pretty to look at.

When an Eskimo baby dies, his
father and mother grieve over him
very sincerely. One Arctic traveller
tells of a mother who brought her
child with her to the United States.
It died on the voyage, and the mother
was unconscious for more than. a day
afterward. The baby was buried in
a little New England cemetery; and,

according to Eskimo custom, his play-.

things were laid on the grave. Among
other things there was a little pail
which a sailor had given the child, and
some naughty little American stole it
from the grave. The mother was in-
consolable.

 

Retouching Pencils.

The folowing scale will be found of
service to any one using a camera
and who wish to order retouching-
pen-cils and are not familiar with the
different grades:

HHHHHI—I—-Extra hard.
HHHH—Very hard.
:HHH—Very hard.
HH——Harder.
H—Hard.
.. F—Medium.
' HB—Hard and thick.
B—Soft and black.
BB—Soft and very black.
BBB—Very soft and very black.
BBBB—Very soft and extra black.

BBBBBB—Extra soft and extra black.

Four pencils will be all that 'are
necessary, and most of the work can
be done with two. A hard pencil, a
medium, soft, and soft and very black
will answer all purposes. These pen-
cils cost 10c. each, except for the ex-
tra soft and black, the three grades of
very soft and black costing 130. each.
—-Harper’s Round Table.

 

SHADOWS.

 

7r

 

To make the shadow picture as rep-
resented, plaee one hand on top of the
other, and throw a handkerchief over
the wrist. Let, the first finger of the
lower hand hang down for the trunk,
which can be swayed back and forth.

 

“Why is a naughty schoolboy like a
typewriter?” Because you have to
thump him to make him spell.”

ORIGINALITY NOT ALOBT ART.

 

How a Man Edits a. PaperIVlthout P“?

c

ting Into Print.

“I was in a. small Southern town on
business,” said the commercial tray.
eller, “and had just left‘a store where
(I had sold a. bill of goods, when a
man approached and began to qu‘és»
tion me. As I was answering his
questions and trying to get away from
him, the proprietor of the store came
out and introduced me to the queer
genius as the local editor. Then I be.
gan to ask a few questions myself,
but before I had time to get in many,
the town marshal appeared down the
street with a prisoner, and the editor
dropped me, and went after the latest
excitement. ‘I didn’t know you had a
newspaper here,’ said I to the mer-
chant. ‘IVe haven’t.’ said he,
we’ve got an editor.’ ‘How can he edit
a newspaper when there isn’t any?’
said 1. ‘He’s a genius,’ said he. ‘He
doesn’t look it,’ said .1. ‘Well, I’ll tell
you what that chap does,- and what
he has been doing for a year or more.
You know we have a population of
seven or eight hundred here, 'and we
don’t get a. daily paper here until it is
eighteen hours old, and then we don’t
get it regularly. Well, what did that
chap do but beg a corner in the room
where the postofli‘ce is, and there he
put an old arm-chair some one gave
him, and called it the editorial rooms
of the Perpetual Gazette. At first peo—
ple laughed at him, but he went
around everywhere in town gathering
the news, exactly as if he were going
to print it, and he knew how, for he
had been a bright neWSpaper man
once. Then he would collect a group
of people and offer to tell all he knew
for five cents from each listener, or
sometimes he would get on a barrel
outside of the oflice, and, after telling
*what he had to tell, he would pass the
hat and collect some times as much as
fifty or seventy-five cents. He always
got a lot of news out of the daily pa-

ing or the day after. I have often had
him come in here at night, and for a
quarter of a dollar got an hour or more
of entertainment out of him besides
getting the news. He reads stories in
the papers, too; and if anybody wants
to hear stories he can give all the cur-
rent ones at so much a listener.’ ” .

 

Couldn’t Hear the Music.

Colonel Brown was a mighty fox
hunter, and loved the sport; beyond
words.
bounds and during the season thought
of nothing but his hunters, his dogs,
and the weather. He was once enter-
taining a friend from America, whose
ideas of hunting any animal involved
the use of firearms, and who had
never seen a fox hound. He had been
with difli‘culty persuaded to go forth
one morning with the Colonel and
some friends to a. meet, and they were
waiting impatiently for the hounds to
take the scent.
upon their listening ears the din of 30
canine voices in full cry. The 001-
onel’s eyes gleamed, and, as he settled
his feet in the stirrups and stretched
his arm toward the yelplng pack, he
cried: .

“Major, listen to that heavenly mu.
sic!” ’

The Major pricked up his ears for a
seckmd or two, and then replied:

“I can’t hear a thing, those dogs are
making such a noise.”

The Colonel put his spur savagely
into his horse‘s side and dashed
away, leaving his guest to his own de-
vices—Harper’s Round Table.

 

Promptly Rendered.

Despite his stern manner the Duke
of Wellington had a kindly nature. In
a public ball-room he came across an
old soldier friend long lost sight of. To
the kindly query whether he, the Duke
of Wellington, could be of any service

unprovided with the money so neces‘
sary to purchase advancement, “Yes,
your grace, you can do me a very ’great
service,” was the prompt reply. “If
you will give me your arm across the
room, and appear to take some interest
in me, you will make my fortune.” The
service was forthwith rendered, and
explanation sought. The fact was that
the oflicer in question was paying his,
addresses to a rich widow of the place
who still hesitated to accept him. But
she was at the ball, and she saw with
her own eyes how greatly her pretend-
ant was appreciated. This settled the
question; the officer was accepted,
married, bought his way back to full
pay, rose steadily, till he reached the
highest honors.

 

Just a Little of the Gravy.

An ex-Confederate soldier of South
Carolina tells this story: “I had a
friend who was a chaplain in our
army, :1 good man, as such men. should
be. Several of .his own church mem-
bers were in the same regiment. He
kept a sharp eye on us in the way we
should go. When we were rather
short fer' rations, some of the boys
brought in a fine, young porker. ‘Now,
boys, that’s wrong,’ said he; ‘it is
simply stealing, and you ought not to
do it.’

“ ‘Well, our consciences ' don’t
trouble us, and yours . won’t trouble
you when we get this meat cooked;
you will want some of it, too.‘ .

“ ‘No, I won’t eat it. I’d as soon eat
stolen meat.’ ' -

“But we divided it up among the
boys, and proceeded to cook a. ham in
the best possible style. The smell of
it fairlv made our teeth water, and
when it was cooked we "were more
than ready for it. .

“‘There’s a fine piece; cut that off
for the chaplain,’ said one.

“ ‘No, I thank you,’. said he. ‘I said
I wouldn’t eat it, and I won’t—but,’
passing up his plate—Tu take a little
of the gravy.’ ”—Detroit Journal.

 

, ,

 

Presently there burst ‘

‘but .

per, and supplied it fresh every morn- -

He owned a fine pack. of. '

to his friend, who was on half-pay and \

o

 

 

 

 

 

 

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